#bammywrites

(High chance it’s good cologne instead of perfume.)

Screaming crying throwing up every time

It’s promo shoot day, Jeff insists that you being the only girl and the “eye candy” do your portion of the shoot in 50s pinup fashion. You get dressed and make your way to the shoot touching up your makeup as you wait for your turn, noticing a certain boys eyes glued to you. You smile making your way to Steveo and twirl showing the full outfit surprisingly keeping pretty good balance in the heels, “like what you see?” He blushes and stammers, “I um- it’s just… I’m not used to seeing you dressed up. Or seeing this much of you I guess” His response makes you giggle as Jeff call you over. “Well Jeff if your goal was to rile up the masses with this I’d say it’s gonna work.” You motion towards Steveo who’s still blushing but now sitting in a chair with his hoodie in his lap. You pose for the photographer for at least half an hour with different props and angles noticing a few of the boys are watching but none are as focused as Steveo. After you finish up the shoot you take off the heels and return back to the boys behind the camera. Bam and Dave scattering as Ryan gets called for his turn and Johnny yells, “would you losers stop perving after my sister!” From his spot next to Jeff. “Hey wanna get out of here and get some food?” You slip a tee shirt on over the skimpy outfit and slip on converse to replace the heels before looking at Steveo. His eyes widen, “Me? Like a date?” You shrug gathering your things and put on your sunglasses, “sure like a date.” He jumps up following you, “Hell yeah dude let’s go!”

The next day the crew arrives at the house and everyone is setting up and getting ready. You had already gotten dressed for the day, A black bikini top with the jackass logo on it and short black shorts to match. You touch up your makeup and hair in the mirror then head outside. Pontius bounces up full of energy wearing a full cheetah print bikini with matching bunny ears, “Hey if there's time could you braid my hair in two fishtail braids it's fucking hot.” You nod and sit down on one of the pool chairs Jeff had brought for the bit, “Pigtails?” He settles on the ground between your feet smiling, “You know me so well.” Despite how long his hair is you make quick work of the task and finish them just as Jeff gathers everyone up for filming, “Okay so here's the paintball guns I'll let you two figure out how you wanna introduce the bit but we've settled on Pool of Pain for the name.” he runs to his director's chair and sits down. Pontius strikes a “sexy” pose as Spike starts filming, “Hi I'm Bunny the lifeguard and I'm here with my friend and the true eye candy of jackass y/n and she's helping me on lifeguard duty today at the pool.”You look over your sunglasses at the camera and smile, “This is the Pool of Pain and trust me there's gonna be a lot of it.” You turn as the camera pans to the other boys and nail Steveo right in the leg with a brightly colored paintball. One by one they drop into the pool narrowly avoiding each other at first but then quickly beginning to collide as they try to avoid the paintballs. Ryan is the first to bail scrambling out of the pool tossing the battered-up skateboard he probably borrowed from Bam to the side, “All right I'm out!” You crack up at the sight, “Come on Ry can't take the heat?” He flips you off and lays in the grass. Soon the others follow suit one by one crawling out of the empty pool with various bruises and scrapes splattered with neon paint. Steveo gets close to the camera wiping his face with his shirt, “That fucking sucked dude.” Jeff giggling behind the monitors calls it a wrap. Adjusting your top you glance at your partner in crime for the day, “Ya know if you take away the paintballs it looked pretty fun.” Tony walks by and puts his helmet on your head, “Go skate if you want.” You make a face and set the sweaty helmet to the side before picking up Bam and Steveo's discarded boards, “care to join the party Pontus?” He grins and takes off his bunny ears, “hell yeah!”

Helping your brother with big brother shoots has become your norm, Hell he made you help with the self defense thing that’s gained him so much traction but now he’s insisting you help him with a shoot for a friend of his. “Pj why is it than you and Jeff stick me on every project you’re working on?” He shrugs behind the wheel of the car, “Aw come on you’re the best at what you do.” You roll your eyes at him, “the best at taking pictures of idiots?” he cracks a smile and glances at you, “exactly!” You won’t admit it but he’s right, somehow you always get the best shots and it is honestly pretty fun at times. You sigh as the car comes to a stop and he grins at you, “alright baby sis let’s get this show on the road!” You climb out of the car with your camera bag, “let’s do this.” You follow your brother and round a corner to see the guy you’re filming for the day. He extends his hand smelling faintly of weed and smiles obviously eyeing you up, “hey dude I’m Steveo.” You smile and shake his hand. He’s kinda cute but you follow him and your brother over to where Jeff is sitting. They lay out the plans for the promo shoot for the upcoming jackass movie, steveo breathing fire mostly and the finale him lighting his hair on fire and doing a back flip. “You sure that sounds kinda sketchy?” He smiles his cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, “don’t worry doll I’m a professional.” You shrug and get your camera ready. He starts and you take as many pictures as you can, trying your best to accurately capture the chaos. After you finish up he sprints to you and leans over your shoulder as you flip through all the pictures. “These are insane you’re really good at this. Jeff we gotta keep her around.” You smile at the praise, “flattery will get you a long way dude.” He gives Johnny a mischievous grin, “once we wrap up here can I buy you a drink?” You glance at your seething brother and smile, “you know what that sounds great.”