#911 reader insert

“V-tach!” Someone shouts. “Everyone clear!”

Buck’s chest jolts upwards as the shock is administered.

“We got a pulse!”

You heave out a breath. You feel helpless as they wheel him away.

“H-he has a history of blood clots,” you eventually call out. “He’s not on any medications, but he’s allergic to naproxen.”

“Got it,” A doctor calls in response, “we’ll do our best.”

“Do more!” Eddie shouts as they turn the corner.

You turn to Eddie, limbs numb from shock. “What the hell happened?”

“It was so quick,” Eddie whispers, still staring straight ahead. “One second, he was up on the ladder, and the next, he was just… dangling. He was dead.”

You set a careful hand on Eddie’s shoulder, which prompts him to pull you into a hug.

“He’s gonna be okay,” you whisper.

You don’t know what you’ll do if he isn’t.

Buck awakens slowly, blinking a few times before fully opening his eyes.

“It’s about time,” you say softly.

Buck figures out quickly that he’s in a hospital; the air is stale, his usual pajamas are replaced by a gown, and the sheets beneath him are stiff instead of soft. The only problem is, he doesn’t know why he’s in the hospital. If anything, he should be there for you, since your due date is quickly approaching.

“What happened?” Buck asks, rubbing his forehead as he slowly comes to.

“You fell off a ladder, hit your head. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything too serious. Daniel will be back with your discharge papers.”

“...Daniel? My brother?”

You were there for Buck when he learned about his older brother. He has no clue why you’re talking about him now.

“...yeah?” you say with a confused smile. “I’m going to start packing stuff up.”

You stand up, and Buck’s eyes widen.

“You’re not pregnant,” he whispers.

“Thank god for that,” you laugh out, putting a few things into your purse.

“W-what happened?” Buck chokes out. “D-did you… oh, god…”

“What? Whoa, hey!” You spin around, quickly moving to Buck when you see how panicked he is. “Baby, I was pregnant. Two years ago.”

Buck lets out a sigh of relief. “Katie.”

You smile, setting your hands on his cheeks. “Yes, Katie, our daughter. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Buck has a daughter. He’s never been more okay in his life. He relaxes, running his hands up and down your arms.

“What about Eddie?”

Your smile turns into one of confusion. “What about Eddie?”

“How… How is he?” Buck asks dumbly.

You shrug, your hands falling to your sides. “No clue. I haven’t talked to him since be moved back to Texas.”

Buck’s head feels like it’s spinning. “...huh?”

“His parents got full custody of his kid, and he moved to Texas to be closer to them,” you explain casually. “You don’t remember that?”

How can you sound so calm about it? Eddie is a huge part of both of your lives. Hell, he’s one of Katie’s parents … isn’t he?

“We… we’re not… he didn’t…”

Buck cuts himself off with a few gasps. He tries to take a deep breath, but his lungs feel constricted. He’s panicking, and he has no idea how to stop it.

“We need a nurse!” Eddie shouts before you can.

You’re supposed to be one in a few months, but you’ve never felt so out of your depth. You had a single lecture about ventilators in nursing school, most of which you didn’t retain. All you see is that the top bar — the volume of air delivered — is alarming. You see Buck’s chest rapidly rising and falling.

“Buck, if you can hear me, you need to breathe, okay?” you whisper in his ear as you run a hand over his face. “Just breathe, baby.”

A few nurses rush in, and you step back before they have to push you out of the way.

“His sats are dropping,” one nurse notes while the other puts a stethoscope to Buck’s chest. “We need to take him off and a bag him.”

You keep backing up until you hit something. A pair of strong arms wrap around you, one resting across your chest while the other cradles your stomach. Eddie.

“He’s gonna be okay,” Eddie whispers in your ear.

All you can do is grip his arm like a lifeline.

“Buck, can you hear me? …Buck!”

Buck looks around, his eyes landing on you.

“Where’d you go, babe?” you chuckle.

“Sorry, I was… I don’t know. Sorry.”

The details come back to him slowly: his parents and Daniel came over for family dinner, along with Maddie, her daughter, and her husband. Her daughter and husband, Genevieve and Doug. A bitter taste fills Buck’s mouth.

“I can’t believe she stayed with him,” he says quietly. “He’s gonna kill her.”

You sigh sadly as you gather some plates. “I think I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve told her that. I mean, hell, we work in an ER together, for god’s sake. She’s seen what men are capable of. I know leaving is easier said than done, but…”

Buck’s memories are hazy, only occasionally coming into focus. As you turn on the sink, he studies you.

“You’re a nurse,” he says.

“Sure am,” you return. “It’s not like that’s how we met, or anything.”

Oh, yeah. Buck stopped by after school let out to check up on a student he had to call EMS for. The poor girl had a seizure, scared the crap out of her classmates. She had already transferred to the pediatric floor for monitoring by the time he got there, but in the ER, he ran into you. He asked Maddie for your number, and the rest was history.

A student… Buck’s a teacher. 5th…? No, 6th grade. On his first date with you, he explained that 6th grade is the best because you get to see children growing into their personalities before the awkward teenage years. God, he loves his job. He knows you love yours, too, and though they aren’t in the same profession, it’s something you both quickly bonded over.

“Just testing you,” Buck jokes.

You face him with a hum, wrapping your arms around his neck. His brows knit closer together ever so slightly. You pick up on it.

“What’s wrong?” you ask softly.

“Something feels… off,” Buck replies, unsure of how else to phrase it. “It’s like all the pieces of a puzzle are falling into place, but one is missing.”

“Poetic,” you remark.

“I’m serious,” Buck insists. “...Why did he move away?”

You sigh as you move your hands down to Buck’s shoulders. “We’re not seriously talking about Eddie again, are we?”

“It just… feels like it never really ended, right? Like he’s a loose end.”

“Oh, he’s something alright,” you scoff as you turn back towards the sink and start washing dishes.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

You set down a plate with a clatter. “You remember what he did, Evan: he almost destroyed us.”

A little while after Eddie’s shooting, the three of you sat down and wrote your Advanced Directives and assigned each other as Power of Attorneys in case of… well, something exactly like this. So when Dr. Becker asks to speak to you and Eddie privately, you know it’s to discuss further treatment options.

Turns out, there aren’t very many. They already have him on a paralytic drip to keep him compliant with the ventilator, but his lungs still aren’t pulling good tidal volumes. She says that proning— or laying him on his stomach — could maybe improve things, but considering the cause of his respiratory failure, it’s unlikely.

“...which leaves us with Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation as our best option.”

“ECMO?” you ask.

ECMO is another topic you had a singular lecture on, but you know enough to know it’s not good. You also know it’s not good because you, Eddie, Dr. Becker, and Buck’s nurse are all sitting in a secluded conference room. You don’t get good news in a hospital conference room.

Dr. Becker nods. “It would be Veno-Venous, meaning it bypasses the lungs instead of the lungs and the heart.”

Eddie nods a little. “Well, that’s… good, right? I mean, bypassing one organ sounds better than bypassing two.”

