#blotchedink

Time moves as it should through me and you, if only it would move around me.

Let me stay right here, let me sink deeper and deeper into the quicksand of grief. Let every grain of sand be the bookkeeper of the weight of my pain.

But time moves as it should through me and you, won’t let me stay put, carries me with.

I run along as the surface hardens with every tread. Forward in time I stumble inescapably pulled by invisible thread, indifferent to my hurt.

So time moves as it should through me and you, it has never stood still.

Like a desert welcoming rain, dry earth turned to sinking mud, then cracked scales baked in the sun carrying me forward with every thud of my bare feet.

Has time moved? As it should through me and you, further than I alone ever could relentlessly healing.

29.04.2026

this heart is like a coffin--

only the dead rest inside it now.

dead people, 

forgotten memories,

 dust and dirt,

shriveled roses and faded love letters.

it’s all nailed shut inside this 

heart shaped box.

now there is nothing left to do

but bury it six feet under,

I have always been one with winter,

It's solitude marking my soul.

Its brisk wind my solemn step,

It's crystal frost my heart.

My mood its shade of silver grey,

Less of the day more of the dark.

And all these masks that I wear,

My treacherous snowy paths.

I wonder if there will ever come,

A bloom of color,

A warmth of spring.

And in this wintry existence

How long will it last,

Before its cold again.

I wish

that I believed

in love at first sight

and I wish

that you did

too

And I burn

So much brighter than the stars

and the moon

and the sun

I burn

Leaving those around me

starstruck

and in awe

I burn

because you tried to stifle my fire

but the darkness made my light

shine even more

I burn

and now I share my flames with another

and we are incandescent

and oh,

how I am grateful

that I did not settle

for your weak

and unfaithful

flickering

Late at night

when the stars are out

is when I am loneliest

So many thoughts

become unflitered

So many I love you's

So many truths

Yet I find myself

with no one to listen

and with no one

who cares

How can you crave touch when you've never felt it?