sweetiee

and when shane finally does get a girlfriend when they're like eighteen, ilya seduces and fucks her. he thinks about shane the entire time and is absolutely furious with himself about it. he casually tells shane about it like a week later because as angry as he is at himself for doing something so terrible, he's equally angry at shane for making him feel this way and it makes him want to be cruel.

Yuna notices something is wrong because of course she does and together with David they herd Shane into some private empty side room hoping it will help him calm down. But it doesn't. He wont stop shaking and his breathing is too fast and he flinches at their voices even tho nobody is speaking loudly. Won't let Yuna come close to hug him or rub his arm.

Maybe Yuna is starting to panic a little herself, her heart aching as she watches Shane wrap his own arms around himself, hates that she cant do anything when her son is so clearly in distress, hates that she can't seem to think of anything that will work-

When suddenly the door bangs open and Ilya Fucking Rozanov??? strides into the room with quick steps, makes a beeline directly for her son, eyes locked on him like he doesnt even register her and David in the room as well and Yuna opens her mouth to cuss him out, tell him to fuck off and not bother Shane right now, she can feel her body moving already to stand in front of Shane protectively when David grabs her arm because-

Because Rozanov is pulling Shane into his arms, one hand on the back of Shane's neck, guiding his head to press into the crook of Rozanov's neck and Shane isn't fighting it, doesn't flinch from his touch. He goes where Rozanov arranges him and let's himself be held and rocked back and forth gently as Rozanov presses his mouth to Shane's ear and starts whispering something so quietly that Yuna can't really make out the words but what she can see is Shane's shaking subsiding, hands fisting tightly into Rozanov's shirt, his breathing going slowly back to normal because - oh. oh - her son is syncing his breaths with Rozanov who, Yuna realises, is taking very exaggerated deep slow breaths of his own so Shane can match them. And then Rozanov turns slightly while still rocking them both back and forth and Yuna sees Shane's face where it's smushed into Rozanov's neck. Sees the look there.

And that's how Yuna realises her son is in love and the man - his years-long rival - he loves must have left in the middle of his award-winning show to come here and pull her son out of a panic attack like there was no place he'd rather be than right here with Yuna's overwhelmed panicked boy in his arms, soothing him until Shane's body relaxes completely into that hold, mumbling that he's fine yet not pulling away and Rozanov makes no move to let go either.

The Distance Between Us by Bruja_oscura

what was going through my mind as i made that connor design 😭😭😭

does this count as me having drawn shane mgreg??

✧

i feel like my masterlist has gotten a little unwieldy so here’s some WIP fics i’ve been keeping in touch with that aren’t on there yet!

The Shape of Leaving: the Admirals don’t win the 2017 cup, and Shane and Ilya break up before the summer. They keep talking anyway

you'll have this place to call home, always: a therapized Ilya reunites with Shane many years down the road, and meets his daughter. making me very sad for both of them but also very sweet

Simple Learning: “They have a plan. Ilya's body has a different plan”: what if Ilya was the one we made pregnant? a little grim, as unexpected pregnancy often is! i really like how everyone is characterized

Dawn in the Altered World: Shane and Ilya reunite after the apocalypse “Or: The world ends. Shane Hollander starts playing for Boston. Yes, in that order.”

i’ve been thinking a lot about housewives recently & the next two are different takes on what it would mean for Shane to be a “housewife” (not to Ilya to be clear, both have eventual hollanov)

courage (my word): “Shane thinks about dying all the time. It's a lot funnier than it sounds.”

(^^would rlly recommend reading the tags on this throughly first it’s pretty grim)

It turned out the hockey season was a lot more hectic with a full social life in the BDSM club scene and a fiancé who he could never quite escape from. Not to mention wedding planning? God, Shane was in over his head. All he wanted to do was shut his mind off and be a kitty. sequel to 'is just ten year plan to fuck' 125k WIP

Chapter 5 of the second part of the kitten shane series is out! (355k complete)

so I've been bitching a lot and I thought it was time for some positivity so I'm gonna do a post of my favorite fics ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About my tastes: PAIN!!! I mean, genre-wise I prefer drama. I like problems and narrative tension and whump and angst and dark themes. but I also like a goddamn happy ending. I steer clear of major character death and heavy explorations of grief. I live for deep interiority and emotion.

we're heavy on Ilya whump in here because there's just so much good Ilya whump out there but I do also love me some Shane whump so... send me recs? 👉👈🥺

Many of these fics have trigger warnings. Read the authors' notes and tags.

