#{anxiety attack}

Synopsis: Reader has an anxiety attack. Jack comes to your aid without hesitation.

Warnings: anxiety attack. Established romantic relationship.

Author’s Extra Introspections: After reading multiple articles and other research, I’m understanding the difference between a panic attack versus an anxiety attack. I dealt with my only anxiety attack with people I wasn’t close with and I guess I wrote this because this feels like the thing that would have helped me the most. You are so loved, reader. Stay alive |-/

Jack knew of your anxiety. He knew what you’d told him: the overthinking, the constant planning ahead for the worst, the anticipation of everything going wrong, the emotions that ruled your sternum and controlled your breathing, and how you coped. Well, you were less clear on how you coped, but Jack knew you were visiting a therapist and he had learned quickly that there were times he needed to encourage you and other times he needed to drag you into the door. In any case, Jack knew it was something you lived with.

Being said, Jack hadn’t been around for any of your anxiety attacks. In your nine months of dating, Jack had never guided you through that sea of emotion. But when you had a panic attack for the first time, Jack was thankfully off work to hear your shocked gasps of breath when it happened. In the aftermath of that, you’d looked at him with a fake nonchalant expression on your face as you tried to say “if it— if I’m too much— I’m sorry” to which Jack shut you up by physically placing his palm over your mouth and pulling your shoulder into his chest. “If it happens again, I want to be the first one you call. Because you love me and I can help you and I, quite frankly, very selfishly want to know that you know I am someone you find safety in. You’re never too much. Never. And I never want to make you feel that way.”

Your poor facade of carelessness crumbled as you dissolved into choked sobs: this time tears of contentment instead of suffering.

if your chest feels tight, if your thoughts are spiraling, if everything feels a little unreal or too intense right now: this is for you.

nothing is wrong with you.

your body is reacting like you are in danger, even if you are not. it’s sending out alarms, flooding you with adrenaline, trying to protect you. it’s just… a little confused right now.

and i know it feels scary. i know it feels like something is very, very wrong.

but this feeling as overwhelming as it is, cannot hurt you.

you don’t have to stop it.

you don’t have to control it.

you don’t have to “win” against it.

just let it be there, as uncomfortable as it is.

try to soften one small thing.

maybe unclench your jaw a little.

maybe drop your shoulders half an inch.

maybe take one slow breath, and then another.

that’s enough.

you don’t need to fix everything right now. you don’t need to figure anything out. this is not the moment for answers or decisions or clarity.

this is just a moment to exist through.

your thoughts might be loud. they might be telling you something is wrong, or that this won’t end, or that you can’t handle it.

you don’t have to believe them.

thoughts during panic are not facts, they are just noise your brain is making while everything is heightened.

let them pass. you don’t have to chase them or argue with them.

your body is doing something temporary.

even if it doesn’t feel like it, there is a limit to how long your system can stay in this state. it will slow down. your heart will settle. your breathing will ease.

it always does.

you have made it through every wave like this before, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.

you can get through this one too.

right now, focus on the smallest things.

the feeling of your clothes on your skin.

the ground under your feet.

the air moving in and out of your lungs.

you are here.

you are safe enough in this moment.

nothing is chasing you. nothing is about to collapse. nothing urgent needs to be solved right now.

you are allowed to pause.

you are allowed to take this one second at a time.

and if all you can do is sit with it and breathe and wait for it to pass, that is more than enough.

you are not weak for feeling this.

you are not broken for experiencing this.

you are a person with a nervous system that got overwhelmed and that happens.

be gentle with yourself right now.

imagine wrapping yourself in something warm. imagine being somewhere quiet, with no expectations, no pressure, no need to be anything other than exactly how you are.

you don’t have to be okay yet.

just stay.

stay through this minute.

then the next.

that never was it known

that anyone who fled to thy protection,

implored thy help,

or sought thy intercession,

was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence

I fly unto thee,

O Virgin of virgins, my Mother.

To thee do I come,

before thee I stand,

sinful and sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate,

despise not my petitions,

but in thy mercy hear and answer me.

Amen.

school shouldn't be your only purpose.

i firmly believe that education is one of the most valuable things a person can gain in their lifetime, and in today's world, we too easily forget that access to education, especially at a university level, is a privilege.

this isn't about being ungrateful. it's about recognizing that many academic systems are flawed. rather than focusing on learning, they prioritize performance. a simple (but telling) example is that research shows that making mistakes is one of the fastest ways to learn, yet academic systems penalize mistakes and frame them as failure. this pushes many students toward performance anxiety, panic attacks, and an overall unhealthy relationship with school.

we can't dismantle the system, but we can change the way we relate to it.

build a life outside of studying. especially through hobbies that involve creating something, not just passively consuming – painting, pottery, making music, dancing. anything that helps you to a) step away from academic stress, b) feel productive in an enjoyable way, and c) produce something tangible you can look at, reflect on, and gradually improve.

school-related anxiety often comes from one place. you've learned to measure your worth by your academic performance. "i got a good grade → i'm capable → i deserve respect and love. i failed a test → i'm not good enough → i've let everyone down." it's rarely that black and white, but that's the underlying logic many of us internalize. when you fill your life with more things, you naturally reduce the weight any single one of them carries, school included. the pressure eases, almost on its own.

keep it simple. these should be things you genuinely enjoy, not new obligations. the point is to build a life that feels full and meaningful beyond grades and deadlines. when school is the only thing in your life, every exam feels like everything. when your life is rich and varied, you start measuring your value by how satisfied you feel, not by what grade you got.

when i was in high school, i only studied. i was a straight-a student who was miserable and used to puke from anxiety before school. now i'm in university, i go to the gym, i'm learning three languages, and i'm taking a graphic design course. and somehow? i'm getting top marks in all my exams, and i'm so much more at peace than i was at 17.