𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓 ;; LILANA.
He stared out at the eternity that sat before him and how she’d been as beautiful as the day she died, and even long before that. How she made one of the worst days of his life look so good was beyond him. To realize you love someone and lose them far sooner ached in a way no drink or drug could numb. He had to live with that. More literally than anyone knew, more than he even knew possible. It hadn’t been his family or tenth-grade teacher; it was his first real, true love that watched him in purgatory as he unraveled in her absence. She was there, but not really, not how he wished she was. How she used to be when he could love her. The way she deserved until he stole it all. Astor couldn’t forgive himself; how could she? “Can you stop just sitting there and staring at me? It's freaking me out." That, and the fact that she was there at all. "I need like a second to process."
🌙 — ATTN: @faderadio















