#jackass forever

Growing up with Bam as your big brother it was...well interesting! And really downright exhausting at times! Yep everything you see on TV is 100% him! Yep the pranks and antics all him! But even with all the pranks and all his craziness he was your big brother and you loved him properly more then anyone! Being only 13 months apart made the 2 of you thick as thieves!

Dont know how it happened but thanks to your brothers antics and success with movies like Jackass and his show Viva la Bam, your last name Margera had become a household name! And that that was fine with you because it meant it opened up doors that otherwise would have stayed closed! Thanks to your last name and Bam of course, Mr.Playboy himself Hugh Hefner had given you a chance and now you were 2004's playmate of the year! You had done countless adds and runway shows and had apeared in a few onscreen roles! Yep thanks to your brothers willingness to stupid and almost kill himself you had the career you always dreamed of!

But the best thing your older brother ever did was introduce you to the love of your life, yep the biggest Jackass of them all the one and only Johnny Knoxville! You and Johnny met 4 years ago in September 2000 when him and Jeff brought a film crew to West Chester to begin the first season on Jackass you were almost 21 and he was 29 and the two of of you were smitten from the first hello and handshake!

But Bam always had a rule when it came to you and after hearing all the guys make comments about how hot you were he was quick to let them know it..."My sister is off limits! I will beat the fucking shit out of any and all of you if you try anything! I fucking mean it assholes I dont play when it comes with Y/n, ill kill for that girl"

The funny thing was he was looking at Steve-O when he set the rule, not even thinking the leader of their group was the one who had heart eyes for you and you for him!

You and Johnny fought it for over 2 years never crossing that line(maybe tap dancing on the time but not crossing it) not just out of respect for Bam but the whole group. But you both found out the heart wants what the heart wants and nothing could stop fate!

February 2003:

You had just shot your cover for your first playboy issue and decided to visit your brother on the set of the stunt he was doing for Jackass number 2!

When you walk onto set you see Johnny and wee man dressed in cop uniforms and the others in prisoner uniforms and you just shake your head "I dont even wanna know" you say getting their attention

"Y/N!" They all yell

You greet everyone with hugs and kisses on the cheek, you save Johnny for last and of course your hug with him lingers longer then the rest of the guys and your kiss was closer to his lips then the center of his cheek "you look beautiful by the way baby" he whispers resting his hands on your hip and making you blush at the nickname "did ol Knoxville make you blush" he tease

"When don't you make me blush"

"I cant wait to see the issue" he winks

"Who says you have to wait for it to come out" you flirt back taking him by surprise

You were in just a pair of jeans shots, one Bam's CKY shirts you had stolen and your pink chuck taylors but your hair and makeup from the shoot its what you called your girly skater look.

"No teasing Miss Margera"

"Just say the word Mr.Knoxville-"

"Oh look whos here" Bam says cutting you off coming up behind you and Johnny making you pull apart and giving you a hug then he looks down and notices your well his shirt "thats my fucking shirt!"

"Yeah I know I took it from the dryer before I left a few weeks ago" you smile

"Well at least youre wearing fucking clothes" he mumbles and kisses your cheek.

"Ummmm for your information I shot my cover today so I wasnt naked today! All the good stuff was covered" you tell him making him roll his eyes

"So Bam how do you feel about your little sister being a centerfold" Chris ask making Bam roll his eyes

"I fucking hate it so bad! And none of you fuckers better buy the issue!" Bam says

"Oh dude I already got like 100 copys pre ordered and like 10 bottles of lotions and tissues ready" Steve-o says sending you a wink "unless I can get a private showing" making you shake your head in amusement.

"Im getting mine blown up and framed" weeman laughs

"Im putting mine in a frame beside my bed" Chris says blowing you a kiss

You roll your eyes and shake your head at their comments knowing they mainly made the comments to get under Bam's skin and it worked everytime! Well Steve-O always meant them he always had a thing for you and he was very vocal about it!

"So what do you say y/n" Steve-O says slinging his arm around your shoulder "you up to give me a live show then I won't need the tissues and lotion"

"You all need to shut the fuck up! Shes off limits!" Bam says raising his voice

"You let them bother you to much Bam, they they only make the comments to get under your skin"

"well it fucking works! f I gave these fuckers the okay they'd all be on you faster then Vito at a buffet! Especially that one!" He points to Steve-O who still has his arm around your shoulder

"Awwww dont worry BamBam" you say in a baby voice giving him the nickname only he lets you use "your buddies couldnt handle me" then remove his arm from your shoulder and patting his cheek

"Oh baby I could handle you, I'd make you fall in love after one night" he flirts

Out of the corner of your eye you see Johnny's jaw twitching making you smile to yourself

"Sorry to break it to Steve-O but I already got my eye on someone" you say cutting your eyes at Johnny who was fighting back a smile

"Who?!" Bam demands going into big brother mode.

"None of your business that's who"

"Y/n Y/m/n"

"Brandon Cole"

You and Bam stand there in a staredown with everyone laughing behind you, before Bam breaks first!

"Whatever dont tell me! so you gonna watch the stunt"

"Yeah but what the hell are you guys doing?" you ask

"Its called electric avenue! and these dumbasses are gonna get hit with 15 tasers and four cattle prods" Johnny explains with a big smile on his face

"How are you not all not dead!?"

Bam just rolls his eyes "cuz we're fucking awesome little sis! You coming to watch or not"

"Yeah let me go put my stuff down in a trailer" you say then look over at Johnny "Can I use yours please? I dont trust the rest of these fuckers i have to many playmates in my phone"

"I wouldnt trust us either" Chris says laughing

"You can trust me y/n...you're the only playmate I have my eye on" Steve-o says winking

"Yeah come on sweetheart" Johnny says jaw twitching again and placing his hand on your lower back then looks at the crew "finish getting everything set up"

His trailer was on the other side of set so it was a bit of a walk so you both filled the silence talking about your cover shoot and bitch about Bam.

He could listen to you talk all day and never get tired of it whether it was about your hobbies, your work bitching about Bam or just needed someone to talk to, he just loved hearing you talk!

And you loved he actually listened and made you feel heard and seen! There were countless times over the last 2 years you called him upset neededing someome to talk to and he always picked up, no matter the time, what he was doing or who he he was with. He was the same way about meet up with you, even blew off a date because you asked him to hang out.

"Want some water or a beer or something" he ask when you get to the trailer

"Waters fine thank you"

He hands you a bottle from the fridge and even opens it for you which makes you smile

"Such a gentleman Knoxville" you tease making his blush "you look cute with that uniform on"

"Wait til you see the mustache and aviators" he winks making you smile

"So you ever gonna let me do a stunt" you ask with a smirk over your water bottle.

"Absolutely not sweetheart! Way to dangerous for you"

"I can handle it, have you forgotten who I grew up with and what Ive had to deal with? Or I once broke my arm doing a stunt Bam talked me into for their CKY videos"

"No I havent babycakes" he laughs making your face light up at the nickname

"I like that nickname" you smile

"Oh you do huh" he says in a low voice stepping closer placing his hands on your hips making you blush

"Very much"

"Youre beautiful you know that? Especially when you blush" he says pushing some falling hair from your face

"Well youve always made me blush! The new nickname is just the sweet cherry on top"

"Well thats what ill call you from now on! You'll be ol Knoxvilles babycakes"

"I could get use to that" you smile

"Oh really" he says leaning closer to you testing the water and making your breath hitch something he notices right away "do I make you nervous babycakes" he whispers

"In every good way possible Knoxville" you whisper back getting closer

"So am I that someone you have youre eye on"

"Since the say we met" you whisper with soft eyes

Johnny looks down at your lips then back to your eyes fighting with every once in him not to kiss you before running his hand down your face softly "you're all i think about you know, and have since the day we met"

"I feel the same Johnny"

"Fuck its getting so hard to fight it when all I want is you, 2 fucking years of having to keep my distance, watching you go on dates, being with other guys that arent me, it killed me everytime"

"I haven't been with a guy in over a year and I only gave one of those guys a second date" you tell him making him look at you in surprise

"Really? Why?"

"They werent you" you say simply and truthfully looking up at him making face soften even more a smile tugging at his lips "I tried to go on more dates but when it came time for a second one I backed out and stopped trying. Figured if I couldnt be with the guy I really wanted what was the point"

"I did the same thing. No dates, I stopped taking girls home about a year ago, I mean I was only doing it to try to forget you and it still didnt work! Nothing has worked." he says.

Johnny takes a deep breath before getting the courage to continue knowing once he says what he's been holding in for 2 years it was gonna change everything!

"Y/n I swear I fell in love with you the second you walked downstairs that day wearing those white and pink pajamas pants and poka dot shirt, your down and hair wet, yelling at Bam for breaking your new hair dryer giving zero fucks there was a room full of people you never met. And the last 2 years have been hell not being able to have you"

"You love me?" You say tearing up

"So fucking y/n you have no idea!" He says gently running his hand down your face "you are perfect in every way and I have never felt this way and you dont have have to say-"

"I love you too" you cut him off "I have since I met you I never believed in love at first sight til that day"

"I dont know if I can fight it anymore, not when the thing I want most in this world, the woman of my dreams is standing right in front of me telling me she feels the same" he whispers leaning his forehead against yours

"So stop fighting it"

Hearing your words Johnny waste no time pulling you closer and crashing his lips on yours! He slips his tongue past your lips in a needy headed desperate kiss that made your toes curl. His hands are everywhere on your body and in your hair.

