#agamenon

Odysseus running around beating people with a scepter (and the amount of joy he got from it)

Agamemnon prematurely mourning Menelaus, who is standing right next to him.

Zeus telling Ares he hates him the most of all his children. God damn. He really did just say that to his face didn’t he.

Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield

Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield and everyone still treating him like he’s their annoying little brother who they unfortunately sometimes have to kind of listen to.

Diomedes.

“What are you talking about?” I laughed out loud multiple times because of this line. I don’t know what it is, but every single time it’s said I just imagine the most baffled/annoyed expression and tone of voice on whoever was saying it and I just. Lose it every time.

Helen being extremely passive aggressive the entire time she’s on the page. Seriously love her.

Helen believing her brothers didn’t come to war because they were ashamed of her, not knowing they have been dead for some time. It hurts and I love it.

Odysseus and Diomedes being sent on a spy mission and deciding that, after getting information from the Trojan spy, they are going to go to their camp and steal some horses. (And a chariot. And some armor, I think???) Utter chaos. They did not have to do this. This was A Choice.

Them coming back after stealing said horses and NOT A SINGLE PERSON QUESTIONS IT. IMPLYING THIS IS A NORMAL THING FOR THEM. AND THEY JUST,,,,,REGULARLY DO SHIT LIKE THIS.

Athena helping them.

The Trojans being annoyed with Paris

Nestor kicking Diomedes awake, who is, for some fucking reason, sleeping on the ground (?????)

Nestor.

Nestor going on long winded rants about His Day and his exploits. And everyone just kinda has to sit and listen to him talk.

Poseidon causing an earthquake so extreme Hades worried he was going to expose the underworld.

Artemis calling Apollo a baby for not wanting to fight Poseidon

Apollo ignoring her entirely. Peak sibling energy.

Achilles calling Patroclus’ ghost “true heart.” I know what you are.

Athena helping Diomedes in the funeral games.

Athena getting so mad Apollo made Diomedes drop his whip during said games she sabotaged Eumelus and made Diomedes’ horses run faster.

Antilochus threatening his horses into running faster.

This working.

Odysseus and Ajax wrestling and being so evenly matched that everyone gets tired of watching.

When they get up for round three Achilles telling them to “put not eachother further to such cruel suffering.”

The idea that Achilles was so sick of watching them that he compares it to actively being in pain.

Odysseus praying to Athena for help when he’s loosing the footrace.

Athena actually helping him.

Athena sabotaging Ajax and making him slip and fall face first into dung.

Ajax saying Athena hovers over Odysseus like his mother. Everyone finds this hilarious. Odysseus does not disagree.

Diomedes continually aiming at Ajax’s neck while fighting for a sword and armor. They are stopped by the rest of the Achaeans in fear for Ajax’s safety.

The Greeks? Well it depends on who we are talking about. Generally speaking, however, I am not in a position to speak highly of them, given that they attacked my city and injured and killed my men. Let me differentiate, however:

1. Agamemnon:

A cold-blooded tyrant. He cares about power and nothing more. He has always had an interest in Troy, and my brother's greed gave him the perfect reason to attack. Despicable.

2. Odysseus:

I do not trust this man one bit. He is a spy, a liar, and an egotist. I can not read him, I can never guess his intentions, and it worries me. I would not even dream of letting him near my family!

3. Menelaus:

Menelaus and I were once friends...good friends. I think about that often. He avoids me on the battlefield. I think he also thinks about how to maintain our friendship despite the war. He is a man of honor.

4. Achilles:

Many will probably wonder if I am afraid of him. The answer is no but he disgusts me. He is a child who takes the lives of countless Trojans every day for some glory and the worst part is, he seems to enjoy it.

5. Diomedes:

Bloodlust. A cold-blooded murderer. He is insane and even the Greeks know it. I heard he even messes with the gods? I guess that says it all about him.

6. Patroclus

I do not see him on the battlefield that often but when I do it is a reason to be scared. Still, rumors say he is a gentle man. I respect him because he can hold Achilles back. He seems to have control over him...so all I have to do is stay away from Patroclus or be good to him to avoid Achilles.....right?

7. Ajax the greater

- Diomedes. Bro is hands down one of the coolest Greek heroes, period. And yet he is so overlooked in every single adaptation. Some retellings cut him out entirely. And sure, he doesn’t contribute much to the grand scheme of the plot the same way Achilles or Odysseus does, but I feel like his story has so much potential for exploration and interpretation. His relationship with the other characters (especially Odysseus) is incredibly interesting, and he also has a badass and lowkey traumatizing backstory. Diomedes for the win.

