#steveo

𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐚 𝐓𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐡

based off of this post's second ask, with permission from @high-on-the-dying-sun

wc: 0.4k

content: my works are all 18+, mdni. i am not your mommy, you are responsible for your media consumption. collared men.

johnny knoxville x reader

tw: slowburn, eventual smut, cursing, stunts, drama

chapter word count: 3.3K

ur brother bam gets renewed for another season of jackass and hes in cali for it. MTV says they want u in it. he send you a ticket and u go and meet his friends in real life. they are cool they pull pranks on you and you slowly get feelings for the big JK, johnny. but you don't realize that johnny feels the same way.

will there be drama? will this mess up the show? best part is

idk what will happen this is being made by the readers. i have a little poll at the end of each chapter. :3

December 3rd, 2000

My brother mostly called for help on his new show, Jackass. Calling to ask if I had any ideas or if I could help plan over the phone. Bam, Jess, and I always messed around as kids, doing crazy stunts and trashing the house. We constantly got yelled at. Thankfully, I was the princess of the house and the youngest, so the boys got most of the blame.

It's been about a year since the show started. It's now getting a renewal for season two. Shocker. When they finished shooting season one, Bam called and told me that he didn't think it was even going to air, something about the producers for MTV saying it was a little too much for TV. They did shoot some stuff in Pennsylvania; well, Ryan and Bam did, but I was off in Jersey spending time with a friend, so I missed it. Bam had called asking if I wanted to join them.

Now, almost a year later, I am sitting in my new apartment that my parents helped pay for. They loved me, but seeing as Bam and Jess were out of the nest, it was time for me to start flying as well. I went down to the lobby that morning to check my mailbox and didn't get to open any of it until now. Bill, bill, bill, another bill, letter? Nobody really sent me letters other than my friend Riley. She was studying in Paris; she only sent a letter every couple of months. She didn't want to pay extra for international calls. She was just as much of a broke college student as I was. I was in between majors. I couldn't choose. One day, I wanted to be an artist: the next day, a teacher. So I settled on getting an AA degree until I figured it out.

I examined the envelope; there was no return address or name. Weird. Whoever sent this doesn't want a letter back? I opened the letter and began to read it.

ʰᵉʸ ʸ/ⁿ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵇᵃᵐ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵛ ᵇⁱᵍ ᵇʳᵒᵗʰᵉʳ. ⁱⁿ ᵗʰⁱˢ ˡᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉˢ ᵃ ᵗⁱᶜᵏᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵃˡⁱ. ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵃⁿᵉ ˡᵉᵃᵛᵉˢ ᵃᵗ ⁿᵒᵒⁿ ᵒⁿ ᶠʳⁱᵈᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ⁷ᵗʰ. ᵇᵉ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ ᵒʳ ᵇᵉ ˢqᵘᵃʳᵉ. ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶜᵒᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᶠᵒʳ ˢᵉᵃˢᵒⁿ ᵗʷᵒ. ᵖ.ˢ. ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ʷᵉ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵍᵒ ᵍᵉᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵐᵉ. ᵖ.ᵖ.ˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍᵘʸˢ ˢᵃⁱᵈ ʰⁱ ᵖ.ᵖ.ᵖ.ˢ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ʷᵉˡᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵘʳᵖʳⁱˢᵉ

God. His handwriting is ass. Yeah. Thanks for the 3-day notice. I don't even know how long I'll be there for. What the hell, Bam. Ugh.

I pull out the ticket and read it.

BOARDING PASS FOR Y/N MARGERA

PHL -> LAX

DECEMBER 07th, 2000

ONE-WAY FLIGHT 427

One-way? How long was I staying? I walked over to the couch, sat down, and grabbed the phone. I called his cellphone. Hopefully he still has one; he probably broke it during a stunt already. I remember the day he got it. It was after his first paycheck from MTV. He was so excited. He bought a Nokia cellphone, the newest one. It was almost 400 dollars. He insisted it was an investment; he could call anytime if there was an emergency. Of course, everyone agreed.

The phone rang. And rang. And rang again. Finally, I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

"Bam? Did you send me a ticket to Cali?" This has to be a prank? It was just such short notice. I need to prepare, pack, pay bills, obviously.

"You know I can't just up and leave? I'm behind on bills. I got so much work to do for class-" I tried to explain, but he cut me off.

