The Call of the Crow: Being Pagan in the Modern World

My partner revealed to her very Christian aunt that I follow Law of Threes and I about had a fuckin’ panic attack. Let’s hope she doesn’t google it.

Otherwise, I’m super fuckin’ tired from a week or so of Christmas. I’m holiday’d out.



I need a prayer, preferably to the Morrigan, to carry on the passing of a lost pregnancy. I can't get into details, if any of my friends on here or followers or anyone know of a good one, even a deity neutral one, I would be appreciative.

So this happened.

Moved to the East Coast, shit’s been crazy so I have not been posting probably as often as I should nor practicing as hard as I should, but imagine my heart rate sparking when I saw this intentionally tied on a handrail I use due to being disabled and not wanting to fall to my death.

Now, this probbbbbbbably isn’t cause for too much concern? I’ve been a bit brazen in talking to my GF in public and wearing my Crow Pentacle a little too loud and proud. I see no reason not to; as the area I’m in is crawling with people like you and I. However, this feels like a clear message;

“You are not welcome here.”

Too bad; we’re stuck with each other for the foreseeable future, and I really do not give a shit about your rosary. It isn’t going to change my ways, it isn’t going to change a damn thing.

Maybe I’m mistaken and some other schizo is trying to keep vampires out our lot. That would probably be the funniest thing to happen to me in two fuckin’ months (dealing with insurance is a pain in the ass, as are wasps crawling into your apartment). I would kill to see a vampire recoil in fear of this sacred cross!

Unfortunately, the vampires are gone but the witches are still here; and the cultists and the monsters and regular folks just trying not to notice (if you know what this is referencing let’s be friends <3). So this is only a mild concern. The placement shows they clearly don’t know where I actually live. Let’s keep it that way. Either way, I don’t go outside without a means of protecting myself.

So I’mma keep doing my rituals, spells, and other wickedly witchy bullshit, and you can go on living in a world where someone with a different world view living in harmony with you.

And before you ask, no I did not break the rosary off of the chain. Honestly I have no idea why it’s like that other than, potentially, when the person was wrapping it one of the chain ls got super loose due to the massive amount of tension placed upon the rosary. Do with that what you will.

Anyway, I hope whoever put this there gets everything they deserve. Kuro out.

I come back for one day and I'm seeing miles upon miles of Christian/Catholic/Judaism posts all over my feed. Excuse me, Tumblr algo, I believe we've had a miscommunication here, you see.

I am a witchcraft blog. I talk about theology often, only in the ways it affects my people and the general vibe of the Neopagan community (harms/slights/etc.). I am not a Catholic anymore, nor will I ever be again. I've picked my side.

Guess I gotta get back to curating my feed. It's less that I have a problem with Catholics themselves or any side of that aisle unless they come at me first, but the religious trauma I was put through when I was younger has given me the permission to have a bit of a problem with what I'm seeing on my feed.

Just a tiny bitching fest. I'll talk to all of you soon, with more channelings, tarot readings, and general witchery.

One day more until I can start practicing regularly again. Tomorrow morning after my Partner takes her mother to the airport and I'll be free of her.

I'm so excited, because no matter how good a person she projects herself outwardly to be, she's intolerant, horrible, and has caused hell for my partner and I. I'm not even allowed to wear my necklace with her. I don't even risk it being visible. I can't keep it in my pocket in case it falls out. My dead mother's ring is on that fucking necklace and I haven't been allowed to wear it.

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING: RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE AND HATRED, MISINFORMATION, AND QUITE HARMFUL RHETORIC

Before you doomscroll further down this post, please take your eyes on to this article written by the New York FUCKING Times and who they platformed: https://archive.is/7ESf2

Go on, take your time, I'll wait, I got all day.

Well, maybe depending on who people side with I might not.

Oh, you're finished? Well allow me to retort.

It's not Paganism's fucking fault for Donald Trump.

"Oh look at Kuro getting political all of the su-"

Bitch I'm only getting political because the fight was brought to us. If I'm not gonna stand up for my own then who is? You? The guy/girl/enbie next to you having their rights taken away day by day by a movement that is moving forward at an accelerated rate to the point where people are so scared?

Right, now that we have that out of the way...

Okay, so, we caught heat from the New York Times, and one particular man by the name of "David Brooks" who interviewed one "Tom Holland" (no not that one, your sexy man is safe with Zendaya). Put both of these assholes on your "shitstirrers looking for an infight" list and put them both on your "return to sender" list.

Now, I might be filled with a bit of Crow Mama's battlefury, or Adsagsona's (arguably righteous in this case) fury at the very idea that her follower (ya crow here) could be targeted by psychos like these in the coming storm ahead.

I live in a Blue State now, hooray! What's not hooray is if other people who are Blue don't stand up for us and disavow this kind of rhetoric instantly, because most of us who are walkers of this path ain't got shit to do with any of this. And now we're catching heat from a supposedly righteous website and news editorial for... Trump?

Okay, let's take a step back.

How about we argue the points themselves since I've found Christians - particularly Catholics and the less chill branches - hate when you do that. I'm going to be taking quotes from the article, so trigger warning again for strong religious intolerance, AND HELL MAYBE SOME OTHER SHIT I MISSED, IDFK. Do however keep in mind that this was an opinion piece and may not reflect the values of the other writers of the New York Times, but they platformed these shitters so it's fair fucking game now motherfuckers.

Point 1.

"If there is one word to define Trump’s atmosphere, it is “pagan.” The pagan values of ancient Rome celebrated power, manliness, conquest, ego, fame, competitiveness and prowess, and it is those values that have always been at the core of Trump’s being — from his real estate grandiosity to his love of pro wrestling to his king-of-the-jungle version of American greatness." ~ David Brooks, Paragraph 2

Okay, so, Pagan values? Ancient Rome? Do you think... Do you think modern Pagans are like, into that shit for one? There are Roman and Gallo-Roman Pagans who celebrate their deities but what the fuck do you mean we "celebrate the values of power, manliness (lol I know more female Pagans than men for one), conquest (???), ego (okay that one can be fair in certain circles and covens), fame (lol), competitiveness, and prowess?" You think we're going around trying to take Constantinople back or something? I mean, that was done under checks notes Constantine, who decriminalized Christian practices in Rome and is largely responsible for the Christianization of Rome.

There's an argument to be made that they did take over the Gaul regions while still practicing Pagan practices, but they were pretty chill with just uniting their gods together and sending them on their way. A LOT OF FUCKING PEOPLE DIED TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN, and don't get me started on what that did to the Celts and the Western Germanics, but that's a problem for later.

