#advice corner

be productive and draw/write

OR

spend a few hours playing deltarune instead?

Over the past few years, Wizard101 has been trying to add more variety to gameplay by introducing Advanced Combat, which focuses less on raw damage and more on hanging effects, the additional 'things' that can be present in battle. Because the cards have limited space on them, the developers have decided to use symbols to represent each hanging effect rather than type the entire word out.

This post should serve as a guide and dictionary to these hanging effects and their symbols. Later posts in this series will dive further into the nuances of Advanced Combat, such as the logic of Roshambo and how Gambits and Clears work.

Here; go read this thread real quick on Reddit:

Done? Cool. Let's have a talk about why you shouldn't freak out about minor setbacks during ritual or even during your daily life from the perspective of a channeler.

"I made my god/dess mad by knocking over a crystal or x object!"

No, you probably didn't. Let's break this down.

I know a lot of baby witches early on, myself included 15 years ago, were ex-Christians and if rural preachers are good at anything it's instilling the fear of the wrath of god. Now, I never took Catholicism very seriously, and the Christian God was never a big figure in my life to begin with because like, structured religion wasn't for me.

Still, there were times when little actions I thought, and according to pastors and preachers, would make big G God mad and make him take it out on me, and I full heartedly believed I was being punished for x reason. This was dumb then, and it's dumb now as a Pagan to think that knocking over a simple crystal or thing on my altar will make my matron or the other deities in my life mad for something so petty and minor.

The Gods are more complex than we give them credit for often. Unlike Catholicism or any other Christian sect (I use Catholicism because that's my area of experience but you can input any sect where applicable), the Gods and Goddesses we worship are far more human and fallible than big G God. Big G God, and this DOES vary sect to sect as I have discussed with a variety of friends over the years, is an omniscient being who can tell everything you did, think, or feel.

Sometimes he'll be mad for one of the seven deadly sins you commit, whether actively or by accident or instinct. Sometimes you didn't pray right. Christians have very specific sets of rules sometimes (sect to sect etc.) that dictate how they must do certain things. Some Pagan circles have that too. But the fact of the matter is, and you can take this from someone who has been here for awhile, and you can even take this if your a Christian struggling with their faith who just so happened to stumble across a witchcraft blog, it's not as big a deal as you make it if you fuck up.

As a channeler, who has Goddesses constantly in and out, they don't really like, care about the structure of the practice as much as they care about the intent. This is a rule of magicks as well. As long as you fuckin' like, try you'll probably be fine. Gods know I've fucked up prayers or rituals and no one has smote me yet. And my matron is a death Goddess, who, despite what other followers may tell you, is fairly chill with me. She doesn't get angry as long as I'm doing what she wants me to do or at least trying. If I knock over her bell via human error, she'll probably just be happy it made the good sound as it fell over. I don't think she's gonna kill me out of some implied disrespect for something so simple as human error.

2. "Oh no! The candle won't like no matter WHAT I DO! CLEARLY the Gods are angry!"

Bruh. Okay, let me explain something real quick.

You know that wax that melts as the candle burns? You know, the stuff that keeps the wick from just sizzlin' up like a well done steak (what is wrong with you) on a 103 degree (Fahrenheit because I'm a stupid American) day in the middle of summer in Florida?

Yeah, that wick can fold over while cooling down and get stuck in hardened wax, or bend while the fire of your lighter is melting the wax while trying to light the wick itself. In my previous post I don't think I mentioned this (see Last Ritual in This House, elsewhere on the blog) but I had a candle that didn't want to light.

Instinctively I thought, "Oh, maybe someone's mad" before I realized the other white candle lit perfectly without issue. Now this candle is a big fuckin' candle and the wick is very tiny. There's plenty of room for that wick to bend. And guess what? After closer investigation, I realized that's exactly what was going on. So I dug my dagger into the candle (which we'll get to) and lifted the wick out of the melted wax I had created by trying to uselessly light the wick, and aside from some laughter from the situation from one of the Goddesses present (probably Crow Mama) it lit perfectly and stayed burning the entire ceremony. No one was mad, no one was angry, this wasn't some wrathful thing for something I had done wrong. It was a natural occurrence, and nothing to freak over.

Candles can also act up based on air flow, and various other things. As you'll see on /r/Pagan (which is most of the time my outside-of-Tumblr location interaction with fellow members of the path; if you see me say hi, I won't bite) most little incidents like this are based on naturally occurring sources, not deity wrath.

3. "Oh no! I used the wrong chant/incantation/prayer/tool for x! My God/dess is gonna be pissed!"

I covered this earlier on, but unless you're in a closed practice or coven with very strict rules, you're fine. An Morrigan (also known as Na Morrigan but we'll get to this, stay with me here) knows I've fucked up prayers and chants and rituals and nothing bad happened to me. Your Gods are more chill than you give them credit for, unless they're actively assholes about it in which case, fair play. But like the post I linked said; "Your deity is not your abusive boyfriend." A little tiny infraction that is mostly in your head isn't gonna incur more than a bit of a temporary freak out, unless those circumstances I listed earlier are at play, in which I can't help you. Ask a coven member or someone more experienced to help you not fuck up next time if you're in those scenarios.

