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Okay, uh, fellow people with brains that like to make things difficult for you, has anyone else had a thing where youāre fine and then your brain is just like everything is bad and intolerable, but itās not anxiety? No spike in my heart rate, I am not conciously having a bad/sad/anxious day, nothing set this off, my brain just spun a wheel and suddenly I am experiencing the emotion bad very intensely. Cause I would love to understand what is happening here.Ā
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I have three fic ideas that are like bubbling out of my head butĀ
1) I have many other things to do that Iāve been procrastinating because my brain wonāt let me do them
2) As soon as I sit down to write it I know that Iāll immediately be hit with a wave of executive dysfunction
huh.
http://dollsahoy.tumblr.com/post/165329022620/gothiccharmschool-bleedthewineunholy
i always knewĀ (was always told, which is different)Ā that i was intelligent
but i was always slow, (not intellectually, but practically: which i now know was also part of my brain, so...) everything always took time and work to learn, even the things that were my favourites (foreign languages and art) and that i was āgood atā.
so i guess this is some kind of advantage? because i was homeschooled for the beginning and end parts of elementary school and had to learn how to learn? i only survived a few months in the high school G&T class because of bullying; i donāt think i had a chance to notice we had different learning styles.
i think maybe i always thought everything took that much effort (and that their effort paid off equally) for everybody and that some people just put that kind of time into more things than i did... until i heard that it wasnāt like that for everybody.
:s this is not good *shivers*
i hope we find a solution tomorrow or anything to make it better. right now is very shaky, very very small and claustrophobic inside, and a NEED for depression because we couldnāt function if we had too much energy.
we canāt make a bubble with only two peopleā¦ three is very few, but it worked, it was stable for decades! two is not enough.
oh fuck
so like, a thing ive noticed when im unmedicated is i can listen to songs and theyāll be over in what feels like an instant (its probably me dissociating thru them tbqh)
but when im medicated songs go on forever and im likeĀ āWHEN WILL THIS ENDāĀ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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outside in // inside out
found these gifs I made back in 2015 when I first realised I have visual snow, still like them a lot so thought Iād post āem
me: hey, brain, could you maybe please focus on one thing?
my brain: no. everything at once.
me: ... so, like, could that include the freelance piece I have to turn around this week?
my brain: no. only cute people and bands.
3 days until Iām 18 and oh my god my brain is burning with the wordsĀ āI just wanna be 18 I just wanna be 18 I just wanna be 18 I JUST WANNA BE 18ā³ and itās FUCKING MISERABLE i HATE wating for things, especially smth this big!!!! WHY! --ALSO, why canāt I just enjoy the excitement w/o wanting to smash things and scream??? (((:
