You're blaming yourself for their lack of maturity :
What does that mean? So you're dealing with someone who is refusing to give you proper communication and talk to you. So what do you, you start looking at yourself. Seeing where you could have done better. Wondering if maybe you had not said this or had said that, it would have led to a more productive conversation of better results.
Introspection is a very healthy tool and, in fact, can lead to growth as well as allow you to have compassion for those around. I have learned so much about myself through this tool. but sometimes, our tools can become weapons. The very hammer I use to build a house is the same one that can be used to kill a man.
So this person then continues on with their immaturity, never giving you that proper communication that you need. What happens now is you're the one constantly trying to do better, constantly seeing where you want wrong and how you can fix this. Constantly wondering if this is your fault and maybe it was best you two had never crossed paths in the first place. It's always you doing the work while they do nothing.
This constant state slowly eats away at you, like some disease that slowly breaks down the body, leaving nothing left and wondering how you got there in the first place. It takes your once healthy mindset of clear skies and turning it into one of chaos and storms. You always feel like you're the problem and never doing anything right when, in fact, it's not you who did anything wrong but the lack coming from the other person you believed you wronged.
I want you to know that their immaturity is not your burden or demons to bear and showing grace and compassion has not you made you weak but it's a sign of someone who's survived some really rough days and long nights. You've done nothing besides trying to see the good in someone who can't even give you the time of the day, and that is a brave and powerful thing to do.
But you can stop now, it's ok to walk away. And there is no sorry you owe except the one you owe yourself for allowing it to get here.
