#agent tequila

Agent Tequila had only one duty for today: take the rest of his day off and simply be Raymond Müller. He walked to the stables with his gums sore, feeling pretty exasperated from a mission the day before yesterday, and rolled his shoulders while stretching his stiff neck to the side.

"'Ey there, Spirit, you're lookin' like ye' got some wind in ya' for a good ol' ride across the borough." He mused as his hands gently stroked the gorgeous brown mane of his favorite (and well, only) horse.

Just then, there came a sound of knocking on the barn doors and Tequila snapped his head towards the sound, racking his head for a good few seconds as to who it might be before his face lit up. "Come in, pumpkin!"

The barn doors opened and in walked the most beautiful boy in the states that Tequila had ever known in the world, you. There was a soft glow in his eyes and a slow warmth settling in his chest as he grinned at you. "Well, Spirit, looks like our li'l ride's gonna have to wait." He leaned against the wall next to his horse's stable who neighed loudly in complaint, resting his head against the guards before motioning the space next to him. "Lean in, sugarplum. We got the whole mornin' before Spirit 'ere starts neighing like a horse out for a reckonin'."

You giggled at his joke as you approached him before pausing in front of him and noticing how his hands began to shake and fidgeted for his empty pockets. Tequila noticed your gaze lingering a little too long on his quivering lips concerningly and bit it down to stop it from quivering. But you're not one to be fooled by this cowboy's bad attempts at suppressing his withdrawal symptoms and hide how he really feels about it. You dig into your own pocket, taking out a pack of gum and peeling the wrapper before handing it over to Teqs.

He smiled, but it came out a little strained than usual. "Thanks, sweetie pie, ye' didn't have to." His hands shook as he took the gum from your hand and chucked it into his mouth before chewing on it promptly. "Mmm… Tastes like powder from a horseshoe." You raised a brow at him, not even sure what that means. "Strong, and a bit iron-y." Teqs let out a melodic laughter when you nudged him for beating around the haystacks. "Alright, alright, what I meant ta' say was, this flavor got my mouth in a shitfire."

You sighed, knowing that that pack of gum was actually just a freebie from a shopkeeper out of town, but smiled knowing that this was just part of your boyfriend's usual dramatics to lighten the mood. The corner of his lips twitched upwards seeing your smile and he tipped his hat over his face, somewhat obscuring the way his eyes glinted with adoration. But from this angle where you can see under the brim of his cowboy hat, you knew better and blushed at the sight of this rare moment of softness from him.

"Ye' know, cookie, life's been hotter than hinges lately. But my momma always told me that ain't nothin' more embarrassin' than tuckin' your tail and turnin' back asswards." Tequila flashed a toothy smile at you. "Plus, I have you now, apple pie. And ain't no life as crass and bitter as a farmer's boots when yer' around."

You sheepishly smiled and tilted your head up to kiss his cheek. Coincidentally, at the same time, Spirit neighed disapprovingly, to which Tequila laughed heartily. "Ye' even got Spirit jealous. Ain't ever seen a horse as split as frog's hair split three ways. That's how much ye' mean to me, sugar." He leaned down to kiss your forehead, his lips warm against your skin. When he parted from the kiss, his eyes locked onto yours as he tucked a stray lock of your hair behind your ears.

In your eyes, he saw a future he never really thought about before. The future that made him finally quit smoking once and for all. And now that the only things he really had were work, you, and the horse, he would do anything to secure that future for both you and him. No matter how many sucky British lads come in with their fancy suits and collars or how much mud he had to stick himself in to keep himself afloat, his home was you, here in Kentucky, with a jealous horse who didn't quite approve of another guy getting his attention.

"Well, don't just stand there, sugarplum. Gimme some sugar." But before you can actually do anything yourself, he already laid his lips flat on yours and his breath smelled like alcohol and the chewing gum you had given him. You inhaled it unashamedly and smiled against his lips. Another loud neigh made Tequila step back and part lips and he sighed in exasperation.

"Better take this girl out fer a stroll before she shatters my balls with that kick of hers." Tequila adjusted the hat sitting on his head and placed a hand on his hip, cocking it to the side. Your expectant gaze made the corner of his eyes crease as a smirk graced his lips. "Don't look at me like that, sweetie pie. I promise I'll take ye' for a ride one of these days, just not today when my horse's lookin' like she'll dip you in a mud puddle."

That wasn't the response you quite expected but seeing as Spirit did seem a little too mean-spirited for the day and that you still had some other places to be, you let it be with a sigh and the horse let out an arrogant snort.

Tequila stared at you fondly with a look that said he wasn't quite done with you for the day and as he watched you turn away with a wave of your hand, he leaned back against the wall once more and looked on longingly. Spirit whined.

