Scumlings,,, 7 am but another banger au came into existence…
I’m gonna call this au interviews w/ an immortal and it’s an au where in order to become an immortal another immortal must offer up their immortality (which can also be stolen from them).
In this au you have trainee XF and SY who are “inbetweeners”. Basically they’re inbetween life and/or death, neither working directly for the heavens or the underworld/hell.
They usually see which immortals don’t want to be immortals and interview them.
Interview #1 )
The immortal has a mosaic covering their face, but their hair is pulled up into a ponytail and they stand with an almost righteous stance. Beside them is a well-cared for blade, clearly having been with the person for a long time. (Guess who this is lol)
SY: So sir immortal, why are you giving up your immortality? You're one of the peaks of strength, just mentioning your name is enough to make armies cower in fear! Why on earth would you give that up?
Mosaic #1: I've spent my life climbing my way to the top, yet now that I'm here I find it lacking. There's no thrill from overcoming a tough opponent, there's no risk of danger from fighting someone several times stronger than me. Losses have become all but impossible for me.
XF, butting in: Wait, you're a god of war... Wouldn't you want to be undefeated? Is that not a good thinkg for you?
Mosaic #1, the 'war god', lets out a grunt of unidentifiable emotion: A fight can not be called a fight if there's no challenge. Immortality is a blessing as much as it is a curse, what is the point of an everlasting life with no purpose?
SY: So.. You're bored?
Mosaic #1, War God: *Grunt of affirmation*
SY: ...
XF: So you're really going to die because you're too strong?
Mosaic #1, War God: I'm willing to reenter the stream of reincarnation and go through every experience all over again.
XF: ...
SY: ...
XF: So, you're a masochist?
Mosiac #1, War God: Pardon?
SY, who quickly slaps a hand over Xiang Fei's mouth: Nothing, thank you for your time! That'll conclude the interview! We'll get back to you when a suitable candidate makes a request for immortality!
[Interview Cut]
Interview #2)
The immortal once again has a mosiac covering their face, however one is able to make out a moustache from the facial features that aren't censored. His sleeves are wide and airy, probably for concealing various handheld weapons at the same time. In his hair, there's a needle within that seems to be holding his hair up.
XF, who gets to go first because SY went first last time: So, you're an immortal doctor, what reason do you have for giving up your immortality?
Mosaic #2, the 'immortal doctor': People seem to be taking their lives for granted more often since my ascension. Many people often come to worship me with there horrible injuries, most of which they just laugh off with a "The Benevolent Physician has never led us astray, he will guide us with his healing hands."
SY: Ah, so they're exploiting you?
Mosiac #2, The 'benevolent physician': More than that, they're actively throwing themselves into danger because of this odd reliance on me. It's honestly a neverending struggle to keep them alive. I'd like to start over, if I leave them for a few years they'll eventually relearn how importsnt their lives are.
SY: Wait, so you're just going to disappear and leave them to die?
XF: This sounds not very benevolent, actually
Mosiac #2, the 'morally grey(?) physician': Some things must be learned the hard way?
XF: Isn't saving lives,, like,,, your thing?
Mosaic #2, definitely morally grey physician: I can't cure stupidity, much less stupidity that's being passed down as generational knowledge.
SY: ... Aaand okay wow, thank you for your time.. I always assumed healing gods had it easy
XF: So did I, but this gives me writing material so I'm not complaining
SY: You're scum dude.. Anyways, thank you for the interview, we'll let you know when there's a suitable candidate for immortality appears and makes a request!
Mosiac #2: (Mild confusion)
[Interview Cut]
(more interviews to eventually come muehehe.. could you guess who the first two mosaics were? :3)










