I met a guy yesterday. I was all dressed up to meet some friends, and I saw him looking at me from across the street. He kept glancing over and walking back and forth, and all I could think was, Please don't come over here.
I'm not a stranger to getting attention for the way I dress—bright colors, heels, and short skirts tend to be eye-catching. And I'd already gotten a few compliments before then. But I just had a feeling this guy would be different from a simple compliment.
He walked up to me after, like, ten minutes of looking over at me, but he didn't just compliment my outfit—he struck up a conversation. And at that moment, I knew he wasn't just being polite; he was interested in me. He asked for my name, and I considered giving him a fake one, but then I realized he looked my age. Usually, I'm hit on by guys who look like they're in their thirties.
Even though I get a few "Can I have your number?"s from random guys, I've never had a guy so close to my age show genuine interest. No dates to school dances, not even a talking stage.
I entertained the conversation. I'm rather introverted and completely inept at flirting, so I was expecting unbearable awkwardness, but the conversation was surprisingly... easy. So, to my shock, I gave him my number.
We texted a few times throughout the day. My responses weren't as timely, but I'm sure he could understand—I was spending time with friends, not thinking about some guy I met at a bus stop.
But after I got home, he asked, "Am I ever gonna see you again?" and it sickened me how much that gave me butterflies. I found myself texting back with an ease I'd never felt with Miles. If I screw this up, I'll never see this guy again, which is genuinely liberating.
Even though I am embarrassingly lacking in experience regarding romantic relationships, I'm not ignorant of the hookup culture among people my age. I am not allowing myself to believe that this is anything more than him wanting to get in my pants. So, for now, I'm choosing to see him as easy.
After I fell asleep, he sent me a text asking if he could see me after he got off work. Which doesn't inherently sound sexual, but he sent that message at 10:37 PM, and he still wasn't off. What else could he possibly want after 11 PM? Not only do I feel vindicated in believing that he just wants to hook up, but he must think that I'm easy.
Now, I am not opposed to hookup culture. In fact, I have always been an advocate for sexual freedom. I'd always imagined my first time being in a situation like this—low stakes, where I wouldn't have to tell someone I'm a virgin, and where I'd never have to see the person again if I didn't want to. So I can't exactly be sure that I won't have sex with him—but definitely not the day I meet him. Not only am I on my period right now, but I also have some self-respect. Even though I bitch about being a virgin and crave physical closeness, I think I'd like to know someone a bit more before they're inside me.
But whether or not this works out, at least I know now that romance—or even sexual experiences—might be easier than I thought.
—President Dork, signing off
