#afterheartbreak

Hi, yesterday I had the vision to start doing a blog about the process that I am going through in my life, I really want to have this as a reminder of my progress, what I did to heal and forgive myself, a year ahead I want to look back and see how far I've came since I was in a loop for someone who didn't deserve my love.

I know, sounds crazy that I'm doing all this things because I have my heartbroken, but you know what? I gave all I have and now is time to re focus all that love, compassion, genuine interest to me, because I downplayed my role too many times for too many people and I was left empty and heartbroken, questioning my self worth, questioning what I was doing wrong, questioning myself and nop. NOP. I can allow this to happen again, I told myself that 2023 is going to be the year about ME, only me.

So, what am I doing to just focus on me?

I delete all my social medias, I was too focused stalking, checking everyone out and wasting my time, I promise to myself that I'm going to stop using social media for at least 6 months to 1 year.

I have post it in the wall of my room for every day that passes and I'm not stalking you, my dear. So I can see how far I've come and don't self sabotage myself.

I'm taking therapy and this time really taking advantage of it.

Meditating, all night before sleep so I can be in the present moment and listening to all my feelings, my emotions, to myself.

Working out, I haven't start yet because I'm feeling too depressed but I need to do it, am going to upload pictures before - after.

Studying, reading, doing yoga, having activities and hobbies that actually give me something to learn and help me to feel better.

I'm going to stop drinking/smoking too much, yes, I will have a glass of wine here and there but that's it. I'm not drinking every day, I'm not drinking to swallow my sorrows.

Most importante, my relationship with God. I was too focused with having a relationship with everyone but God and myself, that's out, I need God to give me direction in my life and purposes, I need to have spiritual discipline too. I'm going to visit church at least 2 times a month and pray everyday.

I learned that people treat me how I let them treat me and no, I'm don't want bad treatments, I don't want to get played again, I don't need to have my heartbroken for some random guy who never did anything for me. I want to live a soft life, have peace and feel love.

That's all I deserve, that's all I'm here for.

Yes its you 

the place i call home 

I know what they say

“home is where the heart is” 

but my heart has once again found home in a place so far from me

and every place i have ever known. 

I am from nowhere. 

I always reply vaguely when they ask me 

“where do you come from?”

I come from so many places, 

 have had so many addresses 

street names I never even bothered to remember. 

“I come from the sea” 

that place where the horizon meets the blue 

thats my home. 

You brought me back to the sea

in a way you brought me back home

The world talks about heartbreak like it’s a bad thing, but my greatest lessons have always been in losing. Because in every loss, I’ve gained something else.