Power

Our own power. The power within us, and our brothers, sisters, and enbieren. Those who cannot fight for themselves. We stand for those people and ourselves, and manifest our power within ourselves.

Do people abuse it? Fuck yeah, I see people reblogging curse content all the time (and I worship the lady associated with a lot of those curses) but you don't see me going out of my way to overpower the government for the sake of some holy righteous mission for my Goddesses.

I'm just some Crow loving asshole who runs a Tumblr blog out there to help baby and middle tier witches trying to find their way, and give a bit of advice here and there. Like, fuck, man, I use my power for the good of other people, whatever power I have.

Manliness

Like I said in the quote, I know waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more female witches and general pagans than male. Maybe it's confirmation bias, but a lot of Pagans these days that are kicking around are either Wiccans, ex-Wiccans, or descended from Wiccans. Wicca wouldn't be where it is without those brave women who kicked reason to the curb and chose their lane to fight and stand in. They chose the lives they decided to live. And even today, a male witch like me is looked at almost as an oddity.

Do I know male witches who have manliness as one of their virtues? Yeah, but that doesn't dominate their personality. I see more Deus Vult Christians who idolize manliness than witches and pagans. And trust me, I know a lot of them.

Conquest

Point me on a fucking map to a place Wiccans, Pagans, Witches, you name the Pagan branch that has been taken by us. Oh, you can't, can you? That's right, because we ain't about fuckin' conquest you fucking blathering idiot. And you're only talking about the Roman Pagans who follow that particular sect, but we'll get to the Hellenists later who you throw under the bus in the same fucking breath you blithering narcissistic psycho.

Ego

Okay this is the only one I refuse to argue against, because let me be real with y'all for two seconds, you feel me?

WE AS A RELIGIOUS SUBSECTION HAVE A PROBLEM WITH LETTING SOME OF THE MOST EGOTISTICAL JACKASSES RUN THE NARRATIVE.

Okay, storytime. When I was a Hellenist (no shade to you guys, alliances and pantheons change, let the process happen) I was gaslit constantly by a pseudocoven that was more like a group of the worst fucking people my ex and I knew, and they were CONSTANTLY making claims they couldn't back up about being the very essence of deities and shit.

You can say "but Kuro you claim to talk to your Goddesses what does that make you?" Insane. It makes me In-fucking-sane, but if you're a follower of this blog you're well aware of my mental fucking illnesses by now. I could be talking to Goddesses, it could very well be my imagination. I call it communing and channeling. Because I believe it.

Does that make me some "super special awesome privileged witch that gets to only talk to his Goddesses?" No, they probably commune, and I know they do if we go back to Izzy from the Morrigan's Oracle (follow her on YouTube!) she communes with The Morrigan and Brigid. She also communed with Kali. Shit if I know who else my Goddesses talk to (although Adsagsona is a little more predictable because she sticks to me like glue and has me do stuff for her every day because I'm probably her only modern worshipper, let's be real). I'm not special just because I connect with my Goddesses. You could probably do it too if you try. You might be doing it and not know it.

My partner put it best, "I'd call anyone who claims to hear Angels or Jesus, or God insane just as I call you insane (lovingly)." We're all fuckin' crazy here, every one of us that follows a religion. What matters is what you manifest and that you manifest good for the world, and that it returns to you.

Fame

I don't really know any non-authors (who don't go by pseudonyms) outside of Tumblr who are really "famous" outside a certain frame or subset of communities. Back where I lived there was this shop that was well liked and stuff, but they barely made it to get their lease for another year through community support. This was in a red state, so YMMV but there are no "famous Pagans" really that are of any relevancy outside our relatively small circle.

Competitiveness

Bro who the fuck are we the Pagan Olympics? Are there competing Green Witches seeing who can grow the best plant (I mean plant shows but that's beside the point). Do we have curse offs? See who can fucking curse the other person better? Where is this value coming from? Nowhere, that's where.

Covens can get bitchy, and they might have spats with "Rival Covens" but that's like, nothing, and I would say a large majority of Pagans these days, in at least the US, are solitary practitioners or family practitioners.

Prowess

Bro do you like, not want to be good at stuff? Is a Christian value laziness or something because last I checked every goddamn worthwhile human being on this goddamn rock wants to be good at something. Nothingburger statement.

Point 2

Holy shit, are we just now getting to Point 2? I feel like I've written a longer post than the NYT on this shit already, gods damn.

"The pagan ethos has always appealed to grandiose male narcissists because it gives them permission to grab whatever they want. This ethos encourages egotists to puff themselves up and boast in a way they find urgently satisfying; self-love is the only form of love they know." ~David Brooks, Paragraph 3 (Oh sweet Brigid we're only on Paragraph 3, Goddess above).

The "PAGAN ETHOS"

Bro we can't agree on shit, and half the shit we agree on is contradicted by someone else. The "Pagan Ethos" at this point seems to be "Survive another fucking day in a rapidly growing place that doesn't want us," and that's just the US. There is no "Singular Pagan Ethos" that at least I know of. Bro, what Pagans are you talking to? Who is feeding you all this? Go to another fucking church cuz your Pastor has either drank a little too much of the Satanic Panic Kool Aide or this is some overt psyop made to make us feel unsafe, and I'm leaning towards the former.

There are many paths we as Pagans walk, and each is individual to their own practice. To say there is a Pagan Ethos is to say there is a singular path where there is none. We aren't a massive sect, we aren't a massive force, we are a small minority of religious people following individually guided ways of life that differ from each other. I see like fifteen curse reblogs a day and I say nothing and move on cuz that's not my path (As much as Sona wants it to be).

In short, there is no "Pagan Ethos." If you wanted one, take the Wiccan Rede by the way. How does that go again? Oh yeah, that's right.

"Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill: An ye harm none, do what ye will."

That's the short of it.

Point 3

"The pagan culture is seductive because it lures you with images of heroism, might and glory. Think of Achilles slaughtering his enemies before the walls of Troy. For a certain sort of perpetual boy, what could be cooler than that? But there is little compassion in this worldview, no concept that humility might be a virtue. There is a callous tolerance of cruelty." ~David Brooks, Paragraph 4 (this is taking too long).

Pagan culture and cruelty being in the same paragraph is hilarious. Everyone I've met aside from the pseudocoven has been pretty chill. No one aggressive or mean, aside from my buddy's mom who is uh, her own can of worms. She's also a Lugh worshipper, and he flat out told me to fuck off so uh...

To the Underworld with me I suppose. An Morrigan gets a little laugh every time I tell the story.

