#agent seance

it’s a long way down, a long way down - a holy hell au inspired by the creep series

there are stories are stories on stories on stories about matches made in heaven. about two pure souls destined for the other, finally reaching a ‘happily ever after’ after going through trials and tribulations that, honestly, are played out and boring.

that’s exactly what fergus macleod would tell you, anway.

he’s been inhabiting his mortal coil for a few decades now, engaging in his favorite activity--serial murder.

but lately, something has--gone out.

he’s lost his light. his passion for killing.

so he gets an idea, and puts out an ad for a videographer.

he’ll make a documentary, he decides. a magnum opus to relight the blood and the violence that had brought him so much joy over the years.

what he didn’t expect was andi.

not her beauty. not her courage. not her wit, sharp enough to make a god bleed.

and not her fangs, and a thirst to rival his--even if her moral compass was a bit more lawful.

enough of stories about matches made in heaven.

talk to me about a match made in hell.

(these--particular films are not easy watches, though i personally enjoy them. the sequel is my favorite, but remember when i said ‘explicit sexuality’ in the first warning post? the especially applies to creep 2. when i imagined this au it was less in-line with the main narrative of the movies and more, say, a meet-cute story you’d overhear at an addams’ family function.)

mini soundtrack sampler includes: lovelytheband, ‘buzz cut’ + catfish & the bottlemen, ‘longshot’ + albert natural, ‘sara loves her juicy fruit’

red sun rises like an early warning - an ancient cares au inspired by sleepy hollow

sleepy hollow was often called a “sleepy” village, in the way that meant that nothing ever happened there. marie van tassel, daughter of the richest man in town--and immediately intrigued by the arrival of one police constable walter vaughn, sent all the way from new york city--would disagree. especially in recent years.

the headless horseman had returned.

and marie, for all the occult studying she’d done far from the gaze of her father’s watchful eyes, still so haunted after her mother’s brutal and untimely passing--couldn’t figure out why.

she knew exactly who he was. what he was. but why had he returned? what had woken him?

and could see really be that mournful, when it had sprung start the machinations of fate that brought walter right to her doorstep?

“i have shed my tears for boom... and yet my heart is not broken. do you think me wicked?”

“no... but perhaps there is a little bit of witch in you, marie.”

“walter, why do you say that?”

“because you have bewitched me.”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: frank sinatra, ‘witchcraft’ + creedence clearwater revival, ‘i put a spell on you’ + the rolling stones, ‘sympathy for the devil’

drunk and driven by a devil’s hunger - a safety nets au inspired by apostle, co-starring @agent-thorn​

it was only five years into the birth of an entirely new century, and her twin brother had been taken; her father, lost in his grief, was utterly useless.

it was all up to parker jensen.

she found a fake pass easy enough, slyly dancing her way through conversations with began with “you know, i don’t remember seeing you at any of the prayer meetings...” until finally, finally, they reached that accursed island.

she’d never been to wales before.

she had no idea what to expect.

what are you supposed to expect, when you’re all alone on a solo rescue mission going toe-to-toe with what can only be described as a cult?

but ivar--son of the enigmatic priest of the island, malcolm--was a nice surprise.

the only nice surprise that she’d find.

it wasn’t until she caught jeremy, sneaking home after what she could only guess had something to do with ffion, that she got her first flash of what would be a more and more grisly truth.

this island had its own god.

and something much more sinister than genesis had happened on this soil.

mini soundtrack sampler includes: bakar, ‘hell n back’ + mumford & sons, ‘little lion man’ + neil reid, ‘mother of mine’

let that fever make the water rise - a grace & choice au inspired by the ritual

it was supposed to be like a vacation. diana hadn’t had one in at least fifteen years. vida, even longer.

so why not hiking? why not the kungsleden--the king’s trail--in northern sweden?

the first two days were bliss. nothing but rolling hills, clear skies. up until:

“ah fuck!”

“vida--shit, vida, are you okay?”

“yeah, i’m--urk!”

“all right, that was not a reassuring noise, let’s have a look at that--”

vida’s left knee went from pink to a swollen blue to an agonized, deep purple tinged with green over the course of next day. diana couldn’t bear to watch her struggle to keep up, especially when this was supposed to be a romantic break, nothing as taxing as the fieldwork happening back home.

by the light of a campfire, diana studied their map, humming. “what if we just cut through the forest?” she asked. “if we just went as the crow flies... it cuts the time in half. and you need medical attention, vida, we can’t keep going on like this.”

