Systematic Advice

Anti-Endo-Agony-Auncles is now Systematic-Advice!

Welcome to the blog. What started as an ambitious project to help Systems with anything and everything possible has scaled back slightly. We now specialize in listening to rants, advice for life events and relationship issues relating to Systems and their struggles and affirmation for those who need it. Navigating life as a System is hard and sometimes you need the advice of an adult who has been there. At 31, we have lived through many of the issues you might currently be facing. We hope you enjoy the content here and that you find it helpful.

➻ What We Do Here ⤵

Our aim is to provide a space for Systems to express themselves, ask questions and gain confidence. We’re looking to make a little corner of the internet where Systems feel safe and validated. We want to help people get through life. We’re also here to learn ourselves! We’re always growing and always trying to understand ourselves and the world around us more. If you spot something we’re misinformed on, please bring it to us! As long as you have evidence to back it up, we’re willing to examine it.

➻ What We Accept ⤵

◢ Rants/ Vents ~ We take rants and vents by Systems both privately and for display. We ask that if you intend it to just be ours to read that you specify that when sending it. We only accept rants through Submissions and Asks at this time. Do not DM us these things.

◢ Questions about being a System ~ We are in our thirties and have been living with DIDOSDD since we were toddlers. We have the unique experience and perspective of having lived this life longer than a lot of the people in this community have been alive or on the internet at least. We are willing to give what advice we can on situations you might encounter living life with this disorder. We are also out as a System for the most part, so you’re welcomed to ask about that as well.

◢ Questions about S4S Relationships ~ We have been in a System4 System relationship for over 14 years which gives us some good insight when it comes to having a relationship both as and with a System. We accept all questions related to this topic.

◢ Correcting Misinformation ~ We are always happy to learn. If you see something we post that seems off, please feel free to approach us respectfully and fill us in. We don't bite, we just sometimes feel a bit dumb for a while.

➻ All Alters Welcome ⤵

We accept interactions from Systems with Alters from 'any' source. Problematic sources, popular sources, obscure sources, fictjet, factjet and anyone who doesn't know where they fall. We understand that you are not your source and even if your related to that source, that still is not your choice. If you need to vent about your problematic sources that's absolutely fine too. We ask that you behave respectfully here, especially when interacting with our followers. As long as that boundary is respected you're welcome here.

Note: This blog began as a Rant and Syscourse Blog. Harry Potter Fans and Fictjets may see some anti-HP related posts, some of which are not kindly worded. You are still welcome here under this rule. We do not believe in continued interaction with the HP series, but we do understand that Alter's can't just change. We will respect you. This covers Five Nights as well.

➻ Boundaries (What We DON’T Accept!) ⤵

◢ Asks/ Message Times ~ Please do not pressure us to reply to your asks or your messages. This is a blog we run in our spare time which can be sparse. We will always do our best to answer as soon as possible, but we sometimes lack the energy. Remember, if we burn out we won’t be able to answer anything! It is however okay to check in and make sure we got it in the first place!

◢ Syscourse Related Messages ~ We no longer accept ANY Syscourse related Asks or Submissions. We are happy to provide advice, but we no longer care which side of the argument you are on. Please do your best to avoid bringing your System type into our asks. We will be transparent and say we still consider ourselves ‘anti-endo’ to a point, but we’re no longer involved in the debate to the best of our abilities. We are aware we cannot completely avoid it, but we do not want it to be a focus here.

◢ DO NOT ATTACK OUR FOLLOWERS - If you have rage to direct at someone, direct it at me. We designed this blog to be a safe place, so please keep those following it out of any discourse.

◢ Spelling/ Typos: The System suffers from Dyslexia and cognitive issues. This means our hands don't always hit the right keys and our brain doesn't always catch it. We spell phonetically very often so we might not catch that either. If you want to point out a spelling mistake or typo, please do so respectfully. We edit posts to fix typos/ spelling mistakes.

◢ Kins - This is a topic the blog avoids discussing. While much of the kinning community makes us uncomfortable, those who participate in them are allowed to interact. We simply will not reply to asks or DMs about the topic.

◢ Diagnosis ~ While we have had education in psychology and we do plan to finish our education eventually, at the moment we are NOT professionals. This means that no matter how much you share with us in terms of your System symptoms WE CANNOT DIAGNOSE YOU. The BEST we can say is ‘That lines up with our experiences/ the experiences of others we’ve met’ and move on.

◢ Medical Questions ~ As stated above, we are not professionals. This means we will not be giving advice on how to tell the difference between disorders or what the definitive symptoms of something are. We cannot tell you more than what extends to our personal experience, so please do not come to us looking for information on the disorders you have.

◢ Crisis Support ~ We are very happy to give you advice and allow you to rant as needed, we will support if we can. With that said, try to remember that we are a System dealing with trauma as well. We are not crisis counselors. If you are in immediate distress please see this list of international crisis helplines.

➻ Who We Are ⤵

This blog is run by the LostSouls House. We are a Polyfragmented System in our 30s. We do not typically leave our names on things on this blog and we intend to continue that trend. We’re here to give advice, so we don’t feel the individual matters as much. We use singular and plural identifiers interchangeably on this blog and often in real life! We like film, reading and writing, but there isn't a lot more to say about is here.

➻ DNI ⤵

➽ Anti-LGBTQIA+/2S

➽ Racists

➽ Pedos/MAPS

➽ Necrophiles

➽ Nazis

➽ Ableists

➽ TERFs

➽ Anti-Whatever Pronouns

➽ Fatphobes

Hello any and all who still follow this blog, we're very grateful that you've stuck around the last year and a half, maybe more. We're finally in a position to come back to this and do what we love; Helping Systems!

