“Imagine the Cybertronian medics screaming and hollering how a human uterus can heal after C-section. The medics will be pestering the nearby humans with this experience.”
This got me thinking back to my favorite trope of ‘humans are space orca/faes.’
The human body is both a resilient and convoluted thing with many perks and drawbacks, and rarely tapped into horrors.
What about the human anatomy and physiology might fascinate, perplex, or even horrify Cybertronians/Cybertronian medics?
This is a list of Things about Humans that Freak Out and/or Fascinate Cybertronians:
Despite the lack of claws, fangs, venom, in-built camouflage, and other bodily tools/musculature advantages that other apex predators upon Earth, humans still managed to become the dominant species across a multitude of environments.
No-alts or monoformers are disparaged upon Cybertron, even before Functionism set its insidious claws into all stages of their societies. Each particular frame is adapted to their function and environment: a convey cannot reach the depths of a submarine, delicate lab equipment cannot withstand the harsh, scorching heats miners are subjected to, and a shuttle, despite being an aerial, cannot match the superior agility of a Seeker. And yet-
Humans had tamed or harmonized with nature. Unlike Cybertron's relatively stable weather phenomenon, Earth is something they have yet to encounter.
Besides the tectonic plates and the massive spread of water, Cybertronian civic engineers would never build on lands prone to hurricanes, tsunamis, floods, mudslides, heavy volcanic activity, and other places where settlements must constantly be rebuilt over and reinforced. It just wasn't done.
Humans are resilient, stubborn creatures that made their homes across vast plains, scorching deserts, wild rainforests, tempermental coastlines, and intense tundras. Empires and kingdoms from nothing but scrapes.
Humans have a delightful, terrifying habit at mimicry. Voices, faces, mannerisms, even environmental noise. Not a record but their own talents.
For the longest time, Cybertronians thought humans were messing with them about the stripes or it was a social faux pass to bring it up. It's completely ridiculous that very obvious patterns on their skin is invisible to human's eyes.
They knew squishies were, well, squishy, but it's still queasy to know that there's a rack for intestines to squirm and squiggle should it be necessary to dig into their cavity. And that there's little need to be careful in placing them back. In fact, human intestines squirm back into their proper place.
Cybertronians understand organ transplants, but blood banks are different beasts. They're familiar with blood transfusions but not the associated blood group systems. All Cybertronians are capable to donating Energon to one another. The only exceptions would be newsparks and compromised sparklings as they need infusions from their creators or spark-lineage. It's terrifying how the wrong 'blood' can kill a human. Medics are deeply fascinated by such a complex system. Especially by 'golden blood.'
Speaking of newsparks and sparklings, it deeply bothers Cybertronians that an average human carriage is the equivalent of a Cybertronian extremely high-risk carriage. And that some humans go through it alone!
Many medics were frankly horrified that effective anesthetics were introduced recently to the field. Less than two vorns ago! Before that, speed and brute force were the prized traits of surgeons.
So many are confused by human consumption. It seems like everything is poisonous or toxic unless prepared a certain way. There are a variety of ways to be right and wrong. Oh, and diehard camps on specific recipes and dishes.
Cybertronians constantly question the stranger preparations because it meant that one human had the terrible idea to do it. They either succeeded or other humans took up their work.
Spiciness is a concept that doesn't exist on Cybertron. They understand flavors, but 'spicy' food? Why the hell they want to consume something that causes pain?!
It was common consensus among the Cybertronians that human hearts were the equivalent of sparks... until they found out about heart transplants and portable artificial hearts. (It drives Cybertronians nuts that humans don't truly know where their own soul is. The age old philosophical question is a reality on Cybertron. And it doesn't help that humans have EM fields! So they must a have a spark equivalent! Right? Right?!)
Cybertronians are perplexed by how stubbornly resilient yet ridiculously fragile the human body can be. There are humans able to survive without vital organs! Even half a brain! Bodies that are capable of withstanding immense trauma, the equivalent of a gestational chamber that can somehow heal, far more flexible than the average mecha, and go wrestle a prehistoric creature. And yet, there are humans that can sneeze so hard they break a rib, pull a muscle from getting out of bed, and die from the bite of a tiny insect or a rusty nail.
Humans are like the planet they hail from. Earth is complex web of checks and balances. Too much will kill just as too little. And just complete weirdness in general. And it doesn't help that some humans get so used to behaviors and conditions in their daily lives that they don't realize it's an actual Concerning Issue. Then the equally terrifying half on how really debilitating conditions in Cybertronian frame isn't as intense or troublesome in a human body. (Earth-stationed 'bots have seminars and help groups about this.)
Amazes them just how much humans need to sleep.
It's deeply worrisome how much toxin is incorporated into their foods and medical treatment. No really. It's mind-boggling how humanity managed to survive to their current stage with their love affair at turning poisonous and venomous fauna into edibles and medicine. Almost as anxiety-inducing as the deeply ingrained habit to turn predators into pets.
Humans have the equivalent of Cybonic plague that came naturally. They have descendants with genetic markers to ward it off as well as current treatment for it. For some reason, rodents haven't been exterminated. In fact, rodents are a popular pet.
There's a ridiculous amount of parasites on Earth, and somehow humans managed to deal with it. Some 'bots joke about throwing scraplets at them, but considering how humans enjoy cute things and the track record with domestication...