Anyway, humility is totally a Pagan virtue. We are but specs on this earth and, as far as I know, are trying to make things better however we can. We know we are not gods (well some of us do LOL). We try to give back to Earth the best we can.

And don't get me started on the Druids, that's like, their whole thing. Modern Druidism isn't like, animal sacrificing and shit. Hell, most Druids will tell you if you see a dead animal part in a forest, leave it the FUCK alone. Let nature take back what she grew and all that.

So like, where is this whole herosim, might, and glory thing come from?

Heroes and Heroics

So, being a Celt Pagan myself, we have quite a few tales of glory and adventure. Being a worshipper of Rhiannon, I got that Mabinogi strapped to me the whole way through. It's very confusing, give it a read! It's moderately easier to understand than House of Leaves :D

Jokes aside, we tell tales of virtuous, and often hubris driven heroes and caution ourselves to live better lives than them, and hope we never enter their shoes, but to put it bluntly, be prepared to put your tale in history.

Let's take me, your local schizophrenic who is the last person you should be taking advice to on positive mental health qualities!

I'm pretty much prepared to die at every given corner, but I'm paranoid as fuck, as are many Pagans who read that article right now. Trump's people comin' for us, now the other side.

"Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right! Here I am, stuck in the middle with you."

~Stealers Wheel, 1972

And I don't mean this as an "Orange Man Bad" post, I honestly think Bo Burnham (I'll shut up about him eventually I promise) put it best;

"Every politician, Every cop in the street Protects the interests of the pedophilic Corporate Elite!" ~Socko (as played by Bo Burnham), ""INSIDE", 2020

Don't trust a fucking word any politician says ever. You'll stay safer that way and you won't feel betrayed when a news paper column platforms a psycho and another psycho trying to spread misinformation and lies about you and yours in the name of stopping the opposition. I think every politician - left, right, middle, whatever - is out for their own personal gain so while I'm framing a lot of this as anti-Trump keep in mind, I'm an unhinged lunatic who hates every politician who does nothing but stand by as my people get hurt and do nothing about it because their fake lies and pretty prayers don't protect shit when it comes to people in the street being hurt, killed, or worse.

Stay your own ally. Take care of your community. Vet people. Don't trust these motherfuckers and their pretty lies. Okay next section.

Point 4

"Tom Holland is a historian who wrote several fine books of classical history, like “Persian Fire.” Gradually he became more and more appalled by many of those ancient pagans — those Caesars who could slaughter innocent human beings by the hundreds of thousands while everyone thought this was totally fine." ~David MOTHERFUCKING Brooks trying to gaslight you that everyone was just cool with the stuff Caesar was assassinated for, Paragraph 5 oh my god why am I even entertaining this at this point?

Caesar

Complicated figure in Roman history, blah blah blah got fucking stabbed by a bunch of people in the biggest proof that group projects are carried by a few people who are actually dedicated to the bit in history. Fun fact, Caesar was attacked by a bunch of people, like, the assassination was public and a lot of people were involved, but only a few of them actually stabbed him. Fun facts.

So you're making us believe that Roman Pagans were just like, cool with Caesar slaughtering "thousands" of innocent human beings without a complaint, not even one in the complaint box.

"Oh, slow day in Rome huh? What? Caesar went and personally slaughtered thousands of innocent people? Fuck yeah, fuck those bitches. High Roman Five." ~Some Roman Figure Living in David Brooks' head as a voice through history.

You think people were so chill with him killing "thousands" of "innocent human people" and that the assassination was COMPLETELY UNRELATED to his policies huh? Is that really the hill you're going to die on? Alright, let's cut the bullshit and get to the facts.

Tom Holland is a historian who wrote several fine books of classical history, like “Persian Fire.” Gradually he became more and more appalled by many of those ancient pagans — those Caesars who could slaughter innocent human beings by the hundreds of thousands while everyone thought this was totally fine.

Rome Under Caesar

I'm gonna try to use the least amount of sources as possible but we're getting into history so there's a lot of accounts and sources, HONESTLY you should probably just read Caesar's Wikipedia page and follow the sources here because it'll be 9999x less schizophrenic than this, tbh.

According to fucking history.com (https://www.history.com/articles/julius-caesar-ancient-roman-dictator-importance for those curious) Caesar did a lot to shape the world after him, and honestly, motherfucker had it coming for a lot of reasons but we'll get to that.

Appointed Governor of the Northern Territory of Gaul in 58 B.C.E. No biggie by itself but he then proceeded to expand Rome's control all across Europe, including the very way to the Atlantic and parts of the English Channel. Obligitory fuck France.

55 B.C.E (count backwards in B.C.E. remember?) he literally built a bridge across the Rhine in 10 days because he was a madlad whose madlad capacity could not be contained.

So let's ask you, David Brooks, are these Gauls the innocents he was slaughtering? I mean they weren't bothering no one (ignoring each other, the Western Germanics, each other again, goddamn they just wanted smoke) but they were Pagans so THAT'S probably not the problem you have, because they were ancient Pagans and according to you any innocents were just killed by Pagans so Caesar good for controlling those bitchass Pagans right? Right? No? Okay, let's continue.

3. Civil War by crossing the Rubicon that was the entire opposite of Civil because Caesar was just kinda like that. You're standing at the Rubicon River dividing Gaul and Rome and some motherfucker just brings an entire legion across it. What are you going to do? Well, fight across Spain, fucking Greece got involved, North Africa somehow found itself in the middle of it, prompting Pompey to retreat to North Africa where uh.

They weren't fucking wanted so you guess what happened to them.

So, if we're keeping track, David Brooks, that's a lot of dead Pagans. I mean leading an entire legion of Pagans across the Rubicon to slaughter a bunch of Roman Pagans and force them into North Africa (which you don't give a single fuck about don't even try to pretend). Then there was a battle in Greece in 48 B.C.E. that forced Pompey to retreat, again, to Egypt, but ya know, Egypt in the olden days. So you don't care, right? No innocents dead yet according to you. We on the same page? I'm not seeing where you're finding all these innocents you're complaining about him slaughtering. According to you, they're all Pagans so who cares, right?

4. Pompey was assassinated at the behest of Ptolemy XIIi., BECAUSE HE WANTED HELP AGAINST CLEOPATRA VII. Hmm very interesting. I wonder how that turned out for him.

Oh uh, Ptolemy was defeated in 47 B.C.E. because Caesar's forces showed up, then put Cleopatra and her 12 year old half-brother in charge, but she was in the HBIC so who cares, right? Pagan on Pagan violence according to you. Then Cleopatra gave birth to Ptolemy XV who was joked to be Caesarion WHICH prompted Cleopatra and Caesarion in 46 B.C.E. to move to a villa on the banks of the Timber River, where Caesar visited his lover frequently in apparently violating the law, but that was a Pagan law so who cares, right David Brooks? Thus it was bad and you don't care.