You keep staring at Dr. Becker. “There’s something you’re not saying.”

Eddie frowns, glancing between the two of you. “What? What aren’t you saying?”

Dr. Becker sighs. “ECMO is known as a ‘Hail Mary’ in the world of medicine.”

That’s how you remember your instructor phrasing it — ECMO is an absolute last-ditch effort. It’s only considered when every other option has been explored.

“It’s not a cure: it’s a bridge,” you say, trying (and failing) to keep your voice level.

“It can give him the time his lungs need to heal,” Dr. Becker explains.

“And if it doesn’t, he’d need a transplant,” you continue. “And if he can’t get a transplant…”

“...he would stay on ECMO indefinitely.”

“...Or he would…” you start but cut yourself off with a sob. You clasp a hand over your mouth, forcing yourself to take a breath. “...or he would die.”

The words don’t sit right on your tongue. Your lips twist as they make their way out, like you ate something sour.

Dr. Becker’s face stays even, but you catch a glimpse of something in her eyes: pity. “Yes.”

You scoot back in your chair, making a break for the door. The protests of Dr. Becker and Eddie make it to your ears but not your brain. All you can focus on is the bile that’s climbing to the back of your throat.

You slam open the door of a single-stall bathroom, barely able to lock it before you collapse to your knees in front of the toilet. You gag several times, only spit and stomach acid eventually making their way up. Now that you think about it, you can’t remember the last time you ate something.

You eventually sit on the floor, resting your head against the tile wall. You take a few breaths, rubbing your palm over your chest. Then, you feel a sudden gush between your legs. Against your better judgment, you stay seated, eyes wide and heart pounding.

No. No, no, no. Not now. Not with everything going on.

Not without him.

Eddie said he was in love with you, and you said you were dating Buck. Buck’s pretty sure that’s part of why he moved to Texas: to get away from you. Something about it doesn’t sit right in his stomach.

“That’s not how it was supposed to happen,” Buck murmurs, setting his hands on the counter and leaning into it.

“How exactly was it supposed to happen?” you counter, placing your left hand close to his.

Buck sees a ring. It’s a diamond, probably not a real one, but it looks convincing enough. His eyes move to his own left hand, and sure enough, a gold band is wrapped around his fourth finger.

“We’re married,” he says, almost inaudibly.

“You proposed after a year,” you recall fondly. “I thought you were crazy, but… it’s our five-year anniversary next week.”

Buck should be happy. He should be overjoyed, really — he has everything he’s ever wanted. He has a beautiful wife, an amazing daughter, and a fulfilling career. Still, his gut twists and turns.

“He was in love with you,” Buck eventually says.

“And I’m in love with you,” you state, “so nothing else matters.”

“But it does,” Buck argues, pushing against the counter until he’s standing up straight. “It does matter.”

“Why?” you frown. “Eddie is long gone, Buck. That chapter of our lives has been closed for a while.”

“It’s not supposed to happen like this!” Buck shouts.

You go still, swallowing. “What does that mean?”

“It’s… it’s supposed to be the five of us!” Buck says as he starts to pace. “It’s supposed to be me, you, and him, raising Katie and Chris.”

You look at him like he’s speaking French. “What the hell are you talking about, Buck?”

Buck halts his pacing and turns to you. “Are you in love with him?”

You snort. “What?”

“Are you in love with him?” He repeats.

“Buck, I love you,” you counter.

“I know you do, and you know I love you,” Buck says, a sense of deja vu washing over him, “but I’m asking if you love him.”

You and Eddie ultimately consent to the ECMO cannulation. Buck’s struggled his whole life, and he’s always taken it in stride. He deserves the chance to walk away from this.

That being said, he drew some strong lines in the sand in his Advanced Directives, and you and Eddie have no intentions of erasing them. Buck specifically refused the placement of a tracheostomy and gave a general timeline of two weeks for his status to improve before medical efforts should be ceased. He also said that if at any point it’s suspected he won’t make a meaningful recovery, care should be withdrawn. You’re not at that point yet, but with each hour, you can feel it getting closer.

You went home after agreeing to the cannulation, too emotionally and physically exhausted to stick around. Besides, Chris should have at least one of his parents send him off to school that morning. You briefly explained Buck’s condition and that children aren’t allowed to visit in the ICU before kissing his cheek and seeing him off for the day.

When you finally get a chance to change, you notice the gush you felt earlier; it’s the ‘bloody show’ your OB warned you about. It’s a mix of the mucus plug and some frank blood, normally passed anywhere from days to hours before active labor. You still have time.

Then, as if the universe is playing a trick on you, you feel a contraction.

You lean against the dresser, inhaling slowly. Braxton Hicks are noticeable, but they’re short, normally lasting only a few seconds. By the time you’re done exhaling, it’s over. Or… it should be over. This one continues.

“Come on, Katie,” you mumble, rubbing up and down your tight belly, “not now.”

You count to twenty before the contraction ceases. The paramedic part of your brain screams, but the overly tired part takes over. You don’t panic. You don’t call Eddie. You don’t call anyone.

You go to sleep.

“It… it doesn’t matter,” you repeat, tripping over the words.

“It doesn’t?” Buck challenges. “Because I love him.”

“Why are you doing this?” you whisper.

The look on your face hurts Buck’s heart. Still, he persists.

“This isn’t how this is supposed to happen,” Buck says softly. “This… it isn’t real.”

“Buck, I love you,” you cry. “We have a family.”

“This isn’t real,” Buck repeats, mostly to himself. He squeezes his eyes shut and buries his hands in his hair.

This isn’t happening. This isn’t real. This isn’t happening. This isn’t real. This isn’t —

When he opens his eyes, there’s nothing. Quite literally, nothing. All Buck can see is black. He takes a step forward, almost expecting the ground to ripple beneath him. It doesn’t.

He starts running. He doesn’t know if he’s running away from something or towards something, but either way, he’s running. Normally, he’d run until he was out of breath. That doesn’t seem to happen, though, so he just keeps putting one foot in front of the other.

“You figured it out,” a voice cuts into his head.

Buck spins around. There’s no one there.

“You were always too smart for your own good.”

The voice is familiar, and not in a comforting way, like the softness of an overworn hoodie. It’s more like being haunted by a ghost.

“You could’ve been happy.”

“It wasn’t real!” Buck shouts into the void.

“It could’ve been,” the voice counters. “If only you’d let it.”

You get back to the hospital later that evening. You plan on switching out with Eddie. What you don’t plan on is seeing Christopher in the waiting room.

“Buddy, what are you doing here?” You ask.

Hen shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, but he insisted on coming.”

“I need to see Buck,” Chris replies. “I have to talk to him.”

“They don’t let kids in the ICU, Chris,” you say softly.

“I don’t care!”

You sigh, running a hand down your face.

“...Maybe we can find a workaround,” Hen offers.

By some miracle, Hen distracts the nurse long enough for you to sneak Christopher into Buck’s room. Eddie’s eyes widen as he stands up, approaching you both.