"Pleasee? You'll make a lot of money. PJ wants you here for this season. He's writing you a contract right now. When you get here, you can pretty much add anything on it. MTV agreed to have you in. But they probably only want you for the sex appeal." He laughed. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Knoxville wants me there? That's funny. I've never even met him in person." I've seen him on the show, duh. I've talked to him on the phone a couple of times to help with stunts. Well, more like give them pointers on how to not die but also stay entertaining.

"I've talked to him on the phone a few times..."

Bam laughed. "Yeah, exactly. See? You already fit in."

I rolled my eyes. "I still can't just leave. I told you. I've got rent due, classes, work—"

"I'll take care of it."

"...What?"

"I said I'll take care of it."

"Bam, you can't just—"

"I already talked to Mom and Dad. They'll help with your rent while you're gone, and I'll pay 'em back. I've got a plan. Please just trust me."

"Fine." I sighed. "You've helped us since day one without getting any credit. It's your turn." He replied. It would be fun to do stupid stunts with my brother again. I've seen him in forever. It can't hurt to take a risk. Worse comes to worst, I just come back afterwards. I looked back down at the one-way ticket in my lap. Still, the whole thing sounded insane.

"...How long am I gonna be there?"

"No clue."

"Bam." I groaned. At least give me an estimate.

"Pleaseeeee.." He pleaded

"...Fine."

"I'll see you Friday."

"Whatever."

The line clicked dead.

I set the phone back on its cradle and looked around my tiny apartment. I sat there for another minute, trying to process what I'd just agreed to. I put my head in my hands and sighed. I have three days to pack. I don't know what I'll need. What am I going to wear? Do I need to bring professional outfits? This sucks.

I hurried to my bedroom and yanked my old duffel bag out from under the bed. Clothes flew across the room as I started making piles. Shoes, pants, shorts, shirts, jackets, dresses, and pretty much everything I could fit in my bag. I paused, looking at the growing pile. "What the hell do people even wear in California?" I grabbed a couple of band shirts. I threw them in the pile along with everything else. I went into my bathroom and started packing what I could in there. Toothbrush, toothpaste, brush, hair ties, jewelry - again, anything I could fit in the bag was going in the pile.

By the end of the night, my apartment looked like a tornado had ripped through it. Half my closet was stuffed into two bags; I ended up finding one in a storage closet. I was sitting at the kitchen table sorting through all my bills, writing checks to send out by Friday. I don't want to cause mom and dad too much stress with these bills. I smiled as I was finishing the last check, slipping it into the envelope; I was going to be on TV. I was so excited. I was finally going to meet the people my brother had been trying to kill himself with.

As I put them on my little entryway table, my stomach twisted with a mix of fear and excitement. I was going to be in California in a few days! But I don't really know anybody there. Then again, it's a fresh start! I'd probably meet a lot of famous people. They are going to be shooting in West Hollywood. I took a shower to calm my nerves. I wasn't going to stop feeling this way until I got there and got comfortable. I knew that. I got out of the shower, threw on my bra and underwear, and then dug around for an old baggy T-shirt. I turned on my alarm for 10 am. I need to finish a couple of things before Friday.

December 07th, 2000

BEEP BEEP BEEP

My alarm shrieked. Too early. It's like 9 am.

I jump up. Oh my god, 9 AM. I've got to be at the airport by 11. Fuck. I roll out of bed. As I'm walking to the bathroom to get ready, I get a knock at the door. I rush over, tripping over myself in the process. I peek through the peephole. My mom and dad, April and Phil. I sigh. I unlock and open the door.

"My baby!" My mother cries out, excitedly, while going in for a hug. My father rolls his eyes and smiles. "I can't believe you all are gone! Phil and I are going to be so lonely." She says as she pulls back from said hug. I step to the side to let them in. Dad looks around for a second before turning to me. "Looks like a Tasmanian devil ran through." He laughs. I look around at all my stuff thrown around the room. "I had three days to get ready. I had to rush." I chuckled. Mom walked around and started picking things up and organizing. " Mom, don't worry about it. I'll get it when I come back." I said, walking to my bedroom so I could get ready to shower.

"What if you don't come back?" She said, still cleaning.

