#feeling bad

On behalf of all transmen that saw the evident transmasculine coding in Jax's character and everything that he was going through; related WHOLE HEARTEDLY to his TRANS MALE experience; we are ALLOWED TO BE UPSET ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY MADE HIM INTO A TRANSWOMAN.

I personally feel shattered, genuinely heartbroken and upset to the point of heart palpitations because of how strongly I related to Jax and prayed and hoped that he would be canonized as a transman—ANYONE that brings up "transfemme erasure" or calls me transmysoginistic will be blocked on sight because I do not need that sort of negativity in my already negative life.

The hope of Jax being a transman, a character that I could wholeheartedly claim as my own, being ripped away from me was the worst pain I have felt since my birth parents told me that they do not want me back on the 12th of June, right after my father manhandled and physically abused me for the first time since I was 13 years old, just a couple of weeks before my birthday. Yes I'm saying that to make people feel like shit because it should. So many more transmen like me probably feel the same but fear speaking on it lest the Baedel Groomers Unit comes for them spamming them to detransition.

Transwomen genuinely have EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD OF SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE INTERNET. ON THE INTERNET, AND SOCIAL MEDIA, listen close BC they didn't hear the first time I posted this this is an edit, ON SOOOOCCIIIAAALLLL MEDIIAAAAAA AND THE INTERNEEETTTTT.

Transmen are so ostracized and unheard of that until I was in HIGHSCHOOL I did not even know that you could transition from female to male, along with so many more of my transmale friends and partners.

THIS IS NOT A TRANSWOMAN HATE POST. ANY TRANSPHOBIA WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED AND DELETED.

I am just tired of being erased, and with everybody around me acting like I have everything just because I "was born female". FUCK YOU. Literally perpetuating the patriarchy, a lot of trans women ABUSE the fact that they were born male in order to intimidate transmen with intimate trauma in order to groom and correctively rape them into being girls because "being a man is a prison" "why would anyone want to be a man"

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK YOU? WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE A WOMAN WHEN ALL WOMEN INCLUDING TRANSWOMEN IN MY LIFE HAVE BEEN GENUINELY EVIL PEOPLE?

See how me bringing that up doesn't fucking help either case?? BECAUSE THERE ARE EVIL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE. CIS HET PEOPLE ARE NOT OUR ONLY ENEMIES.

THERE ARE RATS IN THE CROWD.

When befriending anyone of any race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, genuinely WHATEVER THE FUCK you do not simply give them full unbridled trust just because they're like you—are you all dumb??

This post makes no sense because I have Autism and my hyper fixation and coping-strategy of 4 months has been bastardised after I have genuinely spent money on merchandise which I never fucking do because I'm below the poverty line and mentally ill and an addict but this genuinely made me and my fiancé sob this morning. I currently have no idea who I am, or what I'm supposed to DO which I why I am making this post.

I just want everyone that's also upset to know that you're not evil, wrong or trans-mysoginistic just because you saw the transmasculine coding in Jax's story and "projected onto him". If anything, they should not have canonized him as trans PERIOD if they knew there was even a possibility of making people turn away from their show.

I have not watched Episode 9 nor do I think I will be able to for at least a year. But it's incredibly hard not to get fucking spoiled by the sudden amount of ridiculously fetishized art of Trans Feminine Jax.

Another reason as to why I am making this post is to let everyone know that I WILL be making transmasculine Jax art and he will be my mascot, seeing as that seems like the only appropriate way of coping to me right now. And I do not care about backlash, criticism or whatever the internet decides to throw at me. Hell it might even be nothing, and making this post is just making as ass of myself, but I wouldn't know because I'm an extremely paranoid and borderline individual.

I am simply hurt by transfem Jax. YES it's fucking stupid YES it's dumb YES it's retarded but I AM ALLOWED TO EXPRESS FEELINGS AND FEARS. FEARS WHICH A LOT OF THE TRANSWOMEN IN MY LIFE HAVE GIVEN ME EXCLUDING ONE. I AM AWARE THAT MOST TRANS WOMEN ARE NORMAL PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT I HAVE INTERACTED WITH PEOPLE BEFORE.