Look, the point I'm trying to get to here at the core of this post is thus;

The Gods are not high school cliques levels of petty, my friend. No one is gonna disown you for failing to meet a certain requirement or flubbing a prayer. Your Goddess isn't going to drag you to the Otherworld for fucking up. I've had more instances of the Goddesses I work with helping me than hindering me, because they aren't mean and scary and evil. Most of the ones I've worked with care more that you at least tried. That's fairly consistent across most open practices. Some of the God/desses have certain anathema. That's a big scary word for "shit you probably shouldn't do." Just know how they work and don't freak out if you accidentally do something wrong, because they got better shit to do than give you a big scolding because "oh no you didn't do x thing y way, you're going in the kill box."

Even Death God/desses tend to be chill as far as I've experienced? I mean I've got one as my matron and as long as I listen to her and try she's more than cool. Sometimes she's like, "sorry bub, gotta be Sovereign and do this yourself" but that's the worst it gets. Well, there's also the tests but that's the Morrigan for ya. Which leads me to...

4. "Am I using the right name/title/whatever for my God/dess? What if they get mad if I don't use it right?"

I'm in a special place to tell you that it doesn't fuckin' matter depending on the origin of your deity, the language used to refer to them, or something along those lines.

As an example, my matron has SEVERAL names, up to like, 5 and with her title specifically (the Morrigan) there's "the Morrigan," "Na Morrigan," and "An Morrigan."

There's more, but that's getting lost in the weeds. But from my channelings I've known that she's pretty chill with whatever and it's mostly other followers that will give you shit because they're no fun and that's why I'm not in a coven. Don't let someone else tell you what to call your God/dess when you and your deity have a special relationship that is unique to you and them. That's all of us; there isn't one way a God/dess will treat you.

I mean for fuck's sake, half the time when referring to the Morrigan I call her "Crow Mama" and she thinks that's hilarious. She's not insulted, she's not gonna kill me, and through my posts where I try to get her words filtered through my weak human mind she's even called it adorable. I use official titles when I want to be serious, but that's more or less it. The Morrigan is kinda also a questionable name in the first place given she's a triple Goddess in the first place, but again, we're getting lost in the weeds. Just because you don't refer to your god as, "Great X, Creator of Y, Champion of Z." Most of them don't care if you have a nickname for them (though I'm careful with Brigid just because of our relationship thus far). Plus, if you aren't a native to the region they're from in the first place, or speak the language they speak, there is an approximate 0% chance you'd say it in a way that they would actually appreciate, and also depending on how obscure your deity is (Adsagsona for example), YOU AREN'T GOING TO KNOW THE RIGHT TITLE. So relax, no one's gonna get mad.

IN SUMMATION

Just relax. Your deities aren't Old Testament God who will smite you or turn you into a pillar of sand for doing x thing wrong. You're human. You will make mistakes. Learn from them, keep them in your mind, and recall for next time.

And if you're thinking I'm crazy, you can read that thread and see several other people say the exact fuckin' same thing I'm saying, and a lot of them have been practicing a lot longer than I have.

The best thing to remember as a baby witch in a new path with like, following Apollo or something is to learn as much as you can and give yourself grace. It's a new journey, and there are bound to be errors. Give yourself the grace the Gods give you.

Dearest Nonny,

I just wanted to start off by saying that I’m very sorry you’re in this difficult situation.  I wouldn’t call what I’m about to discuss “advice” per se, because everyone’s personal experiences are different and what worked for me may not work for another.  That being said, please take what I say with a grain of salt — deconstruct it, take and use the things that vibe with you and toss the ones that don’t.

(Posting the rest of this under a cut.  For those who aren’t in the mood for IRL musings, please feel free to skip this 🤣):

hello friends!

after some consideration & asks later, i’ve decided to make an advice blog.

this will be for whenever you need advice on life, love, friendships, relationships, education/career, etc. as well if you just need to vent & have a shoulder to cry on.

i know 2020 has been very difficult for all of us, so if i can help in the slightest, i want to.

i love you, you’re worth it, & i hope to speak to you soon.

w love & light,

Let me tell y’all a story:

My grandma had two friends, call them Bob and Patt, and they were married for 20 years.

They got divorced over toothpaste.

May sound SUPER stupid but that’s for real the truth. When Bob and Patt started living together Patt saw Bob brushing his teeth and he didn’t put the toothpaste cap back on the bottle. Patt was like “whatever kind of annoying” but she would put it on for him. This continued over and over again and she never told him it bothered her. It becomes a habit, a routine and she just continues to do it but slowlyyyyy resentment builds. In the pit of her stomach she gets more and more annoyed at how he gets toothpaste everywhere on the sink cause he forgets the cap. But it’s nothing worth blowing up over.