5. Okay so we're getting to the Dictator part in a minute but uh, there's some interesting history with Celo after that but we'll get to it.

46 B.C.E., he declared himself according to HISTORY.COM by the way as "Dictator for Life." Yeah. That's a doozy. You know, just declaring yourself the eternal ruler of a place, sure couldn't go horribly wrong, right? When in history has a despotic ruler who treats his subjects as mere afterthoughts ever gone wrong. Now I see you looking up what happened before the Bolshivek Revolution (February Revolution - the Russian Civil War, from 1917 to fucking 1922 by the way) and I'm just gonna keep it short and say the Emperor of fucking Russia wasn't a great guy no matter how much the Russian Orthodox Church argues for it and I'll take that to my fucking dying days.

So, back to Caesar-

"Your Tumblr post is longer than the fucking OpEd you're criticizing and you're only on the fifth paragraph, can we not speedrun this?"

It's my hyperfixation and specialty and I make the rules.

Back to Dictator for Life Caesar.

Did some stuff like granting stuff to retiring soldiers and redistributing land to the poor and canceling debts. Pretty popular stuff if you ask me and I fail to see where the innocents were getting slaughtered this? Isn't the whole Christian thing, especially US Christianity, about being good to people who give something as sacred as their lives up for their nation and giving to the poor? That's a pretty good move, but it sure as fuck kicked up a hornets nest against the elites.

To quote Socko again,

"No shit."

So, he minted coins with his image, made his birthday a public holiday, and literally, and you can fact check this, ruled Senate from an actual fucking, and I mean ACTUAL FUCKING Golden Throne.

UHH. I'm starting to see some problems with this guy but we haven't reached the murdering innocents parts.

6. Wow a calendar. Cool. So, cool facts again, Rome ran off a 355 Lunar Calendar. Pretty baller if you ask me, because running things off of the moon is pretty cool and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Goddess above here comes the Julian calendar with Sosiggenes. Fuck you man. 365 1/4 days with a leap year every four years? Man, maybe I should hate this guy MORE than I do. I mean that's pretty fucked up, changing shit off a lunar calendar, something that as we know is very important to Christians, a lunar calendar, based on the moon, the moon they have nothing to do with, the moon they don't worship gods of, the moon that-

Yeah I'm overdoing the bit. I am convinced through my own mental illness that Caesar did this just to piss me off thousands of years later. Fuck you and your calendar Caesar and Sosigenes, shove it. This all officially went into effect in 45 B.C.E. on Jan 1st. Sound familiar? Yeah we fucking use that shit but it had to be edited because by the 1500's that shit was 10 days off the seasons, which is kinda bad from the predominantly agricultural forces of the world while the New World and THEIR Pagans were more worried about, I dunno, fucking the invading colonialists and Spanish Inquisitions. Priorities people. So since people were so butthurt over a poorly thought out calendar system that was stupid from the get go and mattered only in Europe at the time, Pope Gregory XIII modified the calendar by just saying "You know what? God says fuck those ten days and only one out of every centennial years would be leap years." And to show how butthurt the Eastern Orthodox Church was about Pope Gregory XIII's decision, some parts of it still use it.

Oh and they renamed the birth month of Caesar, Quintuilis, to Julius which became July. So that's why we shoot Fireworks off every July 4th and traumatize people with PTSD, animals, and all sort of other people with mental illnesses and disabilities every year /jk kinda sorta it's complicated.

7. So, so far Caesar has killed other Pagans for the sake of killing other Pagans because they didn't want him in charge and gave stuff to soldiers and the poor. Where's the problem here, David Brooks? Note he didn't include a source on Caesar just mindlessly slaughtering "thousands of innocents a day and no one cared" because OpEds can obviously be filled with as much misinformation as the publication is allowed to get away with. And goddamn do they run the gambit in this.

Yeah, he went pretty nuts later with all the honors and crazy shit, having statues erected in his honor in temples which actually probably pissed off more of the Pagans than anyone else. And David Brooks' definition of innocents only seems to include Christians affected rather than the Pagans who were killed cuz.... They were in a war? Over land? Classic shit every world leader, but especially the Vatican has pulled for hundreds of years. So why do you care when CAESAR does it, eh? He's done more to piss off the political elite and rich and- ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay. I see.

Anyway, so they ended up killing him, on the Ides of March, or the 15th of March for those of you who aren't history buffs or care about stupid bullshit no one has cared outside of history obsessed people and Roman Larpers who forgot that Caesar was largely uh, not a Christian at all or even existed at the same time that it was popular in Rome. Mark Antony played everyone for fools, because the public really liked Caesar so when I said no one gave a shit earlier I was kinda wrong. The public turned on the conspirators and drove them out, but they still got the fuck away with it so point stands.

Caesar and why David Brooks thinks he just murdered swaths of innocents for no reason

Good question, next question.

Point 5

"The callous tolerance of cruelty is a river that runs through human history. It was dammed up, somewhat, only by millenniums of hard civilizational work. The pagan ethos — ancient or modern — always threatens to unleash brutality once again. The pagan ethos does not believe that every human was made in the image of God, does not believe in human equality, is not concerned about preserving the dignity of the poor. It does not care much about the universal feelings of benevolence, empathy and faithfulness toward one another, which, it turns out, are absolutely required for a democracy to function.

We seem to be entering a pagan century. It’s not only Trump. It’s the whole phalanx of authoritarians, all those greatness-obsessed macho men like Vladimir Putin and Xi Jinping. It’s the tech bros. It’s Christian nationalism, which is paganism with worship music. (If you ever doubt the seductive power of paganism, remember it has conquered many of the churches that were explicitly founded to reject it.)

If paganism is a grand but dehumanizing value system, I’ve found it necessary, in this increasingly pagan age, to root myself in anything that feels rehumanizing, whether it’s art or literature or learning. I’ve found it incredibly replenishing to be spending time around selfless, humble people who are still doing the work of serving the homeless, mentoring a lost kid who’s joined a gang. These days I need these moral antidotes to feel healthy, resilient and inspired."

~David Brooks, again forgetting to take his meds that day in Paragraphs 7-9

I sped up the process a bit but also because all three of these paragraphs are reliant on each other to make their point or get really ANY point across, because David Brooks is a terrible fucking writer. I wonder who that reminds me of. Someone who rhymes with dadrawobdabro. Couldn't be me.