- Menelaus. Again, super overlooked and underrated. So many retellings are hyper focused on the story of Paris and Helen; did she go along willingly? Was she kidnapped or coerced? (The answer to those questions depends on which writer you consult, so both interpretations are correct.) I feel like a lot of retellings portray Helen and Paris as star-crossed lovers and Menelaus as an old hag trying to separate them. Or they make Menelaus abusive or neglectful in order to find a reason for Helen to run away with Paris. He’s been villainized a lot, but in the myths he was one of the least morally questionable characters. His story would be so interesting. I want a thorough, in depth exploration of his relationship with Helen, with his brother Agamemnon, with his comrades, with his dad, etc. MENELAUS MY GUY they could never make me hate you.

- Hector and/or Andromache. One of the greatest couples of all time, yet their story ends so tragically. And it would be so cool to have a retelling following the Trojans, rather than the tradition of following the Achaeans. It would be kinda cool to have an alternating perspective sort of thing, like, one chapter from Hector’s perspective and on from Andromache’s perspective. Alternating perspectives would create a fun dichotomy between the two povs; Hector’s being the bloody and violent battlefield, Andromache’s being peaceful Troy. Until those two worlds collide, of course. These two (and Astyanax) deserved so much better.

- Agamemnon. Bear with me on this one, because it may seem questionable for a lot of people. Is he a misogynist jerk? Yes. Is he a horrible person? Of course. He’s a murderer, a slave owner, and a full-time asshole who sacrificed his own daughter. But is he a very compelling character? Absolutely. I’d like to know how he became this way, how he lost his moral compass, and how he has a complete lack of empathy for everyone except for Menelaus. I want to know about those two’s childhood, especially considering how messed up it probably was thanks to their dad and uncle. I’ve never read a book from the perspective of an all out horrible protagonist before, so I feel like this would be incredibly interesting. I’d like to see Agamemnon get so caught up and obsessive over his motives that he doesn’t even care about all the atrocities he’s committed at this point.

- Odysseus. This guy’s most well-known myth (The Odyssey) gets repackaged and pumped out in the form of books, movies, comics and musicals every other year since the Renaissance like Shrek or Kung Fu Panda (Sorry Pixar). But I’ve yet to read a single Trojan War retelling from his perspective. I wanna know more about his relationship with Agamemnon; is it exploitative? Is it mutually exploitative? Is it self-absorbed jerk x reluctant therapist? And also his relationship with Diomedes, since Ody did try to stab him. Mostly I wanna know how he came up with the Trojan horse, because I don’t understand how he just made that connection. ‘Ya guys, hear me out on this: A massive wooden horse…’ like bro what

- Paris. I know, I know, we’re not supposed to like him. He’s wrong for kidnapping Helen, but then again there are also many versions where she comes along willingly, and his characterization could be more than lustful, arrrogant coward. He’s a flawed person for sure, but he’s quite interesting. Paris is kind of giving Scott Pilgrim at times. I’d like to see him wrestle with the consequences of his actions and come to terms with his own selfishness and watch his kingdom crumble due to his own mistakes. Mostly because I like it when main characters get tortured, whether they deserve it or not. Once again, horrible actions, interesting character.

If any of yall have encountered a good retelling in the perspective of one or more of these characters, please let me know and I will scour the earth for it.

Mis opiniones:

Diomedes y Odiseo son de la cabaña 6 (Atenea) y no acepto discusiones.

Pienso que Macaón sería de la cabaña 7 (Apolo). También me imagino a Patroclo en esta porque me gusta verlo como un médico. Casandra, Heleno, Calcante y Enone también serían parte.

Agamenón, Aquiles y Héctor en la cabaña 1 (Zeus). Las cosas suelen ser... complicadas en ese lugar.

Menelao lo imagino en la cabaña 5 (Ares), porque en mi versión de la Ilíada siempre se refieren a él como "caro a Ares". Siento que Áyax el Grande también sería parte.

Paris en la cabaña 10 (Afrodita), junto a Helena (para su desgracia), pero de alguna forma Paris logra morir :D

Teucro sería de la cabaña 8 (Artemisa) por su habilidad en el arco y flecha.