I'm the Possum. Hold me.

as funny as “those are his hooves you bitch” I’m mad that it overshadows that lil wayne really did have socks on in a jacuzzi 

can y'all stop just throwing random words together and expecting us to understand it

you had to be there

It's wednesday

I feel like people see me as a dog they wish they could put down (remembers we’re supposed to be over the dog motif) i feel like someone’s hamster that’ll be flushed down the toilet

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.

The funniest and most enduring legacy of dashcon.

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

Me, passing a car covered in horny thirst-trap anime girl stickers: while I personally find this to be cringe, given the national push for censorship, I must concede that this is technically Praxis.