#clarinet section

My section leader: clarinets are always going through puberty

Trombones, who lost: Where did we go wrong...

Baritones: LOGAN, WE COULD HAVE WON IF YOU DIDN'T FIX YOUR SUNGLASSES

Clarinets, who fucking won again those little squeaking pieces of shi-: *collective screaming*

Tubas and Trumpets: *all chanting* We didn't lose. We didn't lose. We didn't lose.

Saxes: Who's shoe is on the visitor hash of the 50?

Flutes: CAN YOU HEAR US NOW, MR. CRABS?!

I utterly DESPISE the typical practice of putting your last chair players on the auxiliary instruments. You know, like putting the last chair Bb clarinet on bass. It never turns out well for the player, and I’ve seen this all too many times in both middle school and high school bands.

Nowadays, there’s usually a designated player or two for bass clarinet, but more often than not, they started out on bass from this practice. So while they’re already used to the ins and outs of bass, they lag behind the rest of section in terms of technical skill. And watch what happens when they assign last chair 3rd clarinet to play alto clarinet…

shudders

And of course this goes to other instrument sections as well. I’ve also seen band directors assign baritone saxophone to the worst player in the sax section. This is the absolute worst way to build a section.