This list is alphabetical because, how else are you supposed to do it??

1. Do you hate stories where the characters make one terrible decision after another? Do you hate cheating and love triangles and miscommunication? Then you will HATE this fic! But if, like me, you are an enlightened pervert who loves mess,

Do the Wrong Thing by MacyFletcherFiction, Explicit, 144k, complete

After Shane's plan to come out to Ilya in Tampa falls through, the pair have a falling out. There is no cottage. Instead, Ilya is forced to wait and see Shane at a charity event being held in New York. Ilya hopes that, after a miserable summer apart, he and Shane can reconcile.

There's just one problem.

Jordan Bragg, a forward for the New York Admirals, has also come out as gay. Stunningly handsome, funny, and just what a heartbroken Hollander needs, Jordan makes it clear that Ilya Rozanov isn't the only one after the Metro's star centre.

I cannot stress enough how ridiculously fun and messy this fic is. Decadent and disastrous, bordering on pulpy and I mean that in the good way. Suitable for reading in the bath with a bottle of champagne and a triple chocolate mousse cake.

2. LET'S HURT ILYA ROZANOV, sexual abuse and blackmail edition:

I'll Think About Tomorrow (If I Can Get Through Tonight) by Smokeybubble, Not Rated, 65k, WIP

LeClaire’s hand is still on his shoulder, and Ilya knows that it doesn’t look like anything. A coach speaking to one of his players. LeClaire’s heat seeps through his suit jacket, and his breath is a warm, damp wash of air against Ilya’s ear.

“They’ve finished up with the awards,” he murmurs. “You look like you’re ready to get out of here.”

Ilya nods tightly and sets his drink down on the table.

OR:

Gregori Rozanov was bad in many ways, but Coach LeClaire might have him beat.

Shane Hollander has something to say about that. It turns out a lot of people do.

Do you want pain, for free? Do you want to watch Ilya suffer in silence for seven years believing there's no way out? Do you want to cry because nobody is there to wrap him in a warm blanket and pet his hair and tell him shhh it's going to be okay???? (dw Shane will get there eventually) READ THIS FIC it is so good. I literally do a happy dance when a new chapter appears in my inbox.

3. Shane and Ilya meet as kids and NO STOP KIDFIC HATERS DON'T WALK AWAY I SWEAR IT'S AMAZING

the long way around by ladyofthelake17 @queerilya, Explicit, 66k, WIP

Ilya and Shane meet in Ottawa in 2001 as teammates for the local youth hockey league.

In this one, they take the long way around.

I almost never read kidfic but I met this author in the Hollanov Big Bang server and she said some things that made me think wait I want to read this and I'm very glad I did, it's REALLY good. Among the best characterization I've seen in the fandom, not just of the leads but of supporting and minor characters too.

4. LET'S HURT ILYA ROZANOV, immigration law edition:

Protected Person by chinesebakery @chinesebakery, Mature, 27k, complete

Shane finds out on Twitter.

Not from a lawyer or a teammate or even one of the journalists who've been calling nonstop since the FanMail video went viral. He finds out at 6:47 am, still in bed, that Russia is coming for Ilya. Propaganda charges. Passport revocation. Return to the Russian Federation required.

What follows is weeks of watching everything fall apart. Ilya's career. Their safety. The system that was supposed to protect them. Shane keeps playing while Ilya can't. The lawyers file paperwork and say to wait. Montreal demands silence.

Shane faces a choice: keep his head down and trust the process, or burn down his career and force the world to pay attention.

He chooses fire.

This is kind of what I wish The Long Game had been, ngl. Because wdym the whole Russia threat was completely dropped from the storyline? This was a take on it that felt terrifyingly realistic to me (despite the author admitting she is not a lawyer) and just on the whole is so well-written.

5. LET'S HURT ILYA ROZANOV, hate crime and medical trauma edition:

Staring at the Sun by Nerve_Itch @muffichka, Explicit, 91k, complete

The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating.

The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice.

“I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

“Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little.

- Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

Picture this fic with lipstick kissy marks all over it. Those are from me. The first several chapters have the narrative suspense of a good horror novel and I was a goner from there. It's sad and terrifying and enraging and sexy and, ultimately? Triumphant. MUAH.

