Ham-ha

perhaps having sex in the middle of a forest would fix me

I bet gollum gives the driest head imaginable like you'd be all up in his throat feeling like ur sticking your dick in sand paper with dust flying out every time he gags

The majority of replies to this post are telling me to die but my favorite are the ones disagreeing with me cause gollum is described as wet and slimey. So don't worry everybody rest assured that according to the text gollum doesn't cough up dust when he gags he's actually the #1 throat goat with a slimey sloppy ushy gushy thrussy that can take 10 inches like its nothing

you can tell a lot by a womans hands, for instance, she has hooves? horse. 

Make women hairier in video games... she is running for her life she doesnt have time to shave

This blog is only for fuckups, burnouts, losers, criminals and the mentally ill btw

Hey girl, is that a gun in your pocket or is your penis just cumming lots of metal into my leg 😏

midwife? don't say that. a wife could never be that.

it's not natural for candy to be $3.49. candy is supposed to be one dollar

candy should cost a nickel and we should all wear little propeller hats when we eat it

*pointing at your wife*: you know that thing would eat you if you died, right?