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"I don't know why you're getting all worked up over this, I'll see you again in 4 months y/n..." Sam said in a hollowed tone while rolling his eyes (which he thought you didn't notice), as he scrolled mindlessly on his phone and chuckled lightly at a post from Jake.

"I know Sam, but I just miss you when you're away, that's all" you replied gloomingly walking towards him from the kitchen in your shared apartment.

You waited for him to notice your presence as he settled himself into the faded green couch that you two had picked at the local thrift store down the block when you guys first bought the apartment.

You waited for him to invite you to sit next to him like he usually did, but to no avail, he was too focused on his phone screen. You huffed and walked to your bedroom, shut the door, undressed from your cotton shorts and tshirt that you had from high school, and went to the bathroom for a nice bath to try to help soothe your mind and put you at ease before you stressed yourself out.

As you settled into the warm, vanilla and honey scented water, you thought about how Sam and you first bought this apartment and how there was never a dull moment. Both of you pulled your money together and bought it the moment you laid your eyes on it. It wasn't anything extravagant, but it was Home. You two had just enough money to buy food and do laundry. The first month you used an air mattress and piled blankets on it and called it a bed. You showered together to "save on water", thinking it would help, but it didn't, but you didn't care. You had each other. That was enough. Then one night, while the two of you were eating Thai takeout on your kitchen floor, he mentioned seeing a couch at a thrift store down the way, so the two of you set off in search of the green couch.

A block down the way, there it was, a faded pear green color. You two shared a smirk and bought it. It was a bitch to get into the apartment, you kept saying "Pivot...Pivot...PIVOT!!!" while he was trying to get the couch into the doorway, and just about dropped the couch on his foot from laughing and said 'SHUT UP ROSS!". Your neighbors came out to the hallway and told you to be quiet, and you apologized but as soon as their door was closed, you both fell on the floor laughing and your sides were sore.

You smile to yourself as the memory floods your mind. You open your eyes and notice that the bubbles are gone and that the water has now become lukewarm. You get out of the tub, wrap yourself in your robe and begin to do your nightly skin routine. As you open the door to dry off and get on your sleep shorts and one of Sam's shirts, you notice the apartment is extremely quiet. Too quiet. As you get dressed and walk out into the living room, you notice there is no sign of Sam anywhere. He's not lounging on the couch watching a movie, not in the kitchen staring in the fridge for something to eat, and definitely not in your bedroom. You walk towards the balcony and notice him sitting outside, smoking a cigarette, you chuckle and lay your hand on his shoulder and lean down to kiss him, instead of reciprocating your gesture, he shrugs your arm off...that's when your heart was literally ripped from your chest, set on fire, and thrown to the concrete down below.

"Not right now y/n, I smell like smoke, I'm going to shower" he says as he stands, stomps his cigarette out and walks off toward the bathroom, leaving you standing on the balcony, heart torn in two, and a bone-chilling wind hitting your skin.

You slept on seperate sides of the bed that night, there was no cuddling, his warm body was not next to yours to keep you nice and toasty. You barely got any sleep that night. Your anxiety slowly eats at you and makes you wonder what you did wrong. In the early morning hours, you decided that you would confront Sam and find out what the hell had gotten into him. You deserved to know the reason why he was acting so strange. And come hell or high water, you were going to find out.

By the time you woke up, the sun was filtering in through the drapes, and the bed was empty of Sam. You got up, walked to the bathroom, brushed your teeth, pulled your hair into a bun, and washed your face before going to go talk to Sam. You said a silent prayer that yesterday was just an off day for him, and that he was just letting the nerves of the tour get to him and that he'd be back to his normal, sunny, loveable self. As you opened your bedroom door, you were met with an empty apartment...again. Only this time, he wasn't on the balcony. You walked to the kitchen and found a letter on the counter.

You recognized his handwriting, and your eyes could not for the life of you leave the page, you kept rereading the scribbled words over and over.

"Went to breakfast with the boys, then going to the studio, won't be back until late. Don't wait up for me. -S"

You couldn't believe it.

You just couldn't believe that this was Sam.

YOUR Sammy.

On Saturday night, I was in the mood to watch a musical. I could have watch Funny Girl for the fifth time or finally take the plunge and watch Cabaret, something I have been trying to do for two years ever since I saw Fosse/Verdon. I decided to step out of my comfort zone and for once not let my anxiety dictate what I watch on TV. I turned on Cabaret and watched it over the course of two days.

