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Commogender flag
(When you know you aren't cis, but settle with boy or girl for the time being or a feeling that one is definitely not cis, but is unable to define what their gender is due to mental exhaustion. Can be used as commoboy/commogirl if the person identifies with a binary gender for convenience.)
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Mettaton from Undertale is a panromantic aceflux genderfluid gendercute robot who only uses he/him pronouns since other pronouns cause him social dysphoria! He loves and supports his cousin Napstablook, an aroace foggender commogender ghost who uses they/them pronouns in real life and ☁️/☁️s and 👻/👻s online!
Hi, do you know of a term (or should i coin one) where your gender relates to your family? to explain: i feel totally not-female and nonbinary when i'm not with my family, but when i'm with them, and forced into the older sister/eldest daughter role, i'm cool with it and only then do i feel comfortable with femininity and being perceived as female. is that just a genderfluidity thing?
there’s a few that might work?
Cennendgender / Pareogender: Where your gender identity is heavily influenced by your parents or guardian figures. From the old English word cennend meaning parent.
Aerogender: “Where an individual’s gender relies highly on their setting and/or atmosphere, which can be composed of a great number of things (ex. who they’re around, their level of comfort, the temperature, the weather, the time of day/year, etc.)
Mutogender: A subset of genderfluid; describes when your gender changes depending on your situation.
Mirrorgender: A gender that changes to fit the people you’re around.
Commogender: When you know you aren’t cis, but you settle with boy or girl for the time being; or; A feeling that one is definitely not cis, but is unable to define what their gender is due to mental exhaustion. May be used as commoboy/commogirl if the person identifies with a binary gender for convenience.
(if you feel you do this for convenience?)
So... I don’t think I’m agender, but I am questioning and I don’t know if I’m cis or not, or what it means to feel gender. do cis people “feel” like the gender they were assigned at birth? What does that mean? Is it constant? Are they always aware of their gender? What does it mean to feel like a girl or boy or any gender, or like no gender?
dear anon,
i guess most cisgender people just feel like their gender is natural. i don’t think a lot of cis people ever question it.
for me, feeling like a gender is mostly in my head. i can’t control it, but someone in my mind is saying: “hey. you’re this gender today and you have this much dysphoria! good luck!” it’s weird, but that’s pretty much what it is for me. i just feel an amount of femininity each day and some days it’s just not there. that’s when i’m agender. i just don’t feel feminine. or masculine. i’m just a person. and some days i feel very feminine, those are my girl and juxera days.
so for me it isn’t constant, the amount of femininity i feel changes each day. but gender can be constant for some people. they feel close to the same every day.
anyway, if you feel like gender is complicated or hard to understand: i made a little list with some genders that are mostly absence of gender or as if the gender is unknown. hoping it’ll help you a bit! if not, feel free to describe how you feel and i’ll make another list of options!
Anongender: a gender that is unknown to both yourself and others
Apconsugender: a gender where you know what it isn’t, but not what it is; the gender is hiding itself from you
Commogender: when you know you aren’t cisgender, but you settled with your assigned gender for the time being
Egogender: a gender that is so personal to your experience that it can only be described as “you”
Greygender: having a gender that is mostly outside of the binary but is weak and can barely be felt
Maverique: taken from the word maverick; the feeling of having a gender that is separate from masculinity, femininity, and neutrality, but is not agender; a form of third gender
Quoigender: feeling as if the concept of gender is inapplicable or nonsensical to one’s self
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I'm not happy with my mom right now
Us: *in the mcdonalds drive thru*
Person at window: *someone I knew who had recently discovered their gender identity and become comfortable with it*
My mom: I know her....
Me: You do, but their proper pronouns are they/them.
My mom: Well I knew her as a girl so that's what I'm going to call her.
Me: I'm sorry mom, but that's incredibly disrespectful. Just because you knew them as female before their transition does not make it okay for you to call them by the incorrect pronouns, especially when you KNOW they've transitioned recently and now have different pronouns. Wouldn't you be upset if you told someone you were a woman, and someone insisted you were actually a man, and refused to acknowledge you as a female?
My mom: *shrugs, defeated, because she knows I'm right* They were born a certain gender for a reason and I just don't see why anybody would want to change that.