“I couldn’t say no,” you say weakly with a shrug.

You both watch as Christopher takes a few steps forward, looking at all the devices.

“Is he sleeping?” He asks.

“Something like that,” Eddie responds, voice thick.

“He’s resting, so the machines can do all the work to make him feel better,” you explain.

Chris nods. “Can he hear me?”

You look over at Eddie, who’s wiping away a few tears.

“I bet he can,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to stay level.

“Hey, Buck. It’s Christopher. I know you’re sick, but it’s only temporary. You’re going to be okay,” Chris says, reaching out to touch Buck’s arm. “Wherever you are, you have to come back.”

Wherever you are right now, you have to come back.

“I’m not supposed to be here,” Buck says. He doesn’t know if he’s talking to the voice or to himself.

“You can’t go back,” the voice says. “It’s too late.”

“I’m running out of time,” Buck says quietly.

He catches something in the corner of his eye. He turns around to face a mirror. It has to be a mirror — he’s staring at himself.

“You’re dying,” the voice says. Only, it isn’t a voice; it’s his reflection. “Turns out, your parents were right: you aren’t invincible. Weren’t, I guess.”

“This isn’t how it ends,” Buck argues weakly. “I have a family out there.”

“What, your parents?” His reflection scoffs. “The people so caught up in grieving their son that they forgot they still had one left? Or your sister, who’s so busy with her own kid that she won’t even notice you’re gone?”

Buck doesn’t like this version of himself. It’s probably who he’d become had he never joined the 118. It isn’t even Buck… it’s Evan.

“My family,” Buck argues. “My partners. My son. My daughter.”

“It’s sad she’ll never get to meet you,” Evan says, tilting his head. “It’s probably easier that way, though. The other three… that one’s gonna hurt.”

In a mere twelve hours, Buck turns a corner. The ECMO is already titrated down to a level that could warrant decannulation. They discontinued the paralytic and are currently running a spontaneous breathing trial, which involves Buck doing all the work of breathing. He’s an hour in and doing great.

You sit in an armchair beside his bed, picking at a sandwich Eddie got you from the cafeteria. You feel Eddie set his hands on your shoulders.

“You have to eat something, mi amor,” He murmurs as he kneads your neck muscles.

You let out a sigh, setting the sandwich aside and leaning into his touch. Then, you hiss out a breath and grab your stomach involuntarily.

Eddie’s hands stall. “Is that a contraction?”

You close your eyes as you focus on your breathing. You feel Eddie brush past your arm, and when you open your eyes, he’s kneeling in front of you.

“Don’t worry, they’re still 15 minutes apart.”

“...You’ve been having them regularly?!”

“15 minutes means I’m still in latent labor, not active.”

“You’re in labor, ” Eddie parrots, standing back up.

“Yeah, and I’m not having her until we know Buck is okay,” you say definitively.

Eddie runs his hands down his face. “How long have you been in labor?”

“...15 hours, I think.”

Eddie’s eyes widen.

“People can be in latent labor for days , Eddie,” you argue. “Besides, I checked myself earlier, and I’m only like, three centimeters dilated.”

“You…” Eddie cuts himself off with a heavy sigh.

“This is not a big deal!”

“How is this not a big deal?!”

“Because I’m not having her until Buck is okay,” you repeat.

It doesn’t make sense. The rational part of your brain knows that. However, the rational part of your brain is taking a hiatus. In its place is an irrational, scared shitless pregnant woman running rampant with hormones. You simply cannot fathom Buck not being there for his daughter’s birth. And so, you don’t.

“Babe…” Eddie says, exasperated.

“What?” you say, standing up. “We probably have days before we need to worry about this. Lets focus on Buck for now.”

Eddie’s eyes trail from your face down to your legs. “Babe.”

“What?” you huff.

“Your water just broke.”

You look down. Your pants are stained with an obvious wet spot, and you can feel something cold trickling down your leg.

“...Fuck.”

-------

The phone rang three times before a familiar voice sounded. “911, what's your emergency?”

You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to explain your predicament. “Hi, Maddie.”

“Y/N?” She asked. “What's going on? Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I'm fine,” you started. “I mean… mostly.”

“Are you at home?” Maddie asked.

“Yep. So I was getting some decorations out of the attic because I didn't want to wait for the guys.” You shifted slightly as you explained and a pain shot through your arm. You sucked in a sharp breath. “Ah, shit. Ouch.”

“I'm dispatching the 118. They’ll be there soon,” she said. “What happened?”

“I couldn't see around the boxes and I was just going to set them by the ladder, but I misjudged and I fell through the ladder opening.”

She gasped. “Oh, my god.”

“It's not that bad. I just think I dislocated my shoulder.”

“Help will be there in about two minutes, okay? Are you sure it's just your shoulder? Are you bleeding? Did you hit your head?” She peppered you with questions.

“Uh, not bleeding, I don't think. At least nothing significant. And I'm not sure about my head. Honestly, everything kind of hurts but the shoulder is the worst.”

She kept asking questions and then moved on to some small talk while you waited. Eventually, you heard a key in the front door before it was pushed open.

“Thanks, Mads. They’re here.”

“Y/N! You heard Buck and Eddie both yell as they made their way through the house.

“In here!” You called from the bed.

Buck and Eddie were both beside you a moment later. “Oh, sweetheart,” Eddie winced as he took you in. “What are you doing in here? Maddie said you fell down the attic ladder.”

“I did. But I thought I was fine and I got up and came in here to look in the mirror but then my arm started really hurting, so I sat here.”

“You don't know if you hit your head?” Eddie asked.

“Um, well I wasn't sure…” you felt tears well in your eyes as you stared at your boys. Buck took your hand as Eddie wrapped a BP cuff around your arm. “But the longer I sit here the more everything hurts. And my head really hurts right here.” You pointed to the back or your head just behind your ear.

Hen moved behind you and gently ran her hand over the spot. “Yeah, she's got a good size bump.”

You hiccuped as you tried to keep from sobbing as the pain and panic tried to bubble over.

“Hey,” Buck squeezed your hand to pull your attention to him. “We're here, okay? You're gonna be okay.”

You tried to wipe your face with your good arm. “I-I'm scared,” you admitted quietly.

Buck squeezed your hand. “I know. But we got you, okay?”

You sniffled. “‘Kay.”

“BP and heart rate are a little high,” Eddie directed to Hen.

“I'm kind of dizzy, too. And, uh, my ribs hurt here,” you pointed to the side with the hurt shoulder.”

Eddie just nodded, taking a mental note. “What about your neck? Any pain when you turn your head?”

You tested the motion. “Not really. It feels stiff, like when you sleep wrong but that's it.”

“Okay. I'm going to help you move over to the stretcher and then we'll get you something for pain.” Eddie explained.

Moving was significantly more painful than it had been when you sat down here. You cried out as pain shot through your torso from standing. Both Eddie and Buck offered soft reassurances as they shifted you as carefully as possible.