My expectations for the movie were pretty high. I knew it was not going to be a conventional musical given the plot and Bob Fosse's direction. However, the movie is almost four decades old and we have a tendency to underestimate stories and forms of media in general when it is not from our generation. However, I must say that this movie is pretty unforgettable and even pretty modern for the era.

We have Brian, played subtly and beautifully by Michael York. He has the glow of an innocent out-of-towner who is then taken under the wing of the eccentric Sally Bowels, played by Liza Minelli, whose performance I will discuss later. From the get-go, there is a notable spark between them and you actually feel like you are going to be taken on an adventure. They both live in a boarding house, which is pretty stable and calming compared to the other dominant setting, The Kit Kat Klub.

The Kit Kit Klub. What can I say about this establishment other than it is Cabaret. The whole movie is dependent on this environment and it is a testament to the set design of how it turned out. The movie would have been nothing without it because the hedonism just jumps out at you. I felt as if I could smell the tobacco smoke of the club patrons. The performers made me want to dance on stage with them. All of this was led by the Masters of Ceremonies, played by Joel Grey as his finest. Prior to watching the film, I thought I was going to be annoyed by this man whose makeup frightened me. By then end of the viewing, I was enraptured by his presence. He helps us navigate the film by being its one constant. Even in the rise of Nazism both outside and inside the club, he is still on his feet performing for the patrons and being as brazen as in the start of the film. What adds to his fascinating persona is the mystique behind it. There is no background to this person. Does he have a home, a family, a conscience? The only thing we do know is that life is a Cabaret and he is managing it. Rightfully so.

What contributes to the beauty of the film are the relationships. The chemistry between Sally and Brian is electric and even a third participant cannot eclipse it. In all seriousness, the movie surprised me with how modern it was. The scene where the Baron, Sally and Brian are dancing in a circle, you really feel the tension and the heat within one another. In my opinion, the movie served as an example, maybe a flawed one, of multiple party relationships. These people had chemistry and they embraced it. Also, Brian, while quiet and introverted, was never trying to be someone else in the film. His possible bisexuality was cited multiple times and never in a way that felt like he was chastised and or discriminated. He was who he was, but that did not make him love Sally any less. This movie, while it could have done better in terms of LGBTQ+ representation, did go farther than a lot of films at the time. I should put in as a disclaimer that I am not a member of the LGBT+ community and cannot speak for them. I am just an ally and any comments on this topic are encouraged.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the side love story of Natalia and Fritz. They served to characterize the innocence of love and the struggle of the Jewish community in 1930s Germany. This is when we get to the hardest part of the movie: the rise of the Nazis. The movie did such a good job of never letting us forget what was going on. While we were enjoying learning about these characters, Nazism was in the background until it could not be ignored. We went from seeing a lone Nazi soldier getting kicked out of the club to the audience being filled with them at the end. Don't even get me started on the "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" scene. The Baron's cavalier attitude about the Nazis serves as the perfect mirror to how they were underestimated in real life. Bob Fosse succeeds in balancing the rise of Nazism and the story of Sally and Brian until they are unfortunately mixed together.

While I have you, we need to talk about Liza. Prior to the movie I only knew a few things. She is the daughter of Liza Minelli, guest-starred in Arrested Development, and has an Oscar. Tell you the truth, I did not have enough experience with her to understand the hype. Now I see everything in a different light. Ms. Minelli shined in this movie. She made Sally lovable and relatable, even in all her eccentricity. She had me mesmerized for in every performance at the club. The movie feels like it was tailor-made for her. This makes me sad, because we never got to see another film like that in her career. She ended being used for tabloids and offered roles that quite frankly did not do her justice. Recently, I had watched the film, Arthur, and now that I think about it, it was a thankless role. She did not get to showcase her true talents which I think is a real waste.

My verdict: Cabaret is a must-watch film that will have you humming the songs days later.

The movie won 8 Oscars and lost Best Picture to The Godfather. You know how good you have to be competition to that film? This film needs to be talked about more. It is the perfect movie musical in that it can attract even those who abhor the genre. It would be pretty hard to do a reboot of it. DO NOT GET ANY IDEAS HOLLYWOOD!

What do you guys think? Sound off in the comments. Should there be reboot? Who should star/direct?