If I was a tree, I would use my mycelium network to spread lies for clout

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

when your big brother goes on a trip and brings you back a souvenir. and the souvenir is the severed toe of the man who betrayed you both because he killed him first

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

And still, I search.

did you just touch all over my blog with your yucky heart..?

i mean beautiful heart