#awkwarddater

Okay, so I'm sick of living in the past with all of these dates that seem forever ago. So here's a chronological summary of what happened with each guy between the last time we chatted and the end of the school year. I'll come back to these random dudes occasionally to fill in details as needed or do a mental/emotional "throwback Thursday," but otherwise I think it's time to live in the present, so I'm not eternally playing catch up.

λ        HoofClaw: I told him I wasn't ready to date, it was awko taco, Mac told me I needed to clarify I wasn't friend-zoning him, I sat with him in chapel, we went to a track meet together, I told him I liked him & he told me he was depressed and wasn't ready for a relationship (so I was basically friend-zoned); oh, and my advisor asked why we weren't dating. I think he hates me now. :(

λ        Cracker and I hung out a few times purely as friends. He asked me to Lacrosse banquet (I freaked out at him), but lacrosse banquet was super duper great. Maybe he's not such a bad guy :)

λ         CreekZ and I went on a blind date, which was soso much fun. I was incredibly nervous, but it went better than I ever expected. I asked him to Cheer banquet, at which he had a cold so he was high on benadryl, but you could barely tell. He was the best date I have ever had for a banquet (maybe even better than Cracker at lax banquet). He owes me Jamba Juice, but since he's going back to Oklahoma to work....He says he'll still redeem it, but who knows? I need to give up the idea of him liking me as more than a friend, because he's terrified of dating. He's blocking his own shots, which, as my mom told me when I told her he was doing that, is pretty much impossible to do. 

I told one other person before I left for spring break about what I would be pondering for almost the entirety of spring break. Who, you ask? Well, Kate Pendant, of course!

          The next morning I didn't know how to act around HoofClaw and Mikey in Physiology class. I was SO awkward-even more awkward than normal! I went to breakfast afterwards, because I wouldn't be using all of my meals since I was leaving that day to go home for spring break. I went with my friend Mac.

           After eating for a few minutes I realized I would tell her sooner or later, and I would really appreciate her wisdom sooner rather than later. "So, last night HoofClaw took me to Denny's..."

           "yeah....?" Mac said with a knowingly sheepish grin. My jaw dropped open. She knew too?? Mac laughed. "I just want to say I called it that you were going to say you needed to think about it." My mind exploded into a thousand and two tiny shards of blown out material. How did she know? "Mikey told me." Ah. Of course. What else could I expect? "So what are you thinking?" She wanted to know what I would tell HoofClaw.

When we got back from Outback Steakhouse, Mikey and Ash wanted us to watch a Disney movie with them, but I didn’t really feel like that would be fun. After HoofClaw and I debated for a while, we decided to run on the indoor track. Even though he hates running, I’m training for a half marathon, so he agreed to run. He says he hates running, but I think that’s just a ploy to make him feel more manly. 

We ran about two miles, and then got to talking. We talked about a lot of stuff, and if I thought he had poured out his heart BEFORE, I would be shocked at how he poured it like Niagara Falls NOW. We kept talking lap after lap. Although I was enjoying the conversation I knew he usually went to bed as early as he can. “How long do you want to walk around, HoofClaw?” 

Longus (Daphnis and Chloe)

We all want the best for our friends. After all, they ARE our friends! However, sometimes their best intentions can actually cause the best for us to become a drag. A burden. An encumbrance. 

I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but it is definitely currently happening to me. For example:

Brought to you by GoatClaw...a sad song.

Keep looking for love. 

One day (On the 22nd to be precise), I went to the Chicago Magnificent Mile Lights Festival. My friends and I returned and Dora and I were debating whether or not we should go to the football party at the Alpha House. 

In the end, we decided that we would go for a few minutes to "make an appearance." The worst part about all of this was that I had dressed for keeping my coat on constantly, so I was wearing a man's flannel shirt under an oversized sweater with a deer on it over a black underarmor shirt. Needless to say, I felt pretty self-conscious. We got there when relatively few people were there, but we knew most of them so it wasn't very awko-taco.

Of course I noticed CreekZ right when he walked in. How could I not? My heart beat a million beats per minute. He's so hot. I thought mid dance move. I casually walked over there and asked for his dance move. He was either ashamed of the deer sweater, or didn't recognize me. A few minutes later I was so flipping hot that I took off everything but the oversized flannel shirt. I had already gotten about a gazillion, "grandma sweater" jokes, so I wanted to change the party rep I was getting. 

Dora started playing water pong, at the same time Glory and Heart showed up. I went back upstairs to dance with them, and Kanye West's "Mercy" song came on. CreekZ came over and shouted mid-leap "This is your song!" At that moment the song ended. Awko-taco. He and I kind of stood/danced for a bit. After a while I asked if he was good at water pong. "Nooo." I heard above the music, "I'm pretty bad." I told him that I was too. "...Do you want to play?" I nodded and we went downstairs. 

We were horrendous, but so was the team we were playing. Because of this, the game was so long that the party ended while we were playing. Afterwards, I didn't know if I should walk out with him, because I didn't know if he would be ashamed/if I would be pushy if I did that. He caught me as I was gathering the clothes I had taken off. "My bike doesn't really work very well." He was telling me as we walked out. Some kid smoking weed caught me by the hood of my coat as I was trying to go down the porch stairs. I "forcefully pushed him away." CreekZ pretended not to notice. No awko-taco. We walked back to my dorm, and I didn't want to see him go.