That kiss told both of you everything you already knew...this was the last first kiss for both of you!

He moved from your lips to your neck pulling a moan from your lips and it was the most beautiful sound he has ever heard and his already hard member grows even bigger.

"You sound fucking beautiful! You are beautiful" he says against your neck

"I want you so bad Johnny"

"I want you too doll so fucking bad...but the first time I have you its not gonna be rushed! Its not gonna be a quick fuck...not with you! I wanna take my time with you make you mine fully"

As frustrated as you were now that you finally got a taste of him he was right! Your first time with him wasnt gonna be a quick fuck, you wanted him properly!

"Dont go out with the guys tonight come to my place"

"Dont bite off more then you can chew babycakes you're not gonna be able to walk for a week! Im gonna ruin you for any other man" he says pulling away

"You had me ruined from the second we met" you tell him making him smile

"I feel the same way baby! And now that I have you Im never letting you go, not ever I promise! You'll be my own personal centerfold" he says making you laugh

"Told you, you didn't have to wait for my issue to come out"

That night while your brother and the other Jackass guys went out to the bar, Johnny came over! His lips were on yours the second you opened your apartment door "Hope you don't have other plans because I'm about to make good on my promise and by the end of the night you're gonna be mine"

"I already am Knoxville, now take me to bed"

"Yes ma'am" he says his southern accent coming out

That was the night when your relationship began!

One year later: March 2004

You and Johnny have been together for just little over a year and you both couldnt have been happier! It was definitely the best relationship you had ever been in! Johnny was the most loving, thoughtful, trustworthy respectful guy you had ever been with! And lets face it the sex is A-MAZ-ING!

He was supportive about your career which in a way surprised you seeing as most men wouldnt like their girlfriend posing nude for all the world to see but it was kind of a turn on for Johnny and his words...

"Other dudes may get to look on paper but I'm the only one in the world who gets to see the real thing and get touch, kiss, and taste you"

Your relationship was hard to hide from Bam especially since you were both in the public eye and almost always had cameras on you whether that be for a show or the paparazzi, but you manged. And it really got hard when you moved in together, you had to keep your apartment for appearances and that was getting old! Oh did I mention the two of you got married a few weeks ago? Yeah that made things harder too!

The only person you told about your relationship was your best friend Holly Madison. I mean she was there for you impromptu Vegas wedding!

You and Johnny had no secrets and told each other everything! You were the first one he told when he landed the role of Luke Duke for the new Dukes of Hazzard movie and he was the first person you told when you got the news you were gonna be playmate of the year, he was almost more excited then you were!

"Baby you home!" You yell happily walking into your shared LA apartment running into the livingroom

"Yeah I'm here babycakes, whats up" he barley gets out before you jump in his arms taking him by surprise almost knocking him over "woah you that happy to see me baby" he smiles when he catching you

"I got playmate of the year" you blurt out

"Oh my God! Baby are you serious!" He says wide eyed and smilimg

"Yes!" You squil

"My wife! The love of my fucking life is fucking playmate of the year! I am so happy for you!" He says before smashing his lips onto to yours and spinning you around making you laugh "Baby I am so proud of you! You have worked your fucking ass off!"

"Thank you baby"

"Have you told your folks yet or Bam?"

"Nope you are the first person I told! I was thinking about making a trip to tell them in person,"

"That sounds fun baby" then he sees your face kinda drop

"Whats wrong baby" he ask putting you back on the ground

You take a deep breath "I get a special luncheon in my honor, and I get 5 guest and one of them is gonna be you but-"

"Bam has to know about us"

"And our marriage, it's time" you say looking up at him

When you and Johnny got together you agreed to keep your relationship a secret since they had just started filming the 2nd Jackass movie, not waiting to cause tension between the two, which could put the movie in jeopardy.

"Baby Im ready for the world to know I love you and I mean i did give you my last name" he smiles "even if it gets you punched" you joked

"We both know its coming baby and I am sleeping with his sister so I probably deserve it" he says laughing

"Well theres another reason I need Bam to know well 2 more things..."

"Oh my God are you pregnant" he says lighting up like a Christmas tree

"No but if we keep fucking like rabbits without a condom I will be soon" you laugh "first reason is I get to have one person escort me on stage and I kinda already gave Hef your name" you smirk

"You picked me? You dont want your brother or one of your parents to"

"Nope I want the love of my life, my husband Mr.Jackass himself up there with me for my special moment"

Johnny smiles and smashes his lips onto yours "I love you babycakes" he says against your lips

"I love you too" you say

"And the second reason"

"I told Hef about us because, well I asked him to introduce me at the lunch as Y/n Margera-Knoxville and...its going on the cover"

"So the whole world is gonna know soon!" He smiles then throw you over his shoulder "what are you doing" you laugh

"Im gonna fuck the new playmate of the year... Y/n Margera-Knoxville"

A few weeks later you are on a plane to West Chester to visit your brother and parents and tell them about Johnny, while your was in New York on business, but he was gonna be there the next day and not to tell anyone...if you only knew what hell that was gonna be!

****

-"Me and Dunn are here at the airport in Philly to pick up my little sister Y/n who as you all know is in playboy so we made her these to welcome her home"

-"Dude shes gonna kill us for these signs"

-"I know" Bam laughs "oh shit there she comes" he says and they both hold up their signs

-"Oh my God! Put those down now!" You say when you see the signs

-"Hey baby sister" Bam says pulling you into a hug

-"Hey jackass" you greet back then move on to Dunn.

-"You do have a nice rack y/n"

-"Shut up Dunn"

-"Lets get you home Ape is making you a welcome/congratulations dinner"

-"Yummy I miss moms cooking!"

-"Well we better get home before Vito eats it all"

On the way to the house thankfully the film crew wasnt with you so you send Johnny a text...

Y/n: I made it baby in the Hummer with Bam and Dunn on the way home! Ill call you later I promise! I love you

Johnny: Im glad you made it safe doll! I love you too ill be looking forward to your call! Be careful!

When you pull up to Bams house you are greeted with a big signs and your parents your uncle and the rest of Bams crew.

"Ohhhh my baby is home!" Your mom says running to hug you "I missed you so much"

"I missed you too mom" you say hugging her back then move on to your dad

"Daddy!" You say hugging him

"Hey bumblebee! Im glad your home for awhile" Phil says

"Yeah me too, I love LA but nothing beats West Chester"

"Yo why didn't you bring any playmates whats the point of my niece being a bunny if you cant bring me playmates when you come home"

"Because Vito none of them like you, they all think your creepy old perv!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Vito all they playmates hate you"

He says something in gibberish you cant understand but when can you ever understand him? You can walk by him rolling your eyes making your way to the kitchen to make you a plate of food, while Bam starts messing with him...

Good to be home!

"So before you guys go start doing dumb shit i have some exciting news" you say getting everyone's attention after dinner

"Whats up little sis"

"You are looking at your 2004 Playmate of the Year!"

"OH MY GOD! REALLY! OH MY GOD" your mom yells with so much excitement.

"Dude thats awesome! Not thrilled my baby is gonna be being fucking naked again for the world to see but its awesome! Congrats!"

"Thats amazing bumblebee! So whats it all entail"

"Well I get a brand new car of my chosing with any customs i want, an all expensive paid vacation including shopping to anywhere in the world, a new pictorial and cover with all creative rights well with Hefs approval of course and ready for this...a million dollars!"

"Thats fucking awesome! I know ive given you shit about the playboy stuff but I am really proud of you" Bam says pulling you into a big hug

"I think I speak for us all us when I say congratulations and we are all extremely proud of you sweetheart"

"So when's the big shoot little sis".

"The shoot in about 6 weeks and you are gonna love one of the themes and the cover BamBam"

"Oh what is it" Ape ask

"As a nod to my big brother and his willingness to almost die inturn getting me chance to even have playboy look at me its going be a skateboard theme!" You say looking at Bam

"Sick!"

"Theres one more thing about my issue and it involves the Jackass crew!"

"What" Bam ask confused

"Well you guys cant tell anyone but the issue is gonna be out the month before Jackass sooo Knoxville and Jeff had a sit down with Hef thanks to yours truly and, Playboy and Jackass are collabing and I'm doing a special photoshoot with you guys, and before you say anything I'm gonna be in clothes"

"Dude are you serious!" Bam ask jumping up from the couch coming over to hug you "You are the best little sister ever! I take back all the things I said about you posing for playboy" he says making you kissing your head

"Uh-huh" you laugh "Anyways there is a formal luncheon in my honor at the end of July before the issue comes out and I get 5 special guests and I have already given Hefs the name so special invitations are going out soon"

"Am I on the list" Rabb ask

"Yeahhhhhh no! you are not on the list and neither are you or you or you or you and especially not you" you say pointing around the room ending at Vito

"Thats bullshit y/n!" Rab whines making the others whine along with him

"Look I only get 5 people so I had to be picky plus you fuckers would ruin it"

"Who's name did you give them?" Rake asked

"Mom, Dad, Bam, and Dunn"

"Haha fuckers I get to go!" Dunn laughs at them then gets up and kisses your check "I always knew you loved me best"

"Always have Dunn"

"Yo what about me I'm your uncle? Why cant i do to the playboy mansion"

"Vito again none of the girls like you, especially Holly! I wouldnt take you back to the mansion if you payed me! You were horrible when you went! Im not even sure they would let your ass in plus you are not ruining my big day" you tell your uncle once again sending him into talking gibberish only catching a word here and there

"imtoudkdjdke hdkkndbdj uncle jeieidkrh jskeiejdnsl jjjdeoeoekz playboy djwoendk why djeodjdjdk"

"Will you learn some fucking english please" you say rolling your eyes

"Wait thats only 4! You said 5! Whos the 5th?"