“has the battalion cleared this area?” vida returned her question with one of her own, eyes shining. the reflection of the fire made them look like stones polished by a river. “we wouldn’t run into anything, would we?”

diana smiled. “nothing we couldn’t handle, love, i’m sure.”

and diana didn’t change her mind when they set off the next morning... up until they found the disembowled carcass of an elk, placed up high in a tree like a religious icon.

she thought of morgan.

“diana, what--what put that up there? something had to have put that up there!”

mini soundtrack sampler includes: billie eilish, ‘bury a friend’ + two feet, ‘i feel like i’m drowning’ + coldplay, ‘paradise’

you can hear the river from my burial bed - a secret gardens au inspired by the legends of slenderman & mercy black, co-starring @agent-hood​

she wouldn’t say she wouldn’t remember. she did.

it was just that caroline janson had been in therapy for so long... she was no longer sure what of shards of her memories were real, and what would be, as dr. ward would say, hallucinations.

but she knew one thing: she was glad to be coming home.

“i hope chicken’s okay for your first night back,” parker began gently. “i’m just now realizing i forgot to ask--”

caroline smiled at her, “chicken would be great.”

she watched parker’s profile, as she opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. finally, she inhaled, then began, “you know... carter’s missed you since you’ve been gone...”

caroline rolled her eyes. “parker. it’s been a decade and a half. i seriously doubt it.”

“hey, who knows my brother better right now, me or you?”

that earned a huff... and a grin. subdued, but still there. “... okay. fine. but... maybe not tonight.” parker glanced at her once, and nodded.

“i understand. besides, maybe i want you all to myself for the first few days, anybody think about that?”

and caroline laughed.

and she wished that it felt like she wasn’t still being haunted.

mini soundtrack sampler includes:  oingo boingo, ‘dead man’s party’ + shaed, ‘trampoline’ + corrina repp, ‘only a beat’

don’t let it shake your steady thread-cutting hand - a royals & robots au inspired by kristy

it was hardly tilde’s idea to spend thanksgiving alone harvard. but between the pandemic, the weather, and her own growing agitation at her father’s behavior...

it just seemed easier.

and it wasn’t all bad. she still had prudence, who opted to stay with her out of love (and perhaps a lack of family--but she didn’t ask). and they had run of essentially the entire campus--there were several buildings that stayed opened, even over the holiday. the library being one.

but it wasn’t until one night, when they made a late night trip to a convenience store not far from tilde’s housing that things became... strange.

“pru. ... pru!” she whispered, snacks in one hand, the other on pru’s elbow. “... i think she’s following us.”

“she?” pru asked, lowly, careful to keep her eyes down, as if they were just having a very, very difficult time decided on what kind of poptarts they wanted.

tilde, face oddly blanched, couldn’t find her voice, so she just nodded.

at the end of the aisle, a figure in dark hoodie and skinny jeans passed out of view.

one of pru’s arms went around tilde’s waist. “don’t worry. i’m sure she’s just here at the same time as us. it’s a small store.”

tilde would remember that when she got home in time to find a snuff film loaded onto her laptop.

“oh shit--oh shit, oh god--!”

this is why she preferred halloween.

the roanoke society.

agent seraphim.

agent succubus.

agent houdini.

agent lycan.

the scribe.

lilith.

agent sprite.

agent seance.

agent crowley.

agent specter.

mothman.

agent ondine.

agent arizona.

agent cherub.

agent rougarou.

agent annabelle.

technical officers wyvern, drake & longma - the washington avenue project.

agent sentinel.

agent zed.

agent elfin.

agent nova.

agent zenith/charlie hesketh.

agent phoenix.

agent judas.

agent pru.

agent hood.

technical officer rook.

agent chimera.

agent nightcrawler.

agent iuniore.

agent cerberus.

agent archivist.

agent thorn.

agent exorcist.

agent nephilim.

agent ainsel of the borley council.

technical officer signal.

agent bracken.

technical officer delta.

agent jötunn.

former agent nova.

technical officer alvinne.

technical officer theta.

agent umbriel.

statesman.

champ.

agent whiskey.

agent tequila.

agent rum.

ginger ale.

kingsman.

former agent galahad.

agent galahad.

agent lancelot.

merlin.

repubblica dei lupi.

agent pantalone.

agent colombina.

agent alichino.

princess tilde.

succubus having a snark-off with tony stark. harry just watches over a glass of scotch and can’t stop smiling at the verbal sparring.

loki enthralled with houdini’s ability to change her appearance, almost just like he can. (jack can’t decide if he trusts him or not but refuses to let them be alone in the same room just in case.)