They quickly got you situated on the stretcher and Hen placed an IV. She pushed pain meds while Eddie finished checking your vitals. Buck continued to hold your hand and offer comfort, reminding you that everything was going to be okay.

Once they'd loaded you into the ambulance, Hen and Eddie moved around you in practiced synchronicity. Eddie placed leads for a heart monitor while Hen clipped the pulse ox to your finger and started another BP reading.

Lastly, Eddie flashed a light into your eyes causing you to wince. You saw the worried look that flashed in his eyes before he locked it down with a mask of professionalism. “Pupils are uneven, right is sluggish.”

“What does that mean?” You asked.

“It's probably just a concussion but the hospital will want to do a CT scan,” Eddie explained.

You squeezed Buck’s hand hard, trying to stay calm. Suddenly, you were overwhelmingly nauseous. “Um, I think I'm gonna be sick.”

Hen managed to place a barf bag in front of your face just in time. You threw up another two times and were surprised how much energy it had taken.

You let your head fall back against the stretcher. “I'm so tired.”

Eddie shined the light in your eyes once more. He managed to keep his face neutral which worried you more. “I need you to try and stay awake for me, okay?”

You whined. “I'm so, so tired though.”

Buck ran his free hand over your head. “We're almost there. Just try your best, okay?”

“Mmkay,” you mumbled. You tried to keep your eyes locked on them but before long you couldn't keep your eyes open any longer.

–---

Your whole body felt heavy. You heard a lot of beeping, some seemed close by and others further away. You groaned trying to shift but only managing to move your fingers.

“Whoa. Y/N?” Buck asked.

Someone squeezed your fingers and then ran a hand over the top of your head. “Are you awake, cariña?”

You groaned again, trying desperately to open your eyes. You squeezed the fingers in your hand lightly once more.

“Come on, baby,” Buck begged. “You can do it. Just open those eyes for us.”

They both continued to offer words of encouragement and soft touches. Eventually, you managed to crack your eyes open just a smidge. You winced against the brightness and then slowly your vision started to clear.

“There you are,” Eddie smiled.

Buck leaned down and kissed your forehead. “I'm going to go grab the nurse. I'll be right back.”

“What happened?” Your throat felt dry.

“What's the last thing you remember?” Eddie asked, offering you a straw from a small cup of water. “Small sips.”

After a little water, your throat felt slightly better. “Uh, I was getting the decorations out of the attic. I climbed up there then I don't know.”

Buck came back with the nurse. She took a set of vitals while she asked you questions. “Do you have any pain?”

“Uh huh. Everywhere.”

She nodded. “Okay, how bad on a scale of one to ten?”

You shifted slightly trying to make yourself more comfortable but winced. “Maybe a four or five?”

“Okay. I already paged the doctor,” she explained. “He should be here soon. Once he does his exam, I'll make sure he puts in orders for more pain meds.”

“Thanks.”

She headed toward the door. “I'll be back in a minute when he gets here.”

Once she pulled the door closed, you looked back to Eddie waiting for him to finally answer your question.

He took your hand and squeezed it as Buck took the seat on your other side. “You were in the attic getting decorations out. You were carrying boxes so you couldn't see and misjudged where the ladder hole was and you fell.”

You winced, glad you couldn't remember that. “But you guys were at work. Oh, my god. Did I get knocked out? Did you have to come home and find me? I'm so sorry.”

“No.” Buck said as he placed his hand on your thigh. “You called 911. Maddie got your call and sent us.”

You scowled. “I don't remember any of that.”

“I'm not surprised.” Eddie pulled your attention back to him. “You hit your head. You lost consciousness in the ambulance. There was a subdural hematoma. They had to do surgery to relieve the pressure.”

You glanced over to Buck and the look on his face was almost enough to break you. “You scared the shit out of us, baby. You've been unconscious for thirty-six hours.”

There was a knock at the door before it swung open to reveal the doctor and the nurse. He took his time asking you questions and performing a full neuro check.

“Everything looks good,” the doctor explained. “I will get an order put in for PCA so that way you have a button to self-administer pain medication as you need. Just get some rest, okay?”

“When will I get to go home?”

The doctor chuckled. “That disappointed in our hospitality?”

“This bed isn't very comfortable,” you explained.

“Sorry to break it to you, but you'll be here for a few days at least,” he explained. “Right now we are still monitoring your intracranial pressure to make sure the bleeding has stopped. You can't even wander the halls quite yet.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said, offering his hand to shake.

They left again with the nurse promising to be right back with your pain meds.

“I can't believe you just asked when you can go home.” Buck tried to hold back his laughter. “You've been awake for ten minutes after having brain surgery and your trying for a jailbreak.”

You pouted. “This bed is not comfortable and it's too small. I don't think I can even fit one of you with me to cuddle.”

Eddie ran his fingers across your cheek. “I don't think that'd be a great idea right now anyway. Considering your dislocated shoulder, broken ribs, and your sprained ankle.”

“This sucks,” you whined.

“We’re just glad you're going to be okay,” said Eddie.

Buck took your hand. “We might not be able to cuddle, but we will be right here until you do get to go home.”

“But you have to go to work.”

“No, we don't,” Buck explained. “Bobby gave us furlough until you're home. He insisted, actually. He doesn't think our focus would be where it needs to be right now and he's not wrong.”

The nurse came back and quickly set up your meds and handed you a cord with a button. “You push that whenever your pain gets too much, okay?”

You nodded slowly. “Thank you.” You pushed the button before setting the cord by your leg.

“It's also probably going to make you a bit drowsy,” she said.

“Sure is,” you slurred, your eyelids already feeling heavy.

“Get some rest, amor.”

“We will be here when you wake up.”

“Love you,” you mumbled as you drifted to sleep.

The last thing you heard was both of them. “We love you, too.”

Without thinking, your hands moved to your stomach and caressed it lovingly, a soft smile on your face as you did so. It was much too early to feel anything, but still, your little nudger was in there.

You had no idea when you woke up this morning and kissed Buck goodbye before going your separate ways, that a routine checkup at the doctor's office would lead to finding out you were pregnant.

It was beyond unexpected, but certainly not unwelcomed. Or at least you hoped.

There was a tiny worry in your mind that he wouldn’t be happy, but you didn’t want to focus on that as you knew it was simply anxiety talking. Buck loved you, adored you, and had told you many times he wanted a future with you. A child with you.

Sure, the situation might not be exactly perfect. The two of you weren’t married, and the one-bedroom loft was less than ideal for your growing family, but the two of you had love and trust. 

Together, you would figure everything out and be the happy family you had always dreamed of.

Your thoughts were interrupted as the front door opened and your boyfriend strode inside. Buck looked tired, as he always did after a long shift, but he brightened the moment he saw you.

“Welcome home, baby,” you said, standing up with a smile on your face.

“Sweetheart, you know you didn’t have to wait up,” Buck said, heading over to you and pulling you into a tight loving embrace.

“Of course I did, I needed to see you,” you murmured, pressing a soft kiss into his neck. “I missed you.”