"Someome special" you say simply in a sing-song voice smirking

"Are you seeing someone?" Ape asked her face lighting up and you just smile and nod "oh my God who?!"

"Yeah who the fuck are you seeing? Why didnt you tell me?!" Bam ask getting into big brother mode and you just smirk and continue without a word "you better fucking tell me y/n"

You dont see the look and the camera doesnt either but your smirk and the way you are ignoring Bam is making her motherly instincts tingle!

Later that after you shower and settle into bed you call Johnny like promised...

"Hey sweetheart, you finally settled in"

"Yeah finally" you say plopping on your bed with a grunt making your husband laugh

"Feel good to be home I'm guessing"

"Very nice and finally no cameras are on me" you say making him laugh "oh my God wanna hear what the signs said that Bam and Dunn showed up to the airport with..."

"No telling with them" he laughs

"Bams said my sister got famous for her rack and Dunns said Bams sister has a nice rack"

Johnny let out the biggest laugh "well they arent wrong baby!"

"What i that I got famous for my boobs"

"Yeah and that you have a nice rack...prettiest boobies ever! Its my laptop screen saver"

"Youre a perv"

"But im your perv baby...forever!"

"Yes you are and i love you"

"I love you too babycakes! So how did Bam and your folks take the news bout Playmate of the year?"

"They were happy for me! Even Bam was excited for me, said he was proud of me"

"Well damn lets hope he takes the news of our marriage that good"

"I can't wait to see you, I miss my husband"

"Your husband misses you too sweetheart, but answer me this...what are you wearing" he ask and you can practically hear the smirk on his face

"Just one of your shirts" you tease but really you were in your Jackass pajama shorts and matching spaghetti strap top

"No panties? You naughty girl"

"Hurry and get here and ill be as naughty as you want me to be maybe even do that thing you like"

"Uhhh youre killing me baby"

"What time are you gonna be here anyways" you ask changing the subject

"Sometime in the morning, im borrowing a buddies car and its only a couple hours there but dont tell anyone including your parents im comimg I may have a little surprise for your brother too"

"Oh God its gonna be one of those weekends isnt it"

"It sure it sweetheart!"

"So your gonna piss him before we tell him we're married"

"No! Im gonna have Steve-o, Pontius, and weeman do it for me" he laughs

"Oh God really? So much for peace and quiet"

"Ill make sure they dont mess with you baby and I will also make sure we get some of our secret love time, even with cameras around"

"Speaking of secrets...I told my mom about us!"

"Oh shit really? How did that go"

*Eailer that night*

You crawl into bed and cuddle up to her side like you did when you were a little girl making her smile and stroke your head "whats wrong sweetie?"

"Nothing just trying to get the courage to tell you something"

"Are you pregnant" she ask in a panic

'Mom! No! But it is about my love life"

"Ohhhh the secret guy you're seeing!" She says making you nod "And something tells me you didn't tell Bam because its someone from the Jackass crew?" she asked giving you her best mom look making you nod again "and since I know its not any of the guys here I can narrow it down a little bit more" she says looking at you like she's trying to read your mind before she plays the elimination game.

"Lets see its not Jeff hes got a girlfriend he's pretty serious about. Preston, and Ehren get on your last nerves so they are out! You think Dave is gross"

"love them all but no"

"Ok Then that leaves Chris, Jason, Steve-O and Johnny...but 2 of them are out because they remind you to much of your brothers so now we are down to 2...Johnny and Steve-O" she says looking at you with narrow eyes "Steve-O has has always been in love with you and has never been shy about it, much to Bams annoyance. But Johnny is more your type with his style and humor! But you do like the wild ones too so im gonna say... Steve-O"

"Is that your final answer mom" you joke making her nod "youre wrong" you say and her eyes go wide

"JOHNNY!" She yells making you shush her

"Mom! Not so loud! But yes and you cant say anything to anyone not even dad yet and especially not Bam!"

"I wont! How long have you two been together?

"Over a year"

"A year! So things are pretty serious"

You nod and hand her the picture from Vegas

"YOU'RE MARRIED?!"

"Shhhhhh yes" you whisper

"When did you two get married" she whispers

"About 2 months ago in Vegas and before you get mad it wasnt planned we just decided to do it, it was just us and Holly! Completely spur of the moment! And I wanted to tell you in person. I really love him mom and have even before we got together! Hes the one and he feels the same"

"You know you have to tell Bam now and your father"

"I know i know, its not dad im worried about but Bam is gonna freak out mom! And you know hes gonna start throwing punches all because of his stupid rule, and I dont want my big brother to hate me or ruin his friendship with Johnny" you say with tears in your eyes

"Y/n listen to me" she says making you look at her "Bam isnt gonna hate you he could never hate you, he loves you more then anyone in this world! And this is your life! Dont worry about Bam! Let me ask you this, Does Johnny make you happy and treat you right?" She ask making you nod "and since you changed your last name I'm guessing you see a long future with him" She ask wiping the tears that have fallen "ok then! Let Bam throw his fit he'll get over it! In the end your big brother just wants you to be happy, and if he starts throwing punches ill step in but im pretty sure Johnny can take him" she says making you laugh...

*****

"Steve-O?" He says letting out a loud laugh "he wishes"

"Its always Steve-O! Even Kendra still thinks so"

"But she is right I can take your brother"

"I know you can baby"

"Well at least Apes on our side" Johnny says

"Yep! I knew she would be she loves you! Said if we want she'll be there when we tell him and I might take her up on it"

"Probably not a horrible idea"

You and Johnny talk for another hour before finally getting off so you can both get some sleep...

"I love you babycakes! Ill see you in a few hours and dont forget to lock your door"

"I won't baby! I love you too!"

RING*RING*RING

You look over to your clock 5:37am and you groan.

"Hello" you answer sleep still in your voice

"Hey babycakes I'm outside you gonna come see me"

"Coming" you say now wide away jumping out of bed

You run down the stairs in only your coral jacks pajamas not even bothering to put on shoes. When you get outside you see your husbandoff to the side leaning against the hood of his(well his buddies) car with a big smile and his arms stretched out. You jump into his waiting arms wrapping your legs around his waist wasting zero time bringing him into a heated kiss thats all teeth and tongue! (Thankfully the film crew wasnt there yet)

"Fuck I missed you Mrs.Knoxville" he says pulling away

"I missed you too Mr.Knoxville" you say then connect your lips again.

Johnny sets you down on the hood where two of makeout like teenagers for a good ten minutes and are so lost in each other you don't hear the footsteps coming up behind you...

"Bam is gonna fucking kill you Knoxville"

You both turn at the voice and notice Dunn with a cup of coffee and a smirk

"So Knoxville is the mystery guy huh"

"Dunn" you say in a warning voice

"And here we all thought you were sneaking around with Steve-O" he says taking a sip of his coffee

"Why is it always Steve-O?" You ask getting off the hood

"Because you and Steve-O is Bams worst nightmare but doesn't matter Bam is gonna kill him you know that right"

"Bam isnt gonna find out until we tell him Dunn so that means keep your fucking mouth shut"

"Ohhhhh this is to good to keep to myself" he laughs "I mean Knoxville, your screwing Bams little sister you" he laughs

"Its more then that Dunn" Johnny tells him then looks at you and you nod knowing what hes asking "we're married"

This bit sent Dunn over the edge laughing while you just stood there rolling your eyes "oh oh yeah this is to good not tell anyone" he says through his hard laughing "I mean not only are you screwing Bams sister knowing shes off limits you-you married her...and Bam doesnt know and-and you think I'm gonna keep this to myself" he says laughing harder

"Ok that's enough" you say walking up grabbing him by the balls while Johnny takes his turn laughing and Dunn begs you to let go "this is how this is gonna go Ryan...you are gonna keep your big mouth shut and let me tell my brother my way, and if you dont I will call Holly and tell her to take your name off the list for my lunch and give the spot to Rabb and then I will personally tell every playmate you have fucking crabs and small dick...nod if you understand me" sure enough he nods "good" you say then give him one last twist before letting go sending Dunn to the ground

"Baby normally I don't condone you touching another man's balls but damn that shit was so fucking funny" he says then kisses you

"Well there wasnt much there to grab so dont get to jealous" you say making Johnny laugh harder

"Youre mean y/n! Hope you treat your husbands balls and dick better" Dunn says from his spot in the ground

"She treat them very nice, better then anyone has she does this thing-"

"Shut up" you say hitting your husbands arm "he doesnt need to know I can make you cum in less then 5 minutes" you smirk looking at Dunn

"Yeah dude" Dunn grunts "shes right didnt need to know that"

"Ok Dunn lets fuck up Bams hummer" Johnny says kicking him in balls while he tries to get up

"Yeah on that note I'm going inside" you say

"Please help us baby" he says grabbing you by the waist and pulling you closer to him

"If you mess with that damn hummer hes gonna declare war and I want no part of that i have the biggest photoshoot of my life in a few weeks and I need all my limbs to stay unbroken plus its cold and im in shorts and a tank top and no shoes" you whine

"You can wear my hoodie you love that" he says starting rubbing your arms up and down "Please you can just watch you dont have to touch it and ill even make Dunn go get your shoes" he says kissing down your neck sitting that secret sweet spot he knows will get you to cave

"Fine Ill watch" you cave "but Dunn has to get me coffee too"

"Done! Dunn make her some coffee sugar-"

"Sugar free carmel and splenda in the pink jackass mug I know" he groans "but why am I getting it shes your wife"

"Because I'm not kissing her hello yet, remember you interrupted the reunion" Johnny says lifting you on the hood "where were we"

An hour later...

