#caleb analysis

OHHH MY GOD THEY DIDN’T CENSOR THE ENGLISH VERSION THIS TIME???

My prayer’s have been fucking received. The erasure of nuance has at least temporarily been put on pause.

I seriously am utterly fascinated by their original trope (in fiction!!) because there’s so much nuance to their dynamic & feelings. MC obviously always loved Caleb before they were adopted together, but because they were labeled “brother and sister” at such a young age, she didn’t know that her strong feelings for Caleb were not just that of a possessive, protective, sibling — and of course Caleb felt trapped underneath the Gege title, but he wouldn’t ever hurt her or force her to do anything she didn’t want. He always prioritized her wellbeing. He would’ve yearned and died without being with her if that’s what made her happiest. Anyway it’s so so so cool. Yes there’s pseudoincest which is so taboo, but it’s fascinating to both take in/imagine, and to clinically explore, their love and their relationship — how they feel because of the situation they’re in, what they think, how they act… They were just two kids who were deeply attached to one another and got put in a messy situation (adopted together.) Two kids who chose one another instantaneously and just so happened to click personality wise as well as giving the other what was so desperately needed: love, belonging, safety…

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Dearest followers, I regret to inform you that I am utterly unwell. I apologize in advance because I am OBSESSED with this banner. I am OBSESSED with herbalist Caleb, and you will absolutely be seeing me simp over this for weeks.

HOWEVER. Before I fully derail into pure, unfiltered simping over how insanely well-written this story is (like why the FUQ Infold insists on putting Caleb through emotional devastation every single time yes I cried), I need to talk about something

I did some research. It’s not complete, but it’s a start for the lore and symbolism nerds. So no, this is not your average simp post. This is peak maps-being-maps behavior: definitely unhinged… a tad overthought and aggressively nerdy.

And also, I’m not going to be talking about the blood of Christ or other Christian references. If that’s what you’re looking for, respectfully, go elsewhere. I’m gonna be talking about daoism and traditional Chinese medicine because yes I HAVE BEEN TO THE MINES

With that being said: We need to talk about the references ples

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Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and why this writing is eating so hard

There’s a storm inside him. Not just from what he’s lived through, but from what he feels: love, loyalty, fear, guilt, longing. All at once, leaking into every word, every dropped voice, every unguarded moment.

He flirts like a firework - bright and reckless. He teases like he doesn’t know how to stop, like pausing too long might let the silence swallow him whole. He’ll make you laugh, then suddenly say something so intimate and achingly honest it catches in your chest like an unexpected sob. That’s the pattern: the mask and the man behind it, both real, both afraid.

Caleb is the kind of person who takes bullets and calls them scratches, who kisses you like the world is ending while pretending he doesn’t need comfort after. He considers you his whole world and gives you everything - will always find his way back to you, would burn everything else but put your safety first. He knows every part of you: the good things, the fears, the insecurities, the breakdowns. He’s seen you at your worst countless times and loves you more for it, never less.

He carries his own trauma without condemning anyone else’s - he knows that weight. He shows love with his whole being: the utter adoration in his voice and eyes, the way he cooks for you, holds you when you’re trembling. Because if anything is clear about Caleb, it’s that he wants to take care of you.

He will guide you through every storm - both literally and figuratively - while simultaneously fighting against his own.

But he isn’t perfect. He wants to be needed, wants to protect, but doesn’t know how to be soft without falling apart. When he breaks - and he does - it’s intense. Sometimes he panics, gets possessive - because there’s barely anything left of his memories to hold him steady. He feels helpless and needs to do something to avoid losing himself completely. But when he sees your reaction, he stops. He listens. Your voice soothes him. He wants to grow, to get better - for you and with you.

He feels older than his years because his priority was never fun for its own sake, but enjoying life with you. The ruthless colonel who doesn’t flinch at death, who interrogates without hesitation, who takes dangerous missions with only one thought: “Please let me return to her one last time.” Yet inside him lives a younger Caleb who draws out syllables even today - “All righty” and “Buut” and “Becauuse” - because he loves the indignation on your face and how it reminds him there’s still humanity left in him.

