#jackass headcanons

Knoxville x reader secretly dating HCs

(tried to keep it g/n :) )

you’d had a bit of a thing going with johnny since you got in jackass, back in season 2 of the show. it wasnt something the others noticed, it wasnt something either of you *wanted* others to notice.

he would double down on you most of the time, give you stunts that could break bones and pranks that could probably get you arrested if you werent careful. it was all for show, of course. going easy on any of the crew was out of the norm for him.

he would slip small acts of affection throughout the bruises and aches where he could - grabbing a beer for you before you even knew there was a new case there, nodding for you to join him for a smoke break outside the hotel room where he could sneak a kiss around the corner, letting his hands rest a few seconds longer when everyones laughing after you bust your ass in a stunt.

if youre masc, its ten times easier to keep it undercover. theyd just assume you and johnny we’re closer than he was with others. a shared hotel room (or bed) when filming abroad wasnt strange to them.

if youre fem, it’d be a fight to keep it hidden. the jokes already fly from day one with a lot of them, and johnny would often have to ignore you when the others were around aswell as you having to keep it low-key around him.

there was suspicions, obviously. on more than one occasion when everyone was shit faced and coked out of it, you and johnny made out. all you could do to try cover it up was to say a loud “whos next?!” to play it off as a joke.

if it had gone on for years, eventually everyone would kinda be clued in. theyd never say anything, not until one of you said it first, but the jokes would die down and theyd keep their assumptions to themselves.

if it was short lived, only a few months, maybe a year or two before dying off, the others wouldnt say anything. theyd assume something happened based off of how you two went from almost inseparable to barely looking at eachother, but it wouldnt be until years later and tensions left that they would mention it.

“so, what was with you and PJ back then?”

the question hung for a moment in the car, chris beside you driving and smoking a joint with it dangling from his fingers at the window.

“i mean… we had a thing for a bit, but we had this like, crazy blow up one night. just kinda stopped after that.”

it had been nearly 7 years ago that the fight happened, the tension was gone now and you’d gotten over the heartbreak and pain of it all.

“did you guys know about us?”

“it was hard to miss after a while. you guys were never apart and then wouldnt be in the same room. we knew, we werent gonna say it, but, y’know.”

you hummed, enough said.

“do you think you guys would ever pick back up where you left off or?”

hi guys first post in like two years kinda nervous

please lmk if you enjoyed and if you have any requests feel free to send them in!!!

angsty headcanons - jackass cast edition!

johnny knoxville

— he never raises his voice at you. ever. that’s the thing that he was taught during his early years, so even if the tension reaches core-of-the-earth level, he won’t go above the normal conversation tone. 

— when he’s worried or anxious during an argument, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he slides them through his hair or touches his face. it’s an involuntary reflex, sending you a clear signal that a lot of unspoken thoughts are going through his mind.

— he doesn’t like to argue while driving, so if you ever start to fight about something while sitting in the car, he will drive to the nearest stop to talk about it and be able to catch eye contact.

— he might seem careless and irresponsible sometimes, but this guy has a memory like one of the eldest elephants. if some guy around you gives him a weird feeling, he won’t forget his face, even if it happened a few years ago. he definitely won’t stop being vigilant about him, until he finally catches what’s wrong with him (this man has intuition for days).

chris pontius

— he’s not the type to dwell on arguments or past wrongs of other people. chris does his best to get his mind off of things that bring him down, although from time to time you try to help him face his problems in a more conscious, intentional way. there’s a long road in front of you two, but you have the motivation to take it.

— when he’s angry or upset, he has a habit of laughing nervously. he hates it, thinking that it makes him look unserious, but it’s one of the parts of him that you simply adore.

— you don’t argue very often, but when it finally happens, both of you spill everything out, reminiscing about every other little thing that happened between this fight and the last. it’s not the healthiest way to settle things, but they’re one of the few moments when he actually talks about what makes him hurt.

— when he’s stressed, he starts to fidget with anything that he gets his hands on. car keys, necklaces, phone chargers, even random pieces of string that he finds in his pocket – it’s all free game when he can’t calm his racing thoughts. 

bam margera

— bam often feels guilty after starting a fight with you. he tries to make it up to you somehow, buying you a new piece of jewelry or a bottle of perfume that he thinks you might like. he says that it was just a gift without any particular occasion, but you just know that his guilt was eating him alive.

— he doesn’t do silent treatment – not that he didn’t try to do it in the past. now after a few hours of silence, his overthinking gets the best of him, and you get texts like are we ok? or hii:) dinner on me later? and sometimes it’s even the wanna come over and play tony hawk pro skater??

— sometimes when you argue, and he doesn’t know what to say, stumbling over his words, he’ll just look away, say man, you know what… with a defeated voice and sigh, thinking quickly about how not to fuck it up.

— this guy can get petty. and i mean mean girls level petty. when he’s angry at someone, he will definitely badmouth about them to you, sending you novel-length texts, detailing their every sin and fuckup, even if it’s something as small as looking at him funny while he was trying to do a new trick. no one has an ear for gossip like this man. 

ryan dunn

— this man is like an open book. you can read his expressions and gestures like a message in familiar language. you always notice when he’s mad or worried about something, even if he tries to deny it – his face says it all. 

