#911onfox

they loved each other more than anything on the earth a few years ago. they spent every possible moment together, planning their entire futures step by step. breaking up was never a part of their plans.

when y/n got pregnant, buck was genuinely thrilled. he adored kids, he had a steady job, and it was with the woman he was so deeply in love with. her pregnancy was a blessing to both of them, and their little girl was only born into the world of chaos between buck and y/n.

y/n loved buck, but she always said she loved him too much. every time her phone rang, her heart dropped to her stomach anticipating someone telling her buck was dead, or at least near it. whenever he complained about something hurting, she worried about it more than he did. as buck advanced in his job, everything only became more difficult.

y/n lived her life in fear, and buck was the center of her world. she rarely saw him between her work schedule and his, and it started to feel like their daughter was just a contract between them. they’d go to the ends of the earth for their baby girl, but y/n knew that she needed more than what buck and y/n would have given them if they stayed together.

buck would be lying if he said he wasn’t devastated when they broke up. in the back of his mind, he secretly is glad that they never got married. he would have never brought himself to sign papers that make him legally lose y/n.

buck taught himself to understand and cope with why y/n broke up with him. he learned the best for his daughter, and accepted anything that was best for y/n. he loved her so much that he would stay out of her way in anything. he just never thought he’d have to.

y/n moved to an apartment in LA, and buck returned back to his previous. he had his baby girl with him some weeks, but it was nothing like the family he was trying so hard to build.

when the inevitable time came for y/n to pick their daughter up for the week, she insisted it be at the fire station. if it was at his apartment, y/n knows she’d never leave.

another monday swung around, and y/n stayed in the back parking lot waiting for buck to arrive. they always met before his shift started, so they’d all have plenty of time. buck stepped out of the car, parking besides y/n’s.

she started walking up to the car, in this beautiful, summery dress with blue flowers on it. it haltered at the top and flowed down her sides perfectly as she walked towards the car. buck internally slapped himself for admiring her to this day. he remembers when she’d dress like that for him.

“hey,” y/n says, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head, ripping buck out of his daydream.

“hey,” buck repeats, walking around the front of his car.

“how was your week?” y/n asks.

“not bad, pretty chill. we hung out with maddie and jee on some days. soccer went well, too, but those moms are brutal.”

“they just want to bone you,” y/n laughs, leaning against the car and sticking her head in the open window. “hi, baby! i missed you!”

“i missed you, mama,” their daughter mumbles in her car seat, still nibbling at the breakfast buck bought her.

“starbucks?” y/n asks, a little irked.

“we ran a little late this morning and daddy ran out of coffee,” buck says, tilting his head towards his little girl.

“well, i hope dad didn’t get you a cake pop for breakfast every day,” y/n says through a gritted smile, and buck just playfully shrugs.

“we had sugar straight from the bag on sunday morning.”

y/n playfully rolls her eyes, opening the car door. she unbuckles her daughter, and holds her in her arms. “well, why the nice dress, going on a date?”

“you wish, evan,” y/n replies.

“yeah, with me,” he smirks, his hand pressed against his car as he leans into his arm. y/n stares down his muscly bicep and the tattoos that peeked out from the sleeve of his LAFD tee.

“mhm,” y/n nods, opening her car door and sliding her daughter into the next car seat.

“i think i remember that dress,” buck starts. “when i took you on the pier for one of our first dates. i loved that dress.”

“stop it, buck.”

“stop what?”

“you know what.”

he knew exactly what. he craved y/n to be his again every day. when she meets up with maddie, buck makes maddie talk to her about dating a firefighter, and their jobs, and to try and pry y/n open about what makes them so terrible together.

it makes him so angry when he thinks about himself. if he’s not good enough for y/n, who is he good enough for?

if y/n heard him saying he wasn’t good enough, it would crush her. buck was everything to her. buck gave her everything she could’ve asked for, and no one else was going to give it to her. she wouldn’t get over buck for the rest of her life. it was no one, but him. and for buck, it was no one, but her.

they both knew it, but neither would say anything, terrified of breaking the other again.

y/n didn’t just lose buck, she lost her family. buck integrated her with the 118 without her even having to work there. maddie became one of her closest friends, and he would do anything to share his life with her again.

the rest of the 118 arrived in the parking lot, and they have their own routine for trade-off days as well; sit in the parking lot with their windows cracked, and pretend to be on the phone.

listening to buck and y/n talk to each other was the most frustrating thing. the whole 118 remembers buck 1.0 instantly changing when he met y/n. he fell in love and he wore it on himself every day. they had never seen him happier than when y/n was next to him.

in the locker room, when buck was upstairs, they all had their debriefs.

“so, why exactly are they not together?” ravi asks.

“it’s complicated, ravi,” hen asks.

“to put it simply, they’re terrified of each other,” chimney adds.

“uh, they seemed fine out there.”

“nah, kid, they haven’t been fine since the day y/n called it quits. you weren’t here for buck’s pre-y/n self.”

“but it’s so obvious that they’re in love with each other!” ravi throws his hands up in pure confusion.