I'm still trying to piece together 2007 through 2011 for this memoir I'm writing. Those are the years I stopped journaling, and I've just now discovered why: I was finally trying to move on from my broken marriage and had started chatting on dating sites and trying out new relationships. 😕 Today I found notebooks and printouts full of online and text conversations from that time period. I obviously stopped journaling because I was doing all that other writing. This discovery has left me feeling sad and anxious. I feel on the verge of a panic attack. Scattered throughout those writings are bits of our family's story, and things here and there that I shared about what was happening with Caety's illness and life. But I'll have to slog through a lot of nonsense to find the stuff that matters. I'm trying to remind myself that there was some value in those connections - especially two men who were kind and helpful to me and my children for a time while we dated. One of them Caety even wished could've been her step-father. And the other one helped her through her fear of dying during her final days. But my heart is still pounding with anxiety in this moment. 💔 . #Caety #amwriting #writerslife #writingcommunity #writinglife #writerscommunity #writing #memoir #writersofinstagram #journaling #grief #childloss #cysticfibrosis #motherhood #journals #tinkerbell #harrypotter #dating #onlinedating #divorce #brokenhome #brokenheart #anxiety #panicattack #relationships #breathe #bepresent #openyourheart