"Hello Im Johnny Knoxville and this is Bam's hummer" he says into the camera then holds up a saw laughing and all you can do is shake your head and take a sip from your coffee while you watch your husband start destroying your brothers precious hummer

"Sure you know what you're doing" Dunn says coming into frame

"I have no idea" Johnny laughs continuing the assault on the hummer

"Dont you wanna do it a little Dunn?"

And even tho Dunn said no, he was the one who got up on the roof first...

"Are you really turning it into a convertible" you ask when the camera pans to you off to the side sipping your coffee

"You got it sweetheart" Johnny says winking at you

"My brother is gonna kill the both of you both"

"Wanna help babycakes" he says holding up the saw

"Yeah not a chance"

"What the fuck are you guys doing" Bam says a few minutes later from his bedroom window

"Good to see you again"

"and you're just watching" he says looking at you making you shurg and drink your coffee "I couldn't sleep and I was bored"

"Its gonna look good trust me" Johnny says before smashing the window

Bam finally comes down shaking Johnny's hand and putting you in a playful headlock "how could you let them do this"

"Its not my car their fucking up" you laugh

"Is thats Knoxvilles" he ask looking down at the BigBrother hoodie thats 3 times to big for you "your swimming in it! Do you even have clothes on"

"Yes i have clothes on but Its cold and i didnt want to go inside I was enjoying the show" you laugh playing off why you have on Johnny's hoodie

"What the hell is going on-Oh my God Johnny! I didnt know you were coming" your mom says looking over at you "what are you doing here" she ask hugs him

"Surprising Bam" he says but looking at you and winks

"Im gonna go shower then make you dumbasses breakfast have fun" you say turning around to walk inside but stop when you get to Johnny and turn around smirking "here's your hoodie back Knoxville thanks" you say taking the hoodie off leaving you in just your shorts and tank and handing it to him "anytime sweetheart" he winks

"You better have more clothes on when you come back down stairs, I can see your ass cheeks" Bam yells while you walk away

"Not like your friends havent already seen me naked...and they all like my rack" you yell back making Bam groan and everyone laugh

"Dude shes not wrong" Dieco says

"Especially Knoxville" Dunn says under his breath luckily only Johnny heard so him he nut punched him sending him to the ground...thankfully that was off camera

"Ape! Phil! you need to control your daughter shes out of control!" Bam says making Phil laugh a full belly laugh "yeah ok Bam"

"Bam I can control your sister about as well as I can control you!" April says then gestures to the mess in front of her

"Actally Ape I think Bams eaiser to control then y/n believe it or not" Phill adds

"Yeah God help the man that marries her, hes in for some hell" April says looking at Jonny with a knowing smirk

"Yeah shes a pistol" Johnny says looking into the camera with a smirk and wink "now back to fucking up Bams hummer"

A little while later you're showered and dressed you are standing by the stove making breakfast for the whole crew when you feel a pair of cold rough hands wrap around your waist and a kiss on your shoulder "looks and smells good baby"

"Me or the food" you tease

"Both but manly you!"

"Thank you" you say turning around seeing him shirtless making your smile get bigger "and thank you for being shirtless Mr.Knoxville" you say running your hands down his tone chest then remember the cameras "they didnt follow me I told them I had to piss" he said reading your mind

"Classy Knoxville" you smirk putting your arms around his neck and pulling him down for a deep kiss

"Fuck I love kissing you" he says making you smile "well not to brag but I am a pretty damn good kisser" you smirk

"Yes.you.are.baby! The best ever! And i get to kiss you for the rest of my life" He says kissing you again "and I love these jeans on you your ass looks amazing their my favorite" he says against your lips squeezing your ass making you giggle "why do you think I wore them?" You whisper kissing him again making him growl

But your little moment of bliss didnt last but a few minutes because you hear your brother coming in the house.

"to be continued" he whispers slipping a hotel key card in your back pocket before leaving the kitchen and grabbing his mic.

"Hey you see Knoxville?" Bam ask comimg into the kitchen with his camera crew

"No" you lie

-Everyone starts to pile in while you start to make plates for everyone.

"This is really good y/n, I need the recipe" Johnny smirks acting like you dont him your maple bacon pancakes all the time

"Sure but feel special i only make these for my favorite people"

"I knew you loved me" he winks making you blush and your mom laugh

"Dont tell the others but you're my favorite Jackass" you saying making him smile

"You 2 helping Knoxville puts you both on his team" Bam says to you and Dunn after breakfast "you both betrayed me! My best friend and my babysister"

"I didnt do shit Bam! Dont rope me in with them" you say loading the dish washer

"Did you or did you not watch them ruin my hummer"

"Ok yeah I did watch but I didnt join in unlike you! Pretty sure you helpped fuck up your hummer so leave me out of your games!"

"Well you are still on their team baby sister" he says then pours ice water down your back making you scream

"WHAT THE FUCK BAM!" punching him in the arm

*"Its a prank war" he says into the camera and walks away his camera crew and the others following him leaving just you Johnny and Dunn in the kitchen

You look over to Johnny with a pissed off look while you dry yourself off "you are in so much trouble" Dunn laughs when the last camera man leaves the kitchen

"I fucking told you Knoxville I wanted to go inside! But noooooo now im in this fucking prank war with him and hes probably gonna shave my eyebrows while im sleeping and I have my fucking photo shoot in a few weeks! You know my PLAYBOY, PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR SHOOT"

"Calm down baby i knew it would come to this...well not you being brought in-"

"We are supposed to be telling him were married and instead you start a damn prank war with him and drag me into it" you whisper yell

"I got it handled babycakes I promise i have reinforcements coming in remember"

"Like they are gonna help!"

"Who you got coming in"

"The 3 fucking stooges!" You tell Dunn then look back to your husband and poke him in the chest making him back up into the counter "if anything happens that will mess up my photoshoots and I mean the smallest thing you can say bye to sex for a very.long.time! Got it"

"Yes ma'am"

"Now im gonna go change and get ready for my girls day with mom!" You say before giving him a quick kiss "I love you"

"I love you too"

You walk away to go change out of your wet clothes leaving your husband and Dunn in the kitchen "dude you are so whipped"

"Yeah I know Dunn" he says watching you walk up the stairs "but if you landed her you would be too"

"You know Bam is really gonna try to kill you right"

"She's worth it"

While the boys continued their prank war you and your mom drove into Philly for the day to enjoy a mother/daughter spa day(with no cameras thanks to Bam telling them not to go)...paid for by your husband who felt bad for dragging you into his and Bams prank war. You and her talked about everything from your life in LA and upcoming photoshoot and lunch to you accompanying Johnny to Louisiana for the filming of Dukes of Hazzard and even having a little ceremony you know once you told Bam "Phil has dreamed of walking you down the aisle and dancing with you at your wedding since the day we found out you were a girl"

"I will talk to Johnny but I'm sure he will be fine with it"

And all day long you were getting text about their little game... Vito being in Johnny's hotel room wearing his boxers and covered in wing sauce, Johnny throwing your uncles clothes in the poor which in turn making Vito break a window(that was charged to your husbands room), Dunn going in the pool, the soup at the diner, Dunns wallet coved in puke and the ruined bumper on Johnny's car. And everytime you got an update you showed your mom who just shook her head.

"Someone's gonna get hurt" she said

"Yeah i know"

It was just before 8 when you pulled into the driveway looking forward to being able to slip away for some much need alone time with your husband but when you see the house packed with people your hopes faded.

You and your mom park and unload the car taking all your shopping bags in from your impromptu shopping trip! But you were not ready for what was waiting for you inside.

"Y/ns here!" You hear and turn around and see Steve-O running towards you(and cameras) then feel yourself being lifted off the ground making you drop your bags.

"Put me down asshole"

"This is the only chance ill have to hold you close" he says dramatically making you roll your eyes "you look fucking sexy by the way!" Then he starts his usual begging "when are you gonna give me a chance? Just one"

You look over to Johnny by the pool table seeing him laughing...yeah he finds it funny how much Steve-O is in love with you knowing you're already his!

"Its not happening dickhead you know the rule! Besides apparently your little girlfriend is already seeing someone...someone special" Bam mocks you as your eyes meet Johnny and him throwing you wink.

"I dont see a ring so there's still a chance! Mark my words one day I'm gonna make you Mrs.Steve-O one day"

Little did he know both your rings were around your neck...

"Whatever you say sweetie" kissing his cheek making then pick up your bags "im going to put this stuff up"

You walk out of frame and gesture to Johnny follow you...