6. In which the rec list compiler lied about these all being longfics with happy endings:

thylacine by Anonymous, Explicit, 10k, complete

He’s just about ready to doze off—his ritualistic pre-dinner, thirty-minute nap—when, suddenly, Ilya says, “Huh. Interesting.”

Shane cracks one eye open. “Hmm?”

“Oh, nothing, малыш,” he replies, though his brows are furrowed when he says it. Shane’s even more curious now.

“No, really, what is it?”

Ilya must lose some internal debate; a deep sigh leaves his body before, wordlessly, he turns his phone to Shane.

The bright light makes him squint, still not used to Ilya and his affinity for both using the light-mode feature and turning the brightness in his phone to a maximum. He forgoes scolding him when, after his eyes have adjusted, he reads: Metros acquires Fil-Canadian Rivera; second Asian player in franchise history after Hollander.

At first he thinks, oh, that’s my name. Shane hasn’t seen his name mentioned remotely near the words ‘Montreal Metros’ ever since he transferred to Ottawa three years ago. Then, and this is when it finally dawns on him, Shane thinks: second?

It's not that this has a tragic ending exactly -- it's simply a character study -- but WOW that ending will punch you in the gut and stay with you. Also not a longfic. I don't care, it's one of my favorites and I want people to read it so it's going on here.

7. We are finally done hurting the boys!

Vessel by medric @bluegrasshole, Teen, 21k, complete

Eleven years ago, a total psychopath walked into a bar, onto a wharf, and all over Captain Shane Hollander’s life. And then he did it again, and again.

The lobster fishing AU. You read that right. Trust me, it's so good. My only complaint is that I want 100000 words more of it. Not as angsty as the rest of the list but still enough delicious introspection to meet my needs.

8. Psych, we're not done hurting them, SHANE PAIN TIME

Watering by wheredidyougetthat_line, Mature, 36k, complete

When Dallas texts him, I’m flying in Tuesday, getting in at 11:45, Shane thinks of all the things he might do instead, alone. He thinks there is a world in which he could say, I can’t today, but the text is not a question, the ticket is already bought, Kent never asks him if he’s welcome first. Kent picks up and flies to another city, because he knows he’s welcome, he knows Shane will let him inside. There was a moment, back in September, when Shane might have asked himself if he wanted this—is this the man you want to sleep with? Is this the way you want to spend your time? Are you having fun? It doesn’t matter. This is the person who wants to be with him.

He wonders if this is how Ilya felt about him. Impassive.

Or: After an unexpected encounter just before the start of the 2016-17 season, Shane falls into a casual relationship with Dallas Kent. He doesn't meet Rose Landry. He doesn't set foot in Ilya's house outside of Boston. (There is no tuna meltdown.) He stops waiting for Ilya Rozanov to text him back. It's fine, until it isn't.

That’s why he reads Russian Hockey history and Canada-Russia hockey history.

Now, picture this, post-TLG, Shane wants to understand more about being gay. But of course he is not a pop culture gay. So what does he do? He reads every gay book, fiction or not, that has hockey in it.

In one hand, I need Shane reading Let us play by Harrison Brown. I need it in my soul.

In the other, I want Shane stumbling into gay hockey romance and having strong opinions about “that’s not how hockey works” and “there’s barely hockey in these”. Shane text-venting Ilya about how wrong a book is about something.

I could not find a lot, so I would love some help with this one (: Also, this is similar to another anon who asked "fics where everyone thinks ilya is controlling/bad boyfriend but they are proven wrong please." I decided to combine them together!

Misunderstood Ilya

🏒 or don't text me at all 

Some of Shane's text conversations with "Lily" that, if leaked, could reasonably be construed as Shane having an abusive girlfriend. He just has a pain kink, though.

🏒 Boston Lily | 1.2k

After a meet-up with 'Boston Lily', Shane shows up at practice with some suspicious bruises. Hayden notices

🏒 It's Illegal in Canada, Shane! | 1.3k

When Hayden catches sight of Shane leaving Ilya’s hotel room with bruises, he makes some…incorrect assumptions

🏒 Wrong end of the stick AKA How Scott Hunter learned about Ilya and Shane | 1.8k

“That’s because you are an asshole.” Scott had not meant to say it out loud, but he didn’t like Rozanov. He was an asshole. And despite what he was seeing with his own eyes, always thought Ilya was homophobic, or certainly not accepting of the queer culture given he was from Russia.

