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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"
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ilya and svetlana's friendship is so good they're childhood friends, they're lovers, ilya is her gay best friend who is also a straight bro, svetlana is his only voice of reason, they fuck, they do girls night, they pick hookups for each other, sometimes they can't stand each other, they would kill for each other
i keep seeing well-meaning posts about tagging on ao3 claiming that 'no archive warnings apply' means a fic is fluffy and wholesome and maybe smutty but can be trusted contain nothing upsetting. and from the bottom of my heart, please, this is so wrong. like, even aside from the fact that 'upsetting' is a very personal definition, it literally just means that none of the big four archive warnings apply, and i promise you it's very possible to write a DEEPLY upsetting fic that contains none of those things.
Also: "Creator chose not to use archive warnings" does NOT mean that the fic is safe and fluffy, either. It means exactly what's on the tin: THIS FIC MAY CONTAIN ANYTHING. BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING.
the big four warnings are: noncon, underage sex, graphic violence, and major character death. which means that, even if we restrict to common topics many people are interested in exploring in a fic space, 'no archive warnings' can include:
the vast majority of politics and history
recovery from physical or sexual abuse
abortion and miscarriage
death of minor characters, grief as a major theme or the central topic of the story
including death of a parent, sibling, partner, child
disease, medical abuse or trauma
serious injury and slow/painful recovery or lack thereof
chronic fatigue, chronic pain, other chronic disability
animal abuse
cheating
divorce
serious bigotry treated seriously
serious bigotry treated like a joke
colonialism and forced assimilation, eugenics
genocide (described non-graphically)
grooming and romantic abuse of children, assuming sex is either implicit or doesn't take place until the kid turns 18
phobias, dissociation, hallucinations, unreality in such a way that can be very psychologically disorienting
horror genre and horror pastiche
workplace politics and drama, workplace harassment and abuse, capitalism basically just sucking
the most annoying people you ever met who simply won't stop talking to the main character
natural disaster
man-made disaster
inaccuracy about real world information, including conspiracy theories and dangerous advice
inaccuracy about canon lore, possibly on purpose as ragebait crackfic or badfic
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The penultimate intermission, wherein Ilya gets up to no good (except double it and give it to the next person) again, is now live.
We're getting into hairy territory now and I'm at the point where I'm considering hibernating until the final chapter has been posted.
Don't Touch Me, I'm a Real Live Wire (47311 words) by MoonchildMuses
Chapters: 12/15
Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov, Hayden Pike, Jackie Pike, Hayden Pike's Children, Tanner Dillon, Luca Haas, Nick Chouinard, Wyatt Hayes, Evan Dykstra, Zane Boodram, Harris Drover, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander, Dallas Kent, Cliff Marlow | Cliff Marleau
Additional Tags: Spree Killer Ilya Rozanov, Homicide Detective Shane Hollander, Ambiguous/Open Ending, No happy endings to be found here, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Language, Blood and Violence, Aftermath of Violence, Minor Character Death, POV Shane Hollander, POV Ilya Rozanov, Hurt Shane Hollander, Hurt Ilya Rozanov, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Dom/sub, Power Dynamics, Shane Hollander is exactly where he wants to be, Under-negotiated Kink, Orgasm Edging, Orgasm Denial, Multiple Orgasms, Ruined Orgasms, Scene Gone Wrong, but they're both ok, Knifeplay, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov is a Model, Shane Hollander Has Sensory Issues, Alternate Universe, Consensual Non-Consent, Restraints, Murder, Major Character Injury, But no major character death, Porn with Plot, author refuses to use anything other than the metric system, Phone Sex, these tags are in the completely wrong order I'm so sorry, Subspace, Sort Of, Cock Rings
Summary:
“What the fuck, Ilya? You’re a fucking serial killer.” He backs up into the bedroom slowly, the way you’d retreat from a raging bear, until his back hits the sliding glass door, cool against the broad span of his shoulder blades.
Ilya tuts, a feral look in his eyes, “Not a serial killer, a spree killer. You should know this, Hollander. Is it not your job to catch men like me? Or are you too busy turning a blind eye to the abusive assholes you work with, too busy covering up their crimes?”
What’s the difference between a cottage and a cabin? The amount of spree killers present, apparently. Shane’s place has quickly gone from quaint lakeside cottage to a nightmare cabin in the woods.
It doesn’t help that the killer happens to be the man Shane loves, or that his chances of survival are dwindling by the minute. Turns out, red flags just look like ordinary flags when you’re wearing rose-coloured glasses, though one would think a homicide detective would be able to sense when he's being stalked.
Franciscan nuns at the Convent of St. Anthony of Padua, Spain, are keeping a giant rabbit breed from dwidling to extinction. To fund their conservation efforts, the nuns sell homemade cookies and ice cream. (People)
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