— instead of anger, his initial response when fighting with you is sadness. he hates to argue with you, and ryan is self-aware enough to actually see his fault when you point it out to him, so all he can feel then is some depressing mixture of shame and sadness.

— he gesticulates a lot, especially when the chaos and anger gets him riled up. instead of throwing hands after hearing an insult, he just starts to gesticulate, underlining his every point, until he calms down a bit.

So basically they go to a award, and the only girl in the cast has an ideia (and then go my two options)

idea 1: she asks them to give hickeys in her neck as a "collar"

idea 2: she take them with collars (yes, the dog/cat ones)

well, be free to choose what u think that is better or do another thing

OK, so I picked the first one also I’m sorry this took so long. I didn’t realize until before I was actually posting this that I wrote the wrong thing…Anyways hopes you enjoy (also I'm sorry I'm if this is a bit crap I'm way too lazy to edit it but it looks fine to me!)

warnings: light mentions of smut and sex other than that we are all good hope y'all enjoy and as always my INBOX IS OPEN

Johnny Knoxville

He's down instantly, like in a heartbeat he's on you. 

He’ll definitely gives you hickeys but he's polite with them

He definitely goes for the collarbone rather then the neck

Johnny gently sucks light purple bruises on your collar bone, his hands on the back of your head brushing your hair. He pulled away from your neck for a moment to capture your lips with his own before going back to business.

Bam Margera

Hes smug about it

He definitely gives you more than necessary but hey afterall you were the one who asked for a collar

I also feel like if there's any photographers around or Frantz or gee he’ll definitely make them take pictures and/or videos. 

Bam practically had you in his lap as he waved over one of the behind the scene photographers over to the both of you. You couldn't exactly tell who it was due to you being partially buried in bams shoulder. “Get a look at this.” Bam said to the photographer as he ran his finger down the column of your neck sending a shiver down your spine.

Steve-O

Gonna be honest he's probably too busy doing stunts for the paparazzi

However when you ask him to give you hickeys be pro[ared to be pulled into a random corner or bathroom for a quickie

Like bam he's very smug about it but he brushes it off and acts all cool

Steve laughs against your neck as he squeezed your hips with both of his hands. He moves his kisses too behind your ear and then back to your neck; he looks down at your cleavage and then and then looks up at you with a smirk on his face. “Wanna get out of here?”

Ryan Dunn

He's gonna do it but like in between smoking like you know what i mean. 

Also definitely gonna pull your hair a bit to get a better angle of your neck. 

He definitely a bitter too 

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Johnny

-takes you on expensive dates but goofs off the whole time

-lovesss to show you off to literally everyone

-always opens doors for you, hands you stuff, he basically won’t let you do anything for yourself lol

-always watching your back so the other guys don’t pull pranks on you

-is always telling you about the crazy shit they did that day

-calls you sweetheart

Chris

-shy at first

-goofs off way too much esp around the guys, sometimes gets annoying

-once his true self comes out he’s really sweet..even if he still can’t stop stumbling over his words when he tries to talk to you

-like you can visibly see the gears in his head not turning correctly when youre around

-everything he does he says “is this ok?” but the guys make fun of him so he adds in a “(is this ok?) my sexy lady 😏 “

-says yes ma’am

Bam

-flirts by play fighting with you (he always acts like you’ve severely injured him)

-always wants you to watch his new skate tricks

-is always laying on you, or has his hand on you, or is fiddling with your hair or clothes without realizing

-when the other guys make fun of him for kissing you he runs after them and aggressively kisses them

-buys you random clothes just to see you wear them

-calls you babe

Ryan

-nervous giggles around you a lot

-even if he was acting super sweet and ushy gushy 5mins ago if someone walks in he acts normal

-literally won’t let you out of his sight on set

-everyone finds you both off in a corner somewhere not participating and just watching everyone else and talking

-gets defensive if the other guys get too close

-calls you honey

Steve-o

-loses track of time wayyy too easily when y’all are together. youre always late

-makes you weird little craft gifts and brings them to you

-dosent wanna tell you about all the gross shit he just did that day so sometimes he acts distant

-loves to cuddle and turns into sleep-o around you a lot

-ALWAYS mentioning you to the other guys at any given chance

-calls you by your name a lot

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fixes your car and changes your tires.

Buys CDs you like to put in his car so you can listen to them on drives.

Burns CDs for you.

Keeps a photo of you on his dashboard and in his wallet!

also has a lighter with a picture of you on it.

lights your cigarettes/blunts

buys you flowers every week AND cuts the stems. (April told him to.)

always is touching you if you’re by him. Hand, thigh, waist, anywhere.

Gives you his jacket if you’re cold. Even if he’s freezing.

If you guys live together the crew is always at your house.

You’ll wake up in the middle of the night and Raab will be drunk in your kitchen.

They all also have keys to your house for “emergencies”

He let’s you decorate the house however you want.

If he’s filming for the crew he always ends up panning the camera to you at some point. (Gets yelled at and teased by everyone for it.)

WILL walk into the bathroom while you’re pissing and just start talking to you.

You haven’t touched a door handle since you started dating him.

Loves when you wear his clothes!!

He’ll show up at your window at like 2am and make you let him in.

I feel like moms love him. Idk.