#actuallygrey

ActuallyGrey- Cosplayer who posts selfies of himself/his cosplays along with a wide variety of nerdy and aesthetically pleasing things.

Clusterducked- My mother's niece by her first marriage, myself being the product of the second marriage this makes us absolutely nothing but we're cousins at heart. Cool chill person. Go follow em and throw em some love.

Jazzie560- Main blog of a friend of mine who does good art, mostly fandom stuff. AOT, Natuto, Soul eater, etc. But has some really good OCs and other stuff THAT SHE NEEDS TO DO MORE OF WINK WINK HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE.

bryankonietzko- Co creator of Avatar the last air bender and the legend of Korra. Responsible for so many emotions and a good chunk of the childhood of a lot of the people I know. Seems like a really cool guy, would want to drink a beer or some tea with him sometime.

Theacademy- Official tumblr page of the academy of motion picture arts and sciences. The people who do the Oscars. They post really awesome old photos from movies throughout the ages. Set photos, stuff like that. If you are a movie fan it's a must.

Aellagirl- Mime, cam model, and gnome survivor. Aella offers a wonderful and insightful perspective into the intellectual and human sexuality. Super inspiring for me personally for lots'o reasons.

Geothebio- Another cool artist friend of mine. Does fan art for way too much to list here, you've probably seen her stuff kicking around here or there. If you follow her tell her Bucky sent you.

Rick Riordan- Writer behind Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, The Kane Chronicles, and a bunch more! Posts info about his books, some really nice photos he takes himself, and stuff related to what he writes about.

Sweetkidlousycook- Buddy of mine on the other side of the pond. Posts some cool nerd stuff ranging as far as her interests. Harry Potter, Bioware, a song of ice and fire, what have you.

Mybravehenry- Fellow traveler of the globe and wonderful musician. I admire her light and beautiful outlook on the world. And in keeping with the trend of most of these must follows a nerd. A real cool one too.

Literal-Ghost- We met in a game stop once and since we locked eyes we had to pokemon battle. We've kept in touch ever since. Posts her own art, as well as general nerd stuff along with some beautiful and insightful things about animation, a realm I usually don't see much off.

Never-Behind- If the aesthetic of "old world European forest magic" catches your interest go follow her!

Why-I-love-comics- Everything you could possibly want to see or know about comic books. Made me want to get into comic books (which I never did before!)

Malefactum- The best word I can think of to describe this blog is "Slytherin" though there is almost never any Harry Potter related content posted. European Architecture, Exquisite men and women, and more besides. Truly captures the power of beauty.

Ericscissorhands- The most excellent collection of original and reblogged gifsets you will find on the entirety of tumblr. If you love a good villain, this is a must follow without question.

Felitomkinson- A rock star artist and cosplayer. Remember that 100%  on point Tomb Raider cosplay that you thought must have been photo shopped? That was her, that's her real face! She's also a huge sweet heart and seeing her interact with people is a joy. 

Napallama- Another Artist, hahah I like art can you tell? Also another cosplayer! Pretty phenomenal work really. The kind of stuff that makes me want to seriously get into the stuff! Also got me to watch Psycho-Pass and once again indulge in anime.

Thehuglife- "I am chronically ill and also chronically chill. I love you today"

Finally weeding through my #grey bloggin tag, and here's what matters:

Greyness 301: summary of the 2014 SF Ace Unconference's grey/demi/semi caucus. If you read anything please read this one.

