#bpdfp

I don’t know how to breathe without you. 

I hate that this is how my head works. 

You validate me and for a minute things feel okay. 

But, the minute you disappear, I can’t function. I can’t eat. I can’t move. 

I wish things were easier. 

I want control back. 

I want to be able to prioritise myself and look after myself without you.

I want to be able to do what you do without it feeling this painful.

I have this bad habit of being able to compartmentalise no matter what I may be going through. It means that when you’re not okay I will be there for you even if I feel like shit. 

But you don’t do the same for me. And I know I should be able to understand that everyone works differently and just because I can drop everything for someone else, they may not do the same for me. 

But, I just want someone who will. I just want someone who will drop everything for me and prioritise me and be there for me and hold me through these dark times. 

The darkness is getting darker. I’m not sure I can hold on much longer. 

me: okay...

Heyy Its been a long time since I made a post…that isnt a negativity dump. Last night I had a really hard time controlling my anger over the smallest little thing…really it was simply a video-game not going favorably for me. Looking back at it , it was pretty minuscule. And I kinda just made it worse with stupid thoughts , and then I lashed out and lost myself inside all my anger…

But today I woke up determined to not let it happen again ,for both myself and the people closest to me , so I looked into emotional control. And I decided to leave my findings here ! I hope it helps someone. Feel free to add more findings you got , i’ll do the same as I find more relevant information!

1. New Findings on Emotions in Borderline Personality Disorder

2. Tackling the Emotions in Borderline Personality Disorder

3.  How to control extreme emotions

4. What to do on a bad BPD day

5. Borderline Personality Disorder and Ability to Read Emotions