10 minutes later you hear your door open and the lock click then feel lips on your neck so you decide to have a little fun

"Oh Steve-O thats the spot" you say holding back your laughs turning around wrapping your arms around his neck

"Not funny"

"Oh but its funny when he hits on me"

"That is funny because soon hes gonna find out who your special someone really is...his boss" laughs turning you around "you and your mom have fun today"

"Yeah it was much needed I miss hanging with my mom but she did ask me to bring something up to you"

"Whats that baby"

"She wants us to have some kinda of wedding ceremony just something small, said even tho Phil loves you and he'll be happy for us he has always dreamed of walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at my wedding"

"I am perfectly fine with that babycakes! We'll do it as big or as small as you want!"

"You're the best husband! Im so happy with you" you smile up at him

"I feel the same way baby! Never been so happy" he says then kisses you "I love you, so fucking much"

"I love you too baby" you say smiling then remember something special you got for him.

"Oh and we did a little shopping!"

"I see that baby, anything good"

"Welllllll we went to that lingerie store they have downtown" you wiggle your eye brows at him

"Ooooo Can I see some of it" he growls

You untie your robe letting it drop to the floor and his jaw drops leaving him speechless seeing you in your new black see through baby doll lingerie set "Holy fuck!"

"Got time for a quickie" you wink

"Ill make the fucking time" he says before attacking your lips

After your little bit of fun with your husband he goes back downstairs to give them some bullshit excuse while you jump in the shower then make your way down stairs.

"Dont you ever wear clothes that cover you fully" your bother says seeing in a pair of track pants and a long sleeve belly shirt.

"Shut up Bam and give me a beer"

"Here ya go sweetheart" Johnny says giving you the one he just opened and then you make your way over to the pool table and start racking

"So Y/n, Knoxville was telling us how you got the crew into playboy" weeman says

"And you're playmate of the year! That's fucking awesome y/n" Pontius adds

"Thank you! But yeah brought the Jackass idea up to Holly and she loved it and took the idea to Hef telling him that if all your sexy faces are in it more women would buy the issue inturn making the magazine more money plus yall had me in it alot so its more eyes on me which is good for him"

"Its gonna be amazing publicity for the movie! Thank you doll" Johnny says kissing your cheek

"So I get another playboy of you naked and get to shoot with you" Steve-O says wiggling his eyebrows

"You're a perv and ill be in clothes for my Jackass shoot and it wont have anything to do with my playmate of the year centerfold or on the same day or even in the same week as I shoot that!" You tell him taking your shot sinking 3 stripped balls "now your turn" you tell him handing him the pool stick

"What do i get if I win" he flirts as he leans down to take his shot

You lean getting close to his ear and stage whispers for everyone to hear "me"

He takes his shot at the same time you say the word...sinking the 8 ball making the room erupt in laughs

"Damn you sank the 8 ball I win"

"You are the reason blueballs exist" he says making you laugh

The rest of the night is the same playing pool, drinking beer, and catching up. And of course you and Johnny sneaking touches and whispers. At one point Johnny gets a phone call and leaves for 30 minutes but returns with a smile and winks at you then whispers something to Bam making him look at you and smirk.

"I dont trust this" gesturing between them

"Youre to paranoid"

"With good reason BamBam!"

"Should I tell her"

"Tell me what?

"You should"

"Hello right here! Tell me what?"

"So that was the producers of Dukes of Hazzard and one of girls they casted backed out something about scheduling soooooo"

"Spit it out Knoxville"

"Wanna take her place"

The camera focuses on you with your month hanging open while everyone waits for your answer...

"Are you kidding?! Dont mess with me Knoxville!"

"100% serious babycakes"

"Holy shit! Hell yeah ill do it!" You say running into his arms smashing your lips onto his...totally forgetting there was a room full of people cameras and your brother...

"what the fuck?" Bam ask the camera getting closer to him

"Shut up Bam! He just got me a role in a movie staring Willie Nelson! He deserves a kiss" you say hoping he buys your excuse

"Is that all I have to do to get a kiss? Cuz I'll make phone calls right now" Steve-O says

"Shut up dude! Ok noone else is kissing my sister!"

*Johnny looks at you then the camera still holding you in his arms "Bams gonna hate this..."

"Yo Bam! I didnt tell you the best part I get to makeout with your sister alot in the movie" he says laughing when he sees Bams face goes red "Yeah shes gonna be playing my love interest"

"Am I really"

"Yep and not movie kissing the real thing so lets get to practicing darlin" then takes another opportunity to kiss you only he slips the tongue turning it into a little makeout session squeezing your ass just to get to your brother

"OK!" Bam yells "Thats enough and put her down she has legs"

"Youre a good kisser Knoxville" you say winking as he puts you down

"So are you sweetheart"

"Man this ain't fair" Steve-O says looking a bit sad making everyone laugh

"I told them we'll go to breakfast or my hotel away from these loud asses and work out some of the details then in a few days we gotta go to New York for the rest"

"Oh my God thank you! I love you"

"I love you too doll"

"Hey none of that either" Bam says and luckily you have always told the guys you love them so it was to suspicious

"Hey lets toast and do shots" Rabb says

"How about this let me go tell Ape and Phil then ill do a few shots but I dont wanna be hung over for this meeting, we'll celebrate big tomorrow night"

True to your word after you told your parents you did a few shots. Its almoat 1230 in the morning when you finally decide to head to your room "hey y/n before you go to bed I have to tell you a more things about the movie and meeting" Johnny says making you nod and lead him into the kitchen

Luckily the cameras dont follow

"You know you are the best husband ever" You say jumping up on the counter

"And you are the best wife" he says coming to stand in between your legs and kissing your lips

"This isnt gonna interfere with my photoshoots are they"

"Not at all baby I promise, We dont leave for Louisiana until late August and they have said any press or interviews or anything playboy related they will fly you back to LA or set something up in New Orleans."

"Now was it your idea or theirs to give me the role"

"They called me about you baby! They knew id be bringing you anyways" he says with a smile

"So they know we're married"

"They do now" he laughs "I mean they knew we were together from the start but I told them about our marriage so they can get us a place together"

"So what else did you want to talk to me about? I know it wasn't just about the movie"

"The guys wanna start working on ideas for next season since we leave to start filming and asked if we can use my hotel room and I know you planned to come over when Bam went to bed but hes coming too-"

"Its fine baby ill stay tomorrow night with you"

"Are you sure because I can tell them no"

"Baby go work on stunts but only if you add me into a few" you smile before bringing him into a kiss know it would get you what you wanted

"Fine but nothing dangerous"

"Deal" you smile kissing him again "Now go before I change my mind and make you stay with me"

"I love you so much babycakes"

"I love you too Knoxville" you say kissing your husband

"Ill see you tomorrow morning"

If you only knew the wake up you were gonna get...

*The next morning*

"Dude y/n is gonna fucking kill you" Dunn says to Johnny while getting his mic on and waiting for the film crew to finish setting up

"Oh yeah I know but I have a golden tongue so ill make it up to her later" he winks "so dont come to the hotel tonight"

"You guys getting" Steve-O asked coming up behind them

*"we're outside Bams and its 7am so we're give him a little tacky wakeup" Johnny laughs into the camera holding up a containers of thumb tacks making an O shaped face and covering his month

-Him and the others sneak in the house pouring the thumb tacks on the floor in front of Bams room unaware a few got away from them...but the camera saw

Meanwhile you are sleeping soundly in your bed when you are jolted away by the sound of a motorcycle being revved up. You jump out of bed and run out the door

-GOOD MORNINGGGGGGG" You hear your husband say in a sing song voice

-then the camera catches you step around the corner

"WHAT THE FUCK-OWWWWW" you scream when you step on not one...but two tacks that rolled down the hall and are now stuck in your foot and the sudden pain makes you jump and you lose your footing making you fall to the ground and hitting your head on the corner of the wall causing a gash.

"Oh fuck" Johnny says in a panic seeing your head bleeding and runs to your side not caring about your brother and cameras, and hes followed by Dunn, and Steve-O.

You look up at your husband with fury in your eyes and in a soft voice scary voice whisper "im.gonna.fucking.kill.you."

"Oh my God are you ok baby?" He ask lifting your head

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM OK KNOXVILLE" you yell taking the tacks out of your foot throwing them at him and pointing to your head thats dripping with blood "Pontius get the first aid kit and ice" Johnny yells "I am so fucking sorry baby, oh God Im sorry"

"Y/n we didnt mean for those tacks t-" Steve-O says but you just look at him making him shut up mid sentence

"Someone help me up NOW"

Johnny helps you to your feet while whispering how sorry he is while you stay quiet and look at him really thinking about for the first time punching him.

"Here's the first aid kit and an ice pack! Y/n we are so sorry" Pontius says handing Johnny the stuff he asked for but you just look at him making him back away

Then Steve-O looks you up and down "nice bra and panties" he winks trying to lighten then mood...which doesnt work just pisses you more

"SHUT UP STEVE-O" you yell "Someone give me shirt!" Realizeing only now that you are just in mini boyshorts and a sports bra

Johnny doesnt waste time ripping his shirt off helping you put it on.

"You ok y/n" Bam yells while trying to get the tacks out of his feet

"NO BAM IM NOT! I HAVE A FUCKING PHOTOSHOOT IN A FEW WEEKS AND I HAVE GASH IN MY HEAD, BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN MY FACE, AND JUST DUG 2 FUCKIMG TACKS OUT OF MY FOOT! IM OVER THIS PRANK WAR" you yell

"Hey I didnt do this one and I wasnt the one who started it"

"No but you kept it going! You all did now look IM FUCKING BLEEDING"

And the whole time your yelling and bleeding the cameras are in your face which is making everything worse and Johnny can see it and hes worried you're gonna break a camera.

