#32weeksmixtape

Very few will ever know what I felt at this moment, what I was going through, the stress, the growth, and expression of creativity with images and words.

Full song/video: Week 16 | My Life Remix

Week 18 | "Neck & Wrist Don't Lie" | remix | Cato of B.L.A.M.E SOCIETY for #32weeksMixtape

This track was a fun one. Playing with my cadence, wordplay, and flow was the best part of doing this project. Neck & Wrist remix is the perfect display of my emcee capabilities when writing and performing a song.

For those keen on lyrics, I am once again transmitting and communicating my goals and intentions.

"When the smoke clears lifting fog, I'll be standing with the squad..." #BLAMESOCIETY

This #remix of #JoynerLucas & #Timbaland is dedicated to all #Parents ...it reflects some if the difficulties of raising young children while simultaneously showing affection and awe for my own young ones.

Be sure to watch the full video on the #Blamesociety #YouTube channel ❤️‍🩹

On 2/28/24, I had the opportunity to perform a poem, we will call "Mustard Seed" which is actually a verse from my project #32weeksmixtape at the elementary school I work at as part of the Black History Program.

Full recording of the live performance:

How/Why did I choose/chose to use the songs I did

*Full breakdown, was updated in real time (weekly) so you go through the process/journey with me!*

32. Day Dreaming x NxWorries (Anderson .Paak + Knxwledge)

Man, first off, thank you for those of you who are truly seeking out all the aspects of this project. I don't know how long the internet will last, but for those seeing this 5, 10, 15....(or even 30!?) years into the future, thank you! If my wife or my children are seeing this, I love you and appreciate you for putting up with my madness during this period. See, 32weeks was all about pushing myself to my creative limits. I took a simple concept and turned into an artform. Think about it, right now, TikTok is bursting with the green screen idea: reacting to a video, or sharing controversial info, or wholesome content, with the person in front of/on the side of/stitched in, etc and the green screen is an element blending the two visuals together. Mixtapes have been around for well, probably since the conception of Hip hop. I took both entities and came out with this. A visual mixtape, set up as a presentation, with 32 tracks, released on a weekly basis...and staying on schedule. HAHAAHAHAHA!!! That is bizarre! I was able to (almost) share how these images appear in my mind, and how I relate them to the music. I used all true stories from my life. Pieces of my childhood and adulthood that I have never really shared with others...like real talk, #20, that was something I never knew I would ever be able to talk about. And as you know, this portion of the 32weeks era is over, but there still more writing to do.

Ok, so I came across this instrumental after writing, I think the 29th(possibly) verse. I heard it and knew this would be number 32. NxWorries is the collaboration of Anderson .Paak and Knxwledge. Their "Yes Lawd!" album is soooo fire. Like real talk, I knew Anderson .Paak has some dope instrumentals. Oxnard, Malibu, Ventura, are filled with wonderful productions. Knxwledge's beats just hit different. Like, Suede, or Lyk Dis, or Livvin, or omg....H.A.N.(if you are unfamiliar...go hear that right now lol). These instrumentals have that smooth old school but modern feel. But then, Daydreaming drops. 💥Like I said, I knew this was the one. I needed to find the instrumental immediately. All I kept hearing was 🎶32 weeks...🎶This verse pretty much wrote itself. It's literally the closer. I wanted listeners to feel that excitement, the raw feeling, of a burden being lifted. We know the feeling of saying you are going to do something, and then actually following through. During the live period of 32 weeks, whenever it all felt overwhelming, I would play this song as a reminder that it is going to feel amazing to finish this. That gave me more fuel to continue on.

As a songwriter, I learned in this process that I can truly write a song about anything. Overall, I can take a feeling and put it in sound for a listener to digest. I faced the fear of my art not being good enough. I faced the fear that I may have to do somethings, hard things, on my own. I faced the fear that I will overlooked, and ignored. I faced the fear that I was no longer relative to my community (in regards to making music that matters). I faced the fear that I can't learn skills. I faced the fear of showing more darker sides of myself in my lyrics. I faced the fear of opening up to my listeners. I faced the fear of acknowledging death (still uncomfortable, but less anxiety). I faced the fear of my endurance, that I wouldn't be able to actually complete a feat a large as this. I faced the fear of comparison...that the real competition is with myself. I had to learn that I can't watch what other artists are doing and judge them or myself. That practice is dangerous to my mental wellbeing. I killed that distorted thought(and I continue to battle that distorted thought) with these truths:

1. The internet(specifically social media) can make anyone seem like they are super successful, happy, and etc. 2. Everyone's path is different and is autonomous to each individual 3. I work a full time job and found joy in creating and just want to share it with others 4. "It just doesn't matter", straight from Mac Miller's Faces/Bill Murray's monologue from "MeatBalls". I learned that whether something good or bad comes from this project, whether people hear my music or not, whether I live or die, Whether I change the world or not, it just doesn't matter. Once I remember those ideas, I kill the intrusive enemy of most humans - comparison.

