have an urge to create an online presence
post something in a discord server
instant regret! overwhelming shame!
its been hours at this point and i still feel awful!

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have an urge to create an online presence
post something in a discord server
instant regret! overwhelming shame!
its been hours at this point and i still feel awful!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
it takes so much effort be the bare minimum of a person, to be distinct entity that that can be interacted with, and itās rarely something i can make myself do. frustrating as hell
hate wanting to have an online presence but feeling that iām somehow ontologically terrible and inadequate
I donāt feel like a person, I donāt have any sense of identity that I share with the outside world (do I have any identity at all? is anything about me even real?). I donāt leave any trace of myself behind; I want to be known, and yet i guess I don't have enough energy or desire to change any of the things that result in me living like this. So i continue to exist in this unsatisfying, half-formed state.
wish I had the confidence to say for sure that Iām not faking or exaggerating my mental illnesses

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I need my golden crown of sorrow My bloody sword to swing My empty halls to echo With grand self-mythology
- Florence and the Machine |Ā King
cw for discussion relating to ableism/saneism towards NPD
(itās mostlyĀ just me complaining about my therapist dw)
again considering the possibility of me having szpd in addition to avpd and npd. feels strange, feels organic