lycan and bruce having a quiet conversation over hot chocolate or tea, because sometimes their other selves feel like monsters, but it’s still them. and they are not monsters. eggsy approaches her after, overhearing them: “amy you--you know that no one sees you like that, don’t you?”

pepper potts losing her mind over how well the scribe keeps her records. all that information organized to perfection. vida just smiles. “i’ve... had a long time to practice.”

bucky barnes being very, very selective over who he lets tinkers with his arm--and saying yes without a pause when sprite asks to look at it. even tequila’s fascinated.

agent seance has seen a lot, heard a lot, walked through years and years and years. natasha romanoff hasn’t. but seance knows what that kind of weariness looks like. the black widow doesn’t like to talk about the red room. but she likes to talk to andi.

agent specter, watching both enamored and a little anxious as clint fires arrow after arrow at mothman. joe catches each one, and it vanishes. it’s all fun and games until: “joe? i’m gonna get my arrows back, right? ... joe. ... joe!”

agent ondine playing diplomat to a very, very enthusiastic phil coulson, who quietly confesses to her: “y’know, i always loved the little mermaid. i knew they were real, i knew it!”

agents arizona and phoenix, sitting and relaxing with gamora and peter quill, drinking strong beer and looking on as raziel and nereus try to teach drax, groot and rocket the fine, kentucky art of corn hole.

agents cherub and rougarou marveling at the machinery that lets james rhodes walk like he never almost fell to his death, taking notes as quickly as they can, because science this sophisticated is virtually indistinguishable from magic. he is a walking medical wonder.

at first, annabelle refuses to go near wanda maximoff. wanda understands. it’s only after annabelle sees her in the gardens, helping the flowers grow with a gentle touch, that she finally, very cautiously approaches her. wanda’s hand movements look like sign language, and in her way--annabelle teaches her to speak.

agent sentinel finding something he recognizes in sam wilson. “so... you were a soldier, too?”

agent thorn may or may not have managed to rig what he calls a trebuchet (it’s--something, yes, but ‘trebuchet’ might not be a strong enough descriptor). agent zed and roxy watch as agent hood loads up anything she can grab into her brother’s contraption. and thorn fires it off, but it’s all right. pietro maximoff never misses a catch, no matter the strength or distance.

scott lang thinks he’s a master magician. agent elfin isn’t sure he agrees, having been around the courts for so long, but... he humors him.

and i’d like for you to think about peter parker, excitedly asking agent nova and charlie over tacos, “what do you mean there are other universes? how many are there? wait, how--how many many have you been to?”

agents judas and exorcist aren’t--entirely sure, of stephen strange. but stephen, as it turns out, is not a stranger to internal religious struggles. especially after what he’s seen. they talk theology over tea and it’s easily the most bizarre conversation that agent poltergeist has ever eavesdropped on.

vision is fascinated with pru because of what she is; technical officer signal is fascinated by vision because of what he is (along with drake, longa, wyvern--vision has a fan club).

agent chimera meeting wade wilson and being positive that, somehow, they’re both related. the fact that their senses of humor are almost identical doesn’t help.

agent nightcrawler talking about north american cryptozoology with t’challa, who describes the twilit afterlife realm where his father now resides. then another story, and another, and another, and nightcrawler makes a mental note to check in with the crane circle, and see how far the influence of wakanda reaches in their organization.

and shuri? shuri’s amazed at some of the things that come out of iuniore’s mouth. “so it’s true. big things, small packages!” (and the white lady figures later that it’s probably shuri’s fault that tina can’t seem to stop quoting vines.)

carol, sitting on the porch, with cerberus next to her. she’s eating an apple. “so. a scientist in a dog’s body?” “essentially, fraulein.” carol thinks of goose, and wonders how many animals she’s seen that are much more than they appear to be. “... nice.”

mantis tries to get a handle on agent archivist and... can’t. but she’s not afraid, no. mostly just engrossed. “oh--oh! there’s so much in there, it’s like a big garden! ... a lot of black, but it’s very interesting!”

and i rather like the idea of heimdall trying midgard coffee for the first time with agent nephilim and agent ainsel, on a quiet sunday morning. he watches how nephilim looks at her. it reminds him of how odin and freya looked at each other, long ago.

lilith and nick fury sharing glasses of bourbon, talking about how much they love their very dangerous, and very powerful children.

merlin, standing in a doorway, watching seraphim carefully arming herself with  a very specific shield. the captain grins, although the exorcist’s expression is a bit more lined in awe. ”i know--it’s heavier than it looks.” (later he’d murmur softly by her ear, “leadership looks good on y’, dove.”)