fortune 500

do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

when people are like "i didn't come here to make friends" i'm like thats sooooo unrelatable. i am always on the look out for some girl friends. I would be in that hunger games cornucopia like "your ex boyfriend did WHAT."

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

literally everything is unisex if u stop giving a fuck

when i turned 25 i started craving vegetables and the craving never went away

yeah im eating vegetables again

crazy how if you do your chores and obligations first thing on a day off you can enjoy your free time more than if you feel like you’re procrastinating your chores and obligations the whole time. i will not be learning from this experience

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help