⚔️🌸

this and a blunt

I know it feels good as fuck to cast spells from up there

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away

fuckkkk my sacrificial lamb has started hanging out with the scapegoat

If you knew what i'm capable of with a block of parmesan cheese and a carton of heavy whipping cream, you would kill yourself

Give me a lemon too and it’s over for the rest of you

⬆️ this bitch cooks

Who are the dudes holding them?

Stephen King and Jerry Seinfeld

out in public looking tortured