#9 1 1

"they're not gay" I don't know man, I read a masterfully written fanfic on A03 that says otherwise.

a fanfic where buddie are on a roadtrip and get lowkey hatecrimed after arguing like a married couple and then they are run off the road and crash and eddie wakes up alone in hospital and is again lowkey hatecrimed by the local sheriff who accuses him of spousal murder and then eddie proceeds to escape hospital and ride on a horse and hold someone at gunpoint screaming for buck and oh no wait it's an actual episode of 911 that they wrote and filmed and edited and released

He's a demiromantic bisexual. Girls give him panic attacks. He's a demisexual kinsey 6 and he's never kissed a boy. He's a straight single dad coparenting with his best friend. He had two affairs with his own late wife, once before and once after her death. She didn't divorce him in time. He's an athiest agnostic catholic and he thinks his priest is hitting on him. He loved ballroom dance before he hated it. Before his parents loved it too much. He's schrodinger's queer and he won't drink the juice. Get him out of my vents.