Authoritarianism and Christianity

So like, did we completely bypass Caesar and swing forward to Vladamir Putin and Xi Jinping and Donald Trump like we're completely missing the parts where a very Christian Rome fell apart due to infighting and also a few barbarian hordes here and there? Like holy fuck, yeah, XI Jiping can get fucked and so can Putin but like, what does Putin identify (poorly) as? According to Theos (https://www.theosthinktank.co.uk/comment/2022/02/16/essay-on-vladimir-putin for those interested, but fair warning for your witchy eyes you're gonna be bombarded the fuck out of Christian shit in your ads for the next million years so stay vigilant), he's part of the Russian Orthodox Church, or the Moscow Partiarchate which in Russian is "fuck you I'm not copypasting that." This shit goes back to Valdamir the Great and the clergy at, wow, would you believe that? Constantinople, wow, full circle. Where else did you see Constantinople in this post?

So what other Authoritarian Leaders are of some Judeo-Christian Religion hmmmmmmmmmmmm? Oh, most of them. Wow, surprising, it's almost like there's a pattern, or I haven't taken my meds and I'm just seeing things where there aren't. Which if you look at history and my med schedule you'd know obviously I've taken my meds and that history has been filled with Authoritarian as fuck leaders claiming to be some sort of Christian outside of like, Japan in some places, China because they're weird, and the good old USSR who claimed I guess that Religion was wrong until it wasn't the tactic anymore, the Iron Curtain fell (ask me about my opinions about the USSR I SWEAR I'M FUN AT PARTIES), and an ex-KGB GOOD BOI Putin took office as RUSSIAN ORTHODOX MIND YOU.

It's almost like religion can be used as a tool to control narratives and paint people as enemies and assign any moniker to them to dehumanize them and make them the obvious enemy you need to rise up against. Post 9/11 it was Muslims, now it's Pagans fucking apparently according to the New York Times. Yeah, that New York Times. You know, the New York Times, the same one that publishes actual articles about things depending on your political leanings that you'd be inclined to read if you're of a personal persuasion or stupid enough to pay to read a website for the same news you'll probably see summarized and discussed far more fun and less civilized on /pol/ if you take ANY of that seriously, Reddit if you're feeling like seeing someone call someone something close to a slur but skirting the rules as close as possible, Twitter if you just want to watch the world burn like Heath Ledger's fucking Joker, or a Tumblr written by a schizophrenic Pagan if you really have nothing better to do.

You want someone to blame for this fucking Tumblr post that isn't me because I have better things to do than read hate comments when I'm working on shit in the lab? Email the New York Times and get mad at them, not me.

"Increasingly Pagan Age"

This is an issue of what the Japanese call "Shittobukai" or 嫉妬深い if you can read moon runes. It translates loosely to "Deep Jealousy" and is used freely in Mori Calliope's song "Holy嫉妬" (Holy-Shitto for those who are not Japanese or well versed in the complex systems of kanji like your dumbass friend Kuro who spent hours when he first heard the song and kept looking for the right word for what it meant) (also wow Mori Calliope? Kuro's not cool anymore, he listens to Mori Calliope.)

People are looking for different paths, not just Pagan paths mind you, in the year of their lord 2025 C.E. Some go Muslim, some go Jewish, some people pick Hinduism, and others pick other paths like atheism, agnosticism which I will sit here and argue for hours is it's own territory of it's own, or shit like Buddhism or Taoism. Fuck, I have the equivalent of the Taoist bible sitting on my desk because it teaches you to be more chill and doesn't interfere with my religion. Buddhism, Taoism, stuff like that doesn't interfere really with religion so much as it offers you another lens to look at it through.

There are Christian Buddhists. There's probably a Hindu Taoist somewhere, IDK, they don't post much on English Twitter so I wouldn't know? Or Tumblrs I follow for that matter? IDK, find your own path.

Point being, we're in an age where the Christian domination that has lasted hundreds of years is coming to an end as they are losing their majority more and more every day. So who else to blame but those damn Pagans? Clearly every Christian lead off the path who becomes a Muslim, Jew, or Atheist was caused BY A PAGAN, right David Brooks? That's your logic? It's not like we're growing by that much. Paragraphs 7-9 make it sound like we're fucking becoming a majority when by far there are not as many western Pagans as there are Hindus. We are a miniscule minority. In America, only 3% of people identify openly as Pagan, ya Crow kinda included but I've been forced temporarily for a bit back into the Broom closet for reasons, partly because my partner's mother is a Presbyterian pastor and coming to visit with a man from I believe Cameroon who is also heavily Christian aligned. I don't even think my partner has told her she's an atheist let alone that I'm a Pagan, and honestly Sona is saying some scary shit about what she's going to do if her mom gets some idea to look into the office closet (she quite frankly doesn't want her in the same space as her bell, as in the office, so she's a little unhinged today but she had a good time with me taking pictures of East Coast flowers, but we missed the blooming season sadly, so next year Sona, I promise, Partner wants to go show me the DC blooms and you'll love it aside from, well, being in DC).

So, yeah, that's an open 3%. Give or take a few percent due to people stuck in the broom closet for a VARIETY OF REASONS, we'll be generous and say 5% or 6%. I'm feeling generous and say there are double the amount of identifying Pagans in the US, David Brooks, because by now I've outwritten your shitty article and I'm only up to Paragraph 9 of your's. I need to give you SOME advantage.

However, ha ha! By giving you this generous offer of 6% I have made your points seem utterly deranged and deluded, which honestly you didn't need much help with but I might as well push that little bit further! You're threatened by 6% of the population and blame someone you outnumber by 57% according to the Pew Research Center (https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2025/02/26/religious-landscape-study-religious-identity/) for the worsening of the country and, to go a little further into your article to get some of the guff out of the way, that Jesus is needed to save your over 60% majority from the evil 6% of Pagans. Unless you're like, severely dyslexic and think that says 666% of Americans are Pagan, so allow me to make it clear - I am giving you six (6) (vi) (六) percent. I know you can't read kanji, or probably another language other than the very American English you know, which don't feel bad, because I can't either, but at least I went to the effort of putting it out there for you so you don't get confused, because you are clearly blind if you think the world at the reported 3% or my supposed doubled amount by counting broom closeted pagans which there are DEFINITELY not that amount of but again, it's about generosity. You feel that Jesus is needed to save you in these times of an "increasingly Pagan world" when we are barely a dot on the map compared to you. Get some fucking perspective you total psycho path.

