seen from Australia
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Me sitting here wondering what this squeaking sound is only to realize it’s me wheezing. 🤦♀️
Spoiler: luckily, I did not die of an allergic reaction. Also, of course I really advise you do consult with your doctor first in such a situation instead of risking your life for a slightly quicker rescue of your private parts. 👀😅
Party host: There’s a gluten free option for you, I know you’re celiac
Me: that’s very nice of you, but I’m actually allergic to yeast, not gluten
PH: Oh
Me: all good, I’ll work out something to eat
PH: Don’t worry, I made sure there’s a gluten free option for you
Me: *who definitely specified that I was allergic to yeast not gluten when accepting the invite*
Me: I’ll just go buy myself something down the street and come back
PH: you don’t have to, there’s a gluten free-
Me:
I have eczema, specifically the type called Atopic Dermatitis. If you don't know what those words mean, let me break it down for you: atopic means "denoting a form of allergy in which a hypersensitivity reaction such as dermatitis or asthma may occur in a part of the body not in contact with the allergen" dermatitis means " a condition of the skin in which it becomes red, swollen, and sore, sometimes with small blisters, resulting from direct irritation of the skin by an external agent or an allergic reaction to it"
TL;DR means my skin hyper reacts to something wherever it feels like it
OR put even simpler, my skin gets MAD because of REASONS and then it yells "FUCK YOU" to me
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Ay yo shout out to all my allergy suffering brethren who gotta deal with runny eyes, a nose that's either clogged to high hell or fucking dripping like a leaky faucet, sore cheeks from the amount of rubbing away at tears you've done, having those sneeze fests that begin with slight coughing for some reason and end with a numb yet somehow still itchy nose, taking eyedrops yet still having to deal with runny eyes, taking so many non-drowsy meds that you start getting drowsy (yet still, they do fucking nothing), being unable to sleep easily because you cannot breathe through your nose and breathing through your mouth takes a bit to become rote again, and just generally suffering so much that, while you don't want to kill yourself, if God decided to put you out of your misery by smiting you down, you'd be thanking him profusely.
Can we please make it commonplace to mention if you have pets if you invite someone to your house? And then listen and make accommodations if that person has to back out because you have pets? Because if I have to go to one more person’s house and they say they have a cat or dog or other pet but “they don’t shed, it’s fine!” I’m going to combust.
Fuck my life, I’m goddamn furious that because I was too busy being stressed about my jackass relatives I missed the early signs of fucking anaphylaxis
I swear to fucking god, if I have to go to the hospital, I am sending them the bill for Christmas
