Can't believe I'll never have a name as cool as River Phoenix
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Can't believe I'll never have a name as cool as River Phoenix

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oughh headache…
"cmon aster lets go do tasks x, y and z!"
tasks x, y and z collecting dust in the corner with the rest of the alphabet
i feel like my discipline/executive dysfunction around writing has gotten worse and it upsets and concerns me partially because writing is a form of communication for me & it hurts to not be able to reach out to people in that way as much and partially because it's going to have serious academic repercussions if i'm not able to get a handle on it
like i used to be able to update ongoing fics weekly now it's a struggle to do them monthly... and part of it is being busier than i was when i updated weekly but even when i'm on holidays it's such a struggle for me. and it's not like i don't love it anymore or i don't want to, i do, there's just this barrier between me and the task and it feels higher than it used to be.
and i don't really know what changed so i don't know what to fix... like there's gotta be something but idk if it's a problem of needing to upend my whole life or if i just let the muscle atrophy during a period of not writing much and i haven't done enough to work it out again
having an ex that pressured you to drop a lot of your friends is so fucking miserable bc post breakup you realize how much you miss those friends and how isolated you were bc all your friends were just THEIR friends and you just cant ever fucking get that back

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joel loves tasting you.
it’s as if he’s in it for the pure love of the game. you’re on his tongue like morning dew, his lips glistening from the fresh arousal. you shiver from the sounds he makes, fingers twining harder in his dark hair. your hips buck up on instinct but his grip on your hip and palm on your stomach keep you in place. crying, writhing, reeling - every time he has you like this, there’s no mercy. your pleasure is his pleasure, and he doesn’t care how many times you plead him for more. when you come for the fourth time, his eyes gleam with all the sport of a hunter as he peppers kisses along your inner thigh. in it for the thrill, in it for you.
(on a side note, i see my little drabbles have gained some traction on here, i'm wondering if i should just have my own separate blog? i have actually been writing for years now but never published my work publicly, i wanna write more for other people/characters i'll probably remain loyal to like two or three hashtag devoted lmaoo let me know)
whew, that was a close one. i almost tricked myself into thinking i don’t deserve good things.
why do all my friends have crushes or talking stages or find cool people like honestly id be happy with some romantic flirting with someone i find attractive nevermind a relationship