I'm the Possum. Hold me.

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

If the only thing that has kept you going was outliving Mitch McConnell, imma need yall to pick a new person to outlive and fast. Your mission is not over.

Fun fact: due to the ongoing financial support from the people of tumblr, critically endangered pygmy raccoons being rehabbed in Cozumel are now able to get vaccines for deadly diseases like distemper and rabies before they are released.

The funniest and most enduring legacy of dashcon.

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

Me, passing a car covered in horny thirst-trap anime girl stickers: while I personally find this to be cringe, given the national push for censorship, I must concede that this is technically Praxis.

in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look

did you know you can reblog a post without adding things to it

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were at my house party and all they did was stand in the corner and blink in sync with each other. At one point I saw Mary-Kate put a cigarette to her mouth and take a long drag, then Ashley blew out the smoke.