#antific

Not because I don't have strong opinions about the normalization of abuse and bigotry in media, or governments having legally backed means to censor anything they can portray as intrinsically lacking merit, or about how some forms of media can and do have negative impacts on people who consume it if not approached with tact and mindfulness, or about how the inherent need to hypercategorize every piece of artwork as either "morally correct respectful depiction of difficult topics" or "disgusting degen gooner fetish that reflects on the inherent evil present in its creator" with little nuance contributes directly into discouraging original thoughts and interpretations of media, contributing to purity culture

But because the inherent balance of "pro and anti" are a direct side effect of that lack of nuance and both tend to see any dissent from their label, regardless of reasoning, as ethically and morally impure.

I'm not entirely sure which blog of mine i should be posting this to. As this has become more then what i originally intended.

As an adult in fandom spaces. Something I've noticed is that there is a SERIOUS issue with kids not really knowing what REAL signs of grooming or abuse looks like.

They're quick to jump to stances of "Profic/ship" or "Antific/ship" because they're trying to solve some kind of "issue" with fiction or shipping. But the issue they keep going to doesn't actually have anything to do with the Fiction itself.

I'm generally antific.

!! TW's are in the tags, but if you do not have the tags blocked I will list here. Anything mentioned next is below the cut. TW SA mentioned, TW pedophilia mentioned. Proceed with caution. !!

I think both communities have gone way too far, though my main gripe is with the anti-shipping community and how it seems to be almost normalized to bully others on the internet, to tell people to take their own lives for what they ship. Can shipping be used in a way to harm others? Yes and no, it's both, varies on a person to person basis. "But incest/loli/shota is disgusting!" I agree, but I am unsure telling people to kill themselves will make it any better. (Except for the Ruroni Kenshin author, that man had several TB of CP on his fucking computer, He should have been blacklisted and sent to fucking jail) Can fiction affect reality and vice versa? Yes and no, It's an inherently complicated situation and a person to person sort of thing. Example: The situation with Jaws as well as certian folks seeing the book Lolita as a romance (It is not, it is a horrific story from the perpestive of the predator and unfortunately, there have been some who have fallen for that perspective.) Are there predators in the proshipping community? Yes. Are there predators in the anti-shipping community? also yes.

Like, I've seen a bunch posts and comments like 'antis are so unhinged, they'll dox and send death threats and CP to proshippers' or 'proshippers are so gross, they're groomers and pedos who send gross stuff and death threats to antis'.

Like, most people aren't doing either of those. And the vast majority of these posts and comments basically revolve around one bad person, like the post is a screenshot of this one account's posts or this comment is someone talking about a specific interaction they had with one account, it's never really about something that's common in the whole community.

But I've seen so many posts that seem to assume it is a thing in the entire community and that's an issue. Antis and proshippers really got to stop assuming the worst in the others, it's just making fandom a toxic place to be, and I think it's making reasonable conversations hard to have.

You have a dog phobia. You have good and valid reasons to have a dog phobia -- there was a traumatic, dog-related event in your childhood that has left you with a crippling fear. Dogs are actually a trigger for you, in the medical sense of the word, not just the popular meaning that they make you uncomfortable.

Some of your neighbors have dogs. Many of the bars and stores in your city are dog-friendly. There is a dog park on the route you take to and from work.

Obviously, you can't tell everyone in the world to stop having dogs. You also can't tell everyone in the world to warn you about their dogs. People are allowed to have dogs. People are allowed to exist, with their dogs, in public and in private, without tiptoeing around your specific phobia. Your friend who loves dogs adopting a puppy is not a violation against you, and you don't have the right to be offended or upset by it, because it doesn't have anything to do with you.

This does not mean dogs should be allowed to run free. Dogs are expected to be trained and controllable. Dogs that are violent or dangerous are taken away from their owners. There are rules in place, but those rules do not exist for you.

You could, possibly, become a shut-in. You could avoid every single place in your city that you know is dog-friendly and drive a different route so you don't need to see the dog park. In fact, I would argue you should do that! It requires you taking responsibility for your phobia by actively making changes to your life and routine that will benefit you, rather than sitting around complaining that people who have dogs are evil and should cater to your trigger, but it will have significantly greater positive effect than the alternative.

But you still have neighbors who have dogs. You will still encounter dogs being walked in public. People online will share dog videos.

Which means that if you really, actually want to live a life where you aren't constantly being faced with your own worst trigger, then you need to work to overcome that trigger. You need to seek therapy, in whatever way that works for you. You need to actively strive to get over this fear. Maybe you'll never adopt a dog for yourself. Maybe you'll never be the kind of person who happily fawns over your friend's dogs. But you will, with time, be able to at least exist comfortably in the world, regardless of other peoples' pets or their life choices.

It is your responsibility to manage your triggers, not anyone else's.