#bipolarthoughts

I'm not sleeping tonight, I'm trying to see if I can self-induce a manic episode, I reaaaally need to fell something right now

I've been locked in my room crying for almost four days and my mum came ONCE to see how I was doing and it was only because I asked her to

I have this thing where I know the best thing for me right now may be to get hospitalised but I can't for any reason at all miss the 2nd season of young royals, so I'll just have to wait it out I guess

Should I pull an allnigther to trigger a hypomanic episode to take me the fuckboutvof this depressive one? Say yes

I also told my so called best friend about this problem that I have with time perception and that I can't control it and she said, and I quote "as a virgo that makes me mad" like, that's so messed up, I mean, when someone tells you about a serious problem that they have you don't make a fucking zodiac joke.

Me to my psychiatrist: yeah no, I feel ok, I'm good. well other than the fact that yesterday I fell asleep crying cause like every single sound no matter how small was like amplified and I wanted to shove something on my ears to stop the pain that I was feeling. But, overall pretty good.