Crack fic headcon where on Ilya’s last year in Boston, he told his team he’s seeing someone and planning to move to Canada to be close to his partner.
The Bears are supportive ofc, even though it’s sad to their beloved captain going away. But Ilya is also being intolerably in love with this mysterious partner of his by gushing and talking about his Jane in front of anyone who dares to listen all the time, it’s downright annoying. So it makes Ilya’s leaving easier for the boys.
Cut to a few weeks later, one of the bears sees a pic of Shane online and notices he’s wearing a pair of sunglasses that looks a lot like the one Ilya bought for his Jane(which he spent hours choosing from a sea of glasses that looks exactly the same and makes it everyone’s problem).
Then a few more weeks later, Bear is playing the Metro and another teammate of Ilya notices the watch Shane wears on the postgame interview looks exactly like the one Ilya bought for Jane.
And they keeps noticing, cuff links, a tie Ilya jokes that he’d let Jane tie him up with, even the goddamn phone case! Every time Ilya buys something for Jane, it ends up on Shane.
And what’s the only logical conclusion the Boston boys can draw from this? Jane is cheating on their captain with Shane fucking Hollander!!!!
The nerve! Ofc, the Bears are furious. Their captain is willing to throw away his career for love and this girl is cheating with Ilya’s biggest rival???
Marly thinks they should just tell Ilya and break everything off. Connor wants to teach Hollander a lesson by doing something borderline illegal. St Vicky suggests they should just set Roz up with someone else, someone better. Hammy wants revenge, and revenge spells a three steps plan:
2. steal the girl’s pet if she has one, if not they will find something precious to use as leverage to get the girl to come clean
3. Steal Hollander’s precious someone for payback. (They’ve heard rumors that there’s a lily, but they don’t know where to find her, and the second option is obviously hollander’s mom)
Feeling ambitious, the bears decides to do all of these things everyone has suggested.
Ofc chaos ensues. Yuna keeps getting flowers from the bears confessing their love. At one point Shane goes missing for two days and it’s on the news. And Ilya is in deep panic mode because first it feels like his teammates know about his relationship, soon it feels like a hate crime, then everyone is madly in love with his future mother in law so maybe this is a love crime? Marly keeps having this constipation face around him and telling him weird shit like “you can’t trust them” , “next one is always better”, “you’re a great guy, Roz. You know? Hot, rich, funny, and a fucking beast.” And keeps hugging him.
Ilya thinks maybe Marly is in love with him and the rest of his team kidnapped his boyfriend to eliminate the competition.
And Shane. Well. He doesn’t know what to think, he’s been invited to a summer beach house against his will, and his captors keep feeding him food that will mess up his diet. So he’s guess this must be something hockey related?