Grey(-A) Defs and Meanderings: about how we define grey, and visibility work

the diversity of greyness: what it is and what it isn't (and what gets said about it)

Grey(A)ness Subsets: an exercise in expanding more types of greyness

on "cannot tell the difference between types of attraction" and how that's missing the point

on neurodivergence, and grey/aceness being linked, and how it's more complicated than "erasure of aceness"

recent grey(a)-related words: a compilation of words and definitions from mogai-archive, with a smidge of analysis

quoiromantic clarification: my response to interpretations of my quoi- words, and what i meant. some quotes:

but when i coined it, it was not about “the difference between” attractions OR about being a catchall.  it was about “romantic attraction” and “romantic orientation” not making sense — borrowing from my quoigender definition, being “inaccessible, inapplicable, non-sensical, &c”

also, please don’t exclude quoisexual by focusing on quoiromantic.  quoisexual is the one most important to me personally, because my brand of greyness is “wtf even is sexual attraction am i experiencing it RIGHT NOW uhhhhhhh oh my god this doesn’t make sense.”

Fris Follow Forever (I love all of you guys)

A-I

actuallygrey ashley-breeze bastille bravenewuniverse chanstraeus  doctordonna10 foreveralonefangirl frigginwinchesters goombavevo hiddlesneezes humongofrog im-gay-for-ally-a

K-R katthedemonslayer kevin-freakin-solo-bitch leviathans-in-the-tardis mew-in-the-tardis mglaciem mileycyrusdrake @missdemonqueen natalielifepyre

nicole-soul-thief @okendenski pastelstrawberriess pyrodancer readyfor2048

Okay. I am finally sorting through my notes from the SF Ace Unconference, and we had an amazing discussion at the Grey/Demi/Semi Caucus. I hope to expand more on this later, and have bolded the parts that resonate most with me. For now:

- Greyness as confusing. As not being sure whether sexual attraction is happening or not, has happened or not, will keep happening or not. This aspect hardly ever gets mentioned in 101s, but almost always in my convos with actual grey folk. The “wtf?? maybe?? is that what this is?? I can’t tell?” factor.

- Ace/Allo is not a binary OR a spectrum. There is no linear way to map greyness between ace/allo.

- Conceptualizing “who am I / would I be sexually attracted to” based on a database of past experiences. Not abstract fantasy, not being able to fantasize about a generic or cobbled-together figure. Being able to deduce patterns from past experience on a cognitive, analytical level (eg “they’ve all been brunettes”), not a visceral one. “Type” as a statistical probability model.

- Repulsion as a clearer experence than attraction. Still confusing sometimes. Building a database of repulsion and analyzing for a pattern, again. Not knowing in advance if an act with a person will be attractive/repulsive/indifferent, because again, abstract fantasy (even with a specific person, if a certain act you haven’t done with them yet).

- Not being able to use past experience before identifying as grey and using the grey lens, because can’t be sure of misinterpreting or reinterpreting to fit a theory. How to tell if your sexuality shifted, or was fluid? How to tell if you were simply unaware? How to tell if you were processing things differently than you are now?

- What is curiosity, versus attraction? How to tell the difference, and how to explore responsibly? What is “using” people, what is okay? (What needs to be disclosed, and when, and how do you when it’s unclear in the first place?)

- Sexual attraction as a social construct, like biological sex or gender. Useful for many people, but…limited? Weaponized, harmful, albeit not innately? Overapplied, compulsory?

- Greyness as privacy. Umbrella terms as comfortably vague, ala queer. So personal, may not even want a “clear” identity. What to disclose to who and when.

- Layers of unconscious, subconscious, conscious. Where is sexual attraction? When it’s buried at the bottom of the ocean, is hauling it up worth the effort? What about when it keeps slipping away before you can get a good look at it? What if trying to look at it makes it disappear?

- Lock-down mechanisms, being able to turn off sexual attraction based on context, inappropriateness. In a public setting, or if someone is unavailable (monogamously committed, asexual, not into you, etc). Is that repression? Is it inherently bad? Is it useful? How do you unlock, if context changes? Certainly this experience seems alien to media, which is often about unstoppable attraction. Can allo people do this? Do they notice? How conscious is it anyway?

- What about having the opportunity to be sexually attracted? What if you’re into non-binary people and there’s no one out near you? What if you’re at an all-girl school and you like boys? What if you’re homeschooled? What if you’re disabled and don’t get out much?