“God, I missed you more. I am so glad to be home with you, today was one intense call after another. Tomorrow is my day off, thank fuck. Yours too right?”

Chuckling lightly at the hope and worry in his voice, you nodded. “Yes, we’ll be able to spend the whole day together. Promise.”

“Wonderful,” Buck said, visibly relieved. “Is it alright if we go ahead and get some rest then? We can sleep in late, then I’ll wake up and make us a big breakfast.”

“Sure, baby.”

You bit the inside of your mouth to keep yourself from smiling as the night was going exactly as you wanted. The time to surprise him was getting closer and closer, making it hard to contain your excitement.

Taking his hand, you led him into the bedroom, doing your best to avoid looking at your shared dresser. You sat down on the bed, letting go of his hand and watching as he drifted around the room.

You knew your boyfriend’s usual nightly routine by heart. He tended to shower at the station, so all he had to do was brush his teeth, put on some facial cream, and change into his pajamas, which were in his top drawer. There, he would find your hidden surprise.

It was hard, but you waited patiently until Buck was done in the bathroom and practically counted his steps as he headed over to the dresser. Your anticipation was ready to burst and he had no idea.

“God, I can’t wait to get in bed. I’m going to pass right out,” he yawned, pulling the drawer open before freezing in place.

Buck stood there for a good thirty seconds, you eyeing him with bated breath as you awaited his reaction. He turned around slowly, his blue eyes wide as he clutched the tiny green striped onesie that said “I love you.”

The moment you left the doctor's office, you headed right over to Target and bought it. It was how your mother told your father and so you knew it was the perfect way to tell Buck the news.

“___, does this mean what I think? I mean we’re p-pre…?” Buck seemed unable to get the final word out.

“Pregnant? Yes, we are,” you finished for him as you stood up slowly.

His reaction didn’t tell you much. He looked as if his entire world had come to a halt.

He’s upset. He isn’t happy and doesn’t want this.

The intrusive thought came on fast, but you pushed it away. All you wanted was to be in this moment with Buck. Whatever happened and however he felt, the two of you were in this together.

“Are you… happy?” You asked hesitantly, unconsciously wringing your hands together.

Buck let out a deep exhale and locked eyes with you. The deep emotion now smoldering in them caught you by surprise.

“Happy? There’s not a word to describe what I’m feeling… Sweetheart, we’re going to have a baby! We’re going to be parents!”

Before you could respond, Buck was pulling you into a bear hug and lifting you as he swung the two of you around. Before he suddenly froze and placed you down carefully.

“Oh god, you’re pregnant. I shouldn’t swing you. I’m sorry, fuck, are you dizzy?” He asked with genuine fear in his doe eyes.

You only laugh at his question. One, from utter relief, and two, from how adorable he was. Gosh, you were truly lucky.

“I’m just fine, Buck. Promise. I’m just so relieved that you’re happy,” you murmured, bringing your hand up to gently caress his cheek.

Buck's eyebrows furrowed. “Of course. Did you think I wouldn’t be?”

“It was just my anxiety talking. I mean I’ve never had to tell someone I was pregnant before so my brain was running through every possible response, ya know?”

“That makes sense, but darling I love you unconditionally. This is a surprise, but a welcomed one. We’re going to be a family,” Buck whispered, voice thick with heavy emotion as he placed a gentle hand on your stomach.

“We are and it sounds so scary, but at the same time like everything I’ve ever wanted.”

You gazed into his eyes as you said that and leaned in to meet his lips in a deep passionate kiss.

Whatever the future may hold, you no longer had any worries. Your new and growing family would face it together.

My Masterlist || My AO3 || Please leave feedback, helps motivate! :) Thank you for reading~

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@icemansgirl1999  @wildflowermandi​  @kittycat-cas​

When you get hurt, Evan realizes why you act the way you do when he gets hurt.

The worry, and constant nagging feeling that he needed to do more, ate at him.

So, he would hover, usually a bit too much, but you knew the feeling well.

So, you let him help you, even if that meant him carrying you to the bathroom when you can walk perfectly fine.

It's cute, if not overbearing.

You would make fun of him and his "mothering" but he was just happy he could return the favor, though he would also chastise you for getting hurt, the same way you would do to him.

Evan discovered that he really enjoyed some of the more delicately intimate ways he could help you.

Brushing, washing or fixing up your hair if you couldn't reach it. Making you food and bringing it to you in bed.

Though the reason he was doing it came from something bad, he enjoyed the look on your face when he did these things for you.

It helped him to understand just why you insisted on helping him every time he got hurt as well.

If any of the others come by while you are hurt, he doesn't really let them help you in any way, he feels like it has to be him. If he doesn't do it, you wont get better.

He know's it doesn't make sense, but he doesn't it anyways.

You also learn what it's like to have someone worrying over you, and having to comfort their anxieties and remind them you are okay.

You both get to see and experience each side of taking care of your partner whether you want to or not.

You'd rather not have too, but it's a part of the job, and a part of your relationship.

xx

I know they aren't very long but I'm trying to come out of a serious case of writers block, so this is all I could get out. I hope you enjoy them anyways! And if you do please consider reblogging :)

General Taglist: @criminaly-supernatural, @imaginesfire, @rexit-mo, @onuen, @witchygagirl, @alexxavicry

“I desperately wanted to hate what I could see growing before my eyes, whilst I felt the sting of bitterness deepening within the depths of my soul.

Knowing I was being unintentionally pushed aside, I couldn’t bring myself to hate such tender love, pure and healing those festering wounds within you both. I knew there was no way forward. This was my out and I had to take it before those dreaded dark seeds blossomed. I could not be the one to tear down love as beautiful as yours.”

The sound of silence was almost deafening in how all-consuming it was, as you stood staring straight ahead. You had brought the axe down hard, cutting the conversation dead in its tracks. What else could be said after such a heart-breaking confession?

Your mouth was dryer than the Sahara desert as you waited for the oppressive atmosphere to pass.  You would have regretted the moment those words crossed your lips if they had been a falsehood, a lie to distract from the truth. However this was your reality, this was how you truly felt. You watched as Bobby’s hope deflated as he began to disappear into himself once more.

This cut deeper than anything else, as you witnessed his confidence and self-worth splinter into a million differently shaped pieces. This was not what you wanted but a by-product of your choices.

No matter how you phrased it, no carefully thought-through planned statement could have stopped the blunt force of agony that swiftly followed. It was a hard pill to swallow but you couldn’t skirt around what this was. This was the end of the road when hearts got broken, where feelings were pushed out of the way for the cold harsh light of day. This was a break-up, one that had been long coming. You had heard the deafening sirens in the distance but ignored them for as long as possible. You had truly wanted this to work, you had clung to the notion that they were it, your endgame. 

This was failure plain and simple, no matter how it was presented even neatly with a bow tied on top. This attempt at an unconventional relationship, a throuple had crashed and burnt in a way that you hadn’t given a second thought to. Yet here you were with an increasingly despondent Bobby. Athena had held steadfast to her Second Amendment rights, falling silent and staring anywhere else in the room to avoid your gaze.