"Atta girl, don't gimme that look. She's the best boy anyone can ask for." Tequila smiled to himself before finally turning towards the whiny horse and placing both hands on his hips. "Now, we oughta get both you and I some fresh air and ride with the wind, partner."

But as the day unfolded before him, Tequila knew that he wouldn't be able to get you out of his mind and Spirit snorted, sensing your lingering presence in his master even without you physically there.

A = Aftercare

His mama taught him to be a gentleman, he will clean the mess he makes, even if it mean bathing you and changing the sheets before sleep.

B = Body parts

On you: Your mouth and arms, not only he loves having your mouth and hands on him he loves to kiss you or just keep constantly holding and playing with your hands.

On him: His chest and back, scratch, bite, caress, massage, anything, just keep touching him.

C = Cum

While in mission he is hyper conscious about it even after having a vasectomy (see letter W), double checking condoms and stopping to breath before ejaculating so he can have total control. In intimate moments he's physically unable to pull out and loves seeing it drip off of you afterwards.

D = Dirty secret

He still finds shotgun kisses hot, even after quitting smoking. Uses the skills he gained as a spy against you.

E = Experience

Let's be real, it's part of his job to sleep with the enemy, amd nobody can convince me he wasn't a problematic fuckboy when he was a "rodeo clown" (whatever that means, there's a lot of professions that work in rodeos). So Tequila is pretty much experienced and skillful. Also, he knows how to be performative and just play a role as means to get information.

F = Favorite position

Cowgirl (duh!) , he just loves watching you ride him, or then missionary with your legs around his waist, never fails.

G = Goofy

If it's part of a mission he might crack a joke here and there just to help the illusion of genuine intimacy. If it's with his partner, however, after sex he might just be the goofiest guy you've ever met.

H = Hair

He shaves regularly, it's protocol (it's not, that's just his excuse for almost everything).

I = Intimacy

You can bet he's kissing you everywhere his lips can reach, calling you with petnames and saying endearments in his thick accent. If you praise him he will get cocky to mask the way it really tugs his heartstrings.

J = Jack off

In a phone call with you, grunting about how much he misses you.

Outside making a show for you? Not often, he prefers just having sex, and when he can't, adrenaline and stress usually prevent him from getting a moment for himself. But when he does it's just a quick relief in the shower.

K = Kink

Likes being bitten and slapped, absolutely loves being covered in hickeys, wont ask for it tho. Will keep his boots and hat until you point it out.

L = Location (favorite outside of bed)

Backseat of his truck (he has one, right?), kitchen counter, empty interrogation room and cellar.

M = Motivation

Being able to make you stumble on your words, Tequila likes to make you get lost as you try to tell him a story, bonus points if he's "interrogating" you. Keep talking, he's listening everything.

N = No

Humiliation, anything that'd risk his neck and head.

O = Oral

Skilled and experienced, will get offended if you try to stop him before you finished.

He prefers giving, and only accepts receiving if you two are in a established relationship as he gets extremely vulnerable during it, but still will get anxious over probably hurting you.

P = Pace

He will adjust to your preference, if you force him to decide pacing he'll set a steady medium rhythm and carry it until the end.

Q = Quickie

The Statesman doesnt really have strict dressing clothes, but a bulletproof bodysuit underneath is mandatory. In other words, quickies between work hours are extremely inconvenient. And in his days off he rathers to take his time, not like he'd say no if you asked, but it's not something that he fancies.

R = Risk

Though he might be open to trying new things, don't expect him to be the one suggesting ideas.

S = Stamina.

Considering he's a deadly trained spy you can expect he'll have quite a lot of stamina to keep up with a civilian.

T = Toys

He probably has some vibrators, the discret, waterproof type he'll keep on his car and bedroom. Does he use them? Not frequently, the buzzing bothers him, but it's worth it if he gets to see you melt.

U = Unfair

A lot, he will tickle you, it's a must. And if you're not southern? He will purposely thicken his accent, speak in local slang and not explain anything just to confuse you.

V = Volume

Again, he'll probably perform according to the situation. But in intimate moments he'll likely groan and mumble a lot.

W = Wild card (random headcanon for the character)

He probably had a vasectomy, having a family with his profession is quite risky and as long as sleeping with the enemy is a protocol on the Statesman it's better not risk.

Cowboy boots stiffen the feet, if you offer him a massage he'll be extremely grateful.

X = X-ray

Scars, lots of them, from fights before the Statesman. Probably a tattoo on his back or chest, old school style, that he keeps hidden under his clothes now.

Medium length but quite thick.

Y = Yearning

He gets pent up quite easily, enough to make long undercover missions a living hell.

Z = Zzz (how quick to fall asleep afterwards)