#adfecturomantic

free to use userboxes! credit not needed but appreciated

what better way to start than by explaining my identity. and to anyone saying i shouldn't rely on labels so much, i say suck my bpd "lack of identity" dick ;)

so, after years of questioning and some of not caring enough to question, i've reached the conclusion that i'm:

• arovague/adfecturomantic

i prefer arovague though, because i can't spell that other one. also i've seen a million and one definitions for both of those, so i do apologize if i didn't get the right one :'D

reason for this lavel is simple: i'm mentally ill (dxed bpd w npd traits and alexithymia), so it's hard (read: impossible) for me to connect with people, and this includes in a romantic sense

the closest i've gotten to feeling "love" is during the rare times when i idolise people, and i get over that too quickly anyway (1 day to a week usually)

• cupioromantic

part of why i'm cupio *cough*internalised arophobia*cough* is because i think that if i fake being "normal" enough, then maybe one day i will be

if i was just a plain ol' aro rather than bc of pds, and i could love people in any way but romantically, i doubt i would ID as cupio. but because i lack the ability to form any sort of connection with people, the possibility of *naruto voice* forming bonds has always attracted me

the other reason is because i like people at least 10+ y older than me, and good luck explaining to them what a QPR is :V

ps: im not saying all cupios have internalised arophobia (aphobia? forgot the word), but this one certainly does :')

hello nonny!!

I’m not sure whether my response will be as helpful as most of your research because I am still finding more information out about these orientations.

From what I’ve read, most of the orientations are due to previous experiences or trauma, from this post, mod Vagg said that Caedromantic was mainly an orientation that PTSD and trauma suffers experience. Acoromantic can also be categorized into being due because of past experiences, although acoromantic could also be due to large doubts about romantic and/or sexual relationships

For other orientations like requisromantic; being due to emotional exhaustion - a chronic state of physical and emotional depletion that results from excessive job and/or personal demands and continuous stress[source]. And adfecturomantic, which is due to one’s state of mind.

while arovague is more likely to be due to neurodiversity (other than NTs I think, but I have yet to finish researching) or being neurodivergent.

Adfecturomantic: Like adfectusexual aromantic based on neurodivergency.

:D

No it means that people who are aro-spec who feel their romantic orientation stems from their experiences with mental illnesses are queer and valid. If someone who has borderline personality disorder feels that their romantic attraction to someone is affected and rooted through or tied intrinsically with their borderline personality disorder, they could choose to identify as adfecturomantic, making them queer and valid.