You felt as if you had been caught with your hand in a cookie jar when you had been told no treats before dinner. At this moment, shame and guilt were the most prevalent emotions but shades of regret and the anguish of waking up alone tomorrow were starting to manifest, mixing in. The weight of this new dawn was unlike what you had experienced before. You had navigated through both messy and amicable breaks before but this felt on another level.

This would be a whole new scenario to manoeuvre through, the various twists and turns that encompassed the maze that you standing in with walls that stretched as far as the eye could see. Your reality had somewhat shifted, changing the illusionary location rapidly. In a blink of an eye, the interrogation room melted away. This was what your mind replaced it with. An inescapable maze of your own design, that you rushed through but constantly failed to find the correct path that would lead you out.

This was your anticipated worst-case scenario in one way yet things were not playing out as you initially imagined. It was a hell of a lot worse, than anything that your twisted mind would conjure up. You should feel relieved as the pressure on your chest was finally released as you spoke what had been lingering in the back of your mind. However, that dejected look in Athena’s eyes stung more than you ever thought it might as if that knife you used to cut the thread connecting you to them had been turned around and wrapped itself around your damaged heart.

It twisted left then right, damaging just enough with each turn to leave a permanent mark behind. A reminder whenever you found yourself alone with your thoughts. There it would be, a figurative wound, raw and never truly closing for all your days to come. A fractured heart, aching to be healed but the missing piece could never be reclaimed. This was the price too high that would be paid here and now. The piper was calling and this was your reply.

What else was there to be said? The ball was in their court, you just needed to be patient and wait to see what happened next. Bobby Nash, Fire Captain of Firehouse 118 stood off to one side contemplating how small his world had just become. In a few short minutes, his happy little world had frozen over as feelings of failure, inadequacy, confusion and grief overtook his peripheral vision. Sliding over him like the visor clicking down on his helmet. 

This felt like a step to the side, not a step backwards into the darkness. He wasn’t alone in his despair this time. He had a partner along for the ride, sharing the load as he felt Athena slide along before placing her hand into his. An act of comfort, this was what he needed. Tears would come but not quite yet. He had cried enough for more than one lifetime. Athena barely contained the sorrow as it quelled beneath her simmering fury. 

The storm had come and gone, brushed aside in the heat of the moment. A numbness soon followed, settling over the two of them as they took their first steps back into the world, their hearts bruised and cracked but holding firm. Knitting the threads that held them together tighter than before. This had tested them, pushing them to the edge, only to pull them back again. 

One where things hadn’t worked out when they tried taking a different path, by inviting one another in and opening up their cosy relationship. It had been one hell of a ride, where flames of passion smouldered. Ultimately the spark dimmed as that once fierce blaze cooled until three had disappeared right back to where it had been in the beginning, just the two of them. Where a couple stood on by, watching as their third left. 

Had the right person stumbled in at the wrong time? This bizarre thought dared to cross his mind. Maybe this was simply poor timing and ill-planning. He had nothing but time to run through all the questions, the what-ifs and the rabbit holes that it might lead him down. Athena would be there to set him straight when he’d evitable delve too far into the depths of his mind, becoming lost in the dark. She would be the light to emulate the path hidden from his sight.

This was both an end and a new beginning. It would be an uphill battle, only this time he would have someone else along for the journey. “This was never the plan when Athena and I opened up our relationship, to invite you in for a time and then to push you right back out into the cold” He started as he worked through his thoughts, trying to vocalize his rapidly shifting feelings. 

He was everything all at once. A perfect storm locked away in a glass flask but the fierce winds were steadily calming. Athena was another story together as she had remained tight-lipped. All her words were locked away in a vault, under lock and key. There was no doubt that she would make one hell of a poker player, as she masked through each time she bluffed about the cards in her hand. Winning round after round with ease. Burning holes in various pockets and wallets like a seasoned pro. This was different, this was her vanishing beneath her mask and simply walking away.

Storm Athena had vanished in a blink of an eye but was it for the better? That would be the question you would be battling with in the days to come. Overanalyzing all the little details of this moment, trying to find sense and logic in her actions. Trying to almost read what was happening within, to hear those precious few thoughts that indicated her next play, the steps that she would inevitably take.

Would things ever be amicable? You hoped that would be the case in time but that’s all you could do. Hope that the day would crest over the horizon sooner rather than later but you wouldn’t push. They deserved all the time in the world as the walls sheltering their little piece of paradise began to rebuild. As their battered and bruised hearts started on the next stage of their healing journey without you. This was how it needed to be. Athena, I know that you don’t want to talk to me. Hell, I don’t expect you to even respond or read this but please know that I never meant to hurt you or Bobby. I saw the door start to close and simply reacted. 

I should have tried harder to reach out, to be heard but we are long since past that. I don’t know if I’ll be back this way but please know that I did cherish the time that I was there, standing toe to toe with you and Bobby. I would never want to stand in the way, have that loving affection turn sour and embittered by the very experience of having a front-row seat to a show that slowly capsizing.  

You deserve better than this, you both do. The dear John letter was a stupid and careless idea that I never thought all the way through but please know that I will never freeze out the lines of communication if you ever think of me and want to reach out for that long overdue talk. I will say this one last thing, 

I did deeply care about the pair of you, you meant the world to me but this was not our time. This was not ours but it is yours and Bobby’s. I saw that secret smile whenever you locked eyes with him and vice versa. A love story in motion but I was grateful to have been a part of it. I wish you nothing but all the happiness in the world for all that is to come. 

Clicking send hadn’t been the hardest part, as you sat in the back row of the Grey Hound bus heading out of town. The hospital had arranged transport to the bus station then the rest had been up to you. Your one-way ticket was tucked firmly between the pages of the cheesy romance book you had picked up in the little shop at the hospital on your way out. Something to keep your mind preoccupied for the long hours ahead. 

You had let yourself chuckle softly when you had first pulled it out of your bag. You hadn’t even checked the title when choosing between the limited range and selection staring up from the shelves. there had been a grand total of three different books to choose from, you had split down the middle and just gone for door room two which had turned out to be the only romance-heavy option. It was truly karma in action, a borderline cruel reminder of what once had been yours. 

An epic love for ages, well it might have been if the fire hadn’t been blown out. You had been one to finish off those embers, never once giving them a chance to reignite. Now as you sat staring out of the window watching the world rush past. A sense of conflicted peace rolled over. This was a new beginning, a chapter closing as you started on a new adventure into pastures unknown.

Whether the grass was greener on the other side, you’d soon find out as the bus turned the corner and headed out onto the freeway. You had crossed the point of no return more than once in the last few hours. Or so it felt but there was no point in looking backwards, no matter how much it hurt to admit.

Silently you muttered a single word, finally cutting the tattered remains of the thread that held you in place.

Goodbye

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a rollercoaster of ups and downs in the years since you had last dared to step foot in Los Angeles. Both professionally and personally. You pushed any thoughts of those failed relationships and the dead-end jobs that landed at your feet when you had struggled to begin again. 