You look at Bam and yell "GET YOUR FUCKING CAMERA CREW OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE BAM OR I WILL BRAKE THEIR FACES AND THEIR FUCKING CAMERAS!" then hit the camera

"Shes not joking guys get out of her face now" Johnny says in a serious tone getting more protective over you

"Yeah Knoxvilles right she'll do it so-" he says gesturing for them to cut "Steve-O shes about to hit you too dude i can see it from here"

"Yeah dude shes like scary mad right now kinda a turn on-" but one look at your face his smile drops and he shuts up then backs up with his hands up.

When the cameras are finally off you, you look at your husband "my.room.now" you say through gritted teeth and limp off then turn to Dunn "you and the other 3 arent off the fucking hook"

Both Johnny and Dunn share a look before Dunn whispers "go ill stall Bam but I dont think you're golden tongue is getting you out of this one dude"

"Yeah it might be the couch for awhile after this"

When you are in your room you hear the door shut and slow footsteps

Ba-"

"Dont talk! I am so fucking pissed off right now i really could hit you" you say slipping on some leggings

"I am so so sorry baby"

"Like you couldn't give me a fucking heads up?! Any of you?"

"We came up with it at like 4am you were sleeping and I really didnt see the tacks roll baby"

"That isnt the point Johnny! look" you say pointing to your head "i have a photoshoot in a few weeks and now I have a gash on my head that might need stitches, a bruise on my arm and my fucking foot hurts and it wasnt even from my brother it was my husband!"

"I know i know i am so fucking sorry i feel like shit baby I really do! What can I do to make it up to you? Name it and its yours I promise? Vacation? Shopping spree? New car? I dont care whatever it is!"

"You can start by cleaning up my head and helping me get ready! We have that meeting at 11"

"Ok baby but let me check you for a concussion"

Both Johnny and Bam made you get looked at by the on scene medic who determines you dont need stitches or have a concussion which your husband was happy about! He already felt like complete shit that his prank got you hurt in the first place.

You told him that if he wanted to continue with his little prank war he better make sure you weren't involved(at this point he had no choice because the show). So before you left him and the other 3 superglued the pool balls to the table, filled the house with suds which pissed your mother off and tortured your brother with a snake which did make you laugh a good bit...big mistake on your part and made Bam decide to get you back!

"WHAT THE FUCK! BAM I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!"

When you got back from your meeting you walked in to the living room seeing a kiddie pool full of bleach inside... all your clothes, shoes, hair products, makeup!

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH ALL THIS SHIT IS WORTH!!" you scream

"Bam dude this isnt cool she asked to be left out of it" Johnny says trying to keep his anger controlled when he sees you start to ring out a few things "I mean she already got hurt because of us"

"Yeah dude, that's alot of stuff" Steve-O says

"Hey whats going-BAM! How could you do this to your sister" your mom asked coming hearing your scream and seeing all your stuff

"Ape she asked for it when she decided to laugh about that snake! And by laughing you officially joined their team Y/n!" He says laughing which pissed you off more

"SO BECAUSE I LAUGHED YOU RUIN ALL MY SHIT! THIS IS THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF STUFF! SOME OF IT WAS GIFTS! NOT ALL OF US HAVE MILLIONS IN THE FUCKING BANK TO EASILY REPLACE STUFF BRANDON! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT CLOTHES THE REST OF TIME IM HERE"

"Sweetheart I got a few outfits you left last time you were here and I think a pair of shoes too" then pulls a few things out of the pool "ill see if I can save any of this"

"Thanks mom" you say softly

"theres always k-mart or goodwill" he laugh

You then you did something that took everyone by surprise...you channeled all that anger and punch him sending him to the ground then got on top of him hitting him again, with your mom yelling for you to stop when she sees Bams nose bleeding.

"Someome get her!" But she yells it to your husband more then anyone

"Okay babycakes thats enough" Johnny says pulling you off your brother taking you upstairs

Right then you decided to get your brother back! If he was gonna drag you into their little game you were gonna make him regret it!

"Baby ill replace everything I promise!"

"Oh no you're not he is! Or im gonna break that damn skateboard he keeps behind lock and key! But for now you and the other 4 goons are gonna help me get my brother back! He wants me in this war hes gots it!"

"Youre sexy all fired up babycakes! What'cha got in mind baby" he smirks pulling you to him by your hips

Later that night...

The plan was simple! Pretend to get way to drunk and flirt with, dirty dance/grind and hang on Steve-O, inturn pissing your brother off beyond relief(oh course with your husbands ok and ground rules)

*ok so Bams worst nightmare is me being with Steve-O and since even after getting my head spilt open and asking to stay out of this little game Bam still brought me into it and ruined all my stuff, Im gonna give him what he wants amd join in this game" you say to the camera "the plan is to pretend I'm drunk by taking water shots hes gonna think is tequila and make Bam think there is something going on between me and Steve-O"

*"Were gonna be dirty dancing and grinding, flirting, hanging on eachother oh and some kissing! Basically my dream come true!"

"I never said kissing! And you better remember my rules nothing in the bathing suit area" you say poking his chest "my nono square is a big nono for you!"

"Dont worry ill be the bodyguard" Johnny says winking

*"and i guess Knoxvilles gonna be my bodyguard and dont worry my special someone is fully aware of this plan and has given full permission just as long as Steve-O doesnt take it to far"

"Dude Bam is gonna punch you!" Dunn laughs

"Totally fucking worth it dude! I get to makeout with y/n"

"Again I never said that!"

"Come on you we gotta sell this shit baby"

*"oh and our drinks are on Bams tab" Johnny says holding up Bams card ignoring you and Steve-O behind him bickering.

When you walk inside you pull your husband to the side and turn off both your mics "are you sure youre ok with this? I can still call it off, and come up with another one. I dont wanna put you in an uncomfortable position"

"Im fine with it baby I trust Steve-O and I know if he does anything to make you uncomfortable or he goes to far you'll stop him I trust you! And Ill keep a close eye on him but how bout this...if at anytime you want to stop the prank point to your ring finger and ill shut it down myself"

"Deal but same goes for you if you start feeling uncomfortable with any of it!"

"Deal" he says before kissing you "lets go get you pretend drunk put those acting skills to the test"

About an hour later and 5 water shots in you start to fully put your plan into action and from the look on Bams face it's working!

"Dude do you have to be close to my sister and stop fucking touching her"

"Dude she asked me to help her with her pool game" Steve-O says standing behind you with his hands on your hips

"Well you dont have to touch her! And why dont you ever wear fucking clothes" Bam says looking down your outfit"

"Well it was kinna wen this is only thing I habe now since youuuuu ruined all my shit Bam" you say turning around pretending to slur some of your words "and its shorts and a playboy shirt"

"They are both to fucking short!"

"I think they she looks fucking awesome" Steve-O says wrapping his arms around your waist making Bams jaw twitch

"Youre cute" you boop Steve-O nose getting a kiss on the cheek

Bam just walks away mumbling to himself making you and Steve-O laugh.

Another hour goes by and you do more shots while you and Steve-O up your game with the flirting the touching, and getting very dirty on the dance floor, even letting Steve-O kiss you in the neck a few times. You see Bam getting more made with every passing minute but you needed him to really lose it!

*So Bam is getting mad and wont stop complaining and threatening to kick Steve-Os ass but hasnt lost it so we gotta up the game to make him completely lose his shit! So y/n came up with the best idea wanna tell them babycakes"

*Bodyshots!" You whisper yell to the camera holding up a couple shot glasses "im gonna have all 5 guys do a bodyshot off me but take it one step further with Steve-O! Hes gonna make his extra sexy extra dirty and when he goes for the lime in my mouth im gonna spit it out and make Steve-Os dream come true"

"Bodyshots off the new playmate of the year and making out her fuck yeah dude"

"I said kiss not makeout!"

"Just a little tongue please this is probably my only chance" he begs

You look to Johnny and the others who are laughing at Steve-Os begging.

"I think your boyfriend would be ok with it" Dunn says

"As long as its quick I dont see a problem I mean you made out with me last night" Johnny says laughing harder making you give him a look

"Thats true! You made made out with Knoxville I think its my turn!"

"Oh my God I cant believe I'm about to say this but you get one makeout no longer then 15-20 seconds...and I will be counting"

"Fucking sweet dude" Steve-O says running to the bar to order 5 shots"

"Im gonna fucking kill you" you say to your husband when the cameras follow Steve-O "you better not hold this over my head and remember you asked for it!"

"Its me you're coming home with and dont forget you have my last name babycakes! Just dont enjoy it to much" he laughs

"I dont think you have to worry about that!"

"WHO WANTS TO DO BODY SHOTS WITH THE NEW PLAYMATEOFTHEYEAR" you yell getting on the pool table and getting Bams attention who was across the room

"Oh fuck no! Youve had enough im taking you home! Get down" your brother says storming across the room

"Ill be done soon!" You say taking your shirt off leaving you in your black bra "The guys wanted to do body shots...whos first"

"Y/n I mean it! Now put your fucking shirt on were leaving" Bam says through gritted teeth

"Dude let her have fun" Rabb tells him

Bam stands there and watching his friends licking salt off your stomach and getting madder by the second, and its taken everything in you not to laugh.