Point 6 (six) (vi) (六)

"For the Romans, the cross was a symbol of their power — their power to crucify. The early Christians took the cross as their symbol, too, but as a symbol for compassion, grace and self-sacrificial love. Christianity is built on a series of inversions that make paganism look pompous and soulless: Blessed are the meek. Blessed are the poor in spirit. The last shall be first. The poor are closer to God than the rich. Jesus was perpetually performing outrageous acts of radical generosity, without calculating the cost.

The Judeo-Christian ethos showed the world something loftier than paganism. As G.K. Chesterton put it in “The Everlasting Man,” “One of the strange marks of the strength of Christianity is that, since it came, no pagan in our civilization has been able to be really human.”

Judaism and Christianity confront paganism with rival visions of the good. The contrast could not be starker. Paganism says: Make yourself the center of the universe. Serve yourself and force others to serve you. The biblical metaphysic says: Serve others, and you will find joy. Serve God, and you will delight in his love."

~David Brooks, once more losing his fucking mind over the Romans in Paragraphs 12-14

"Shitto-Shitto-Bukai, just ain't worth the time so kick it." ~Mori Calliope

So, now you're blaming Jews? What happened to Caesar and his Pagan ways being the reason Rome sucked? Oh, I guess that doesn't help your narrative here, so you dropped it for fucking Jews. Okay, so I'm not their friend any more than I am you are, or you are theirs, so I don't reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally give a shit?

But then you ally with them for "Judaism and Christianity confronting paganism with rival visions of the good." So I guess it's water under the bridge. I really don't know what you're smoking David Brooks, but you must be getting the good shit from the dispensary you spend your money you drew from that second salary from the Facebook thing at (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/david-brooks-nyt-facbeook-income-b1812701.html for those curious about good old Davie Brooks).

Then you go ahead and throw us under the bus and say we are self-serving and wholly self-absorbed when that couldn't be the opposite of the matter. Are you aware of what lengths I go to to revere and worship my Goddesses? I go out of my comfort zone because of the Morrigan and better myself to better serve her. For Brigid I try to aid nature and make it beautiful, was inspired to aid the growth of plants and the health of the earth for her sake, for Rhiannon I began breaking down why I feared the night and found some hard truths, but she repays me in kind with guidance on staying calm in stressful night situations and in kind I became less hostile to people who mean me no harm at night in my neighborhood, thus helping the neighborhood as I stopped feeling the need to take a bat out and threaten anyone I saw. For Sona, I take beautiful photos of things she's never seen, and with my broken, battered body do things for her pleasure to show her a side of the world, a whole entire new world to her, that she's never seen. I go out and sit on a rock and talk to her, much like you talk to Jesus in your prayers, but to someone who has gone unworshipped in hundreds if not thousands of years man. I gave her a bell, a meaning, a reason to keep going, a promise of spreading her joy to various parts of the continental US because for now I can't get on planes easily.

Do your prayers to Jesus and Big G God for likely things that would make you happy have any less meaning or joy or pleasantness than me with my disabled body getting on the fucking ground to take a picture of a tree Adsagsona was enraptured by? You seem to think so. It wasn't out of self service. It was to make my Goddess happy, how you make your God and your Lord happy every day through your actions, through your prayers, so you say. But no, I'm the bad guy because Orange Man in Office and obviously that couldn't have happened if God was willing. It had to be my Goddesses, the Gods and Goddesses my friends and fellow Pagans worship, the fault of an "increasingly Pagan world" because "God would never let this happen if he had anything to say about it."

You make excuses for why a coin toss election lost without the realization that man has free will, and people with similar beliefs to you, who, by the way, make up a large majority of the country instead of the "6%" of Pagans that probably voted Blue anyway, voted FOR ORANGE MAN. When do you accept blame and repent for the supposed sins of your brothers and sisters who you refuse to blame for Orange Man instead of innocent Pagans, those same innocents you claimed Caesar slaughtered by the thousands and the Roman populace "didn't care?"

Point 7

"You may be a person of faith or a person of no faith, but which moral atmosphere do you want to live in? The cultural atmosphere you immerse yourself in will slowly form who you are. I don’t fault those pagans for sucking down all those muscle-building diet supplements, but I know the kind of nourishment I need these days for the strength of my mind and the health of my soul.

Apparently, I’m not alone. Something’s going on in our culture. The decline of religious participation, which was so rapid between 2010 and 2020, seems to have stopped. There has been a relative surge in religious interest among young men. According to research by the evangelical Christian polling group Barna, 66 percent of Americans say they have made a personal commitment to Jesus — a 12-percentage-point jump since 2021.

Similar things may be happening in Europe. In France the Catholic Church saw a 45 percent increase in new catechumens this Easter compared with last year, and it has baptized more than 17,000 people, the highest yearly number of entrants in over 20 years. According to an April report by the Bible Institute, the percentage of British adults age 18 to 24 who attend church at least monthly increased from 4 percent in 2018 to 16 percent today, including a 21 percent gain among young men. I’ve been predicting a revival among the religious left, but that seems not to be happening. The Christian resurgence in Britain is not among the progressive mainline denominations; it’s primarily among Catholics and Pentecostals, with two million more people attending church than six years ago."

~David Brooks schizoposting about fucking muscle-building diet supplements for some reason? Is this about fucking Alex Jones or did you just get out of the psych ward? No shade if you did, been there, but come on man this is insane. Also Paragraphs 15-17

Contradictions

So, you're saying this is an "increasingly Pagan world," then in the same article contradicting yourself by saying both the amount of Christians have gone up and Church attendance is actually higher than it has been in some time (since 2021), and I'll take you at face value on that because the only person I can ask is someone I really don't want to nor knows why I would be asking (Partner's mother, who doesn't know about the Pagan shit and needs to NOT know). I also don't want to bother bringing more sources than I need to and most of the stuff will be hearsay and if you can pull numbers out of your ass then I can too.

Well let me give you some numbers too. The stores of Pagan owners in the US are doing fine, and the one back home I'm not naming not out of shade for them but for my own anonymity got another year on their lease by working hard for their dream and are launching Oracle decks this year they made themselves with their own art and own meanings to their own cards. They worked hard at this. I'll probably be buying this Oracle deck just to support them, and guess what David Brooks? Instead of the generous offer your website tried to give me for a subscription to the New York Times, I'll just go ahead and buy a personalized hand-made grimoire by that shop just to support them, as a personal "fuck you" from me to you and a "thank you" from you and your cronies at the New York Times to the Pagan community. We'll even count it as your apology, so yet again I'm being generous and giving you and them a two-for-one! Isn't that great?!

There's like six Pagan shops in my immediate area. They aren't suffering. In fact, they're doing great. They've been here, they're staying here, the community here has been great and welcoming so far, even though they are not by any means organized. So fuck you, David Brooks. I'm done playing nice. Now we're coming out with talons out, baby.