Fast forward 20 years: they start to bicker more and more and it’s come to them picking out wallpaper colors. They disagree completely and it’s sorta a big decision to paint a huge wall so they fight and fight and can never compromise and finally Patt snaps and says “YOU NEVER PUT THE TOOTHPASTE CAP BACK ON AND IT IS DISGUSTING.” After that everything started falling apart. She continued to point out other things he did that annoyed her and he fired back saying she was a gross person too. They divorced two years after that.

That’s obviously a SHORT version of the entire story but to get back to the question: communication and honesty are crucial to a healthy relationship. Even if it seems small it could one day blow up into something huge. Me personally, if ever there is the tiniest thing bothering me I stop and tell R “hey can we talk?” And we discuss it and work it through. Take the little things seriously and the big things will work themselves out.

Hey Vix,

First of all, I am so so sorry you have to go through all that. I can absolutely relate though because my dissociative symptoms also mostly fall in the derealization category. It really is a horrible feeling, but there are things you can try that might help, and as shit as it sounds, it's also something you kinda get used to after a while, but let's hope it won't have to come to that.

Okay, so I guess I'm going to start by describing my own experience a bit so you can compare and maybe find some similarities you can relate to.

Basically, I usually describe the thing as having a major disconnect between my visual input and visual processing. Meaning my eyes are perfectly fine, and I know I'm seeing things, but my brain doesn't parse the incoming data as "reality", which kinda makes me feel like I'm somehow not seeing right, which, in extreme cases goes all the way to temporary functional blindness, where I mainly operate on memory and if I'm in an unknown environment I'm just completely fucked. But usually it's "just" the feeling of things being super distant, kinda unreal or as if I'm somehow out of sync with the rest of the world. Also as I listen to podcasts pretty much non-stop, sometimes it also feels like I'm way closer to the world of the podcast than the one my body is in. It's hard to focus on looking at things or read/write, my thoughts feel sluggish and I'm kind of in a daze, like being half asleep or really high, and just kinda floating through reality without being able to touch it.

Okay, so I assume you experience something similar to this, so I'm going to try and collect some general tips and tricks that help me and maybe you'll find something that can help you too.

1, Grounding techniques: One of the things that does wonders is grounding. Even though sometimes it's really tempting to just give in to the call of the fog (I forgot to mention, dissociation doesn't feel bad at all for me, it's actually very pleasant, albeit if I have to focus and do stuff and I can't just entertain it, it can get very frustrating), if being dissociated distresses you or you just don't have time for that shit, finding ways to pull yourself back into reality is a really handy tool. Here's some of the things I do:

Close your eyes and take away all visual input for a while. This forces your other senses to engage more actively, and if the dissociation isn't too bad, sometimes this in and of itself is enough to snap me out of it.

Touch things. I usually keep my eyes closed at first and just touch/squeeze the objects around me, because that still feels real, and after I made sure I'm familiar with the texture of the thing, I open my eye and I try to connect the two inputs and bring my brain back into sync. This second part takes a bit of practice, but once you get the hang of it, it can be really useful.

Sleep. Yeah, if you have the option, a good old nap is the most reliable way to "reset" your brain.

Just let it happen instead of fighting it. Sometimes, especially if the dissociation is bad and/or you are at a safe space and you don't have to engage with complex tasks for a while, it's easier to just roll with it than trying to fight it, because sometimes the energy you'd spend on trying to snap out of it, especially if you're not ready to snap out of it yet, can actually make you more exhausted and make the episode be more intense or last longer.

2, Try to figure out why it's happening. Dissociation is a defensive measure the brain uses when it is faced with something traumatic or that it deems too damaging for you to handle "sober". This can involve things that aren't directly traumatic but that your brain has a hard time dealing with, like monotonous, repetitive tasks or driving, where you have to low-key focus for a long time without much happening. Our brains are way better at paying intense attention for shorter bursts, and having to do it for extended periods can be very difficult.

In your case it probably has to do with your panic disorder, which of course has its own causes, which may or may not be part of why you're dissociating. I mean, I don't know enough of your situation to say anything further, but chances are that your brain is trying to protect you from A, whatever causes you to panic and/or B, the feeling of panic itself.

If you can somehow eliminate the situation/circumstance/source that makes you panic, that of course will also help with the dissociation.

3, Look out for patterns. This might be obvious, but if you can find any kind of pattern in what makes you dissociate, that can also help you find ways to avoid these situations, or at least be better prepared for them if they are unavoidable.

4, SLEEP! Seriously, this is so fucking crucial, I'm going to leave it all bold. Sleep is the single biggest game changer you can do for yourself. If you have access to plentiful and qualitative sleep, that can help so fucking much with all this, it really makes a world of difference.

5, NEVER randomly stare at your own hands. Seriously. Just don't. In fact, that goes for every mentally ill person, I mean, it's not a stoner trope by accident... It's just some seriously crazy making shit that'll just make you spiral. Nobody needs that shit.

Okay, this is all I can think of on the spot, I'll write more if I suddenly remember something. Also, other dissociated parties, feel free to add your own advice!

Love,