"Oh Knoxville your turn!"

Johnny licks your stomach then takes his shot. Before he takes his lime from your mouth he winks and whispers "I love you"...the camera and sound guy pick this up and look at each other like they finally put it together.

"Ok Steve-O your turn-"

"Dont you fucking dare dude! Y/n im fucking serious get the fuck up, your drunk its time to leave" Bam says on the verge of completely losing it!

"No!" Then you look at Steve-O "come lick me"

"My pleasure baby" Steve-O says pushing Bam aside

"DONT YOU FUCKING DARE!" Bam yells stepping closer but is blocked by a laughing Dunn and Pontius

"Dude let her celebrate! She got playmate of the year and a movie role" wee man says

As planned Steve-O takes his body shot a step further! He grabs your hips and slowly starts licking the salt, dipping his tongue in your bellybutton then licks up your stomach all the way to your neck then he takes his shot, when he is almost to the lime in your mouth you spit it out and grab him being him to you lips!

Bam watches as his worst nightmare comes true...you start to makeout with Steve-O while trying to get around Dunn and Chris while all hia friends and the whole bar cheers. When he finally pushes through he is making his way to the pool table and rips Steve-O off punching him and throwing him to the floor making him laugh "Knoxville man youre right shes a good kisser"

"Told ya" Johnny laughs

"SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY DUDE! THATS MY SISTER" then he turns to you tossing you your shirt "and you are cut the fuck off! Put your damn shirt on im taking you home!"

"Not before I have a real shot!" You tell him putting your shirt on

"NO! No more shots you're fucking drunk as it is"

"Kinda hard to get drunk off water" you tell him seeing his face drop

"You mean all this was to fuck with me? Are you kidding me! You pretended to makeout with him to piss me off"

"Oh the kiss was real I had to sell it but yeah everything else was fake!"

"Thats fucked up Y/n even for you! I just punched one of my friends because a fucking prank!"

"He knew the risk!"

"It was worth it dude" Steve-O says coming up with ice on his cheek then puts his arms around your waist "so was the kiss as good for you as it was for me"

"You're a good kisser but sorry Knoxville is better!" You say throwing a wink at your husband who winks back

"Y/n this was all fuck up!"

"Next time dont fuck with my shit"

"I told you I was gonna replace it"

"I know you are and buy me shots...like youve done anyone else all night!"

"What? I didnt buy anyone drinks Knoxville-"

"Here are a few shots for you babycakes" Johnny says handing you 3 double shots of your favorite patron "topshelf of course! And Bam here is your card and the bill"

"Ill take the card! Hes got about $10,000 worth of stuff to replace" you say taking the the card from Johnny making everyone but your brother laugh

"$1,167!"

"Dont forget to tip good bro" you say downing your first shot

They next day you wake up(finally being able to stay with Johnny) and shower before you're husband is even awake, leaving him a note...

Going to brunch with Missy I'll meet you back at the house! I love you! ♡Babycakes

Today was the day you and Johnny were gonna tell Bam about youre marriage and you were so nervous! You kinda had an idea how he was gonna react but then again Bam had always been so unpredictable you never really know! You were just hoping everything would be ok and there wasnt gonna be a repeat of last night! Soooooo you decided to bring your friend Missy who Bam always had a thing for hoping he wouldn't act stupid.

"Cant believe you got married and didnt tell me or invite me but the queen of the playboy mansion was there" Missy says while driving you back to the house.

"I wanted to tell you in person. And it was a spur of the moment thing literally Johnny said "lets gets married" and I said ok. And Holly just happened to be in Vegas on some playboy business. But we are gonna do a little ceremony you know if my brother doesnt kill my husband"

"So now Im Bam bate" she laughs

"Yeah kinda, hes always had a thing for you so I'm hoping youre presence there will stop anything-what the fuck" You stop mid sentence when you see Dunns motorcycle in the driveway and your husband painted green "i wanna say I'm surprised but I'm really not"

"Why is he green? And holyshit is that Sean Penn?"

"Yep and his son Hopper who is also green oh and look so is my brother and Steve-O but at least the cameras are gone"

You get out of the car grabbing your things and thats when you also see Johnny's friend car ruined and pained green.

"So now all your cars are fucked I see and it now answers why all of you are green" you say

"Yeah i kinda bought a cadillac" Johnny says looking at you worried you'd be mad

"I don't know what to say" you say shaking your head "anyways you guys this is my bestfriend from high school Missy"

Not long after arriving it Sean Penn and his son leaves which sucked you were looking forward to catching up with him. Then right after he leaves it starts to pour so you all have no choice to head inside.

You all stand around playing pool and talking and thats when you get the full story on why your husband is green and that their little prank war was over which made you so happy!

You also saw Bam and Missy flirting in the corner so you took that as an opportunity to sneak off with Johnny, so you signal for him to follow you to the kitchen...

"Still can't believe you're green Knoxville" you laugh throwing your arms around his neck while he wraps his arms around your waist lifting you onto the counter

"I cant believe I gotta buy a damn cadillac! Are you mad"

"No im not mad baby, and ill help-"

"Dont finish that sentence! My prank war my responsibility" he says leaving no room for argument

"Fine but I am giving that motorcycle to Dunn I mean I'm never gonna use it and i dont need 2 cars plus it was my brother who ruined his"

"Speaking of your brother, when you wanna tell him"

"Tell me what?" Bam says coming into the kitchen with Dunn and Rabb

"What are you doing in here" you ask in a panic

"Getting beers-wait why the fuck are the 2 of you in here? Like that?" Bam ask

"Uhhhhh.."

"Y/n if this is another fucking prank I swear"

You look at Johnny having a silent conversation before getting off the counter. Here goes nothing...

"Can we talk to you in private and get mom and in here"

"No what the fuck is going going on" he ask nostrils flaring "is Knoxville the fucking guy youve been seeing"

"Rabb go get my mom and dad...and hurry" you say watching him practically run from the room hearing him call for your parents.

"No we dont need them in here! ARE YOU FUCKING MY SISTER KNOXVILLE" Bam yells

"Bam just wait til your parents get in here and we'll explain"

"No fucking tell me the truth both of you! Is Knoxville the guy youve been seeing?" Bam says not yelling this time but still rasing his voice

"I love him Bam more then anything and he makes me happy"

"That didn't fucking answer my question y/n"

"Hes my husband, we got married in Vegas about 2 months ago"

"Excuse me? Im sorry y/n I dont think I fucking heard you right...did you say husband as in married? You married Knoxville in fucking Vegas? Do Ape and Phil know!" Bam says in a very low scary voice looking at your husband but before you could answer your parents come in

"Mom knows"

"UN-FUCKING-BELIEAVABLE!" Bam yells throwing his hands up

"What the hell is going on in here" your mom says coming in confused

"Yeah Rabb said to hurry"

"Apparently your fucking daughter lost her fucking mind and ran off to Vegas and married fucking Knoxville and AND YOUR DAMN WIFE KNEW!"

"What? You married Johnny in Vegas? When? I didnt even know you were together" Phil says in a calm voice not mad but definitely surprised for sure

"Weve been together over a year, and the wedding was a spur of the moment thing we just decided while we were there one weekend! We wanted to tell you all in person so thats why we didnt say anything when it happened trust me this isnt how we planned to tell the 2 of you and mom only found out a few days"

Bam opens his month to say something but your mom shuts him down with just one look one of the only times he actually listened to her.

"Ok" your dad says taking in the news "Im not happy you didnt tell me when it happened but does he make you happy and treat you good bubblebee"

"He makes me very happy dad and yes he treats me really good always has"

"And you really love my daughter this isnt some game or PR stunt"

"No sir! I love your daughter very much and Ive never been happier"

"Ok then well as long as you treat my little girl with love and respect and protect her, I guess welcome to the family Johnny" Phil says shaking his hand

"Johnny all I ask is that you dont break her heart or cause her pain in anyway. Shes my only daughter!"

"I promise not to hurt her April and I wont ever let anyone else hurt her either" Johnny says

"Ok looks like I have a 3rd son" she says giving him a hug

It should have ended there but Bam Margera was your brother so it didnt...

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Bam yells "SHE RUNS OFF GETS MARRIED AND YOU SHAKE HIS HAND AND YOU HUG HIM"

"What do you want us to do Bam" your dad said says rasing his voice something he very rarely does "shes 23 and Johnny's a good guy who loves her makes her happy and treats her good. If they want to be married there isnt anything we can do about it! She could have done way worse remember that!"

"Why are you telling us now huh? The two of have been going behind my fucking back for a year so why now?" Bam ask

"Because at my luncheon when Hef introduces me hes doing it as Y/n Margera-Knoxville and its also gonna be on my cover and any press i do. Its also gonna be in the Dukes of Hazzard credits"

For some reason hearing this is what set Bam off so he lounges at Johnny hitting him in the face a few times.

"BAM! GET OFF HIM" you and your mom both yell while your dad and Dunn pull Bam away leaving Johnny bloody on the floor

"Bam calm down now! You are being ridiculous! This is why she didnt tell you and i don't blame her" April says getting a rag for your husband

"NO IM NOT CALMING DOWN APRIL! SHE FUCKING RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED TO ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS! AND SHE IS TAKING HIS LAST NAME"

"Well Bam thats what happens when a woman gets married! She starts a life with her husband and the first step is changing her name" you hear you mother say as you check on your husband.