Me: These things don't just happen because people just DECIDE they don't want to be their born gender anymore.
But nothing I say will get you to understand so I'm done having this conversation.
I am afab, and I definitely feel like my gender is female but I don't think I'm cis. I feel dysphoria like I'm supposed to have an amab body yet I want to present as a female. What is this?
Please don’t use expressions such as “AMAB body” when you are not talking about yours (or citing someone), since assignment doesn’t necessarily correlate specific bodies. The idea that sex/gender assignment equals anatomy erases both people who transition physically and intersex people. AGAB language exists for descriptive reasons, not as a thinly veiled “politically correct” way to say “biological female” or “biological male”.
That said, I think that it’s possible that you either:
Take into account a “male coded” appearance into your gender: you want to use “female coded” clothing but you also want to see yourself as partly male or masculine;
Are at least partially female and want to have a “female coded” presentation, but want to be seen as a nonbinary/genderqueer/gender non-conforming person without changing your wardrobe, and changing your physical appearance could accomplish that;
Have some kind of issue that may translate into something similar to gender dysphoria, even if you identify with your assigned gender.
As for what labels you could possibly use, well... it’s hard to know from this description, but here are some:
Ambigender: “A feeling of two genders simultaneously, without fluidity/shifting. May be used synonymously, in some cases, with bigender.”
Genderfuck: “Some nonbinary people may choose or need to present a 'clashing' combination of gender cues that are incongruous, challenging or shocking to those who expect others to fit the gender binary. For example, combining a beard with makeup and a padded bra. This practice of transgressively breaking the rules of gender presentation is known as genderfuck, genderfucking or sometimes genderpunk.”
Lamingender: “A polygender identity that feels layered, or as if it is composed of distinct slices.“Midgender: “A gender that exists in the middle between the binary genders of female and male, and may be a mix of both."Offgender: “A gender that closely represents/is most closely represented by another gender, but is not that gender. Can be likened to what the color off-white is to white for descriptive purposes."Schrodigender or Schrodingender: “1) A gender which you can both feel and not feel.2) A single gender that exists as if it were many genders at once.”Skoliogender: “A gender which is almost recognizable, but is just slightly off; a gender which approaches a recognizable gender, before sharply veering off."Transbodied: “A term to describe being at the weird and difficult intersection between gender, sex, spiritual identity, and mental illness (sensory disorder, BIID, dissociation, etc.), while understanding that your mind and body don't match up in some way that is not straightforwardly related to gender dysphoria, wistphoria, or transition."Commogender: “1) When you know you aren't cis, but you settle with boy or girl for the time being.2) A feeling that one is definitely not cis, but is unable to define what their gender is due to mental exhaustion. May be used as commoboy/commogirl if the person identifies with a binary gender for convenience.“Contrarigender, Oppogender, Divergender or Discrepantgender: “When you feel/are two (or more) contradicting or generally `opposite' genders at the same time, such as being simultaneously completely gender-null and another gender.”Nonpuer or Nonvir: “Someone who is not male at all in any way, shape, or form, but feels a strong connection to masculinity within their gender. Nonpuer is the young form and Nonvir is the older form, as, similarly to the term "enby", many find "boy" (puer means boy in Latin) infantilizing.”That said, only you can say for sure what’s going on!~ Tath
Is there a gender that's like association with your asab because of how you were raised but your actual gender is something else?
You mean like, you still have a partial connection to your assigned gender? I don’t think there’s any term for that. You could always coin one!
There are a few similar ones though that might be helpful:
Obligender: Having a partial connection to your assigned gender due to trauma.
Personagender: A term used to describe a gender which is used in public as a social identity even though the individual doesn’t completely identify that way, eg. personaboy.
Commogender: 1) When you know you aren't cis, but you settle with boy or girl for the time being.
2) A feeling that one is definitely not cis, but is unable to define what their gender is due to mental exhaustion. May be used as commoboy/commogirl if the person identifies with a binary gender for convenience.
Cennedgender or Pareogender: Where your gender identity is heavily influenced by your parents or guardian figures.From the old English word "cennend" meaning parent.
-Hermy
