(Tap to listen.) Kim left me this voicemail on February 13, 2014, and it is one of the only recordings of her voice that I have. Over the past two years, I've listened to this more times than I count, and it still makes my chest ache and my eyes flow with tears. I'm not sure it will ever stop doing that. But it also makes my heart happy in a way that is difficult to articulate, precisely because this brand of happiness is inextricably mingled with a depth of longing so intense it constantly threatens to overwhelm the good feelings all together. But still, this kind of happiness persists. It is happiness at just simply hearing my sister's voice again-- telling me she loves me, asking me to be her Valentine (which I will be, forever). And perhaps the ultimate saving grace in this voicemail-- the thing that pulls me back from the depths of sadness and longing every time-- is that Kim can clearly be heard chewing throughout the entire message, lol. Just a mouth full of something yummy while talking to me, and not a care in the world. It's so Kim, and it makes me laugh. She always made me laugh, and I'm so grateful that she still does. So today, I wanted to share this. I couldn't bring myself to share it last year-- my first Valentine's Day without her. Not really because it was too painful (though it was), but because I wanted to keep this message all for myself. I wanted it to be just ours. But truthfully, it is ours, no matter who hears it. Our love will always be just ours. But I wanted to share it now because I wanted you all to hear her voice. I wanted you to know what she sounded like in all her sweetness, with a mouth full of a cookie, or brownie, or whatever she couldn't put down long enough to leave me a voicemail. I wanted to share her voice because her voice keeps her alive. And, most of all, I wanted to share her voice this year because I know I'm not the only one who misses it. So this is a little Valentine's Day gift to all you out there who knew and loved (and still love) Kim. Here is her voice. Know that she loved you, too. <3 I love you, Kimmy, my darling Valentine. Forever. More than anyone. #sisters #ValentinesDay #siblingloss #grief #love