Point 8 (HOLY FUCK IT'S ALMOST OVER)

"This movement was already underway before Trump was elected to a second term. It’s a response to a series of gods that failed: The belief that science and tech could solve our quest for meaning. The belief that we can live like hyperindividualists and still experience a sense of communal belonging. The belief that the right B.M.I. could lead to purpose and peace.

Are we on the cusp of a new religious revival? The evidence is still much too flimsy and fresh to justify that kind of sweeping assertion, so color me skeptical. I think it’s more accurate to say that there is currently a great spiritual yearning in the populace, which the religious institutions have not yet risen to meet.

But I do think we’re on the cusp of a great cultural transition. On the one hand, the eternal forces of dehumanization are blowing strong right now: concentrated power; authoritarianism; materialism; runaway technology; a presidential administration at war with the arts, universities and sciences; a president who guts Christianity while pretending to govern in its name.

On the other hand, there are millions of humanists — secular and religious — repulsed by what they see. History is often driven by those people who are quietly repulsed for a while and then find their voice. I suspect different kinds of humanists will gather and invent other cultural movements. They will ask the eternal humanistic questions: What does it mean to be human? What is the best way to live? What is the nature of the common humanity that binds us together? As these questions are answered in new ways, there will be new cultural movements and forms.

As the theologian Dallas Willard put it, there has been, over the past decades of neglect, a loss of moral knowledge. We came to a spot in 2024 in which 77 million Americans took a look at Trump’s moral character and didn’t have a problem with what they saw. But the consequences of those character failings are becoming evident in concrete ways.

New winds are going to blow."

~David Brooks, ending his schizoposting about 3% of the population by deflecting things on humanists, paganisms, tech, and so on in Paragraphs 19-24.

Okay, okay. We're finally at the end. Fucking finally, I can do something better with my time, holy motherfucking shit. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT.

Failed Gods

I'm just going to go for the throat on this one, and say that out of those 77 million voters that voted for Trump, a lot of them identify, pretty fucking blatantly, as Christians and good God fearing citizens of the United States of America and Jesus' Strongest Warriors. Do you know how many crosses, fish, and other Christian iconography paired with either a Trump 2024 bumper sticker or MAGA hat?

Trick question, I have numbers and I'm actually going to use sources because you are a piece of shit who can't be bothered to cite anything.

(https://baptistnews.com/article/how-trump-and-harris-fared-with-faith-voters-in-2024/)

This is Baptist news. Same warnings about your search history, ads, and some really fucking weird shit they say in the article. They break down the Christian vote by for some fucking reason White Born-Again's and just Whites in general.

They don't even like Trump, they have an article on their front fucking page that says we're "Living in the Upside Down from Stranger Things" 100 days into Trump's presidency. And they said according to them, 76% of White Christians, which by the way, David Brook is a White Christian, just take a look at his face on his article as my source. Fuck's sake man, your own demographic lost 76-24. That's like if the Chicago Bulls won a game against the LA Lakers by 152-48. With half-senile Jordan as their lead and Prime Lebron facing him down (I'm using NBA instead of WNBA even though that has better examples for reasons, don't ask). Dude, you lost not just by double, not just by triple, but by 3.16 times Dude you lost nearly pi times the amount of votes of your own demographic and you're blaming 3% of the populace for it. What the fuck man? No, seriously, answer me, what the fuck?

I want you in my comments, David Brooks, explaining how 3% of the populace is responsible for your own demographic, not counting Black, Latino, or otherwise Judeo-Christians, losing 76% to 24%. Are you kidding me dude? This is ridiculous.

TL;DR - Fuck you David Brooks. Let me leave you with words I was told a long time ago by someone so much wiser than I.

"Instead of looking for enemies without, look within." You might find a lot more of them that way.

With All the Love IN MY HEART For All of my Pagan Siblings and fellow Little Crows and Little Birds Catching Strays from the New York FUCKING Times, Kuro.

I missed I uh, by a day or do post wise but I didn’t miss a beat ceremony wise except for May 1st. However respect was shown to my Goddesses, including Adsagsona who joined the roster. You will see me refer to her as Sona often. She like pet names.

Sona has been good, very inquisitive on matters of potential curses on friends and how to get rid of them. See? She’s not bad. She wants to help and she respects my boundaries.

Aside from that, from Wednesday or next week to ??? I can’t practice my faith at home. My partner’s very religious mother and friend will be staying with us for a (hopefully) short time, but ringing bells or having my altar out and about is bad idea.

I’m the king of bad ideas, as I worship underworld Goddesses, but I’m not stupid enough to get my partner disowned by her mother who she already had a bad relationship with from the start.

Sona’s not happy, because she loves her bell. If the guests are out and about, we’ll do a little ceremony quickly to honor them. I also got some tea. Yay.

So, that’s the update. I’m safely in my new place and the altar is beautiful if hidden. Partner’s really cool Dad helped me set it up. I set it up the day before Beltane and it is EXTREMELY PINK which now that Beltane is over zi need to switch back to the culty looking black.

If anyone stumbles upon it; it’s their fault.

That’s it from my end for now.

An Morrigan’s Little Bird,

Aine has pretty much made it clear (and the Morrigan after) that she doesn't want to work with me and was only putting up with me (if you can call pretty much ghosting me at every opportunity) temporarily until I figured out that she wasn't who I thought she was. She's actually a Goddess of the Sun, so sorry if I misinformed anyone.

Now, Light God/desses and I don't really, well, get on because I worship Underworld Goddesses primarily. So, I have an extra bell, and no one to add other than Adsagsona when I get out to my new living quarters.

That's my update, feel like an idiot, should have researched harder.

If you see me reblog something without saying anything, I probably just think you have something valid to say and want to get your reach out there. It always shows me an option to say things but honestly the only social media services I know decently well are YouTube and Twitter, so I think Reblogging works the same as Retweeting?

Or is it supposed to work like a quote tweet?

Okay, so if you ain't new here, you know I'm a follower of a little death and war Goddess who I lovingly call Crow Mama, mainly because she finds it adorable.

As you may know if you are a follower (hint hint the button is right there and I drop witchy knowledge from 15 years of experience, even if sometimes my takes are radical) of an Underworld God/dess, your deity gets a pretty bad rep.

My buddy has a Wiccan mother who flat out has called my Goddess evil when he mentions me to her, and his brother asked, "Isn't she evil?" in reference to my matron. And in retrospect, it's hilarious for Celt Wiccans to not know the fuckin' texts or ideas of working with her to know she's about more than that.