Again, I appreciate you spending this time with me. I hope you enjoyed the experience. I encourage you to share the mixtape/blog/videos with people you think would love this. Or with the people that the songs remind you of. I am honored and grateful that you chose to experience this with me.💙💙💙

33. Cross The Globe x Lil Durk ft. Juice Wrld

I'm not sure what exactly to add to this post....let's start with the instrumental. As aforementioned in the blog post for week 23: Stand By Me x Lil Durkft. Morgan Wallen I go into my first encounters of Lil Durk and his Album "Almost Healed". I state in the post that I would tell you more about my feelings about "Cross The Globe". First off I want to say R.I.P. to Juice Wrld. I was never a huge fan, but....dude slaughtered a track on the "Into The Spider-Verse" Soundtrack. I love most of the songs on the soundtrack but Juice Wrld and Seezyn's "Hide" is f*cking catchy and has high replay value. Also, they play this song in the movie at a very vulnerable moment. Miles feels discouraged and with the song in the background.... just gives me the chills. I learned pretty quickly that Juice Wrld is really good with creating those singy/catchy hooks because he definitely killed it on Cross The Globe. So when I came across this song during my re-listening to the album, that beat swooped me up. I think, that was when I knew that this song would be the one I explain myself and the reason for the mixtape. This is also around the time I knew that there would be 33 verses instead of 32. I have mentioned Dante Alighieri's "Dante's Inferno"/The Divine Comedy throughout the project. During the writing the phase I had just picked up the inferno, or was wrapping up the inferno. Trying to incorporate some of wonderful messaging that I received. The Podcast, "Dante's Divine Comedy" by Mark Vernon was/is a major asset to understanding what the hell (hell...hahaha, get it?) you're reading. Also, I was 32 years of age approaching 33, add in the literature references and you have a few metaphors/entendres. I was very inspired by Alighieri with the whole "Cantos" ideas as chapters and seeing that each verse is a chapter of my life, whether past, present or future. I think the first lines I wrote were:

"documenting life just a novel, it is written/approaching chapter 33, 33 degrees. That's a third of the perfect work, Divine Comedy. Watch the Divine work through me..."

I really wanted to highlight the fact that this project contained a lot of honesty, alot of vulnerable moments, and shame. There are many situations that I had locked in my pen, due to fear of the judgement. As an adult I was able to knock down that barrier. I know how much I have worked on myself over the years. I know that I made a lot of mistakes, and being able to share them with others will ultimately release that shame/guilt possibly helping the listener. I struggled for years wondering what to write (due to what I just stated). I don't want to be the cheesy holier than thou emcee, I don't live street life, I don't have money to ball, and I am happily married and have two kids. Limiting myself in this way really slowed my mode of creativity. I am so grateful that I finally got to the point that I can just express my cringy past, talk about the work I do on myself, and find joy in my craft! I don't know what else to say so I am going to hop off of here. If you are reading this I want to say thank you! I appreciate your time, and attention. I hope something I say/write intrigues you, motivates you, or moves you. If no one has told you today that they love you, just know that I do, and I always will.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Weeks 1-8

Weeks 9-16

Weeks 17-24

Weeks 25- 31

Brooo, yes. I am someone, I listen to myself. I had found through the years that so often my own creations lift me up when I need em most, or remind me of how bad/hard life was, or how possible it is to overcome obstacles because I expressed past issues on wax. That will never change. Actually, I'm at point where I feel I have mastered that aspect of honesty and vulnerability in my music.

For proof, check out #32weeksMixtape and it will all make sense.

**and subscribe**

"Week 17 | Don't Let Devil | remix" #KillerMike

This one was a huge favorite for me. I enjoyed the metaphors and overall energy of the flow I was able spit over this beat.

I don't talk about selling narcotics fr in my music (in a glorifiable way), however I do compare my music to dope from time to time. From the syringe to the #Pimp-C line, this was my favorite "dope" lyrics i have written. Have you heard the full #32weeksMixtape yet?

2nd most anxiety inducing track from the #32weeksmixtape project.

Snippet:

Full video: