Feeding yourself is easily one of the hardest responsibility as an adult. It's even harder if you're neurodivergent - textures are ✨a lot✨, cooking takes so much energy, and actually planning meals can be almost impossible. A lot of us just end up not eating properly, because it just takes too much brain power some days.
So, let's make it simple.
dinner = a carb + a fat + a protein + a vegetable + incentive
"Okay..." You say, "but what does that mean??" Well, it can mean lots of things. I'd suggest making a personal, physical list of things you like/have. But for now, here's mine:
A carb: rice (instant packets are perfect), pasta, noodles (yep, 2 min noodles count), bread, potatoes
A fat: (that's right. A fat. That shit helps you digest all the vegetably goodness, okay? Don't go crazy, but some is necessary) butter, regular old vegetable oil, sesame oil, olive oil, cheese, cream, or whatever is already in the other ingredients (e.g. meat, nuts, avo)
A protein: chicken (pre-cooked works wonderfully), mince, tofu, egg, nuts, mushroom (gross but if you really must), salami, tuna - fuck it, even frozen chicken nuggets count
A vegetable: green is best but anything will do! Broccoli, kale (I love kale chips), spinach, red pepper, peas, beans, carrots, ANY AND ALL frozen veggies. Also - blending or finely shopping your veggies can be a lifesaver if you're not a fan of veggies
And finally, the most important bit - incentive. This is whatever will make your brain want to eat the meal. No judgement, I promise. The goal is to give your body the fuel it needs to keep chugging along - if the fuel has to be topped off with Bacon Bits and aioli, so be it. Mine are...
Incentive: seasoning like Nando's peri peri salt, chicken salt, garlic, onion, curry powder, lao gan ma. Toppings like fried onion, sesame seeds, pine nuts, cheese. Sauces like sweet chilli sauce, soy sauce, Japanese mayo, pesto, aioli. Or maybe, some random factor, like chop sticks, blue food dye (I'm a PJO fan...), a special bowl, preparing it as snack food, cutting things up into fun shapes, or buying alphabet pasta.
Finally, let's round out this post with some examples of dinners I've made recently using this formula:
Pasta + cream + chorizo + blanched and blended spinach + pesto = creamy pesto pasta
Couscous + salad sauce + Dino chicken nuggets + salad pack + the aforementioned Dino chicken nuggets = an insanely good salad (AND I took the leftovers to work)
I really hope this helped someone. I'm sending you all so much love and good vibes. This humaning shit is insanely hard and complicated, so if you're just getting through each day without adding to or subtracting from the population, you're already doing such a great job.
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On a beautiful day off I completely forgot to charge my phone, set an alarm, or take my meds. I only woke up because my dog and cat both started bugging me to get up. Then I realized I had a phone appointment in less than 30 minutes.
Turns out, unmedicated ADHD + a morning panic boost of adrenaline leads to super obvious symptoms.
Luckily, the appointment was for therapy where I rambled from topic to topic like an energizer bunny until I apologized because I forgot my meds. Maybe it was a good thing for my therapist to see instead of my normal fully awake levels of self-control.
I’ve been good about making sure I take my meds consistently for months now. So it’s always shocking to experience the out of control tailspin that is unmedicated stress. Especially when I literally rolled out of bed to it.
I figured since I missed my normal time I wouldn’t take it today since it’s long release. But the symptoms held on hard and I couldn’t get my racing thoughts and Chihuahua shaking anxiety under control. It was so bad that I finally gave in and took them.
I still have that energy humming through my body three hours later. But my god. The hour stretch it took for it to work was crazy to observe. The quiet and ability to focus that crept in. The way I was suddenly able to say enough to myself and calm down. I can’t believe I lived my whole life like the first part of my day. Not knowing it didn’t have to be like this.
I know meds don’t work or accessible to everyone. But if you are able and they work with your body, I would never speak bad about them. My personal experience they have been nothing but helpful.
If you know me, you probably know I have really bad ADHD/autism. I'm not very aware of my body's needs, I'm not very aware of time, I'm not very good at making sure "I'll do this SOON" isn't "I'll do this in 3 hours."
The Westminster Quarters are a set of chimes that play every 15 minutes. If you've been around a functional grandfather clock for an hour, you've probably heard at least the fourth-quarter chime. Big Ben plays all of them, and, as of yesterday, so does my computer.
The Actually Important Part
The Westminster Quarters are an external stimulus that happens reliably, which is super useful for me, because it makes me ask two important questions:
Does my body need anything?
Am I supposed to be doing something else? (So "I'll do it soon" becomes the more concrete and reliable "I'll do it next quarter.")
A lot of my issues with other coping mechanisms are that I have to engage with them, and so once I start forgetting them, they just... Stop working. This is a reminder to engage with other coping mechanisms; my ADHD brain can't answer those exact questions reliably without a bit of extra work. I'll make another post with those in a bit.
If anyone wants the python script I used to do it, let me know. It supports any sounds at whatever 4-digit time you want - I just set mine up with sounds I was familiar with.
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As a child I despised and I mean extremely hated reading.
I had a lightbulb moment making coffee and thought, “okay, I can read at least one chapter of something, right? I feel like my mom trying to coax me to read as a kid.”
I realized that as a kid with undiagnosed ADHD, of course I hated something that took soo much focus. I would rather play make believe with my own storylines. Not stare hard at a page of words in someone else’s ridged story.
Now as an adult, I have so many other worries and stressors I have an endless amount of other things to focus on. That I should make a priority over, ugh, fun.
This explains a ton about my complicated relationship with reading and writing. Maybe it’ll help me going forward.
Hello neurodivergent friends <3 today I just want to gift you with a quote I think about a lot:
"Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."
And here are some examples of where I apply this in my own life:
Dishes - fill the sink, soak the dishes for an hour, and empty (all of) the water out again. It's not properly cleaning the dishes. But, they are cleaner than they were before, and less likely to make you sick
Showering - can't manage a shower? Baby wipes, a damp cloth, or splashing water on the important bits is still better than not cleaning yourself at all. And you deserve a clean, healthy body
Food - some days, preparing a meal is literally impossible. It's okay to snack. Snacking is better than not eating at all
Cleaning - 2 minutes of cleaning in your bedroom will make a huge difference, I promise. Here's how to clean for ADHDers :)
Exercise - move your body, even a little bit. Dance to a song. Walk to your mailbox. Stretch
Go forth and half-ass it, Tumblr friends - if anyone asks (including that little asshole part of you that just loves to shit on you), Gabs said you could. You deserve to care for yourself. You deserve to do things your own way without shame. You deserve to feel a little better today than you did yesterday.
I know that passion project feels impossible while balancing the every day details.
The key is to remind ourselves we aren’t on a timeline. We aren’t competing with anyone else. Even if the world may try to tell us differently.
I struggle so much with maintaining hobbies and passions and when I “fail” I feel so much shame. Learning to overcome that is scary and frustrating and challenges my self-worth.
So much of our lives is picking up the pieces and continuing anyway. We know how to do this. We can do it.