Home had found you when an unmissable job opportunity crossed your desk one fine day, three months back. It was almost impossible to stop your fingers from typing up and updating your resume. Before you had known it, you had completed the application and clicked the send button launching into the depths of the electronic superhighway that was the internet. Regret did not follow in its wake. You had anticipated some awkwardness resonating within you but nothing occurred.

You had expected nothing to come from it, it was a shot in the dark. Yes, you had the skills and the experience in a similar field but would that be enough? As you worked your socks off day in and day out, you had pretty much forgotten about that one particular job application sent three weeks prior. 

You had long since concluded that if you hadn’t heard by now then you were highly unlikely to hear anything at all. You pushed forward with the daily grind. Going to work and then back home. Rinse, lather and repeat. 

Until that one notification last thing on Friday night shook things up. An interview came and went before a second dropped in and then a third soon followed after. Before long an offer of another job, a chance to spread your wings and take flight back to the City of Angels manifested. All that you needed to do was simply say yes, well that and find a place to set up shop. Apartment hunting pre-pandemic was hard enough but this was a whole new ball game. Virtual viewings were the done thing in the post-pandemic world.

Viewing a possible home through the screen of any available device, a tour at your fingertips allowed you to go from room to room as you tried to ascertain whether this one, the third tour of the day was the one. Whether it met all your basic requirements. Was it too far from your base of operations? Was it located in a reasonable neighbourhood? Were there good transportation links into the city itself?

Question after question arose as you continued to scroll into the next room. This seemed a lot harder than all the times before when you had needed to go apartment hunting. It was turning into a headache, they all could easily be made to look rather bigger with the click of a well-positioned camera lens. 

As text came through lighting up your phone screen, you paused the video for a moment. The name displayed above the message knocked you for six. You hesitated opening it, for it could easily go one or two ways. At this moment in time, you were solely existing in Schrödinger's cat type of scenario.

It could both be a harmless conversation starter, cracking open what once had been slammed shut or yet it could be something that held steadfast to the notion of flogging a dead horse. Or it be both at the same time but until you dared to look inside that box, you wouldn’t know. Without a second more to mull it over, you clicked upon it. You held your breath as the message revealed itself to your increasingly growing anxiety that bubbled within.

After all this time, Athena responded and replied to the mammoth message you sent way back when. Your olive branch to do right by her, to have the chance to sit down and talk like adults. To see if it was truly possible to let sleeping dogs lie and move forward as friends. You hated the idea of completely burning that bridge and cutting her and Bobby out of your life because of the mistakes that had been made. There had been the building blocks for a stable foundation which you have decided had been breaking apart at the seams.

In the time since then, you had searched through every avenue of what had been. Through rose-tinted glasses, you had viewed the long hours, the lapses in replies and the never-ending chain of cancellations and rearranged dates in haste. They were a part of the daily ups and downs when dating two first responders. You had acted with the emotional range of a moody teenager. You hadn’t taken the time to consider what it meant for them, who you were at the end of the day.

You were meant to be their safe harbour, away from the multiple emergencies that lingered on the other side of that door. When it closed, you could have their light in the dark leading through the long nights. Instead of being the salve to heal their wounds, you had ripped them wide out, tearing out their hearts, watching as they bled at your feet when you had penned that letter without even giving either of them a second thought.

It had all been about you. You had changed and grown as a person since then learning more about how to navigate a relationship. The many twists and turns that came and went day in and day out and learning from your past indiscretion. When it came to communication, it truly did lay at the heart of every relationship. Looking back, it hadn’t been your finest hour, the last time you were even in the state. You had run away, with your tail tucked firmly between your legs. Across several state lines until you found yourself darkening your brother’s door. He had been expecting you. 

Only a few weeks later than initially planned. You had kept him updated from your hospital bed, your ear red raw from his worried rants, stuck on repeat like a broken record. Each time you called, he softened his tone and inclination and by the time you arrived. The once bare-to-the-bone wire-like threads that had once connected you had begun to heal, deepened as that proud man opened his heart and mind to welcome home the sibling that had been pushed away. It had been a challenging climb but he had been by your side, walking in tandem.  He had grown as a man, a brother and a human being. 

One relationship had flourished, whilst another faded away. However this message, oh how it made your heart skip a beat. Anxious laden but still hope began to flutter its paper-thin wings as it flicked back to life.

I will not deny that your actions hurt, not only me but Bobby too. It has taken me years to come to terms with how things went down. I’m ready to talk, understand and move forward then we can go from there. 

It had been frank and straight to the point like the woman behind those words but it was a chance. One that you won’t waste this go around. It was hard not to smile, to fight back those feelings that you long since buried. Soon enough those dreaded butterflies would take up residence within your stomach but you won’t let them consume you. This was a fresh start, not a blank slate. 

Athena, thank you for this. Let me know when you are free to speak. I am ready to answer all the questions you have. I’m sure that there are plenty, I will be nothing short of completely honest with you

You watched the screen, waiting for those two little ticks to appear. The sign that the message had been delivered then you’d have to kill time until the colour changed from grey to blue showing that Athena had read your message. You placed your phone down as you couldn’t be glued to that device like a lovesick fool. The ball was now in her court now. 

When the message arrived, it was simple. A date and time staring up at you. A question then arose in the back of your mind, who would be the one to initiate the phone call in question? However, before you could even type out a response, another message appeared. She would be the one to call you. It felt damn near bizarre finding yourself in a situation such as this. However, you’d pushed on through, if it meant salvaging a relationship from the burnt-out wreckage. Even if it would be nothing but wholly platonic in the long run.

As you typed out a quick reply, you smiled softly feeling happier than you had in months, as a renewed sense of peace washed over you as you made your way out of the room. A list as long as your arm began to form in your mind of all the possible questions that might soon be coming your way. 

“It’s a start. It's the best that I could have hoped for” You softly repeat like a mantra as you consider the next steps. Whatever they might be. The bounce in your step would come in time but still, each stride no longer felt like you were walking in treacle. Weighed down by the guilt that you had long since carried upon your shoulders. 

Peace was just the beginning if things truly went well. This was only the first of hopefully many steps upon this new trail off the beaten path. 

New memories were to be made, once you had truly arrived but you knew that shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. One foot in front of the other, never pushing forward unless the opportunity presented itself. You finally could let go of that aching sense of guilt that hung deftly around your neck. The hangman’s noose tightened of its own accord through the day, worsening when you were lying alone at night, clock-watching until sleep overtook you. 

Pushing away the persistent thought of what if, what if you could go back and change the order that events had played out. You simply couldn’t but it was in the past, finally buried when Athena knew the reasoning behind your actions. The why, the how and the emotions that drove your hand when drawing the next card from the deck of life. 

When you drew the next one, it would be the one that changed your tomorrow. There'd be a bright light that you’d lovingly strive to keep joyfully humming in all the days that were to come. Through the many ups and downs as you rode through the hard and trying times, through the days when the sun shone brightest as if it was only illuminated for you and the ones you loved.