When he finally allows himself to be vulnerable, the composure crumbles. He stumbles, gets lost, sometimes cries. His voice cracks, his body trembles. That’s when he becomes the Caleb with deeply rooted trauma instead of the one who learned to build a life despite what will never fully heal. He wants to be known, understood, held even while breaking. But he’s terrified of what happens when someone really sees him - not the charm or bravado, but the boy who once drowned in grief and clawed his way back into someone worth loving.

With you, though, his mind goes quiet. Caleb doesn’t just love you - he needs you like the last breath he’ll ever be allowed to take. He takes care of you but also craves you with everything he is.

And somehow, he’s still your sun. Your anchor. Your impossible, untameable, golden mess of a man who makes the world brighter even when he’s breaking.

This has been weighing on my mind for the longest time since Caleb's release and both EN & CN/KR/JP troupes.

Rather than to say one is sanitised than the other, I'm gonna offer an olive branch that bridges the gap for both. Now, as we all know, language is hard. Transcribing one language with all its cultural nuances is hard. Everyone says "gege-meimei" is just a degree of honourifics and all of that to sanitise their relationship. Fair enough, that's your peace and I will respect it. But as I've read from the folks who l follow CN/JP/KR troupe, it is as it is implied.

However.

I feel that it's much more deeper than that. Far more than what is seen in the surface. Remember Adam & Eve? Eve was created from the rib of Adam. Or ever the Chinese myth of Fuxi and Nuwa where Calebmc dynamic was really inspired from? Twins who intertwined and created the world. The interconnective dynamic of Calebmc actually falls closer to the Aristotle theory of soul mates. Aristotle believed that humanity was once creatures who walked on 4 legs until the gods decided to slice us into halves, creating us, the bipede creatures that we are. And upon losing our other halves, we continue to sought after our lost halves, yearning and desiring to unify and become whole once more.

Now what does this mean for Calebmc? Far more than that surface level of incest troupes, far more than the childhood friend troupes, Calebmc are creatures of one heart, one star, one soul that had been born into 2 beings. The toxic, possessive, taboo dynamics between them; the degree of intimacy that makes them far more co-dependant of each other to the point they really cannot separate themselves from the other. It's supposed to be uncomfortable. It's supposed to be everything that is simultaneously intimate and forbidden. Far more than surface-level pseudo-incest understanding, these two are souls that were one that was cut off and forced to become 2. The pseudo-sibling aspect is supposed to signify how much they want to tie each other together that they want to be each other's everything. Beyond taboo, their love is supposed to be this cosmic level of romance.

Let me cross-reference their dynamic to Catherine and Heathcliff of Wuthering Heights. 2 children who grew up together, attached themselves to each other. Their interconnectiveness is laced with equal parts toxic, possessive and taboo. Catherine saw Heathcliff as her twin flame, her other half; her mirror. And it is that same possessive, toxic dynamic was why the misery spread to the next generation (an aspect that many adaptations failed to address).

Here comes the tricky part where I'm coming back to my point about language.

As everyone knows, there is no equivalent definition to the CN troupe in English language. Not without hoops, leaps and bounds of texts that no translator or reader wants to subject to themselves. Childhood friends was their closest route, but equally sanitizing. It would have been the better route to have dubbed them as step-siblings despite the implication of their hazy past before they were adopted by their grandmother. But alas, even that is a difficult thing to put forward without people screwing their heads around 360° at the idea of it.

At the end of the day, always remember that all of this is fiction. I relent, this is fiction. Not some guideline or some sort of Orwellian piece that people would use as a handbook. Morals are yours to keep, but no one deserves to be broken for the sake of fictional characters. Any further insistence on either side and pressing the issue is not your right to define. Death of the author exists as a means of separating authorial intent over a piece of text. Which means fiction like Love and deepspace are technically free of you to interpret the text as you wish. But do so with candid grace and respect to those who see things differently.