I looked back into the living room, confused. Dad nudged Mom; she stopped and her tracks and corrected herself. "Well, I mean, of course you'll come back. I just mean, uh, you'll be gone for a while. You don't want to come back to a messed up place." She continued as I walked back into my bathroom to get ready. "I'm jumping in the shower!" I hollered out the bathroom door. I got in and started washing my hair. That was weird. I sighed. Bam is probably trying to set something up so I can stay in California. He always hated being away for too long. My family was very protective of me. My brothers called any and every day they weren't busy. My parents called every other day.

I finished up in the shower. I don't have too much time; I have to be at the airport around 11:30ish. I have to make it. I threw together an outfit with the clothes that were already out. Black lace cami was the first thing I saw. I want to throw something over it. Hm.. I looked around my bedroom. Bingo. Pink plaid short-sleeved shirt. I kept searching; I still needed pants. I found a pair of low-rise jeans in a pile near my bed. Clean? Hopefully. I walked back into the bathroom and started putting the clothes on, obviously. I looked up at the outfit; I think this would be an okay first impression outfit. The plaid shirt was perfectly cropped; I only buttoned one of the buttons. The lace cami underneath wasn't cropped but was short enough to show a little bit of my belly button. The jeans were fine. I just can't bend over in them, or everyone's getting flashed. I leaned over the counter and did a little bit of makeup. Mascara, eyeliner, and some gloss.

I walked back out into the living room. My mom and dad were still waiting. "Are you guys taking me to the airport?" My mom looked up from the magazine she found lying around, my dad not looking up from the crossword book he carried around. "Yeah, we wanted to be able to say goodbye before you left." My mom said, getting up and slipping her shoes back on. I was at the kitchen table making sure I had everything. When I concluded that I indeed had everything, I grabbed a pair of Converse I had lying around and slipped them on. My dad finally got up, grabbing his key and putting his own shoes back on. "Are we ready to rock and roll?" I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Yep. I've got everything." I said, walking out, my parents behind me. We waited near the elevator as Mom locked the door to my apartment. "Well, even if you don't, it wouldn't kill us to come back and get it and mail it out to y'all." I nodded.

We walked through the lobby and to the car. I packed my stuff and jumped in the backseat. The whole car ride to the airport was just us retelling old stories from when the boys and I were kids.

"Oh my god, do you remember when we got grounded for painting the living room neon green, and Bam and I pushed Jess down the stairs in a laundry basket?" Mom started cracking up. "Yes! You guys were some bad-ass kids," She giggled. "I think every gray is from you guys." I laughed. "Probably." She shook her head. "No! Definitely!" She laughed.

We finally arrived at the airport. Dad drove around looking for a parking spot. Every time Mom pointed one out, someone would take it. He eventually got one. Dad got my bags out of the trunk, and they both walked in with me. I was so nervous. I had my ticket in my hands. I was shaking and sweating. It was obvious. Mom rubbed my shoulder as we looked for a seat to wait for the plane. I looked at the time. 10:30. Early, but at least I'm not late. We continued to talk. They told stories, some of them I barely remember. I told them my ideas for some of the stunts when I get to California. I told them about the times I talked to the other members of Jackass over the phone. I was so excited to meet them in person. I told Mom how I thought each person was going to be based on our previous conversations.

"FLIGHT 427 IS READY FOR BOARDING"

My heart sank. I don't know if I'm ready for this. Dad pushed my shoulder a bit. I looked over at him. He smiled. "You gotta take chances, honey." I looked down at the ticket and stood up. I grabbed my bags and walked off to the terminal. I stopped and looked back. I ran back to Mom and Dad. I pulled them into a hug. I cried. I'm scared to leave. Dad pulled back. "You can't look back. You have to leave the nest. You have to explore and discover things about yourself. We will be here when you want to come back." I nodded. He kissed me on the forehead and nudged me off a bit. I know it was lovingly, but I can't bear to leave my family. Bam is also my family. I'll be going to him. I slowly walked backwards and to the terminal. I waved to my parents. They waved back. This was terrible.

I was finally on the plane. I walked through and looked for my seat. The whole row was empty. I sat in the window seat and waited for someone to come sit down. Nobody did. I had a whole row to myself. Goddamn Bam. I probably look like the biggest douchebag. These people probably think I paid for a whole row for myself. The stewardess went through all the safety protocols, and the plane took off. This ride is 6 hours long. I'm going back to bed.