"Oh my God baby are you ok" you ask cleaning his busted bloody lip while your mom and Bam continue to yell at each other

"Im good babycakes" he smiles

With all the yelling the others from the living come in and are met with a bleeding Johnny on the floor, Bam being held back by your dad and Dunn while him and your mom yells at eachother and you cleaning up your husband.

"What the fuck dudes" Steve-O says taking in the site but his question goes unanswered

"NOT ONLY DID YOU FUCK AROUND WITH MY SISTER DOING THE ONE THING I TOLD ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS NOT TO DO BUT YOU FUCKING MARRIED HER AND KEPT IT FROM ME!"

"Bam-" you say but your brother cuts you off

"SHUT THE FUCK Y/N I DONT WANNA FUCKING HEAR IT!" Bam yells then says something that makes your husband see red "GUESS YOU ARE JUST LIKE THE OTHER FUCKING PLAYMATES A SLUT THAT SLEEPS HER WAY TO THE TOP! BET SLEPT YOUR WAY TO PLAYMATE OF-"

Johnny doesnt even let Bam finish before he takes everyone by surprise when he gets to his feet and punches your brother in the jaw and you all swear you hear a crack before Bam hits the floor!

"YOURE NOT GONNA FUCKING TALK TO OR YELL AT MY WIFE LIKE THAT BAM! I DONT CARE IF SHES YOUR SISTER OR NOT SHES MY WIFE AND YOURE GONNA TREAT HER WITH RESPECT" He yells while being pulled away by Steve-O and Chris "I LOVE HER BAM IVE ALWAYS LOVED HER! AND IM TIRED OF FUCKING HIDING IT! APRIL IS RIGHT THIS IS WHY WE DIDNT TELL YOU! BECAUSE INSTEAD OF BEING HAPPY FOR US YOU CALL MY A SLUT AND ACUSE HER OF SLEEPING HER WAY TO PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR"

Johnny never loses his temper or yells so him hitting Bam and yelling at him the way her made everyone stand there shocked not knowing what to say, so you break the silence.

"Bam Im sorry we didnt tell you sooner but please see how happy I am and how happy he makes me. Youre my big brother-"

"Get the fuckout both of you" Bam says cutting you off while getting floor making your heart break

"Bam please just listen-" you try to reason with him

"No im fucking done you with you! You and your husband have 10 minutes to get your shit and get the fuck out of my house!" he says walking out of the kitchen then turns around and gives you one last blow "and dont fucking come back! Oh and Knoxville i fucking quit"

You stand there in shock along with everyone else that your brother just kicked you out telling you not to come back and you breakdown in yours arms. The one thing you were worried about happening happened.

4 months Later:July 2004

You hadnt spoken to your brother since that afternoon in March. He wouldnt answer your calls, text or emails. He didn't take Johnny's calls either, so anything to do with Jackass went through Jeff. You even went old school sending him a letter in the mail but found you from Dunn as soon as he got it he threw it away without even opening it. You did see him April for the Jackass playboy shoot and again in May when they shot the intro but each time he didnt say a word to you or Johnny. He even though he tried to back out of both of them but Jeff reminded him he was under contract until the movie was out and all press was done.

It was hard not seeing or talking to your brother and you spent many nights crying in your husbands arms, and many days on the phone with your mom dad or Dunn trying to get him to talk to you. But today wasnt about Bam it was about you and Johnny! Today was the day of your wedding ceremony!

Holly and Bridget helped you plan a small beach wedding with only your close family and friends on a private beach in Malibu. Other then both your families Johnny had invited the guys from Jackass and you invited Holly, Bridget, Kendra, a few playmates and of course Hef! Who paid for the whole thing down to your dress saying...

"Darling you're playmate of the year and very special to me and as my personal gift to you I want to pay for the whole wedding! Food, drinks, flowers even your dress! Whatever you want just let Holly know"

You hated your brother wasnt gonna be there he was the only thing missing...

Holly,Bridget, Kendra and your mom were helping you put the finishing touches on when your husband came into your tent "hey ladies looking beautiful but you think I could have a few minutes alone with my wife please"

"Dude you cant see her before the ceremony!" Kendra tells him trying to block you and making everyone laugh

"Kendra we drove together it's ok"

"Yeah lady!" Johnny says playfully "I just want to give her her gift! Won't take but a few minutes! 10 minutes tops"

"Fine but no quickies keep it in your pants save that for later" Kendra says

"We did that this morning in the shower" Johnny tells her making your mom groan and leave the tent shaking her head while the other 3 laugh and follow her.

"You look beautiful babycakes, cant wait to get that dress off of you" he says when the girls are gone making you blush

"Thank you baby and you can have all you want tonight!" you tell him putting arms around his neck bring him into a kiss "you look very handsome too by the way"

"Thank you babycakes! Now ready for your gift"

"You didnt have to get me anything baby, I already told you that"

"Well since Mr.Hefner paid for everything I kinda had no but this gift isnt from me, youll get that at the reception" he says making you look at him suspicious

"This better not be some prank from the guys cuz I swear-"

"Its not they promised not only me but your mom no pranks, jokes, or stunts today! Just close your eyes"

You look at him for a few more seconds before doing what he asked...you hear some rustling before he says "ok open them"

You slowly open your eyes and standing in front of you is your brother dressed in a suit "Bam" you say softly looking over at your husband who just nods

"You didnt think I'd miss my baby sisters wedding do you?"

Tears start streaming down your face as walk over to your brother having him wrap you in a big hug stay that way for a few minutes

"ill give you two a few minutes" Johnny says slipping out of the tent

"I cant believe you came" you say pulling away "what made you change your mind"

"Your husband, Dunn and Steve-O" he says making you give him a confused look

"long story ill tell you later but they helpped me I was dick and knocked some fucking sense into me! Y/n Im sorry I never should have reacted the way and I really never should have said the things I said to you-"

"Its ok Bam"

"No its not! Your my baby sister, the person I love most in this world, probably the only person id actually fucking die for and I called you a slut! What kinda of fucking big brother does that? Y/n Im proud of you and your career still dont like you not having your fucking clothes on" he says making you laugh "but you have worked your ass off and im sorry for saying otherwise. And...I guess I'm happy you and Knoxville are together! He is probably one of the greatest guys I know. I guess in some way I always saw something between the 2 of you I just didnt want to. Youve always comes to me for everything even when i was pissing you off and I didnt want to be replaced"

"Bam no one could ever replace my big brother ever and I'll still come to you! Youve always been my bestfriend Bam even when I wanted to punch you in the face" you say making him laugh "If it wasnt for you I wouldnt have my dream career or even have met Johnny. Bam It killed me keeping our relationship from you and for that I am sorry but im sorry for falling in love he really does make me happy"

"I just wanted to protect you from getting hurt I know how all those fuckers can be I mean its my job and Jess feels the same fucking way when it comes to you"

"I know and I love yall for that but if there was ever someone you dont have to protect me from or worrying about hurting me its Knoxville and I think you know that"

"I know, but if he ever does anything I will kill him"

"I know you will BamBam!" You say laughing before you hug him "thank you for being here"

"I wouldnt miss it!" He says hugging you back "thank you for not choosing Steve-O" he says kissing your head making you laugh "ok lets get you married Mrs.Knoxville"

"Margera-Knoxville" you correct him with a smile

"You look beautiful by the way, Knoxville hit the jackpot! Ill go get mom and the others" he says walking about to walk out when you called him making him turn around.

"Dunn knew by the way" you smirk making his face drop

'DUNN!"

The ceremony went perfectly! Your dad and Bam both walked you down the aisle while your other Brother Jess officiated! You and Johnny wrote your own vows which brought everyone to tears...yep even Bam even though he tried to cover it up.

And as promised none of the guys tried anything...at least til later!

You kept the reception simple as well! You both decided on pizza for dinner but of course Holly and Bridget had to make it a little more fancy! They did same with your cake when you said you just wanted cupcakes! And of course you had an open bar!

When it came to your first dance thats where Johnny's gift to you came in...

"Before me and my beautiful wife share our first dance I have to give her her gift, guys come out..." you look at him confused til you see the the members of Lifehouse walk out.

"Oh my God are you serious?" You ask

"Can I have this dance" he ask holding his hand out while Lifehouse starts to play yours and Johnny's song You&Me

🎶What day is it

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up, and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me

And all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you🎶

You and Johnny danced in silence no words were needed and neither of you never taking your eyes off eachother the whole time. It really was as if the world faded away in that moment.

You also had your father/daughter dance with your dad to Tim McGraw's My Little Girl. And your brothers even surprised you by dancing to Lean on Me by Bill Withers.

All in all it really was the perfect day made even more perfect when you and Johnny snuck away after the sun went down.

"Thank you for bringing Bam here" you tell him leaning in to his side

"It was nothing babycakes"

"No it was everything! But how did you do it"

"Ill tell you later, right now I want to give you one last gift"

"Johnny-"

He cuts you off by handing you a key

"You bought a house?"

"Not just any house..that house in Calabasas you love"

"Are you kidding me?!"

"We can move in next week. And we'll go get furniture this week everything else we need"

"You are the best husband! I love you so much!" You say giving him a passionate kiss

"I love you too babycakes, always have!"