I hate when syscourse is like "we all experience plurality wether disordered or not, we are the same thing"
like not coz it's not about plurality ? It's about the PTSD, the dissociation, the flashbacks, the chronic pain, the social challenges that it brings
Plurality is so secondary like even tertiary, irl no one knows about DID, we appear as weird, sometimes aggressive and dangerous, the memory issues and dissociation make it that it' just hard to do anything ever
It takes me an hour to wash a plate and a fork because I'm zoned out for most of it and randomly stop moving, sometimes I can't even do tasks, because an other alter has the knowledge of this skill and I have no idea what to do
It makes it borderline impossible to get a job (before treatment of course) because genuinely I can't be present ever, I don't retain info so I make people repeat over and over, then they leave and I forget the entire thing
Plurality is like, so unimportant and that's why we want our own space, it's not just about the alters
I want to be able to look up in the "actually DID" tags to find a way to cope, there use to be good tips here, sometimes I want info on how to get through a suicidal trauma holder or a persecutor that wants to destroy everything we own.
Now when I look it's mostly incorrect quotes, funny haha "inner world" interactions, it's basically a fandom with the fanart, aesthetics and roleplay that go with it
it's crushing, I feel so alone now because it's hard to find other systems that actually have the disorder, the tags means nothing more than a visibility tool and I'm just sad.
Having DID feels lonelier than ever now