"Miss? Excuse me?" I jump up and look over to the voice. A tall, skinny, blonde lady in a uniform. The flight attendant. "Yes?" I said, wiping the little bit of drool off my face and fixing my hair. "The flight is over. Would you like some help getting your stuff?" I looked out the window; the plane landed. It was getting dark outside. I looked at the time on the screen in front of me. 6:47 pm. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry. I barely slept last night. I'll get my stuff; I got it." I jumped out and started to get my things out of the overhead bin. She giggled. "It's okay! I get it. I don't get a lot of sleep with this job, so I, like, totally get it." I smiled at her, bringing my stuff down to the ground and walking out of the plane to the lobby of the airport. 

I walked through the halls alone. It was quiet and dark. Why weren't there any lights on? Maybe one or two in the whole hallway were on. I started to walk slowly through the hall. This was scary. The lights suddenly turned off. It was dark. No noise. I didn't know where I was to begin with, and now I basically have no vision. I started to hug towards the wall. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Four- I run into something and stumble back. My free hand that wasn't holding any bags moves up to feel whatever I ran into. It's not a wall? It's soft? Like a body. Oh my god. It's a body.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I'm trying to fin-" I start apologizing

 The lights turn back on for a split second.  I was able to get an okay glimpse of this person, and my heart nearly stopped when I looked up at their face. It was like something straight out of a nightmare. The skin looked horribly burned and scarred, twisted and melted in places with deep, angry red wounds. It was vomit-inducing. Their eyes were sunken deep in dark shadows, staring at me with a cold, merciless glare. The person was bald; the scars and burns went across their whole head. Their mouth was stretched into a cruel, jagged grin, revealing blackened, uneven teeth that seemed to sneer right at me. I couldn't tell if it was real or not. It didn't matter anyway. My fight or flight kicked in. I shrieked. I lifted one of the bags in my hand and swung with all my might.

"Ow! What the fuck!" I ran past the person, looking for the exit into the lobby.

When I turned the corner, there was someone at the end. It was a small body at the end of the hall in front of the exit sign. I went to run back the other way I came, but I was met with the same face again. I was closer this time. It kind of looked like...a mask? What the fuck is going on? I saw a little streak of light coming from a door behind him. I looked backwards at the creature in the corner. He wasn't moving. I looked back at the man in front of me and swung again. This time he caught my arm.

"Stop hitting me! It's just a-" I didn't let him finish. I lifted my leg and kicked him between the legs. He doubled over in pain, groaning.

"Fuckin' bitch."

The small frame behind me started laughing. I ran to the small light. The door swung open in my face; I stopped before it hit me. The light in the hall came back on. Bam walked out the door, smiling. "I told you guys you would get hurt." He laughed. I was so confused, still shaking. I looked behind me. Jason was standing in front of the door, laughing so hard he was turning red. In the middle of the hall was Dave, on the ground, unable to breathe. Sorry.. I looked back at Bam and nudged him.

"What is wrong with you guys? I almost had a heart attack."

I watched as everyone came out of their hiding spots. Crew members and cameras surrounded me. Everyone was laughing, the hardest, Johnny. I saw him, and my heart fell to my stomach. He looked so attractive. I mean, I've seen him on TV. I've seen pictures. I've talked to him on the phone. But none of that compares to how he looks in real life.

We walked out to the lobby, letting the film crew pack up their stuff. Everyone re-introduced themselves.

"Hey, we should go for drinks!" Stephen exclaimed, trying to get everyone riled up. Dave declined, saying he had to rest because of what had just happened a couple of minutes ago. "I'm so sorry, Dave." I apologized, following him to his own car. He chuckled. "It's fine, Y/n. I've been through worse." I nodded and let him get in the car. Ehren and Chris passed on the offer as well, getting in the car with Dave. I waved to them, saying goodbye. "We'll see you sometime tomorrow," Ehren said while rolling up the window. "Okay." I smiled and walked back to the sidewalk with Ryan, Bam, Stephen, Johnny, Jason, and Preston. Jason and Preston walked to their own car, saying the same thing. They were tired and wanted to get back home. We watched as they all carpooled away. I turned back to the others.

(this is unedited please let me know about any errors! thank you!)

"You feel anything?" "I feel horny dude" "Me too"

Jackass Season 2, Episode 4 End Credits

2001