I miss the president THINKING full stop

*gently buries my face into a very soft dog*

Date someone who will date you

Need me a freak like that

honest relationships and mutual respect and trust do exist. I know they love to tell you they’re just concepts on here but they really do exist. stop listening to angry singles online about relationships. you wouldnt listen to somebody sleeping in a tent telling you how to own a house like? come on

So how long after this post did y'all break up?

we’re still together and have been for almost 3 years and we just moved in together you tried it you hatin ass bitch

im crying a lil bit

I need this in my tumblr forever.

is anyone gonna talk about how his kids name is bacon???

HE’S WITH SUZIE THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD OTP

who names their kid bacon

Calvin and Hobbes were Reformation-era philosophers, as was Frances Bacon. I’m better his daughter’s name is actually Frances, but he calls her by the appropriate last name of the philosopher, just as Calvin and Hobbes are last names.

is no one gonna talk about how the girls afraid of Donald Trump in her closet

I think Trump being the boogeyman makes perfect sense…

There is literally nothing about this post that I don’t love.

me as a discovery

THEY’RE ROASTING HIM

How lit is this lol

Please appreciate that those basketballs had to be inflated to different pressures to produce notes. Not only did they have to tune the balls, they had to figure out not when the balls should hit but when they should be dropped to hit at the appropriate time.

*wakes up* what the fuck

I mean…look at her. She is incredibly beautiful.

Man Who Lost Arm By Plunging It Into Lava Smugly Refuses To Describe What Lava Feels Like

so i was running a fever the other day and have no memory of writing this

unimpressedcats first ever post!