One example; she's ALSO a Goddess of Victory. Did you know that? I know a lot of Celt Pagans don't.

Another one, she's a Goddess of SOVERIGNTY. That's a big word for putting on your big witch pants and taking care of shit yourself; such as Shadow Work, doing the things you need to do like offerings and rituals at the right time, or figure shit out yourself when the chips are down.

My post, listed here; https://www.tumblr.com/thecallofthecrow/780953933540638720/tarot-journal-4152025-4162025-in-between?source=share

Was all about Sovereignty. For those too lazy to go to the post, i drew the Emperor. Mid typing of the post, I got a Channeling from Her that was like, "yeah shit's fucked but handle it and you'll be fine," to summarize very crudely; as the question was relating to "if things would be okay."

Before you comment, no it wasn't politically driven. I'm just really fuckin' going through it right now, between manic-psychotic episodes and having a week to prepare to move across the damn country when I've lived in ruralsville my whole damn life. Kinda scary as shit.

So, what happened after this drawing and message from The Phantom Queen?

Shit went to fucking hell.

Basically, my life kinda fell apart due to a variety of matters to the point where in this household, I am flat out the only thing keeping people from killing each other, let alone outside people I have no control over.

For a bit, I was wondering if it was a sacrifice for asking for blessings for other people, who are seeing marked improvement after praying for their Victories in their current battles. This was nonsense and delusional, which tracks pretty well for me. But it does bring us to our topic of the night, ladies, gentlewitches, and everyone in between.

Despair, and how you can react to it.

So, I mentioned this was from the perspective of someone who worships a Death Goddess, that has a pretty bad rep among, quite frankly, idiots.

Let us dispel a few things real quick;

No, she's not evil

She's not that scary in my personal opinion

She's extra

She'll test you

And she has a funny sense of humor

To me she acts more like a mothering figure than a dark evil deity trying to turn me into her personal warrior. I've fought my battles; I'm still fighting my battles, and she helps me through those battles that are unique to me. People on Reddit (if you trust them, IDK, people on /r/Pagan seem pretty chill today with all the wisdom drops I've seen in only one day) are like "oh she's on a recruiting drive bad shit's about to go down" when she kinda just chooses people. I think it is more survivorship bias where it's like "yeah, the last time a lot of people found her bad things happened" referring to 2019 - 2020 when the bad stuff happened. We won't get into that.

Really, she chooses people at dark times or really any time she wants to work on themselves and shape them into what they need to be. She's not creating a personal army to fuck anyone up, not scheming, not even doing things maliciously. If she acts that way to you, I'm sorry, but you might just be approaching her from the wrong angle (not that I have any right to tell you how to live your path, go off).\

If she chooses you, it's often to help you overcome trauma, is what I've come to believe. And as someone who has had an ass-load of trauma over my life, yeah, that tracks.

I need to work on me. That means shadow work, that means doing things I don't want to do, that means being Sovereign. Sometimes you gotta put on the big witchy pants, like I said earlier, or skirt if that's more your speed.

Right now, I'm at my wit's end, and so is everyone around me. Even my partner, hundreds of miles away where I'm about to be is at her wit's end from today. You know what I did?

I gave into despair.

And then, independent of any other force, Goddess or otherwise, I pulled myself out and did what I had to do.

I organized, I cleaned, I made a list of stuff that has to come with me, I made arrangements, I talked to people. And tomorrow? I'm gonna sign paperwork and do a bunch of other shit. You know why?

Because you must never give into despair, for it will consume you in everything you do, and affect everything you do, and swallow whole your whole existence.

Now that's easy for the fuckin' schizo paranoid psycho to say, "just don't give into despair and you're fine." It ain't that easy. And I'm telling you, reader, it won't be easy. It takes discipline (Emperor card). It takes Power (Emperor card). It takes a lot of effort and setting yourself up for victory (insert tarot card I've probably pulled here). And the journey is long through these things (THE WORLD). Stuff will go wrong, you'll feel like your Gods have abandoned you. But they haven't. They're testing you, a lot of the time, to see if you're capable of fending for yourself. I know the Morrigan is. That's kinda her whole thing.

When Cu refused her for he wanted a battle that would make him a legend, she gave him a battle that made him a legend. When he met her as an old woman washing clothes, she washed his armor, a sign of things to come but he accepted it readily maybe knowing and maybe not knowing what this meant. When he finally fell, a crow landed on his shoulder, confirming his passing, but in a way, being with him through his journey.

The Morrigan, An Morrigan, Na Morrigan, Crow Mama; whatever I want to call her, she will never abandon me. She is simply testing me.

And I need to step up to the plate.

Tonight - despite my dread, my despair, my hopelessness - I comforted my partner as she relived past trauma. I gave her words of encouragement to ease her pain. And ultimately, she felt a little better. In that of itself, it is a victory, When asked for a list of things I need to take with me to the new place, it was nearly complete and sent, and thus a victory. When talking to my Dad, talking about the car, he was not upset or mad, just interested. That's a hell of a victory but I'd rather not disclose our relationship here yet if that's okay with you guys.

Despite my despair and despite setbacks, I still pulled several victories today, and that in itself to me is proof that the Morrigan still rests with me. To say something that sounds schizo, the crows still watch, though I do not see their eyes. The flock (or murder if you want to be technical but people get jumpy when you use that word) hasn't gone anywhere, and neither has my matron.

In essence, we die many deaths every day, my friends. The Morrigan, in my life, is the facilitator of how to turn a death into a victory in the end; just as she did for Cu in the end, in my interpretation.

And that's beautiful, and her true purpose in my practice in life.

Even if she has not spoken a word to me today, I still rang her bell. I still did my chores, I did what she asked me to do. I have in essence, passed the first part of the test by not giving into the despair I felt.

And neither should you, test or not.

It is unavoidable to talk about the present situations Americans like myself find themselves in. Many are facing crises I cannot even begin to fathom. Many people are struggling to live. I won't get into politics, that's not what this space is for. But we will live on, and we will have our victory.

The Morrigan chooses warriors. Even if our battle is not the ails of modern society, witches in of themselves fight for what we think is right, through spell work or through activism. If you feel threatened, do not stay silent. Speak out, even if it is scary.

And most of all, don't give into despair. Turn to your deities if you need help, or your friends, or your family.

If you have nothing, turn to your inner strength.

I will end this with a verse written by Nick Lutsko for his song Punchline from his upcoming album "Ends."

"Is there a path? Is there a purpose? Is there a payout? Do we deserve this? Is there a power, that I can interpret? I don't need a Punchline, to make it all worth it."