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I had a hydrodistention procedure today, and it went all kinds of bad. Between major gaslighting, medical neglect, and just non-compassionate people who shouldn’t be in their chosen career until they have better bedside manner.
If a man came in with me today (there was a mix-up, but my bf was gonna come as he does), I likely would’ve been treated 10x better because men get treated with respect and women get gaslit in medical scenarios more often than men.
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A smile or a hug from you
What I would give to see you again
I carry on without a piece of me
Broken and rebuilt is how I describe me
You are forever with me
Because of you
I am going to graduate school in the next year. I am getting a degree in counseling with a specialized certificate in grief. I need to help others to keep from sinking into anger or sadness.
I wouldn’t have even considered this career path without your death, but I think it’s important for me and you. You were in the military, fighting for something you believed in. I had never had that kind of call and then when you first left my pain was too loud to hear the call. But over the past year what has started as a whisper has become a battle cry that I have to listen to.
It is the first time I’ve felt like I am really truly on the correct path. Don’t get me wrong, I’d take having you back over my own calling. But since you insist on staying away I might as well be doing something to help others.
I just wanted you to know.
Love and miss you
Cate
(Tap to listen.) Kim left me this voicemail on February 13, 2014, and it is one of the only recordings of her voice that I have. Over the past two years, I've listened to this more times than I count, and it still makes my chest ache and my eyes flow with tears. I'm not sure it will ever stop doing that. But it also makes my heart happy in a way that is difficult to articulate, precisely because this brand of happiness is inextricably mingled with a depth of longing so intense it constantly threatens to overwhelm the good feelings all together. But still, this kind of happiness persists. It is happiness at just simply hearing my sister's voice again-- telling me she loves me, asking me to be her Valentine (which I will be, forever). And perhaps the ultimate saving grace in this voicemail-- the thing that pulls me back from the depths of sadness and longing every time-- is that Kim can clearly be heard chewing throughout the entire message, lol. Just a mouth full of something yummy while talking to me, and not a care in the world. It's so Kim, and it makes me laugh. She always made me laugh, and I'm so grateful that she still does. So today, I wanted to share this. I couldn't bring myself to share it last year-- my first Valentine's Day without her. Not really because it was too painful (though it was), but because I wanted to keep this message all for myself. I wanted it to be just ours. But truthfully, it is ours, no matter who hears it. Our love will always be just ours. But I wanted to share it now because I wanted you all to hear her voice. I wanted you to know what she sounded like in all her sweetness, with a mouth full of a cookie, or brownie, or whatever she couldn't put down long enough to leave me a voicemail. I wanted to share her voice because her voice keeps her alive. And, most of all, I wanted to share her voice this year because I know I'm not the only one who misses it. So this is a little Valentine's Day gift to all you out there who knew and loved (and still love) Kim. Here is her voice. Know that she loved you, too. <3 I love you, Kimmy, my darling Valentine. Forever. More than anyone. #sisters #ValentinesDay #siblingloss #grief #love
You’re Gone
You’re permanent resting place
It’s not a apartment or a home
Rather a plot of grass with a headstone
A namesake gone yet a new one born
You suffer alone
just like I did for years on end
You’ll never come home again
I’ll say my goodbyes
And suffer alone
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Hamnet
I watched Chloé Zhao’s Hamnet last week, and it broke me open. While there’s been a lot of criticism about the story manipulating emotion, I felt seen. Grief isn’t often portrayed in such a raw way.
The narrative largely focuses on the mother’s grief and Jessie Buckley deserves all the awards. But the sibling bond is integral to the story. Losing someone who exists in parallel to you, someone who shares your world and rhythm, is unlike any other kind of loss. The pain of continuing to live when your companion has been left behind is both silent and deafening. Every birthday, every milestone, feels like a betrayal.
I watched the film alone in the cinema. By the end, my face was soaking wet. I cried for a full day afterwards. It felt precious, in a way, I felt closer to my brother that night. That raw, open-heartedness is something that, when you’re fully in it, you don’t want to go away.
What did you think?
From Loss to Light: Navigating Grief and Queer Identity with Josh & Sam | More Human More Kind
In this riveting and emotional episode of More Human More Kind, host Heather Hester shares a conversation with Josh Nigler and Sam Wasserman, the creative team behind the new queer grief-focused series What About Me. With unflinching, candid storytelling, Josh and Sam navigate the convergence of sibling loss, queer identity, and family dynamics—celebrating how grief is never linear, usually messy, and intensely personal. They talk about the inspiration for the series, how heartbreak and humor can coexist, and why visibility and representation in queer narratives are more important than ever. This interview is a poignant reminder that grief is not darkness—it's the first light of healing. Whether you're walking through loss or discovering how to be more helpful to a loved one, this episode provides connection, compassion, and a look at what it's like to be human—and kind—along the way.
This article aims to offer guidance on navigating the complex emotions of grief, ways to honor and