🏒 Unexpected Joy | 2.0k

Yuna wasn’t sure what she had expected Ilya Rozanov to be like off the ice, but it definitely wasn’t this.

🏒 Call Me Boring | 2.0k

🔒 In which Ilya thinks he is being too mean to Shane, and Shane tries to figure out why his menace of a boyfriend is suddenly a saint.

🏒 Does It Have To Be Him? | 2.9k

Five times Hayden's perception on Shane and Ilya's relationship is changed and one time he finally admits that it just might not be that bad.

🏒 3 Times People Worry About Shane (+1 Time They Really Don’t Have To) | 3.0k

“Of course I’m not okay with this - he’s fucking hurting you Shane.” Yuna takes the opportunity to finally say it outright. She doesn’t hide the vitriol in her tone.

🏒 I Do It For You | 3.0k

jj and hayden visit shane at the cottage & jj realises there’s more to rozanov than he ever knew

🏒 Peak Ipad Kid Ilya | 3.2k

Ilya is always looking through Shane's phone. The team is just worried about Shane.

🏒 He's Lovering Your Mother | 3.5k

Shane and Hayden go to see Shane's parents, when Rozanov is there, Hayden jumps to a very wrong conclusion.

🏒 it's not what it looks like | 4.0k

“Right, right,” Hayden replied, “Ok. Here goes,” Hayden looked down at his phone before looking back up at his wife, the dreadful words falling from his lips, “I think Shane’s in an abusive situation. And I think the abuser could be Boston Lily.”

🏒 rozzy's protection squad | 4.2k

 J.J. and Hayden don't understand why Shane chose Rozanov

🏒 Knowing You | 4.2k

Five times that people were wrong about Ilya Rozanov.

🏒 Lazy | 5.2k

Shane finally looses it on JJ

🏒 Spit In My Mouth | 9.2k

5 times the Centaurs and other GC friends think Ilya is being a pushy or bossy twat to Shane, and one time they see Shane's true colors

🏒 Thawing Ice | 9.3k

Yuna Hollander thinks Rozanov is an asshole. Rozanov proves her wrong.

🏒 Even Gingerale Can't Fix This | 12.7k

Hayden is forced to see a different side of Ilya and begins to understand his relationship with Shane/what Shane sees in him.

🏒 you know i think about you all the time (my deep misunderstanding of your life) | 14.4k

Hayden finds himself unlearning everything he thought he knew about Ilya Rozanov

🏒 I Like Jane For You | 17.6k

After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

🏒 Oh I’m Tricky, But You Figured Me Out | 22.7k

Just Shane casually assuming he'll always have to share and never be enough for Ilya and Ilya horrified to realize just how resigned Shane is to assuming Ilya will never be satisfied with him the way Shane is with Ilya

🏒 Hayden Pike's Gay Agenda | WIP

Hayden is trying to figure out how to break up Shane and Lily. Ilya is trying to figure out who is sending him threatening texts about his relationship with Shane

🏒 Progression | WIP

Yuna doesn't like him.

🏒 Weak Excuses | WIP

5 times people believed Shane is trapped in an abusive marriage and the 1 time Shane sets the record straight ft. misunderstandings, good intentions and a bisexual Russian menace who loves his boring Canadian husband

If you have any suggestions, feel free to add (:

Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, David Hollander & Yuna Hollander & Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s01e01 Rookies (Heated Rivalry), the elevator scene went differently, Mutual Pining, Bad Flirting, flirting in front of parents, Fluff and Humor, mention of suicide, no beta we die like shane hollander’s sanity Summary:

if, on the night of the commercial shoot, Yuna actually spoke to Ilya in the elevator, invited him to dinner with her family, and accidentally blue-balled her own son.

Chapters: ¾ Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Montreal Voyageurs | Montreal Metros Team Ensemble (Game Changers), Ottawa Centaurs - Character Additional Tags: Crack Treated Seriously, Attempt at Humor, Post-Book 2: Heated Rivalry (Game Changers), Competent! Shane, Dramatic! Ilya, Fluff and Humor, No Beta, just a short silly fic, Himbo! Ilya Rozanov Summary:

Shane grows up with parents who take him camping and teach him how to fix things around the house. Ilya grows up in a metropolitan city; his idea of fixing things is to call a guy.