Caleb’s dog-tag necklace says, “When U Come Back” - with no name attached, no phone number. It wasn’t just foreshadowing for the storyline & Caleb’s revival; There’s an unspoken, almost possessive promise, a knowing MC has, that Caleb will always find his way back to her, returning like a dog to its owner. No return address needed. Can you imagine having that unbreakable bond…? // And they both filled up each others emotional cups for so, so long: Caleb has lived his life with such extreme mental health issues, and holds onto the warmth of his memories with MC because it’s all he has left living for. She is the light in his dark world. She is the only place he belongs, the only place he feels happy within. (If you haven’t read his anecdote, go read it! The writing was superb, and you really get a better understanding of his character.) And I genuinely can’t imagine how hard it was & is for Caleb. It’s so understandable that he’d hold onto his anchor so tightly. Also because of what he witnessed (her dying over & over again at the hands of Ever), MC’s pain is his pain. He can’t stand the thought of her being hurt in any way— it feels like a direct attack against this person he loves, like extreme threat to his own nervous system because of the paranoia and fear that she can die easily— so he’s fiercely, thoroughly, obsessively protective over her. He had to be the one to save her because nobody else would; As kids, he saw all her needs, and gave her everything he could give— even amidst his own pain, she was his priority. And MC needed him as a kid, she needed a protector & a rock— somebody who would save her from it all, because she was just a kid. Caleb loved her so much, and she felt it. She got to have a safe place in him. They played together, and held onto each other through the darkness that they both faced. They know they can trust each other to be there when they’re falling. But it gets complicated as they grow older, because they need each other in different ways, and their dynamic is changing. Caleb needs reassurance that he is keeping her fully safe (if he doesn’t, who will? She could die!), but MC wants to protect herself now, and she wants the freedom to live for herself. Caleb also hides a lot of his pain & his thought processes, which used to work in the past. In order for him to protect her and keep her happy, he hid things from her, like his own sadness. But that’s an issue now that they’re on more level ground, because they’re both adults, and like anyone else, MC wants communication and a say in things. Yet— despite it all— they’re still bonded in a way like no other, which is why MC is deeply confused and hurt by the break in trust when Caleb makes & enforces certain decisions for her. …I am so freaking excited to see what happens next in the main story… will MC be as mutually obsessive and protective over Caleb, now that she knows he’s also the one in danger?

Knowing a bit about trauma (as a person with trauma, who has been in therapy, and currently studies psychology), I’m absolutely vibrating with excitement re: MC getting her childhood memories of Ever back.

Caleb and MC’s current dynamic is incredibly interesting because they are on different pages. They’re no longer in the sweet limbo of Summer, nor are they in that era of stability they had in young adulthood. Things have shifted, they are shifting still, and now more than ever it is clear that Caleb is stuck in the past. He’s consumed by his fears and his pain. MC, on the other hand, is much less so stuck in the past, as she doesn’t have her childhood memories— leading to Caleb and MC clashing over Caleb’s protectiveness in the Main Story. (Right now, I think their dynamic will change, but in the distant future.)

Caleb just can’t see past the hurt child that MC was, the one in need of his constant, vigilant protection. Caleb believes, with his whole body and mind, that if he isn’t doing everything to neutralize every threat— that the one he loves will die. If you developed the eye for it, it’s so obvious, the depth of his trauma— it colours everything he is, everything he does, everything he feels, everything he thinks. “Everyone who wants to hurt you should just— disappear.” - Homecoming Wings // “If I don’t protect you— who will? Never mind… you wouldn’t understand.” - Ch. 04

Caleb’s traumatized because he remembers.

Once MC remembers what happened to her, her world is going to break apart and shatter. It’s going to be horrible, painful, we’re going to see the effects of trauma & how it changes a person— she will be a changed person— and I think that she’s going to need Caleb more than ever before. The question is— will Caleb be there when that happens? Or will Ever have completely taken over? I cannot WAIT to see how this plays out.

(Don’t even get me started on the complexity of his mental health issues, his pain, and the voracious need he has for her, the warmth their share when they’re together… Anyone who feels so alone and hurt without their anchor can likely understand Caleb’s feelings & behaviors, but that’s for another time.)

hearts in my eyes because I loooove seeing a traumatized man who has zero identity outside of the ONE good thing/person he ever knew, as he has only ever lived in a harsh and small world. his exposure and growth has been severely limited due to the lack of safety, once just a small boy who was unable to grow into a person that has their own expanded experiences, relationships, a sense of self that only manifests when a person is outside of survival mode.

all he knows is that one thing or person he loves is the only good thing he’s ever known. everything else is darkness, suffering, painful. thus, he clings to that because it’s his one tether to warmth and belonging. it’s the only thing worth living for, because it’s all he has ever felt positive feelings from.