The hours seemed to rush past waiting for the sun to slip beneath the horizon. As day seamlessly melted away, the night took hold. You stood silent as a mouse, staring out at the night sky smiling to yourself as innocent enough thoughts overtook as you pictured a new dawn. This was only the beginning, to gain Athena’s forgiveness, trust and friendship was a road that needed to be walked. A journey that you had started, crossing the threshold when you had held out an olive branch.

You had gained ground but that conversation was all that mattered. You wanted to make good on your promise. Tomorrow was now more than just another day, one to toil through the hours until it was time to head home. Athena then maybe one day you could bring yourself to face Bobby.

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.”

“You won’t be.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Stepping in, you take in the house. You had been by Isabel’s once or twice before but you had never come inside the house. The walls were painted a warm yellow colour, the furniture was spotless as was the rest of the house. Isabel sat on the couch with Chris beside her as he told her about his day at school.

“Chris, did you wash your hands?” Eddie calls, the door shutting. Chris doesn't answer which is an answer in itself. “Go now, please.” Eddie’s voice sounds closer, glancing behind you to see him beside you.

Chris grumbles but gets up, Isabel turns her attention to you and Eddie. “How are you feeling ?”

“As well as someone can with a broken hip” she gives you a smile.

“I’m glad you’re okay, you gave Eddie a scare” giving him a playful shove. “We got ice cream, vanilla and toffee. Chris said toffee was your favourite” handing her the small container. “It is, thank you. That’s so sweet of you.” she smiles, pulling the top off.

“No need to thank me, it was Christopher’s idea.”

“Ah, well I'll thank him when he comes back out.” she says smiling, “Eddie, a spoon please ?” she glances at the man beside you. He hums, stepping away for a moment to get her a spoon.

Chris comes running back in after washing his hands. “Dad! Can we stay over? Abuela said it was okay” he’s beside his father now, looking up at him with his big brown eyes that were practically begging him to let him.

You, Eddie and Isabel all knew that Christopher had his father wrapped around his finger and would ultimately get his way but Eddie had to give him a fatherly response and say no, they should go home. Isabel doesn't usually butt in but this time she did.

“Mijo, stay. I could use the company.” She says, patting the spot beside her and Chris makes his way over to sit beside her.

Eddie sighs, if he had a soft spot, it was for the two people on the couch. “Fine, just tonight then.”

Isabel smiles, satisfied with his answer. “y/n, stay for dinner darling. Eddie’s cooking” “Yea- who said I was cooking?” Eddie butts in, shocked at the assumption. “I did, mijo. Don’t worry, I'll tell you what to do.”

“Buddy, why don’t you finish up your homework so you can relax for the rest of the night ?” Eddie calls out to Chris, who again groans. He loved school but despised homework - as did most kids.

“I have math, I need help so I can’t do it because you’re busy.” Chris says plainly, thinking his statement will get him out of his math work because Eddie can’t do math for shit.

“I can help.”

“Y/n, you don't have to-” “no, it’s fine. C’mon kiddo” Chris grumbles, making his way to the dining room table, the two of you taking a seat when Eddie helps Isabel up and to the kitchen.

You can hear them talking and her telling Eddie to cut things a certain way or not to put too much of something into the pot. It only took 20 minutes for Christopher to finish his math homework, he brought it into the kitchen to show his dad.

“Look! I’m done! Math’s easy when you understand it.” that last bit was a little dig at Eddie and his math skills. You ruffled Chris’s hair as he walked back into the living room.

“Did he just-” Eddie watches his son make his way to the couch.

You hold back a laugh,“Mhm hm” Eddie shakes his head, chuckling. “Here, taste this.” he picks up some sauce from the pot, holding the spoon over his hand before handing it to Isabel.

Her face twists when she tastes it, “Eddie, I love you honey, but that’s terrible.” you press your lips together, holding back a chuckle.

“What?” he pouts, sighing. “I swear it tasted fine ten minutes ago.” sitting beside Isabel in defeat.

You pick up another spoon and taste some for yourself, your expression matching Isabel’s from moments ago. Eddie had remembered to put everything in, except the paprika and the salt, you add a bit of both and stir the pot. Taking the spoon from Eddie, you pick up a bit of the sauce and hand it back to Isabel.

“Ah, that’s better.” she hums, making you smile as she hands you back the spoon. Eddie sighs, letting you know that he was still there.

"Why don’t you go see if Christopher wants to watch something or if he wants a snack ?” his grandmother nudged him, a signal for him to leave the kitchen. “y/n can take over for you”

“Abuela, you can’t invite them in and have them work for their dinner.” he says, making her laugh.

“It’s okay Eds,” waving him off. “I don’t mind, really.”

Eddie left the kitchen and made his way over to the couch, listening as Chris told him about his day. He glanced back to see if everything was alright but he noticed that the two of you were laughing as you told Isabel something. Eddie would be lying if his heart didn’t skip a beat.

He stopped seeking his parents’ approval of who he dated- for a matter of fact, it went out the window when he brought Shannon home the first time but seeing you with an abuela made him so warm and happy, he couldn't help but smile.

---

Eddie’s hand slipped onto your hip, his chest against your back. “Can I help you, Eddie?” you mumble, your eyes on the dishes in front of you.

He hums, hands coming around and arms now wrapped around your waist. Eddie felt your wet hands pull his hands off of you, “Isabel and Chris are in the other room, stop it”

His head tilted, that innocent look on his face, “stop what?”

“Eddie,” turning to face him, “shh I don’t want to hear it” he cuts you off, hands back on your waist.

“I don’t think I've ever loved someone the way I love you.” His words come off so sweet and loving but hit you like a ton of bricks.

You loved Eddie, more than anything but you had never actually told him nor did you ever feel the need too. It was always implied that as friends, you loved and cared about each other.

Eddie always knew he loved you, there was never any question about that but something about you, seeing you with an abuela and how great you were with Christopher (as you always were) just pushed him over the edge.

He had to tell you.

“Y/n, you know I love you- and before you say anything, I know I’ve never actually said it to you but I didn’t feel like I had too, you knew I did.”

“I know.”

“Yeah.”

You were still gathering your thoughts, trying to come up with the words to tell him you loved him too but Eddie’s expression changed. His brows furrowed, eyes studying your face - the worry had set in.

What if you didn’t feel the same way ? God, he’d feel so stupid if he embarrassed himself like that.

The years of friendship were enough for you to realize how he was feeling. You were lacking words and you know what they say, actions speak louder than words.

Your hands reach for his face, now cupping his cheeks. Your lips meet his, he pulls you closer to him- if that's even possible. It was a few moments before you pulled away.

Eddie smiles lovingly at you and you’re sure you have the same expression plastered on your face. “Um- I think that says it.” you hum, smiling at him.

“Doesn't mean you can't say it,” he pokes fun at you, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Eddie?”

“Y/n,”

“I love you.”

----