The return will start with an update to our pinned post (Or maybe a new pinned post entirely :0) and will continue with some answering of asks that have been sitting in my box since I left. I know the people who asked them likely aren't in need of that advice anymore, but someone might be. I will not be answering all of the requests I left, as there are into the 100s and it would take too long to do all of them, and field new content. If you asked a specific question you're still waiting for an answer on, inbox me and I will search it out.

I will be answering a few right away, then queueing the rest for release so I don't clog up everyone's dash with my catching up. You are technically free to send us any anons now, but ne aware I may not get to them straight away.

Thank you very much!

There are a few logistical things we need to sort out and some revamping to do if we're going to get this up and running again, but honestly I miss doing this so much. We might even make a discord, of things pop off enough around here again.

Hi there Anon! Thanks so much for the addition.

Hi again Anon!

I am glad you saw a Dr, but I'm sorry to hear you suffered medical neglect. That's always such a terrible thing to go through. On that note, another Anon (Linked here once answered) mentioned a treatment, so I'll be posting next.

Oh! This is looking shockingly common! I'm very excited to see these! Thank you for the addition.

Thank so much for the addition Anon!

do you have any advice for fictives who feel guilty for being sexual?

esp when in their source the creator said not to sexualize their characters or the fictive in question is canon divergent from age or sexuality?

we have a fictive, A, that comes from a source where the creator said specifically not to sexualize the characters. and while we respect that and dont post it publicly, we still feel ashamed and afraid of judgement.

we get we arent our sources and we are real people but it’s still really scary.

Hi Anon! That's a tough spot to be in.

In our opinion, introjects are a bit different from characterization. An introject is a person, not a representation in media. they have wants and needs, desires and fears and a lot of those won't line up with their Canon, because they are not their source. They are a part of your System and function every day in real life. They have a right to be sexual as they please, as long as it isn't hurting anyone.

While I do understand the wants of a creator, as one myself I also understand the cost of being known. As much as it is annoying, the world will do what they will with intellectual property they are exposed to, whether a creator likes it or not. Chances are, they weren't speaking about introjects when they made clear not to sexualize their content. Chances are they don't even know what an introject is. If you're not influencing anyone, you're not hurting minors or manipulating anyone and you're not stuffing it down the creator's throat? I honestly can't see you having too much to worry about.

Hello there Anon!

I'm not sure how 'normal' it is, but we also experience this! We have a host of physical issues that cause twitching, but they are much worse during switches. Especially in our arms and neck. I have often wondered if this is something other Systems go through, so I'm glad you sent this ask!

I've started to realize I may be part of a system, and I've been thinking this for I think almost 2 years now? but I'm still not sure and I'd like to just kinda talk about my experiences because it's been really confusing lately! I think about 2 years ago, I was researching dissociative disorders because I knew someone in a discord server who had one, and a little bit before/after that (not sure if it was before or after) realized that my repetitive childhood experiences *do* "really count" as trauma, and that was when things started to click. For a while I thought it could possibly be OSDD-1b, but recently I've realized that I've always had a lot of bad memory problems, and around winter I think (I don't remember for sure when it was), I had what seemed like total blackouts? Basically what happened is that I was in my room, and I "woke up" with the lights completely off (I'm extremely afraid of the dark so I wouldn't have done that purposefully), I was holding a stuffed animal, and one of my sketchbooks was on my pillow under my head, and one of the pages had scribbles on it. I asked my entire family if they had turned off the lights, and all of them said no? I've been thinking to myself that it could've been sleep-walking or something, but I talked to my family about it, and apparently I've never sleep-walked before, even as a kid, let alone recently. Other things that happen are that I would get random thoughts in my head that didn't feel like they were from me about "being" a certain character (even ones that I hadn't thought about/paid attention to at all since I was I think 7 or 8?) which I think could be introjects? But I'm not sure. I would also feel like someone else is controlling my body, and from the times I'm aware of, would constantly avoid looking in the mirror/reflections because it didn't look like "them", and it caused great distress. I've also described some of what I think are different parts to my long-term friends, and one of them told me that he would talk to someone who met the exact description of one of them when we were younger, which I don't really remember. Which to be fair, could be because it was 5+ years ago, but at the same time I remember a lot of things from when I first met those friends, and those memories are very close to my heart because of how close we are. Not to mention I have very common feelings of not knowing who I am, and one of the possible parts that I'm aware of makes total sense coming from one of my traumas. (his personality clicks exactly to how "I" would act while the trauma was happening, and he looks a lot like a character that gave me a lot of comfort during that time. I seem to have a lot of introjects, which I assume is because I've coped with fiction for as long as I can remember, and indulging in a "world" that wasn't the one that hurt me so much has always been really comforting to me)

Sorry for the book of text, and sorry this is all over the place, I just wanted to get some confused, scared, and lost feelings out ;;v;; By the way, I hope you're doing alright! And thank you so much in advance!

That's okay Anon! Sometimes we just really need to get these things out.

I read your ask and a lot of those things sound like what we went through in our teenage years, so you certainly could be experiencing Systemhood. As I've said before- I'm not a medical professional so I can't diagnose, but a lot of those things do sound like things we have experienced.

Introject heavy Systems are just as valid as any other System, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. There are so many reasons why a System might be introject heavy, but you seen to have touched on your suspected reasons so I'll leave it at that.

Hey there Anon. That sounds Unbelievably frustrating, but you ARE valid.

We have a SubSystem that is disproportionately sized to the rest of our System. Where most of our SubSystems have 5-15 fragments, this SubSystem has over 40- and they are ALL the same character. We HAVE other alters/SubSystems, but they don't seem to split as frequently. Sometimes it's all about what our brain can handle and interpret, which might mean splitting the same introject in different forms. Your brain might be using how well you know that character as a vessel to help you understand what's going on with your System.